"marvelous night isn't it???"

Y'all ready???

we need to do some catchup...

Last evening, I ate at a local restaurant

that features exotic bird dishes on the menu.

I ordered the Toucan.

It was delicious, but at the end of the meal,

I was left with a large bill...

i smoke a lot of weed...

anybody else ever sit

and really think about the

high rate of devorce among

socks???

Me: IT'S NOT ILLEGAL!!!

Cop: lookin in my trunk filled

with creamy peanutbutter...

But it's just SO MUCH...

Me: BUT it's not illegal

Cop: no... no it's not...

there's somethin to be said

about a guy and his wife sayin

they met on ancestry.com...

i'm just not gonna say it...

ok... i'll tell you some jokes...

A couple in their 60s got a visit

from a fairy that grants em both

a wish...

The wife says "i wanna take a cruise

around the world with my lovin husband"

*BAM* two luxury tickets appear in her hand...

The husband says "FUKKK THAT!!!

my wish is to have a wife

thirty years younger than me..."

AND JUST LIKE THAT

*BAM*

he was in his nineties...

This lil kid comes up to me

and asked if i knew the song

about Bingo...

"I use to love that song

when i was a kid" i tell him...

So...

He asked me if Bingo

was the farmer or the dog...

I've been questionin erthing

i thought i knew in life...

EVERY WOMAN

has at least one challenge in life...

they either marry it

Or they give birth to it...

i bought this woman i'm seein

a card that said

"GET BETTER SOON"...

She wasn't sick or anything

i just figured she can do better...

It's ALMOST

like the cops don't know

the speed limit is different

when you listenin to Eminem's

new shit...

REMEMBER WHEN

your mom use to drop you

off at the roller rink

with a pocket full of cash

and then just leave you there???

then you'd tell em you were sleepin

over at friends houses

but you were actually laid out

on someone's lawn dyin from

alcohol poisonin...

ok... i'm done...

well...

i could finish by tellin you

the story my buddy told me...

KingBAD said:

"marvelous night isn't it???"

Y'all ready???

we need to do some catchup...

Last evening, I ate at a local restaurant

that features exotic bird dishes on the menu.

I ordered the Toucan.

It was delicious, but at the end of the meal,

I was left with a large bill...

i smoke a lot of weed...

anybody else ever sit

and really think about the

high rate of devorce among

socks???

Me: IT'S NOT ILLEGAL!!!

Cop: lookin in my trunk filled

with creamy peanutbutter...

But it's just SO MUCH...

Me: BUT it's not illegal

Cop: no... no it's not...

there's somethin to be said

about a guy and his wife sayin

they met on ancestry.com...

i'm just not gonna say it...

ok... i'll tell you some jokes...

A couple in their 60s got a visit

from a fairy that grants em both

a wish...

The wife says "i wanna take a cruise

around the world with my lovin husband"

*BAM* two luxury tickets appear in her hand...

The husband says "FUKKK THAT!!!

my wish is to have a wife

thirty years younger than me..."

AND JUST LIKE THAT

*BAM*

he was in his nineties...

This lil kid comes up to me

and asked if i knew the song

about Bingo...

"I use to love that song

when i was a kid" i tell him...

So...

He asked me if Bingo

was the farmer or the dog...

I've been questionin erthing

i thought i knew in life...

EVERY WOMAN

has at least one challenge in life...

they either marry it

Or they give birth to it...

i bought this woman i'm seein

a card that said

"GET BETTER SOON"...

She wasn't sick or anything

i just figured she can do better...

It's ALMOST

like the cops don't know

the speed limit is different

when you listenin to Eminem's

new shit...

REMEMBER WHEN

your mom use to drop you

off at the roller rink

with a pocket full of cash

and then just leave you there???

then you'd tell em you were sleepin

over at friends houses

but you were actually laid out

on someone's lawn dyin from

alcohol poisonin...

ok... i'm done...

well...

i could finish by tellin you

the story my buddy told me...

"As I left the hardware store the other day,

I was fumbling for my car keys and could not find them.

They weren't in my pockets.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.

Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My wife has scolded me many times

for leaving my keys in the car's ignition.

She's afraid that the car could be stolen.

As I looked around the parking lot,

I realized she was right.

The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police.

I gave them my location,

confessed that I had left my keys in the car

and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult

call of all to my wife:

I left my keys in the car

and it's been stolen.

There was a moment of silence.

I thought the call had been disconnected,

but then I heard her voice.

"Are you kidding me?" she barked,

I dropped you off!

Now it was my turn to be silent.

Embarrassed, I said,

"Well, come and get me then".

She retorted,

"I will, as soon as I convince this cop that

I didn't steal your fukkkin car!"

"Welcome to the Golden Years"

i bought this woman i'm seein

a card that said

"GET BETTER SOON"...

She wasn't sick or anything

i just figured she can do better...

.......... good idea

XxAxX said:

i bought this woman i'm seein

a card that said

"GET BETTER SOON"...

She wasn't sick or anything

i just figured she can do better...

.......... good idea

I heard

He became a billionaire selling scrap steel,

the rust is history....