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Thread started 02/22/20 6:26pm

alphastreet

Have you had a one-sided, long time crush?

I’ve liked a guy since last May and we’ve talked several times and know a lot of the same people at church, but we haven’t exchanged contact info yet. The next time I see him, I want to ask him for coffee, but also feel worried he may not like me back though he always looks happy to see me, just hasn’t asked the question yet

Have you ever been in that situation and how did you deal with it? I tried going on a blind date with another guy in attempt to try to move on just in case, and he was very respectful, but he wasn’t him and I felt nothing haha
[Edited 2/22/20 18:27pm]
[Edited 2/22/20 18:34pm]
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Reply #1 posted 02/22/20 8:28pm

RJP1205

Life is short, give it a shot!!
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Reply #2 posted 02/22/20 8:46pm

alphastreet

RJP1205 said:

Life is short, give it a shot!!


Really want to, but I haven’t seen him in a couple of months. The only other way I think I would see him is at our friends birthday party in a few months if she has one and I could talk to him there
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Reply #3 posted 02/23/20 8:48am

Germanegro

alphastreet said:

RJP1205 said:

Life is short, give it a shot!!


Really want to, but I haven’t seen him in a couple of months. The only other way I think I would see him is at our friends birthday party in a few months if she has one and I could talk to him there

^
Just go for it like the positive confident person that we all need to be. And if you're not, hey, fake it 'till u make it. Like it has been said, life is truly short and you have to "go for yours!"
thumbs up! guitar
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Reply #4 posted 02/23/20 9:13am

alphastreet

Germanegro said:

alphastreet said:



Really want to, but I haven’t seen him in a couple of months. The only other way I think I would see him is at our friends birthday party in a few months if she has one and I could talk to him there

^
Just go for it like the positive confident person that we all need to be. And if you're not, hey, fake it 'till u make it. Like it has been said, life is truly short and you have to "go for yours!"
thumbs up! guitar


Yeah totally will ask him, though I hope something good comes out of it. So far we both like what the other does for work so feel that’s a good start. Also, I don’t feel like I’m getting younger and want companionship
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Reply #5 posted 02/24/20 8:20am

RJOrion

since LAST MAY??... if you wait too long youll end up relegated permanently to the "friend-zone"...shoot your shot...you cant score if you dont shoot.😎
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Reply #6 posted 02/24/20 11:18am

alphastreet

RJOrion said:

since LAST MAY??... if you wait too long youll end up relegated permanently to the "friend-zone"...shoot your shot...you cant score if you dont shoot.😎


True, but we only saw each other few times since. I’m definitely going to ask next time we see each other
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Reply #7 posted 02/24/20 1:35pm

PeggyO

Probably best to make the first move...at least you will know where you stand and you'll be able to move in one direction or another instead of being in suspended animation.

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Reply #8 posted 02/24/20 1:52pm

RJOrion

if all else fails, do like Lizzo... show them naked cheeks and get to twerking... that's how you get a man's attention in 2020... or so ive heard/seen.
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Reply #9 posted 02/24/20 4:56pm

alphastreet

Not about to pull a Lizzo lol
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Reply #10 posted 02/25/20 10:44pm

Ace

avatar

alphastreet said:

I’ve liked a guy since last May and we’ve talked several times and know a lot of the same people at church, but we haven’t exchanged contact info yet. The next time I see him, I want to ask him for coffee, but also feel worried he may not like me back though he always looks happy to see me, just hasn’t asked the question yet Have you ever been in that situation and how did you deal with it? I tried going on a blind date with another guy in attempt to try to move on just in case, and he was very respectful, but he wasn’t him and I felt nothing haha [Edited 2/22/20 18:27pm]


I think pretty much everyone's had a "one-sided, long-time crush" at some point or other. Luckily, I don't have to worry about this stuff anymore.


While I cannot endorse this whole "love" business, here's my advice:


Ask him out directly (e.g. "I'd like to take you out on a date.")

If he's interested, he'll respond enthusiastically and start making plans with you there and then.

If he's not, you've got your answer and you can move on (preferably to a life-long love affair with yourself, where you're responsible for your own happiness).

People'll come and go througout your life (whether's it due to conflict, boredom, the-grass-is-always greener syndrome, or death). But you'll always have you. Don't tell yourself that you need someone else to be happy.

heart

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #11 posted 02/26/20 6:55am

MadSwan

avatar

Oh, everybody faced such a situation, IMO. It's a big deal to you now, I understand. That's why the need to ask a simple question about the date makes you nervous. But if you won't ask, you'll never know. Maybe this guy is just shy. Or perhaps he isn't interested, but it's ok too. If that's so, you'll be upset, but you'll move on. Just do it! Good luck! biggrin

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Reply #12 posted 02/26/20 10:09am

alphastreet

Ace said:



alphastreet said:


I’ve liked a guy since last May and we’ve talked several times and know a lot of the same people at church, but we haven’t exchanged contact info yet. The next time I see him, I want to ask him for coffee, but also feel worried he may not like me back though he always looks happy to see me, just hasn’t asked the question yet Have you ever been in that situation and how did you deal with it? I tried going on a blind date with another guy in attempt to try to move on just in case, and he was very respectful, but he wasn’t him and I felt nothing haha [Edited 2/22/20 18:27pm]


I think pretty much everyone's had a "one-sided, long-time crush" at some point or other. Luckily, I don't have to worry about this stuff anymore.



