"move your big ass 'round this way so I can work on that zipper, baby..."

One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny,

said to his wife,
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'.
Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused,

and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
'What the Hell is this?'
he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April', he hollered into the bathroom,
'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?'
She replied with a snicker.
'It's not talcum powder;

it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!

"who asked your ugly ass what time it was? Nobody! We're doin' fine!"

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.

As he settled in,

he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat...

As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out,

"Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said,

"Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston"
He swallowed hard.

Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him,

and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,

"What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded.

"I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences

to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"
"Well," she explained,

"one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men,
when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you.

I don't even know your name.."

"Tonto," the man said,

"Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."...

The first joke was good but the second one was great......I literally laughed out loud.

KoolEaze said:

The first joke was good but the second one was great......I literally laughed out loud.

Thanks for the Friday funnies!

A wife told her husband, "You know, I think I'd like to get a boob job. What do you think of that?"

"Great!" the husband exclaimed. "Except, we don't have the money for that. But there's a way to do it for free". He went to the bathroom and came out with a handful of toilet paper. "Here, rub this on your tits every day for a few months".

"How is rubbing toilet paper on my tits going to make them grow?" asked his wife.

"I don't know, but it worked wonders on your ass!"

KingBAD said:

"move your big ass 'round this way so I can work on that zipper, baby..."

One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny,

said to his wife,
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'.
Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused,

and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
'What the Hell is this?'
he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April', he hollered into the bathroom,
'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?'
She replied with a snicker.
'It's not talcum powder;

it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!

RodeoSchro said:

A wife told her husband, "You know, I think I'd like to get a boob job. What do you think of that?"

"Great!" the husband exclaimed. "Except, we don't have the money for that. But there's a way to do it for free". He went to the bathroom and came out with a handful of toilet paper. "Here, rub this on your tits every day for a few months".

"How is rubbing toilet paper on my tits going to make them grow?" asked his wife.

"I don't know, but it worked wonders on your ass!"

that's naughty

XxAxX said:

that's naughty

yeah Rodeo

OldFriends4Sale said: