let me tell ya....

the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.

Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" i waves my hand,

"Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!"

Miss Rogers says, "All right, robert, what is your multi-syllable word?"

i says, "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, robert, that's a mouthful."

i says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

Reaching the end of a job interview,

the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer

fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,

"And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year,

depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of

five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental,

company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary,

and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"

The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me...

Some guy called me a tool.

So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.

Guess he was right.

I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store.

When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.

I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours."

He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

ALRIGHT time to go BUT FIRST

Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*

"Whose Stella is this?"

XxAxX said:

XxAxX said:

the one with masterbate is really funny

they ALL are