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Thread started 04/23/21 4:46pm

KingBAD

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"I can hang"

"muthafucka... this is life..."

i watched a Lexus mechanic removing a

cylinder head from the motor of a LS460 when

he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager

to come and take a look at his car

when the mechanic shouted across the garage

"Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised,

walked over to where the mechanic was working.

The mechanic straightened up,

wiped his hands on a rag and asked

"So Doc, look at this engine.

I opened its heart, took the valves out,

repaired or replaced anything damaged,

and then put everything back in, and when I finished,

it worked just like new.

So how is it that I make $48,000 a year

and you make $1.7M,

when you and I are doing basically

the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, leaned over,

and then whispered to the mechanic

"Try doing it with the engine running".

_______________________________________

it's not like i'm listenin

but some things just can't be missed

________________________________________

Wife asks her husband

"Could you please go shopping for me and buy

one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back

with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him

"Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied "They had avocados".

_______________________________________

Saw two great numbers plates on

his and hers vehicals.

ERNA and SPNDA

_______________________________________

this man and woman were workin together and

the woman says to him "watch this...

i'm gonna get the boss to give me the day off"

the guy asked 'how'

she says "just wait watch and see..."

she climbs up on some stuff

then hangs from the ceilin.

the boss comes in sees her hangin there

and asks "what are you doin???"

she replies "i'm a lightbulb"...

the boss orders "you been workin too hard

you need to take the day off... go home..."

as she picked up her belongins

and headed for the door

the guy gets his shit to leave with her...

the bos says

"Hey!!! what do you think you're doin????"

and he replies

"you don't expect me to work in the dark

do you???"

______________________________________

DIDJAKNOW:

If you glue a wasp to the palm of your hand

You can smack your boss in the

back of the head as hard as you want

and act like you just saved they life...

______________________________________

Yeeeeeeah....

bein all positive and nice to erbody

is great... BUT

have you ever dropped a good

"FUKKK YOU!!!"

on someone you didn't like???

that shit makes the sun rise...

_______________________________________

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #1 posted 04/23/21 5:01pm

luv4u

Moderator

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moderator

lol lol

Edmonton, AB - canada
Mod Goddess of the SNIP & BAN Making Moves - OF4S
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
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Reply #2 posted 04/27/21 4:29pm

XxAxX

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Dog Funny GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

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Reply #3 posted 04/27/21 4:30pm

XxAxX

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Dog GIFs | Tenor

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Reply #4 posted 04/27/21 4:31pm

XxAxX

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310 Dog therapy ideas | therapy dogs, therapy, dogs

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Reply #5 posted 04/27/21 5:48pm

KingBAD

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XxAxX said:

Dog Funny GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #6 posted 04/27/21 5:49pm

KingBAD

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XxAxX said:

Dog GIFs | Tenor

lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #7 posted 04/27/21 5:49pm

KingBAD

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XxAxX said:

310 Dog therapy ideas | therapy dogs, therapy, dogs

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #8 posted 04/30/21 8:35am

S2DG

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."

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Reply #9 posted 04/30/21 8:54pm

S2DG

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?


I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest.






Is this thing on? Try the clam chowder and please tip your waitresses...

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Reply #10 posted 05/01/21 8:16am

S2DG

S2DG said:

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?


I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest.






Is this thing on? Try the clam chowder and please tip your waitresses...




Guess not...


tumbleweed

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Reply #11 posted 05/02/21 10:17am

KingBAD

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S2DG said:

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."

lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #12 posted 05/02/21 10:18am

KingBAD

avatar

S2DG said:

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?


I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest.






Is this thing on? Try the clam chowder and please tip your waitresses...

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #13 posted 05/02/21 10:20am

KingBAD

avatar

S2DG said:

S2DG said:

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?


I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest.






Is this thing on? Try the clam chowder and please tip your waitresses...




Guess not...


tumbleweed

lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol

now you know the feelin

lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #14 posted 05/02/21 6:06pm

S2DG

KingBAD said:

lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol

now you know the feelin

lol lol lol lol lol lol



falloff


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