My oldest son went out drinking with a female friend one night and well...

A few months later she came back and said she was pregnant and it was my oldest son's. (He's 34 now.) She said she knew it was because of the timing, but she had been with someone else about a week later. In the time that she disappeared and came back, my son started seeing someone else and they are still together. The "friend" had a little girl on the 16th. Can you tell by looking at the baby this early or comparing with a baby picture whether there are similarities?

I guess a part of me wants to be a grandma, another part of me, knows that this girl won't really let me be involved and kind of hopes it isn't for that reason. My son has been very careful about all of this, until this time (obviously). This is the first time that there's even been a remote chance. I do have a side by side but I think I'm too close to the subject to be objective.

benni said:

My oldest son went out drinking with a female friend one night and well...

A few months later she came back and said she was pregnant and it was my oldest son's. (He's 34 now.) She said she knew it was because of the timing, but she had been with someone else about a week later. In the time that she disappeared and came back, my son started seeing someone else and they are still together. The "friend" had a little girl on the 16th. Can you tell by looking at the baby this early or comparing with a baby picture whether there are similarities?

I guess a part of me wants to be a grandma, another part of me, knows that this girl won't really let me be involved and kind of hopes it isn't for that reason. My son has been very careful about all of this, until this time (obviously). This is the first time that there's even been a remote chance. I do have a side by side but I think I'm too close to the subject to be objective.

I'm dreaming of a day that I will become a grandmother.

You can always force a blood test, I take it the girl hasn't mentioned anything else about it, to your son?

How does your son feel about it?

It may be a hard thing if the girl doesn't want him or his family in her life.

Hugs to you benni.

PennyPurple said:

benni said:

My oldest son went out drinking with a female friend one night and well...

A few months later she came back and said she was pregnant and it was my oldest son's. (He's 34 now.) She said she knew it was because of the timing, but she had been with someone else about a week later. In the time that she disappeared and came back, my son started seeing someone else and they are still together. The "friend" had a little girl on the 16th. Can you tell by looking at the baby this early or comparing with a baby picture whether there are similarities?

I guess a part of me wants to be a grandma, another part of me, knows that this girl won't really let me be involved and kind of hopes it isn't for that reason. My son has been very careful about all of this, until this time (obviously). This is the first time that there's even been a remote chance. I do have a side by side but I think I'm too close to the subject to be objective.

I'm dreaming of a day that I will become a grandmother.

You can always force a blood test, I take it the girl hasn't mentioned anything else about it, to your son?

How does your son feel about it?

It may be a hard thing if the girl doesn't want him or his family in her life.

Hugs to you benni.

The last time the girl talked with my son, she was 34 weeks pregnant. She's not asked him for child support or anything.

My son isn't sure how he feels. He said he would like to be involved, if the baby is his. He definitely wants a paternity test done, but doesn't have the money to get one.

She hasn't told him the baby was born. But I knew the due date was the 16th (baby was born on the 16th) and you all know me, I started researching and found her mother with pictures of the baby. I mean, if she is my grandbaby, I do want to be involved.

My niece passed away this week and I was searching out pictures of her from when she was little for her mom, and started coming across old photos of my son, and his baby pictures, and of course, had to put them side by side...But, I'm too close to have an objective opinion of whether there are any similarities.

Gosh darn my boy! I taught him better than that. I told him that and he said, "Mom, obviously I listened because I've never ever had this happen before. It was just this one night, really didn't expect that because we've always been just friends, so I wasn't prepared." I'm still a little aggravated with him.

Problem is the dates line up, but she was with someone else about a week or two later. So that's why my son is going back and forth on whether the baby is his. I told him he would have to go by the due date, with ultrasound they can guess gestation pretty good.

[Edited 7/18/20 19:24pm]

I'm so sorry to hear about your niece.

Hopefully this will all get straightened out.

Found out last week that my 18 year old nephew got a girl pregnant, they are expecting in January.

My youngest daughter has been married for 5 years, been with him 10 years, and is 27. I'm about to find her birthcontrol pills and exchange them for sugar pills. I'm getting desperate. LOL

benni said:

PennyPurple said:

I'm dreaming of a day that I will become a grandmother.

You can always force a blood test, I take it the girl hasn't mentioned anything else about it, to your son?

How does your son feel about it?

It may be a hard thing if the girl doesn't want him or his family in her life.

Hugs to you benni.

The last time the girl talked with my son, she was 34 weeks pregnant. She's not asked him for child support or anything.

My son isn't sure how he feels. He said he would like to be involved, if the baby is his. He definitely wants a paternity test done, but doesn't have the money to get one.

She hasn't told him the baby was born. But I knew the due date was the 16th (baby was born on the 16th) and you all know me, I started researching and found her mother with pictures of the baby. I mean, if she is my grandbaby, I do want to be involved.

My niece passed away this week and I was searching out pictures of her from when she was little for her mom, and started coming across old photos of my son, and his baby pictures, and of course, had to put them side by side...But, I'm too close to have an objective opinion of whether there are any similarities.

Gosh darn my boy! I taught him better than that. I told him that and he said, "Mom, obviously I listened because I've never ever had this happen before. It was just this one night, really didn't expect that because we've always been just friends, so I wasn't prepared." I'm still a little aggravated with him.

Problem is the dates line up, but she was with someone else about a week or two later. So that's why my son is going back and forth on whether the baby is his. I told him he would have to go by the due date, with ultrasound they can guess gestation pretty good.

[Edited 7/18/20 19:24pm]

I highly recommend that a blood test be done. It will prove whether he is the daddy or not. And I would bring that up to a judge to order a paternity test.

If he does turn out to be the daddy then you can be a Grandma.........

Some women will finger a man and say he's the daddy and take him to court for child support and what not.

never a dull moment with you benni! I think your son should try working it out with the woman/friend to get a paternity test. She told him he might be the father already, even if she's not saying anything now. Would be so much less drama not to have the courts involved. The child will need/want to know someday, maybe for medical reasons as well as personal. How much is a paternity test? I have no idea.

benni said:

PennyPurple said:

I'm dreaming of a day that I will become a grandmother.

You can always force a blood test, I take it the girl hasn't mentioned anything else about it, to your son?

How does your son feel about it?

It may be a hard thing if the girl doesn't want him or his family in her life.

Hugs to you benni.

The last time the girl talked with my son, she was 34 weeks pregnant. She's not asked him for child support or anything.

My son isn't sure how he feels. He said he would like to be involved, if the baby is his. He definitely wants a paternity test done, but doesn't have the money to get one.

She hasn't told him the baby was born. But I knew the due date was the 16th (baby was born on the 16th) and you all know me, I started researching and found her mother with pictures of the baby. I mean, if she is my grandbaby, I do want to be involved.

My niece passed away this week and I was searching out pictures of her from when she was little for her mom, and started coming across old photos of my son, and his baby pictures, and of course, had to put them side by side...But, I'm too close to have an objective opinion of whether there are any similarities.

Gosh darn my boy! I taught him better than that. I told him that and he said, "Mom, obviously I listened because I've never ever had this happen before. It was just this one night, really didn't expect that because we've always been just friends, so I wasn't prepared." I'm still a little aggravated with him.

Problem is the dates line up, but she was with someone else about a week or two later. So that's why my son is going back and forth on whether the baby is his. I told him he would have to go by the due date, with ultrasound they can guess gestation pretty good.

[Edited 7/18/20 19:24pm]

so sorry to hear about this Benni , and about the perplexing situation with your son - I hope that comes to an amenable conclusion and if you do end up being a grandparent, that is one lucky baby

Thank you everyone for your replies. Sorry I haven't responded before now. I traveled to Missouri for my nieces funeral and I've been isolating at home since then because I didn't want to take the chance with anyone in case any one there had tested positive, or coming in contact with anyone during my travel. Since I was off work for almost a week, it got crazy real quick when I went back and have been really busy.

I didn't get to see the MaybeGrandbaby while I was in Missouri, which was a disappointment, but I talked with my son and we've agreed to move forward with a paternity test if she ever comes forward and makes a claim that the baby is my son's again. At this point, she has dropped that claim. My son said that while he wants to know for certain, he also understands and respects the first few months with a new baby can be a trying time for a woman, and he wants to give her some time to adjust to being a mother. He's offered to help her with any expenses in the interim and she turned him down. However, she does have a boyfriend now, and my son thinks that it is the same guy that she had dated right after my son. If that is the case, then he may have gotten a paternity test to confirm the baby is his. We just don't know. So it's just a wait and see at this point.

benni said: