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Thread started 04/05/20 8:21pm

alphastreet

In self-isolation :( but need some good laughs

I may have possibly been exposed to covid at work though I had on a mask, so self-isolating. The next few days/weeks may be boring and Iโ€™ll need some good entertainment and lots of laughs! Feel free to post anything!
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Reply #1 posted 04/05/20 9:34pm

purplethunder3
121

avatar

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #2 posted 04/06/20 6:36am

KingBAD

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine.

When the equipment arrived, his wife was out of town,

so he decided to test it on himself first.

He inserted his penis into the the black suction type thing

and then turned the switch on and everything else was automatic.

Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him

with as much pleasure as his wife did.

When the fun was over, he quickly realized that he

couldn't remove the instrument from his penis.

He read the manual but didn't find any useful information.

He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success.

Finally, the farmer decided to call the supplier's

Customer Service Hot Line.

"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company.

It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"

"Don't worry, " replied the customer service rep,

"The machine will release automatically

once it's collected two quarts."

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #3 posted 04/06/20 9:38am

alphastreet

Haha thatโ€™s funny!
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Reply #4 posted 04/06/20 10:35am

S2DG

Where does the Queen keep her army? In her sleevy.

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Reply #5 posted 04/06/20 10:36am

S2DG

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?


Kids won't eat their broccoli.

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Reply #6 posted 04/06/20 10:56am

alphastreet

S2DG said:

Where does the Queen keep her army? In her sleevy.



Hahahaha thatโ€™s cute!
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Reply #7 posted 04/06/20 5:08pm

onlyforaminute

purplethunder3121 said:




lol lol snort lol :fallof:
If you carry the egg basket do not dance.

Do good, then throw it into the sea.
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Reply #8 posted 04/06/20 8:19pm

purplethunder3
121

avatar

A guy was acing his interview

when the employer said "well you look great but I see here there was a 7 year gap since your last job, what happened there?".

The guy says "oh I went to yale".

The employer: "oh great!! Well you're hired, you start Monday"

Guy: "Yay! I got a yob!"

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #9 posted 04/07/20 9:46am

KingBAD

purplethunder3121 said:

A guy was acing his interview

when the employer said "well you look great but I see here there was a 7 year gap since your last job, what happened there?".

The guy says "oh I went to yale".

The employer: "oh great!! Well you're hired, you start Monday"

Guy: "Yay! I got a yob!"

lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #10 posted 04/07/20 9:47am

KingBAD

S2DG said:

Where does the Queen keep her army? In her sleevy.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?


Kids won't eat their broccoli.

lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #11 posted 04/14/20 11:35pm

JoeyC

avatar

I posted this on Facebook. It got some laughs, so, whatever...



He-he. So, being a loner is finally paying off. I'm doing this solitary confinement like a boss. While some of you are ready to stab your spouse in the neck with a rusty nail, and others are one step from dropping the kids off at the local Fire Station(or somebody's front porch), I'm just sitting here, chilling.....just me and the little friends in my head. We do have some interesting conversations...๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜›

SERIOUSLY though, you all stay safe and sane.๐Ÿ™

Rest in Peace Bettie Boo. See u soon.
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Reply #12 posted 04/15/20 1:06am

domainator2010

JoeyC said:

I posted this on Facebook. It got some laughs, so, whatever...



He-he. So, being a loner is finally paying off. I'm doing this solitary confinement like a boss. While some of you are ready to stab your spouse in the neck with a rusty nail, and others are one step from dropping the kids off at the local Fire Station(or somebody's front porch), I'm just sitting here, chilling.....just me and the little friends in my head. We do have some interesting conversations...๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜›

SERIOUSLY though, you all stay safe and sane.๐Ÿ™


What're you Talking about? smile You got (hopefully) high speed INTERNET! (us, video-conferencing or audio chats with whoever you like, and so on....?)

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Reply #13 posted 04/15/20 7:41am

KingBAD

domainator2010 said:

JoeyC said:

I posted this on Facebook. It got some laughs, so, whatever...




What're you Talking about? smile You got (hopefully) high speed INTERNET! (us, video-conferencing or audio chats with whoever you like, and so on....?)

eek eek eek eek eek eek eek

YOU PEOPLE ARE REAL???

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #14 posted 04/15/20 5:51pm

XxAxX

avatar

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Reply #15 posted 04/15/20 5:52pm

XxAxX

avatar

purplethunder3121 said:

A guy was acing his interview

when the employer said "well you look great but I see here there was a 7 year gap since your last job, what happened there?".

The guy says "oh I went to yale".

The employer: "oh great!! Well you're hired, you start Monday"

Guy: "Yay! I got a yob!"



spit

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Reply #16 posted 04/17/20 5:22pm

CherryMoon57

avatar

purplethunder3121 said:

A guy was acing his interview

when the employer said "well you look great but I see here there was a 7 year gap since your last job, what happened there?".

The guy says "oh I went to yale".

The employer: "oh great!! Well you're hired, you start Monday"

Guy: "Yay! I got a yob!"

lol lol lol

Open your heart open your mind
A train is leaving all day
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Reply #17 posted 04/17/20 5:27pm

KingBAD

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #18 posted 04/17/20 6:23pm

alphastreet

Oh yikes, hope I donโ€™t look like that when I stop wearing a mask
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Reply #19 posted 04/18/20 5:50am

KingBAD

alphastreet said:

Oh yikes, hope I donโ€™t look like that when I stop wearing a mask

a lot of people can't accept improvement...

and i'm not a fan of havin imitations of me anyway....

if i knew what you looked like i'm sure i wouldn't have

wanted to look that way ever...

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #20 posted 04/18/20 10:58am

alphastreet

One more day till I get to stop wearing the mask! Thanks for the laughs
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Reply #21 posted 04/22/20 3:45am

ThisOne

Which US state is famous for is extra small soft drinks?????




Mini-soda

smile

Sorry neutral
Art Of.... sour lemon cake lol !!!!!
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Reply #22 posted 04/22/20 7:47am

alphastreet

ThisOne said:

Which US state is famous for is extra small soft drinks?????




Mini-soda

smile

Sorry neutral


This made me laugh lol
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Reply #23 posted 04/23/20 7:21pm

purplethunder3
121

avatar

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #24 posted 04/23/20 7:27pm

purplethunder3
121

avatar

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #25 posted 04/23/20 7:56pm

RJP1205

purplethunder3121 said:


Laughed at this one!
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Reply #26 posted 04/29/20 6:43pm

alphastreet

Feeling kind of sad today cause the client was positive for covid, and another client got it and died sad please pray for them. I got tested for it but am negative thankfully
[Edited 4/29/20 18:43pm]
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Reply #27 posted 05/01/20 8:35am

XxAxX

avatar

spit lol lol lol

purplethunder3121 said:

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Reply #28 posted 05/01/20 8:36am

XxAxX

avatar

sad virus-free virtual hug hug

alphastreet said:

Feeling kind of sad today cause the client was positive for covid, and another client got it and died sad please pray for them. I got tested for it but am negative thankfully [Edited 4/29/20 18:43pm]

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Reply #29 posted 05/01/20 9:42am

alphastreet

XxAxX said:

sad virus-free virtual hug hug






alphastreet said:


Feeling kind of sad today cause the client was positive for covid, and another client got it and died sad please pray for them. I got tested for it but am negative thankfully [Edited 4/29/20 18:43pm]



Aw thank you, Iโ€™m feeling so sad for his family
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