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PrintableI'm sorry for the outburst but it is a very touchy subject. 
Anyway to answer your original question, I like my workout pants the best. Fashionable yet practical. [This message was edited Mon Apr 21 19:26:23 PDT 2003 by NovaAngel] "I ordered no broth! Away with ye lest my cane find your backside!!"- Ralph Wiggum, Actor. | |
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Aannastesia said: Perry said: mcmeekle said: Perry said: I'm glad to see that One Person is making an effort to take this thread Seriously. Thank you SuprC. Darker colors always hide more.
I have a serious question for you. I'm wanting to buy my wife a scarf for her birthday. She doesn't have any scarves at present, so I'm not sure what type/style she prefers. Can you suggest anything? What is in vogue at the moment? Knowing her, I wouldn't want anything with a nautical motif, nor too floral a pattern.And something that's suitable for tying her to the bed will also be an advantage. Thanks. That's not really a serious question is it? And I am not one to take ofense at your humor, the part about the tyig your wife to bed. I assume you meant that as a joke? What kind of man would tie his wife to the bed? Is that the only way she'll go there?? My kinda man ties his wife to the bed... it is quite erotic to be tied helpless and pleasured!!! 
Not the only way I'd go... just the way I prefer to go!!! Damn you are one uptight sob!!! 
...thought ya knew!!...  ... Mr. Ellis Dee-licious, the Official NPGigolo 
Candy Dulfer is my boo...  | |
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MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me  bastards...  ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket...  ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole...  ... Mr. Ellis Dee-licious, the Official NPGigolo
Candy Dulfer is my boo... | |
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Oh My God!!! This is the funniest thread I've ever seen!!! | |
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EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? | |
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MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal?  Phucking the ocean. That means you probably got barnacles on your shit. :LOL: | |
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Perry said: That is not a proper Fashion question. I thik you could solve this problem at your local Church. They will have extra clothing for people who can't afford their own or maybe one of the Congregation will have a pair.
YOU SAID THIS WASN'T ABOUT SEX!!! POTTY MOUTH I AM King BAD a.k.a. BAD,
YOU EITHER WANNA BE ME, OR BE JUST LIKE ME  ™ | |
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SuperC said: Phucking the ocean. That means you probably got barnacles on your shit. :LOL: ... and a pimple on my ass... NOT havin' a good day  | |
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00769BAD said: Perry said: That is not a proper Fashion question. I thik you could solve this problem at your local Church. They will have extra clothing for people who can't afford their own or maybe one of the Congregation will have a pair.
YOU SAID THIS WASN'T ABOUT SEX!!! POTTY MOUTH 
...thought ya knew!!...  life Sexy u all | |
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MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass hole in my bed and floor... ...
wholey edit... ...[This message was edited Mon Apr 21 19:57:56 PDT 2003 by EllisDee] Mr. Ellis Dee-licious, the Official NPGigolo
Candy Dulfer is my boo... | |
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EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night  | |
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MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night i can't sleep on my side anymore either... last thursday, i slept on my side and i speared 12 of the people in my neighborhood... now i'm on trial for mass murder... ... Mr. Ellis Dee-licious, the Official NPGigolo
Candy Dulfer is my boo... | |
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EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night i can't sleep on my side anymore either... last thursday, i slept on my side and i speared 12 of the people in my neighborhood... now i'm on trial for mass murder... ...that's why i moved to the country  ... occasionally some cows will bump into it... but it's the lesser of two evils
. [This message was edited Mon Apr 21 20:09:18 PDT 2003 by MrBliss] | |
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MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night i can't sleep on my side anymore either... last thursday, i slept on my side and i speared 12 of the people in my neighborhood... now i'm on trial for mass murder... ...that's why i moved to the country ... occasionally some cows will bump into it... but it's the lesser of two evils
. [This message was edited Mon Apr 21 20:09:18 PDT 2003 by MrBliss] i tried living in the country once, but i woke up and a horse was licking it because he thought it was a salt-lick or something... ...
that's the only time that i've awaken to a tongue on my dick and it been a baaad thing...  ... Mr. Ellis Dee-licious, the Official NPGigolo
Candy Dulfer is my boo... | |
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It's perfectly all right with me if you want to keep making jokes about sex and talking about how large your penises are.
Perhaps when you're tired of doing that kind of thing you will contribute something meaningful to This Thread. | |
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Perry said:Well, since you put it that way I do have a sugestion. Perhaps you could wear an Arab robe of some kind, so that Anything Underneath it would be completely concealed. Or, maybe a kind of Baggy pants. If you act a genitlman, you will soon see that ladies will look you in the eye, and not any lower.
a genitalman? 
Looks like someone's tried to sneak in a sexual innuendo under the radar.  "I ordered no broth! Away with ye lest my cane find your backside!!"- Ralph Wiggum, Actor. | |
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EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night i can't sleep on my side anymore either... last thursday, i slept on my side and i speared 12 of the people in my neighborhood... now i'm on trial for mass murder... ...that's why i moved to the country ... occasionally some cows will bump into it... but it's the lesser of two evils
. [This message was edited Mon Apr 21 20:09:18 PDT 2003 by MrBliss] i tried living in the country once, but i woke up and a horse was licking it because he thought it was a salt-lick or something... ...
that's the only time that i've awaken to a tongue on my dick and it been a baaad thing... ...i can see how you would find that disturbing but you know what's the most difficult part for me... it's living with the guilt ... it's time i confessed...my dick sank the titanic .. oh the shame! | |
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SuperC said: I want a pair of pants that doesn't make my dick look so big. What brand and what type of fabric do you recommend?
ROFLMAO :LOL::LOL: | |
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TRON said: I like to wear crotchless panties. They're very fashionable.
Oh, by the way; please gimme back my black chaps. I cannot go to Le Depot without them. | |
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perry, don't you think it might be a losing battle you got going on here? this is prince org, after all. remember? we're all fans of the buttless-pants wearing MFsinging darling nikki writing guy, the one, the only, prince.
i'm just saying, this may not be the best forum for a thread that is NOT about sex. so don't take it personally if folks get naughty on your thread ok? | |
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fashion is sex, sex is fashion free ur mind | |
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Hey Perry thanks for the tip. I went over to the church and it turns out they did have something for me after all. It's one of those baby backpacks parents wear. I think it's called a snugly. There's also a baby carriage I think I can use to roll my guys around in when my back gives out.
Anyways, I loosened the straps so it hangs low enough to support my nutsack and it hides them enough so that people think it's just a really large hairy baby (but what they don't know won't hurt 'em right?  ). It's a bit tough on my back supporting the weight but I'll manage. Whew! what a relief. Thanks for the support  . Well I guess in terms of fashion, this scrotal support is my new fave.  "I ordered no broth! Away with ye lest my cane find your backside!!"- Ralph Wiggum, Actor. | |
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Perry said: MrBliss said: he (or she) is joking
I am sorry Idid not reply to your Posts in order. This is a hard website. Does everyone here really think Morality is a Joke? Is it so impossible for people to live Wholesomely? well, it is pretty difficult to be wholesome with this massive cock in my mouth... but it makes the day more fun! Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night i can't sleep on my side anymore either... last thursday, i slept on my side and i speared 12 of the people in my neighborhood... now i'm on trial for mass murder... ...that's why i moved to the country ... occasionally some cows will bump into it... but it's the lesser of two evils
. [This message was edited Mon Apr 21 20:09:18 PDT 2003 by MrBliss] i tried living in the country once, but i woke up and a horse was licking it because he thought it was a salt-lick or something... ...
that's the only time that i've awaken to a tongue on my dick and it been a baaad thing... ...i can see how you would find that disturbing but you know what's the most difficult part for me... it's living with the guilt ... it's time i confessed...my dick sank the titanic .. oh the shame!geez... that's horrible... i've got a confession to make as well... my dick was the bering strait... ... the landbridge that connected asia and north america... i asked them not to print that in the history books, because i didn't like the thought of people teaching little kids about my dick... ... Mr. Ellis Dee-licious, the Official NPGigolo
Candy Dulfer is my boo... | |
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EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night i can't sleep on my side anymore either... last thursday, i slept on my side and i speared 12 of the people in my neighborhood... now i'm on trial for mass murder... ...that's why i moved to the country ... occasionally some cows will bump into it... but it's the lesser of two evils
. [This message was edited Mon Apr 21 20:09:18 PDT 2003 by MrBliss] i tried living in the country once, but i woke up and a horse was licking it because he thought it was a salt-lick or something... ...
that's the only time that i've awaken to a tongue on my dick and it been a baaad thing... ...i can see how you would find that disturbing but you know what's the most difficult part for me... it's living with the guilt ... it's time i confessed...my dick sank the titanic .. oh the shame!geez... that's horrible... i've got a confession to make as well... my dick was the bering strait... ... the landbridge that connected asia and north america... i asked them not to print that in the history books, because i didn't like the thought of people teaching little kids about my dick... ...yeah i get that
it was the same when they used my dick to smash the Berlin wall ... i mean the people that need to know...know...ya know? | |
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MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night i can't sleep on my side anymore either... last thursday, i slept on my side and i speared 12 of the people in my neighborhood... now i'm on trial for mass murder... ...that's why i moved to the country ... occasionally some cows will bump into it... but it's the lesser of two evils
. [This message was edited Mon Apr 21 20:09:18 PDT 2003 by MrBliss] i tried living in the country once, but i woke up and a horse was licking it because he thought it was a salt-lick or something... ...
