a blind guy was sittin in a bar

when he yelled out

"Hey bartender... you wanna here a blonde joke???"

very quiet like the dude next to him says

"before you tell that joke you should know somethin,

the bartender is a blonde and the bouncer is blonde...

i'm a 6' 200 pound black belt. the guy sittin next to you

is 6'2" and weighs a good 230, he plays rugby

his homie is a 300 pound wrestler AND

we're all blondes...

think about it mister. do you still wanna tell that joke???"

blind dude says

"Nah... LOOK HOW MANY TIMES I'D HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT!!!"

EmmaMcG said:

We're not ALL dumb, you know. Having said that... If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building at the exact same time, who would hit the ground first? The brunette. Because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

"now that i'm free i let the wind blow me"

what song is that from? i can't remember it, for the life of me

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are making love. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

[Edited 6/30/19 8:23am]

XxAxX said:

A friend told the blond: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond then said, "Let 's hope it 's not the 13th."
------------------------------------

Two blondes find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We 'll lie and say we only found two."
------------------------------------

A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are making love. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke 's on all of you because I wasn 't even at home yesterday."
------------------------------------

A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"

He answers, "Yes, but I 'm not sure what to do... it 's for dry hair, and I 've just wet mine."
------------------------------

A blond goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it 's got epilepsy," she tells the vet.

The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."

The blond says, "Wait, I haven 't taken it out of the bowl yet."
------------------------------------

A blond spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". She spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------------

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
------------------------------------

A blonde was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly she has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls her over, so she tells the cop about all the trees in the road.

The cop says, "That 's your air freshener swinging about!"
------------------------------------

A blonde man 's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says "Why don 't you put an ad in the paper?"

He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.

"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.

"Here boy!" he replies.
------------------------------------

[Edited 6/30/19 8:23am]

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

KingBAD said:

XxAxX said:

A friend told the blond: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond then said, "Let 's hope it 's not the 13th."
------------------------------------

Two blondes find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We 'll lie and say we only found two."
------------------------------------

A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are making love. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke 's on all of you because I wasn 't even at home yesterday."
------------------------------------

A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"

He answers, "Yes, but I 'm not sure what to do... it 's for dry hair, and I 've just wet mine."
------------------------------

A blond goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it 's got epilepsy," she tells the vet.

The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."

The blond says, "Wait, I haven 't taken it out of the bowl yet."
------------------------------------

A blond spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". She spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------------

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
------------------------------------

A blonde was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly she has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls her over, so she tells the cop about all the trees in the road.

The cop says, "That 's your air freshener swinging about!"
------------------------------------

A blonde man 's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says "Why don 't you put an ad in the paper?"

He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.

"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.

"Here boy!" he replies.
------------------------------------

[Edited 6/30/19 8:23am]

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

Good one.