I have three more chemotherapy treatments, the last being March 6. I really hope my subsequent scans show a clean bill of health.

Chemotherapy is no joke. It's rough as fuck. It zaps any strength, taste, energy, and any acuteness you had. It's a wave of decent days, then shit days just after the chemo. I've been given Lorazepam to use for nausea and anxiety; the latter of which is so bad I throw up from the anxiety, not the chemo itself. (They do give me anti-nausea pills - Aprepitant - to combat that.)

Despite how any of us have had words or attitude on here, I don't wish this on anyone here. It's horrible. But it's cureable. My lab work every time I go is excellent; kidney, liver, blood sugar, etc. Numbers are golden. My oncologist has told me, "you're doing great." I wish the rest of me knew that.

My doctor also told me, "you're not unique. People often adapt to the physical first, then the mental catches up with them," which is exactly what's been happening to me.

But I still go into it with a grateful attitude. I have a great team of woment taking care of me (from doctor, nurse, palliative nurse, psychologist, etc).

Chemo is such a huge trauma on the body, you can't estimate how much it's going to fuck with your mind and body like that.

So whatever you believe in, I just ask for continued good vibes and prayers in the last stretch of my final 3 treatments. I need all I can get.

Feb 6

Feb 20

Mar 6

Thank you for updating us!

You've got this!

Wishing you both, good vibes and Prayers!

I'm anxious to hear the good news you'll have when you get your scans!

Hang in there!

I certainly add my prayers and best wishes to you for a full recovery. Hang in there!

You got this, TP!
If i can survive a heart attack, then you can get through this!
i'll admit, overcoming a near-fatal event is a mind trap,
but finding the key to get out will bring you more clarity than you have ever known!!!

nayroo2002 said:

You got this, TP!
If i can survive a heart attack, then you can get through this!
i'll admit, overcoming a near-fatal event is a mind trap,
but finding the key to get out will bring you more clarity than you have ever known!!!

Wow, I didn't know that about you. Kudos on making to the other side.

It's amazing how much we think our bodies can handle as opposed to what they can really handle. It's hard to keep your head while your body is going through psychical trauma but you've got this.

Thanks for the update and I'll keep you in the positive/healing vibes.

Sorry to read this, Ernest. Stay strong!

Glad to hear the treatment is working! But sorry to hear it makes you feel so terrible.

I have one more to go on March 6. Then I have my PET scan on March 10 (which scans for cancer, sorta like a CAT scan). I think I'll be due for a biopsy as well to double check. They really go far to check for Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

The most recent chemo (last Thursday) was the worst of the worst. 10 out of a 10.

My team is great, and I'm trying to hunker down for the last one coming.

One note: They took me off one of the four chemo drugs (Rituximab) and replaced it with an immunotherapy drug. It's not typical protocol, but there is new data from late last year that shows the mixture works great.

The Rituximab really caused problems with GI and some lingering sickness. I was glad to get rid of it, and at least have it replaced with something better tolerated. I'll only have the two sessions w/ the immunotherapy drug added to the cocktail.

My doctor has told me that I am fully having PTSD episodes. It compounds because the prompts are happening along with the actions of the infusion. The last two chemos I've been wheeled out in a wheelchair to the car. It was just that bad (plus sweating, groggy from Lorazepam, etc).

I'm just ready for this part to be over. It's hell. I don't wish it on anyone.

I'm good this week. I typically have an upswing the next week and do okay at home. Tired a lot, etc., but I get along. I'm looking forward to recovering a bit after the last chemo. I'll be 57 on March 22, so I wanna get there with a clean bill of health.