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Forums > General Discussion > Where's the Friday joke thread? 😭😭😭
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Reply #60 posted 11/22/19 6:40am

S2DG

avatar

Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

A hippo is big and heavy and a zippo is a little lighter.

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Reply #61 posted 11/22/19 9:11am

EmmaMcG

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People today are so judgemental.

I can tell just by looking at them.
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Reply #62 posted 11/22/19 10:23am

mELdOURADOsELV
AGEM

EmmaMcG said:

People today are so judgemental.

I can tell just by looking at them.

🀣

And that sounds like me πŸ˜ΆπŸ‘€
mushy
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Reply #63 posted 11/22/19 6:51pm

barnswallow

Riddle masquerading as a joke:

.

What's round as an apple?

.

Flat as a chip?

.

Has two eyes?

.

But can't see a bit!?

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Reply #64 posted 11/22/19 7:29pm

mELdOURADOsELV
AGEM

Can February March?

No. But April May.

boo
mushy
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Reply #65 posted 11/23/19 4:32am

KingBAD

S2DG said:

Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench, and a man in a trench coat walked over and flashed them! Two of the little old ladies immediately had a stroke, but the third one didn't want to touch it.

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #66 posted 11/23/19 6:59am

EmmaMcG

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I arrived early at the restaurant. "Do you mind waiting a bit", the manager asked.

"Not at all", I said.

"Good. Take this pizza to table 6", he said.
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Reply #67 posted 11/23/19 8:15am

mELdOURADOsELV
AGEM

Haha it took me a couple seconds and I had to read it again, but finally... 🀣

former waitress here πŸ˜‚
mushy
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Reply #68 posted 11/23/19 9:16am

purplethunder3
121

avatar

Where does a waitress with one leg work?

IHop.

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #69 posted 11/23/19 9:16am

purplethunder3
121

avatar

A guy in a restaurant stops a pretty blonde waitress as she passes by his table...

"Excuse me, Miss. Can I ask you a question about the menu, please?"

She throws a drink in his face. "The men I please are none of your damn business!"

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #70 posted 11/23/19 3:35pm

mELdOURADOsELV
AGEM

πŸ˜‚πŸ€£
mushy
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Reply #71 posted 11/23/19 3:36pm

mELdOURADOsELV
AGEM

barnswallow said:

Riddle masquerading as a joke:


.


What's round as an apple?


.


Flat as a chip?


.


Has two eyes?


.


But can't see a bit!?


I give up! What is it? πŸ˜„




.
[Edited 11/23/19 15:36pm]
mushy
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Reply #72 posted 11/23/19 6:27pm

barnswallow

mELdOURADOsELVAGEM said:

barnswallow said:

Riddle masquerading as a joke:

.

What's round as an apple?

.

Flat as a chip?

.

Has two eyes?

.

But can't see a bit!?

I give up! What is it? πŸ˜„ . [Edited 11/23/19 15:36pm]

It's very simple. "This funk ain't goin' no place cuz it's old, it's old and sexy Cloreen Bacon Skin." That line gets me. Mysterious. This riddle feels that way.

*

I heard it from two spinster sisters, Idie and Harriet, who looked after the calves at a small, family-owned dairy farm, now some time ago.

*

They wore simple cotton frocks, winter or summer, with aprons. And rubber boots. And, by the time I came to know them, were quite bent over. Harriet was always out front, taking the lead, and Idie followed behind, usually complaining about something or other. But, they both had a twinkle in their eyes and laughed a lot and liked to tell stories. In the winter, they'd throw a jacket over their cotton shifts.

*

In the summer, a man travelled the country-side whitewashing the interiors of the barns. He would always say Idie and Harriet were legends for how they looked after the calves. They'd confer with each other in the milk-house, mixing milk replacer with warm water and fresh milk. They'd feel the temperature of the water, over and over, until they agreed that it was just right.

*

They told me this riddle one day, so I've always loved it. It took me most of a day (or was it two?) and finally I came upon it: a button.

*

I've loved all the jokes posted here. Hilarious. And clever.

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Reply #73 posted 11/24/19 1:51pm

mELdOURADOsELV
AGEM

barnswallow said:



mELdOURADOsELVAGEM said:


barnswallow said:

Riddle masquerading as a joke:


.


What's round as an apple?


.


Flat as a chip?


.


Has two eyes?


.


But can't see a bit!?



I give up! What is it? πŸ˜„ . [Edited 11/23/19 15:36pm]

It's very simple. "This funk ain't goin' no place cuz it's old, it's old and sexy Cloreen Bacon Skin." That line gets me. Mysterious. This riddle feels that way.


*


I heard it from two spinster sisters, Idie and Harriet, who looked after the calves at a small, family-owned dairy farm, now some time ago.


*


They wore simple cotton frocks, winter or summer, with aprons. And rubber boots. And, by the time I came to know them, were quite bent over. Harriet was always out front, taking the lead, and Idie followed behind, usually complaining about something or other. But, they both had a twinkle in their eyes and laughed a lot and liked to tell stories. In the winter, they'd throw a jacket over their cotton shifts.


*


In the summer, a man travelled the country-side whitewashing the interiors of the barns. He would always say Idie and Harriet were legends for how they looked after the calves. They'd confer with each other in the milk-house, mixing milk replacer with warm water and fresh milk. They'd feel the temperature of the water, over and over, until they agreed that it was just right.


*


They told me this riddle one day, so I've always loved it. It took me most of a day (or was it two?) and finally I came upon it: a button.


*


I've loved all the jokes posted here. Hilarious. And clever.


Cute story 😊

And yes, love the jokes!! 😁
mushy
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Forums > General Discussion > Where's the Friday joke thread? 😭😭😭