The best way to get over someone, is to immediately get under someone else.

Pokeno4Money said:

ThatWhiteDude said:

Dude, Wtf?? He's actually trying to get serious Tipps.

I was totally being serious. It is much, MUCH more difficult to move on by yourself. Finding someone else, even if just short term, helps you focus on something (someone) other than your ex. It's a mindgame more than anything, just like work helps take your mind off your ex during the day. Gotta find something (or someone) to prevent being preoccupied by your ex.

No need to criticize other people's advice just because you haven't applied it in the past, this isn't a contest here.

Pokeno4Money said:

ThatWhiteDude said:

Then I'm sorry, it looked like you were trying to make a bad joke

Thank you. FTR I typically don't joke, my humour isn't very good. Ironically the exact opposite tends to happen when I'm joking, as people then tend to think I'm serious. Then I get in trouble for it. LOL

Happy New Year to you dude.

AvocadosMax said:

I think this is ok to post this here. Mentally i’m just exhausted and can’t focus. Never been hurt like this Backstory: the past 4 weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I have anxiety and depression issues as it is. Anyways, this girl I’ve been dating; her and i had a bit of an argument on the 4th of December. By the end of the night, i said sorry, she said it wasn’t my fault and told me sorry for lack of communication. Thought everything was ok. When I dropped her off she said she wanted to continue dating. Until like maybe 2 days later or so she calls me and says “Avocado (just using my org name), i just think i should be single atm” Obviously i got upset. We didn’t talk until two days later when we saw each other at work (both work in a grocery store). I gave her the eyes and made her laugh like usual. She wanted to go to Walmart after work and we got off at the same time so I said “tell ya dad i’ll take ya” And so we ate Chick Fil A in the parking lot, she got what she wanted there, then we kissed, made-out. So i thought everything was starting up again 3 or so days later, she posts that she’s “single” on her story. So i was heartbroken as i was right there because i thought things were ok and apparently they weren’t. She later said it was ‘just a joke’ She eventually starting talking again, and I asked if we were ‘talking-talking’ and she said yes So back n forth leading up to Christmas. I got her a gift anyways. On Christmas day, she posts she got a “promise ring” from a guy and I didn’t give her that. Later find out it was from her toxic ex and ig they’re back together now It just kills me how after that night of drama, led to all of this. I thought everything was ok. I stated where I was wrong. Idk maybe this would have still happened if that drama never happened. But yeah this really hurt me. I did feel i loved her, but i might have just loved how she loved me. Idk it just hurts. “Do Yourself a Favor” and “Another Love” is what been helping but thats wearing off.

Okay AvocadosMax (always loved your ID, now it makes more sense), first things first. because SUCKS!

Pointing out that you got a double whammy here because it happened during the "Holidays" - which are loaded with beaucoup "Happiness" baggage.

It is perfectly OK to be standing in front of the frig with no pants on, eating cold pizza and ice cream, swigging wine from the bottle and smoking pot (or whatever your equivalent is). But don't drive while you're doing it, and don't allow it to go on too long. When in doubt, take a shower and regroup.

As others have suggested, do good things for YOURSELF, but taking up an entirely new endeavor may result in your hating that "hobby" for the rest of your life when this blows over. (Such as ballroom dancing or aerobics from my generation). I suggest you do more of what you know you already like that makes you feel good.

It is very possible that the ex felt his old love having feelings for someone else and needed to reel her back in with a "promise ring" ugh, (again, holidays). The fact that she wasn't straightforward with you about getting back with him is telling (but how)?

I'm saying she may boomerang back to you, there's a really good chance, imo. Second tries don't always pan out, there was a reason why it didn't work the first time. Consider what you would do if she comes back, and how to continue with her if it does - what U need in a relationship. Try to think of some personal guidelines beforehand.

Still, be open to at least talking to other single people, for companionship and perspective if nothing else. Bar trivia night - whatever.

poppys said:

You are young and are still figuring yourself out and so is she. What you think is love will also change with life experience. There's some good advice here so just take care of yourself.

