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Thread started 10/11/20 11:37am

KingBAD

"KingBAD… did you say "kiss my face off"? 'Cuz I'd like that real well!!!"

"...you can be the president..."

This is a story of self control and marksmanship.
i know a woman survived a grizzly bear attack
with one well placed shot from her itsy bitsy
.25 caliber Beretta Jetfire.
These are her own words.:
While out hiking in Missoula, Montana with my boyfriend,
we were surprised when a huge grizzly bear
came charging at us out of nowhere.
She must have been protecting her cubs
because she was extremely aggressive.
If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire
I would not be here today!
I yanked it out of my purse and fired one shot.
It hit my boyfriend in his kneecap
and the bear caught him easily.
While the grizzly mauled the poor cripple,
I was able to escape by just walking away
at a brisk pace.
I love that pistol.
I'll find other boyfriends.
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #1 posted 10/12/20 12:58pm

KingBAD

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a
traffic light in downtown Dublin,
when a bunch of rowdy drunks
pull up alongside of them.
"Hey, show us yer tits,
ya bloody penguins!"
shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked,
Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says,
"I don't think they know who we are;
show them your cross."
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts,
"Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers,
before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window,
looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks,
"Did that sound cross enough?"
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #2 posted 10/12/20 8:42pm

purplethunder3
121

avatar

lol lol lol lol lol

The President visits a school

The President was visiting a school, and in one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," the President says, "That would be an accident."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside ... that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the President. "That is what we would call a huge loss"

The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.

"What?" asks the President, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally Little Johnny in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying the President and his wife was blown up, that would be a tragedy."

"Wonderful!" the President beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says Johnny, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no huge loss!"

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #3 posted 10/13/20 5:49am

KingBAD

purplethunder3121 said:

lol lol lol lol lol

The President visits a school

The President was visiting a school, and in one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," the President says, "That would be an accident."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside ... that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the President. "That is what we would call a huge loss"

The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.

"What?" asks the President, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally Little Johnny in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying the President and his wife was blown up, that would be a tragedy."

"Wonderful!" the President beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says Johnny, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no huge loss!"

lol lol lol lol lol

i gotta use this

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #4 posted 10/13/20 5:02pm

XxAxX

avatar

KingBAD said:

"...you can be the president..."

This is a story of self control and marksmanship.
i know a woman survived a grizzly bear attack
with one well placed shot from her itsy bitsy
.25 caliber Beretta Jetfire.
These are her own words.:
While out hiking in Missoula, Montana with my boyfriend,
we were surprised when a huge grizzly bear
came charging at us out of nowhere.
She must have been protecting her cubs
because she was extremely aggressive.
If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire
I would not be here today!
I yanked it out of my purse and fired one shot.
It hit my boyfriend in his kneecap
and the bear caught him easily.
While the grizzly mauled the poor cripple,
I was able to escape by just walking away
at a brisk pace.
I love that pistol.
I'll find other boyfriends.

Gif 1205: Funny Video, Bears, Eating, Gif | Gifon007.eu

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