Author | Message |
Ooooooo... you can't say that in public!!! when i was comin up i was kinda spoiled in that i got what i wanted just because... when i started havin girlfriends in school i didn't need pickup lines... when i became a teen i didn't need one BUT i decided that if i was gonna hang out with others i was gonna have to go through the pickup line thing like erbody else So i tried to find out what was the worse thing i could say and still get the girl... BUT LOOK AT THESE!!!! oh what an asshole i coulda been armed with these babies...
PICKUP LINES (or a hunnit one ways to be an asshole) Then you'd better get back to it before the farmer notices you're gone. Are you a tree? At least long enough to get you back to the ocean. I could really use the money. just by looking at her, and for you it's a diet coke. because you make me want to cry. Because I'm seeing someone behind your back. I don't know. About ten pounds less than you. because I have no interest in doing you. just to tell you how beautiful you are? They must have been much drunker than I am. Why, because I swept you off your feet? No, because you're really hairy. Because you look inbred. Because you need to leave me a loan. I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you. but I just won't do it. Because you turn my hardware into software. Because it looks like you landed on your face. Because you're always wrong. Not perfect, but good enough. Because I'm feeling no connection here. I'm gonna throw it away. Yeah, sure. Great, then I can sit there. your cereal in the morning... Why, because I'm so sweet? No, because you're fat as hell. No, because I wanted to check how I look before I hit on your hot friend. For driving guys like you crazy? No, because you're a woman so I assume you're a horrible driver. Why, because I blew you away? No, because you smell like sh*t. Why, because I'm made in heaven? No, because your sweating profusely through your armpits and I want to avoid purchasing this fabric in the future. Why, because I give you wood? No, because you have masculine forearms and you're wearing Wranglers jeans. So you can check me out? No, because my cat just died and I need to find a book about cat funerals. because you light up my life. Because I'm stalking you. You're small, cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight. I know how to insert tampons. than you do through my telescope. Let me hold them for you. so why don't you drop dead and I'll think about it. In a romantic way. I've got a gallon of lube and all the Shrek movies on blu-ray. Do you want to be in the first video? so I can be breast-fed by you. after I destroy Uranus. so I can be with you every step of the way. a month from now? the sweetest smile while you're asleep. Wanna freshen your breath? If I were your Dad, I'd be in prison. because I want to be inside you for the next 9 months.
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT... STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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Thanks. I'll try some out on my wife tonight. | |
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"you can't sing what you're singing & then go pickin' a brotha's pocket!"
and you can finish up by tellin her to calm down, she's over reactin... get back at me and let me know how that worked out.... i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT... STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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