I have seen a thread that is talking about how a couple of our Gay Mafia orgers are going thru a really hard time dealing with the lonely issue that so often rears its head in our community. I think that a lot of ppl from the str8 world view us as nothing more than sex crazed/pill popping/whoring sodomites who want nothing more than a good dance...a good drug...and a good fuck. When in all actuality we want what every other person wants. We want someone to not only share the good times with, but someone who will be there for us when the times are bad. I am a 22 y/o gay man living in one of the most homophobic regions of America, and have only found love once and that was in Conn. I know how y'all feel when u say that life is lonely, because it is. We are conditioned to think that what we are is directly related to our inability to have a normal functioning relationship. I hate the word normal, but yeah, that is what we want. We want someone to spend our lives with, to lay in bed Sunday morning reading the Times & doing the crossword. We want someone there to walk in the rain with. We all want someone there not only 2 keep us warm during the night, but someone there who we can depend on. Lonely is something that we do to ourselves. I am lonely because I am a "FIXER". Or at least that is what my shrink tells me. I have come to realize that because of my basic need 2 make all of those around me happy, I sacrifice my own happiness. There can be no middle ground. Sometimes I reach out and grasp for the little bronze rung of the ladder, hoping for nothing more than a little time & happiness with another soul. The chance to connect, the chance to love. I want y'all to know that your not the only ones out there who is lonely. It is the human condition to b lonely. I have the pleasure of seeing a couple of gay relationships that have lasted longer than 6 months......it is an oddity for our community. I know a couple who have been together for 30 years. My best friend was with his lover for 18 years until his untimely death from Aids. ...but he continues on, he was "lucky" not to contract the virus, and has a currant boyfriend who he has been with for the last 3 years. It kind of gives me hope for the future of the gay world. Maybe when we all realize that everyone is not gonna look like an A&F model, when everyone is not gonna b perfect, we will actually find that which we crave the most. Until then, enjoy life. Don't allow the lonely monster take control of u. Don't b bitter, don't be jealous. Just be glad that u have been given the time & understanding 2 know what u really want. Then go after it with total drive...

alexnevermind319 said:

wow, JS...
beautiful
simply beautiful

Alex...
why you ain't on TEAM BAD yet???

cborgman said:

ty Chris...

00769BAD said:

My Kang......u knowz i iz all yo's...


where is the sign up sheet?...

alexnevermind319 said:

TEAM BAD sign in sheet
or
Welcome to the BAD ONES

00769BAD said:

Both...

I heard those commenst about it not being possible in our community to have a long lasting relationship. what bollocks!! we ARE that community, and if we chose to do it another way, and have some more respect for oneanother; instead of first fuckin, and THEN see if you like'm: we might prevent the amount of misery a lot of gay men have to deal with.
no matter how bitchy the attitude; we all get hurt if we get treated like dirt.

alexnevermind319 said:

You in... I had to steal you from the "GAY MOFIA" though.
not that you have to give up your membership, but one day
you may have to choose!!! MUAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAH!!!

00769BAD said:

::LE GASP::

you said it was just you versus me! well, the mafia is about to start recruiting!

:shakes his fist angrily towards BAD and his treehouse::

00769BAD said:

Be careful. Bad don't like compliments from men

00769BAD said:

can't i b n both?...

zobilamouche said:

i agree with this to a point. There are a lot of men out there who fuck on the first date...and that is sad...they don't even want 2 have a relationship...but i think the reason that they do this is because it has been ingrained into their psyche that they cannot have the relationship...they are not allowed...it is against everything that society tells them...yes we do all hurt the same...but some of the ppl n our community STRIVE off of the pain that they bring upon themselves...and that leaves the ones who really care out n the dark......maybe one day we will wake up and realize that the only ones 2 blame is us...but i don't really c that happening anytime soon...

alexnevermind319 said:

go ahead, JS, but never forget whose side you belong to if we go to war with team bad...

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i don't see your name on TEAM BAD either
whut up???
TEAM BAD
has no beef with any gender race or sexual preference,
BUT BAD will rip as usual.
I told you i have a 'GAY' following, but i also have BOUNDERIES.
so come on and get on team BAD.









edit the slash
[This message was edited Wed Apr 30 22:36:48 PDT 2003 by 00769BAD]

cborgman said:

...ok...

fucked up edit


Team Bad
[This message was edited Wed Apr 30 14:02:13 PDT 2003 by alexnevermind319]

zobilamouche said:

I think that this mindset has a lot to do with the fact that society does not sanction any part of our lives, especially relationships. Unlike straight people who are encouraged to get married, we can't even have consentual relations with each other according to the laws in many states. This contributes to the sense that our relationships aren't as meaningful as straight relationships.

I agree, I just want someone to love and to love me back

Unlonely edit
[This message was edited Wed Apr 30 14:03:12 PDT 2003 by SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

and so is the majority of gay men out there...they just want to have someone...get the whoredom ova with b4 ur 25...then live ur life...

indeed - act out puberty; then shake it off.
speaking of which... it's late here and i'm tired. just a quick and bedtime babyyy!
see you guys around
xxx

Wow! Thank you for writing this thread. . .

I think after coming out we go through another teenage euphoria period (we are finally able to be ourselves). When I first came out the friends that I lived with told me that it was like they were living with a teenage daughter (boys calling at all hours, etc.)

7 years later and my boyfriend of 4 years just proposed [totally surprised me with the whole thing]! The beautiful ring is on the finger and we are beginning to talk about having a ceremony. . .

alexnevermind319 said:

my lil alex!!!

floralelephants said:

Thank you for your repsonse...and i think that was what i was trying to convey...Ppl do not realize that the majority of gay ppl did not come out during puberty...most of us waited until it was "safe" *out of highschool* before we went out on regular dates...it is this new found freedom that often leads to ppl being whores......and then after they get it out of their system they want 2 settle down...have a meaningful relationship...hopefully they didn't hurt their rep 2 much before this 2 actually achieve it...

..
alexxx

u knows i dig u

keep it real brotha

i hear u

this boy gots much love fo yaaa
..

Very heartening statement, Alex. Good on you.

stepinrazor said:

...thanks Step

Proud Member of the Gay Org Mafia
&
Team Bad/The Bad Ones

jthad1129 said:

...ty...


Member of the Gay Org Mafia
&
TeamBad/The Bad Ones

It's absolutely great to see how the coming-out age is more and more in check with normal puberty years, what should diminish the difficulty of arranging a "normal" life.

I still do some work for a gay org here in the city; and when I hear the stories of the older gaymen - you notice we've come far in a very short time. so far - we're going in the right direction. As of next month; I can get married in my country..
how about THAT!

Alex

I have never been one to be 'homophobic' I think you are a great person and thats all I see There are so many a***holes in the world ruining peoples lives... why hate the people who live a different lifestyle to me when there are people out there doing real harm.

I believe in the love between two men, two women and (obviously) the usual man and woman kinda shin-dig. This gives everyone the right to be lonely... though obviously we'd all prefer not to be when confronted with such a situation!

I have nothing but respect for you alex to be able to admit how you feel in a world that is not always that understanding. I have respect for all people and all life but all in different ways...

However I find it admirable in any1 to be so honest, you are great alex and i hope you'll find some1 who is as willing to settle as you are...

(PS couldnt resist the usual repetoire(sp?) we share alex )

spadgified edit
[This message was edited Thu May 1 6:15:33 PDT 2003 by JaneyPoos]