A farmer is sitting on the front porch of his house one hot summer day,

when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire.

"...the more you drink, the better I sound..."

"shutup already. DAMN!!!"

A farmer is sitting on the front porch of his house one hot summer day,

when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of

wire.

"Hey kid!" the farmer says, "Where ya goin' with that wire?"

The kid drawls, "This here ain't just any ol' wire, this here's chicken wire.

I'm fixin' to catch me some chickens!"
"You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!", says the farmer.

"Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road.
He comes back at the end of the day and sure enough,

he's got a whole mess of chickens caught in his chicken wire.
Well, the farmer's sitting on his porch the next day,

and the same kid comes walking down the lane, carrying a big roll of tape. "Hey kid!" the farmer yells, "Where ya goin' with that tape?"

"Well, this here ain't just any ol' tape," says the kid,

"this here's duck tape. I'm fixin' to catch me some ducks!"

"You can't catch ducks with duck tape!" says the farmer.

"Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road.
He comes back at the end of the day and again,

the farmer can't believe his eyes.

The kid has a whole bunch of ducks all wrapped up tightly in his tape.
The next day the farmer's sitting on his porch again,

and the kid comes walking down the road carrying a stick.

"Hey kid!" the farmer says, "where ya goin' with that stick?"

"Well, this here ain't just any old stick," says the kid,

"this here's a pussy willow."

"Hang on," says the farmer,

"ll get my hat!

An old farmer was walking down the path to the pond one day when he came across a frog.

He reached down, picked the frog up, and started to put it in his pocket.

As he did so, the frog said, “Kiss me on the lips and I’ll turn into a beautiful farmers wife.”

The old farmer carried on putting the frog in his pocket.

The frog said, “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

The farmer looked at the frog and said, “At my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”

.

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At election time a coach load of politicians runs off the road and crashes into a field.

When the emergency services arrive the coach is empty and there’s no sign of the passengers.

The farmer is there with his tractor so they asked him what happened to all the politicians.

The farmer said, “I buried them.”

They were taken aback, so they asked, “They were all dead then?”

The farmer said, “Well, some of them said they were alive but you can’t believe anything a politician says can you?”

.

purplethunder3121 said:

An old farmer was walking down the path to the pond one day when he came across a frog.

He reached down, picked the frog up, and started to put it in his pocket.

As he did so, the frog said, “Kiss me on the lips and I’ll turn into a beautiful farmers wife.”

The old farmer carried on putting the frog in his pocket.

The frog said, “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

The farmer looked at the frog and said, “At my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”

.

*******************************************************************

.

At election time a coach load of politicians runs off the road and crashes into a field.

When the emergency services arrive the coach is empty and there’s no sign of the passengers.

The farmer is there with his tractor so they asked him what happened to all the politicians.

The farmer said, “I buried them.”

They were taken aback, so they asked, “They were all dead then?”

The farmer said, “Well, some of them said they were alive but you can’t believe anything a politician says can you?”

.

A kind farmer told the forlorn lad whose load of hay had overturned in the road, to forget his troubles and come in and have dinner with his family. "There will be time enough to clean up the load after a good meal."

The boy demurred; said he didn't think his father would like it. But the farmer persisted and won. After the meal the boy said he felt better and expressed his appreciation for the hospitality. At the same time, he was sure his father would not be happy.

"Nonsense!" said the host. "By the way," he added, "Where is your father?"

"Under the hay," was the response.

XxAxX said:

XxAxX said:

A kind farmer told the forlorn lad whose load of hay had overturned in the road, to forget his troubles and come in and have dinner with his family. "There will be time enough to clean up the load after a good meal."

The boy demurred; said he didn't think his father would like it. But the farmer persisted and won. After the meal the boy said he felt better and expressed his appreciation for the hospitality. At the same time, he was sure his father would not be happy.

"Nonsense!" said the host. "By the way," he added, "Where is your father?"

"Under the hay," was the response.

XxAxX said:

Rename ding dongs king dongs.