God this sucks! My best friend is too whipped to spend any time with me. I've tried my best to be a supportive, non-jealous friend, but its so frustraing. Should I say something to her? I miss my friend
[This message was edited Sat Apr 26 18:41:09 PDT 2003 by creamychemist]

i've had this happen 2 a friend of mine as well...she still hung around, of course--but her man just had 2 be in tow and they had 2 suck face/hug/cuddle/whatever at any given moment.

as 4 what 2 say, creamy, i don't really know...

This is an age-old issue, and it happens with EVERY pair of friends. Say how you feel--if she gets defensive and says "How can you SAY that?" tell her that you don't want to only be a friend to her when she's having "guy trouble" (WHY is it that the stolen friend ONLY comes around when their love affair is not working??)

Off Topic: But how come nobody on this org can spell the word lose right? I mean is she loose because a screw fell out


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[This message was edited Sat Apr 26 17:26:52 PDT 2003 by lovemachine]

Just step aside and let them be happy. What's meant to be will be.

I have had this happen to me sooo many times when I would not even see a girlfriend or talk to her because she had a guy in her life.

I remember one friend that I had known for many years calling me on the phone and we would make plans to go out. Then about five minutes later, she would call me back to say that she was not going out with me, she was going out with her boyfriend. This happened to me several times until I finally got sick of it and just abruptly cut her off.

Another high school friend and I were close, until she became serious with a guy. I remember calling her many times just to talk to her, but never getting a chance to because she was out with her man. I would leave a message with her mom to have her call me back, but she never did.

My advice is if your so-called "best friend" acts like she is too busy to hang with you just because she has a boyfriend, then she is not truly a good friend, and you need to find other people to hang out with. The reason why I say this is because I have friends who have had serious boyfriends in the past, and they ALWAYS made time for me and called me on the phone, even if it was only once a week. Your friend should respect your friendship with you and make time for you. If she doesn't then you seriously need to ask yourself if you need to have this person in your life. Not to sound harsh, but I have been where you are and I know how you feel about this situation. I have learned to let these people go, and yes at first it was hard because I missed them, but in the end it was probably the best thing that I could have done for myself. Good luck to you.

psychodelicide said:

Can't the person be in love and be in the courting stage?
When you meet someone and start to develope a relationship, all you want to do is be around the person. It doesn't mean you don't care about your friends any less.

Well, that was not the impression that I got from former friends who had serious boyfriends. The fact that they didn't call me back and broke their plans to hang out with their boyfriends tells me that they didn't care too much about me or how they were hurting my feelings. I would not even THINK of doing the above-mentioned things to ANYONE who I considered to be my friend.
[This message was edited Sat Apr 26 17:35:17 PDT 2003 by psychodelicide]

lovemachine said:

I can't spell - you've discovered my dirty little secret. Spelling bees were always my enemy as a child. God created edit buttons for a reason - ME

Side note: at least I haven't turned to princebonics.

try a strap on to get her attention

creamychemist said:

i say use that time to go on a few dates yourself or something... you could find to.

DORA said:

This is why I love the org... don't get that kind of advice from my mother! (or the NPGMC forums )

SuperC said:

I'm sayin! It sucks at first. My best friend would make plans w/ me & break them, things we used to do together were suddenly silly to her but she'd come runnin when he was trippin People just get caught up in new loves & have to find a balance, that's all. She's still your friend. If you want to be honest & tell her how you feel that's fine, but don't approach it in a jealous bitchy way. Know that you both will have to adjust & your adjustment has to happen first. She'll come around eventually & she'll be glad to know she's missed

creamychemist said: