But I probably won't come up with anything more clever, so...yeah.

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The captain of a cargo ship was approached by some crewmen. "Captain," said one. "We can't eat these potatoes. They all look like penises!" The captain said, "You're going to eat them, and you're going to like them. What do you think this ship is - a democracy?"

"Well, yes - we do think we get a vote on things," said the crewman.

"You do not!" said the captain. "This is not a democracy, this is a Dick-Tator-Ship!"

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What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle?

Wipe it off quickly and say, "I'm sorry".


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What did Donald Trump say when asked how to respond to Hurricane Florence?

"Pay her the same as Stormy Daniels!"


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Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.

She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."

The first student raised her hand to volunteer.

"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first."

Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."

The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"

Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."

"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.

Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..."

Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.

Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.

Johnny said, "My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."

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How do you get off an elephant?

I am not sure but you'll want some gloves and a face mask.

RodeoSchro said:

But I probably won't come up with anything more clever, so...yeah.

*********************************************************************

The captain of a cargo ship was approached by some crewmen. "Captain," said one. "We can't eat these potatoes. They all look like penises!" The captain said, "You're going to eat them, and you're going to like them. What do you think this ship is - a democracy?"

"Well, yes - we do think we get a vote on things," said the crewman.

"You do not!" said the captain. "This is not a democracy, this is a Dick-Tator-Ship!"

*********************************************************************

What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle?

Wipe it off quickly and say, "I'm sorry".


*********************************************************************

What did Donald Trump say when asked how to respond to Hurricane Florence?

"Pay her the same as Stormy Daniels!"


*********************************************************************

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.

She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."

The first student raised her hand to volunteer.

"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first."

Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."

The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"

Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."

"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.

Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..."

Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.

Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.

Johnny said, "My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."

*********************************************************************

"My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."

"get up bitch, you be layin' on my guitar! NASTY BITCH!"

A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that l8 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."

purplethunder3121 said:

A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that l8 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."