"if U feel alright, let me hear U scream!"

3 women go to an exotic strip club with all male strippers...

the first woman (stop me if you heard this one)

pulls out a $10 bill, licks it and sticks it to dude's left ass cheek.

the second woman wasn't about to be outdone

she takes a $50 bill, licks it and sticks it to his right ass cheek.

the third woman, seein how things were goin,

pulled out her ATM card.

shit licks it and slides it down the middle of his ass cheeks

takes the $60 and leaves....

yes i'm single

and you'll have to be a toxic piece of shit

with at least a dozen red flags and hangups

to change that...

i just saw a commercial for sheets that

keep you cool all night long...

well shit!!!

what happens if i'm cold???

WHAT A CROWD WHAT A CROWD WHATACROWD....

so

a lawyer, an accountant and a cowboy were

standin side by side takin a piss...

THE ACCOUNTANT finished, zipped up,

then litterally started scubbin his hands

he scrubbed allaway up to his elbows...

he used about 20 paper towls to dry off

then looked at the others and said

i'm from the university of michigan and

they taught us to be clean....

the lawyer finishes wets his fingertips

grabs one paper towl and says

i'm from the university of colorado

they taught us to be enviormentally conscious...

the cowbow got done and said

i went to the university of nebraska

they taught us not to piss on our hands

when we take a leak...

hate to say that's my time BUT

that's my time...

glad you could all make it out tonight...