.

I admit it, I'm scatologically obsessed.

I don't even know if I spelled that right.

But I find shit, in all of its forms, hilarious!

Once we opened the front door of our apartment to find that some animal (possibly our landlady...?) had taken a shit on our front stoop. Our lazy asses didn't immediately clean it up because, c'mon, we're college students!

Anyhow as I was coming home from class, I notice that the shit is gone. Good, one of my housemates cleaned it up I think. But no. I open the door and it's tracked all the way inside. I kid you not, there is a fucking trail.

Turns out my housemate had borrowed my other housemate's shoes, unknowingly walked in the poo, then took the shoes off and put them on our other housemate's bed.



I've shared; now, you!

yuck!

this does NOT warm my cockles

I take my nephews to the Circus.

At one point they ask this woman sitting close to us to ride a horse. There's no danger as she will be tied to the top of the circus with a rope.

The horse starts running and then it happens:

The woman falls from the horse but stays spinning round, hanging from the rope at 1.5 meters. People laugh and applaud but then she wets herself.As people notices pee dripping to the floor an embarrasing silence follows.

I still blush when I remember.

Y aqui acaba mi historia. No poo but pee

Natsume said:

A friend of mine told me this story about a girl he met. This girl was in Germany for Holidays. She was leaving in a city next to Berlin. One night she went to a party in Berlin. At the disco she met this great guy and slept with him at his place. The next morning the guy wakes up early because he has to go to work. He tells her to leave whenever she wants. Like my place is your place.

She has to catch the train back to her house so she wakes up right after he leaves. Decides to take a shower, but first poos in the toilet. But horror, there’s no water!!! The poo remains there.

She feels ashamed of the poo, and takes it out of the toilet with a plastic bag. He may find some pee, but not poo. Leaves the poo-bag next to the door (there are some thing you don’t want to forget). Gets dressed and finds out that with all that poo thing the time is passed and is about to miss the train. So she runs out of the house. Right there, outside the house, she remembers the little present. But the door is closed and of course she has no key.

They never met each other again. But I’d have liked to see the guy’s face when he sees the present. I’m sure he thought she was a kind of psychopath or something.

Aqui acaba mi historia tambien, Sorry I didn’t write this very well. It’s a funny story, but my english sucks.

peace

Natsume said:

lol these are great stories!



Okay so I've shared how my housemate's boyfriend wipes his shitty ass with toilet paper, then drops it in the trashcan...

(he smokes like a fiend and drinks pots of coffee a day so imagine how that smells)

For some reason I am always the lucky one to take out the garbage.



And bkw, you are constantly changing nappies, so you've gotta have something! Poo is the story of your life.

I remember reading a (true?) story of an unfortunate attendant at a zoo who gave a constipated Elephant a large dose of laxative, a few hours later the forgetful guy walked behind the elephant and was promptly suffocated and died under a huge amount of Elephant crap.

Natsume said:

What the HELL is his reasoning for THAT?!!!

Does he think it's gonna plug up? The toilet
is MADE for that...

Revolution said:

I honestly have no idea. He's a mountain man type, always living out in the woods and camping and stuff, so I guess the concept of toilet paper is completely foreign to him.

This is actually a true story:

When I was in primary school, one of my classmates took the notion to climb a tree that branched out over a road. He then proceeded to try and shite on the cars that passed below. I say try as I imagine that it would take exquisite timing to actually hit a moving vehicle. He didn't come back to school after that.

His younger brother set fire to their house. I don't know if there was any poo-poo involved in this however.

I took a shit in my bosses garden. Her son invited me to a party last year so I knew where she lived. So one night when I was walking to the bus stop with my friends (Drunk as hell) I left her a present. Bitch

A cat that I once had kicked one of his terds out of the litter box and my moms friend picked it up and said "hey there's an almond roca laying on your floor".

Paisley said:

ewww!!

luv4thepurple1 said:

Oh but dont worry she didn't eat it, she threw it when we told her what it was.

Paisley said:

don't tell me she went and ate it...



anyway, i gotta poo (true) story...my dad keeps tellin me about this:

when i wuz about 3 or 4, i guess i pooped on myself or sumfin. i went and got a pencil and i stuck the dookie on it. my dad wuz asleep on the couch or sumfin, and i came up 2 'im and i held the 'dookie stick' up 2 his face.

needless 2 say i woke his ass up. ahhh, youth...

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

:LOL: :LOL:

has anyone ever did doodoo outside ?

utopia7 said:

camille4u did...

Natsume, you are so gross.

mrdespues said:

These stories are great! Dansa, you naughty girl!

Okay let's dig up another one...

Once one of my boyfriends came over and went in our backyard for the FIRST time, and it was a big deal because my dog used to bite anyone and everyone who a.) wasn't us and b.) not an adult. But he was tied up so we didn't have to worry that day.

Anyhow he ended up stepping in and tracking in my dog's shit all over the house without knowing it. My mom was the one to discover it. We were all horribly embarrassed.

It's probably an urban legend, but I like the story.

A civil servant in the Netherlands works in The Hague. He has to go to a meeting in Utrecht. Being a civil servant, he goes by train. In the train he thinks he has to fart, farts, but he turns out to have the runs and his pants are full of it. He can't go to the meeting like that.
So he gets out of the train in Woerden (a village between the Hague and Utrecht) where the station is close to the shops. He goes to a menswearshop, selects a pair of pants his size (obviously doesn't try them on), pays for them and hurriedly grabs the bag from the counter and makes it back to the station, just in time for the next train. He will now be a little late for the meeting, but not to much.
When the train is moving again, he goes to the toilet, strips of the pants and throws them down the toilet (really just a hole onto the tracks), cleans himself and opens the bag from the shop, only to find...three T-shirts.
He grabbed the wrong bag from the counter.

mcmeekle said:

hjd said:

dude...

I would love to share my stories but I scared alot of people in chat when I started telling them and dont wanna get banned from the Org

Natsume said:

i didn't know any betta!!!

i was 6
sister was 5

back when folks could leavve there kids in the car while they shopped

i really had to go

and just my sister and the side walk
did know



but i did get spanked