While I cannot endorse this whole "love" business, here's my advice:



Ask him out directly (e.g. "I'd like to take you out on a date.")

If he's interested, he'll respond enthusiastically and start making plans with you there and then.

If he's not, you've got your answer and you can move on (preferably to a life-long love affair with yourself, where you're responsible for your own happiness).


People'll come and go througout your life (whether's it due to conflict, boredom, the-grass-is-always greener syndrome, or death). But you'll always have you. Don't tell yourself that you need someone else to be happy.

heart



Thanks for the advice! And so true I have myself through all this as well.
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Reply #13 posted 02/26/20 12:01pm

Ace

avatar

alphastreet said:

Ace said:


I think pretty much everyone's had a "one-sided, long-time crush" at some point or other. Luckily, I don't have to worry about this stuff anymore.


While I cannot endorse this whole "love" business, here's my advice:


Ask him out directly (e.g. "I'd like to take you out on a date.")

If he's interested, he'll respond enthusiastically and start making plans with you there and then.

If he's not, you've got your answer and you can move on (preferably to a life-long love affair with yourself, where you're responsible for your own happiness).

People'll come and go througout your life (whether's it due to conflict, boredom, the-grass-is-always greener syndrome, or death). But you'll always have you. Don't tell yourself that you need someone else to be happy.

heart

Thanks for the advice! And so true I have myself through all this as well.


hug

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #14 posted 02/27/20 12:31pm

coldcoffeeandc
ocacola

Yes my one sided crush never worked out, Prince never fell for me!

May is a long time and you should ask him, I don’t think anything too formal. Ask him if he wants to grab a coffee or some lunch after church? If he says I can’t today but maybe next time if he’s interested he’ll follow you up. If he says I have to meet my girlfriend then that’s an awkward ten seconds of your life but then you smile and leave and avoid eye contact for the next few weeks! If he says yes I’d love to - there you go. Best of luck!
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Reply #15 posted 02/27/20 12:45pm

coldcoffeeandc
ocacola

Years before I met my husband, I was out on a horrible date. The guys parents both snorted coke off the dining room table when he popped in to get his coat and I am very anti drugs. I only went as I didn’t want to be rude and say no (self worth learnt now!) and so I find myself sitting in a restaurant with this bloke who is trying to get me drunk and to my mind seemed a bit high. I got up and went to the toilet - gave the server my half of the bill and asked to leave out the kitchen door. They weren’t a huge fan of this because hygiene but they got it. I did a runner into the alley, got on the first bus I could see and turned off my phone. As id only had a starter I was hungry so after quite a way got off at a pizzeria, asked to borrow a ladies phone and called my friend to get me. The lady had heard me telling my friend what happened, asked me to sit with her and her date and told me *she had liked him for ages and asked him out after church* - it turned out (this is the exciting bit) they’d married a few months before. So in a long way round this is why I think you should go for it. Who knows where life leads!
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Reply #16 posted 02/27/20 1:03pm

alphastreet

Thanks for sharing your experiences! Good thing you got away from that one guy. My biggest worry now is that I won’t see him for awhile cause it’s been 2 months since I last did and hope I see him again, but will absolutely ask
[Edited 2/27/20 13:14pm]
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Reply #17 posted 02/27/20 3:15pm

coldcoffeeandc
ocacola

alphastreet said:

Thanks for sharing your experiences! Good thing you got away from that one guy. My biggest worry now is that I won’t see him for awhile cause it’s been 2 months since I last did and hope I see him again, but will absolutely ask
[Edited 2/27/20 13:14pm]


Why don’t you ask around some mutual friends? Or see if he is on their social media. Might give you an idea if you’d click from his interests and if he’s single
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Reply #18 posted 02/27/20 3:18pm

alphastreet

coldcoffeeandcocacola said:

alphastreet said:

Thanks for sharing your experiences! Good thing you got away from that one guy. My biggest worry now is that I won’t see him for awhile cause it’s been 2 months since I last did and hope I see him again, but will absolutely ask
[Edited 2/27/20 13:14pm]


Why don’t you ask around some mutual friends? Or see if he is on their social media. Might give you an idea if you’d click from his interests and if he’s single


He said he doesn’t use Facebook when I asked him if he has it, and I’m worried that getting others involved would make it awkward when I want to make it an easy process of asking
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Reply #19 posted 02/29/20 6:33am

2freaky4church
1

avatar

Rodeo, but he left me.

All you others say Hell Yea!! woot!
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Reply #20 posted 02/29/20 8:32am

alphastreet

2freaky4church1 said:

Rodeo, but he left me.



Aw too bad, he is definitely missed
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Reply #21 posted 02/29/20 3:14pm

S2DG

I've had a couple of these and if I had them all over to do again I would have just flat out asked them if I was their type or what they thought about it.

While I enjoyed the flirt dance it was a huge waste of my energy and thoughts. If they say that something could be a possibility then the flirt dance moves with a purpose. Life is too short.

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