With all that said, fuck that bitch, it's her loss.

Always listen to Prince.

AvocadosMax said:

poppys said:

Okay AvocadosMax (always loved your ID, now it makes more sense), first things first. because SUCKS!...

Thank you. I’ve been drinking alcohol. Not a whole lot, but enough to make me feel bloated. Forgot how much i HATE feeling that way. Lol gotta look good, gotta feel good. So imma keep my distance from that. I’m addicted to obsessions but some how my obsessions are always pointless things. Starting right now i want my obsession to be going for my dreams (writing, acting in movies), and my health/body.

Writing is always good. Even random stream of conciousness writing. Sometimes gems can some out of that. And acting gets you out of yourself, acting classes are fun too. Improv gets you up on stage with other people. Something to look forward to. Good Luck!!!

Allow yourself all the feelings you feel. Grieve however you need to. But don't take it out on yourself, or run yourself down.

After a little time, take stock of the good and the bad things about her, and the good and bad things you both did in the relationship. See if you recognize certain patterns.

I haven't been your age in some time. But my experience is that it can be hard to be in love in our early 20s, because we're so indecisive and inexperienced with true love and intimacy.

Don't strain yourself to win her back. It's a natural impulse, but no amount of kindness, good deeds, notes, poetry, playlists, or whatever will make her love you like that.

And do good things for yourself.

IMO, it all depends on where you are spiritually and whether or not you know your worth. 3+ years ago, I ended a 25 year highly dysfuctional relationship. Prior to that, I was such a mess, I wouldn't have survived the breakup, literally, not survived it. But, I had evolved quite a bit as a man when I decided enough was enough and I had the strength to walk away from someone I had given my all to for 25 years who had zero loyalty to me. One of the best decisions I have ever made. Sure! I was heart broken. You just don't walk away from something like that without feeling hurt and disappointed. But, life goes on. You will make it through.

Very well said Kitbradley!

By the way AvocadosMax if we were in your town our Live performance would help you get over that:

https://www.facebook.com/SonofPrince777

Honestly hang out with your friends and find somebody else.

AvocadosMax said:

But before then everything was cool. We were great dating. She was really into me

No she wasn't.

namepeace said:

Allow yourself all the feelings you feel. Grieve however you need to. But don't take it out on yourself, or run yourself down.

After a little time, take stock of the good and the bad things about her, and the good and bad things you both did in the relationship. See if you recognize certain patterns.

I haven't been your age in some time. But my experience is that it can be hard to be in love in our early 20s, because we're so indecisive and inexperienced with true love and intimacy.

Don't strain yourself to win her back. It's a natural impulse, but no amount of kindness, good deeds, notes, poetry, playlists, or whatever will make her love you like that.

And do good things for yourself.

best advice u can do

jfenster said:

namepeace said:

Allow yourself all the feelings you feel. Grieve however you need to. But don't take it out on yourself, or run yourself down.

After a little time, take stock of the good and the bad things about her, and the good and bad things you both did in the relationship. See if you recognize certain patterns.

I haven't been your age in some time. But my experience is that it can be hard to be in love in our early 20s, because we're so indecisive and inexperienced with true love and intimacy.

Don't strain yourself to win her back. It's a natural impulse, but no amount of kindness, good deeds, notes, poetry, playlists, or whatever will make her love you like that.

And do good things for yourself.

best advice u can do

some of us learned the hard way . . .

PRNelson said:

I think it is considered useful to set goals - however small. For instance, a goal may be to clean your house. Go for a jog, learn a new skill. When you feel depressed you shut down. Trying to give yourself and your life some structure and purpose is difficult during times like this but it can be the best thing you ever did in trying to get to a healthier mind set. Depression often shuts us down.. it makes us not want to do anything. In complying with this, we feed it. Make a list, what could you be doing right now? You could make it happen.

Very sound advice indeed.