that's the only time that i've awaken to a tongue on my dick and it been a baaad thing... ...i can see how you would find that disturbing but you know what's the most difficult part for me... it's living with the guilt ... it's time i confessed...my dick sank the titanic .. oh the shame!geez... that's horrible... i've got a confession to make as well... my dick was the bering strait... ... the landbridge that connected asia and north america... i asked them not to print that in the history books, because i didn't like the thought of people teaching little kids about my dick... ...yeah i get that
it was the same when they used my dick to smash the Berlin wall ... i mean the people that need to know...know...ya know? yeah... and that bullshit that i made up about the continental drift and the tectonic plates... ... it was my first hard-on that broke pangea up into the different continents and islands... i've had to keep it on the D.L. for all these years... Mr. Ellis Dee-licious, the Official NPGigolo
Candy Dulfer is my boo... | |
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EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night i can't sleep on my side anymore either... last thursday, i slept on my side and i speared 12 of the people in my neighborhood... now i'm on trial for mass murder... ...that's why i moved to the country ... occasionally some cows will bump into it... but it's the lesser of two evils
. [This message was edited Mon Apr 21 20:09:18 PDT 2003 by MrBliss] i tried living in the country once, but i woke up and a horse was licking it because he thought it was a salt-lick or something... ...
that's the only time that i've awaken to a tongue on my dick and it been a baaad thing... ...i can see how you would find that disturbing but you know what's the most difficult part for me... it's living with the guilt ... it's time i confessed...my dick sank the titanic .. oh the shame!geez... that's horrible... i've got a confession to make as well... my dick was the bering strait... ... the landbridge that connected asia and north america... i asked them not to print that in the history books, because i didn't like the thought of people teaching little kids about my dick... ...yeah i get that
it was the same when they used my dick to smash the Berlin wall ... i mean the people that need to know...know...ya know? yeah... and that bullshit that i made up about the continental drift and the tectonic plates... ... it was my first hard-on that broke pangea up into the different continents and islands... i've had to keep it on the D.L. for all these years... ... i can dig it
i'm still pissed at how they won't recognise my crossing of the english channel... just because i didn't actually enter the water | |
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MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: MrBliss said: EllisDee said: i'm constantly getting hounded by the police for indecent exposure and sexual harrassment...
cops are pricks like that... the other day, i was bangin' this car wash... and they were like... all over me bastards... ...
the other day, i was taking a trip to asheville, and when we were going through the tunnel that leads to town, my dick jammed the tunnel and stopped both lanes of traffic... and i got a damned ticket... ...
like i did it on purpose or something... yeah... asswipes the other day i was sunbaking on the beach... and they like...threw me off for blocking out the sun, and making everyone in the water cold... i was like.. "have you people heard of wet suits?" ... fuckers yeah... i used to do pole-vaulting back when i was in high school, and the judges would constantly be disqualifying me for using too large of a pole... and i would have to explain to them that they were looking at my dick and not the pole... ...that's terrible the other day i was fucking the ocean... and the police came up and said "please stop fucking the ocean" ... i mean ...who knew that shit was illegal? try this... i slept on my stomach last night, and this morning, my dick woke up in china... and now, i've got this big ass whole in my bed and floor... ... gettdafuckouttahere!! that happened to me last wednesday
i now sleep on my side... cause if i sleep on my back... planes crash into my dick at night i can't sleep on my side anymore either... last thursday, i slept on my side and i speared 12 of the people in my neighborhood... now i'm on trial for mass murder... ...that's why i moved to the country ... occasionally some cows will bump into it... but it's the lesser of two evils
. [This message was edited Mon Apr 21 20:09:18 PDT 2003 by MrBliss] i tried living in the country once, but i woke up and a horse was licking it because he thought it was a salt-lick or something... ...
that's the only time that i've awaken to a tongue on my dick and it been a baaad thing... ...i can see how you would find that disturbing but you know what's the most difficult part for me... it's living with the guilt ... it's time i confessed...my dick sank the titanic .. oh the shame!geez... that's horrible... i've got a confession to make as well... my dick was the bering strait... ... the landbridge that connected asia and north america... i asked them not to print that in the history books, because i didn't like the thought of people teaching little kids about my dick... ...yeah i get that
it was the same when they used my dick to smash the Berlin wall ... i mean the people that need to know...know...ya know? yeah... and that bullshit that i made up about the continental drift and the tectonic plates... ... it was my first hard-on that broke pangea up into the different continents and islands... i've had to keep it on the D.L. for all these years... ... i can dig it
i'm still pissed at how they won't recognise my crossing of the english channel... just because i didn't actually enter the water ...
i know how shitty that can be... it's like that asshole neil armstrong...  ... my dick was actually the first man on the moon, but he's the one that gets all the credit for it... grr... Mr. Ellis Dee-licious, the Official NPGigolo
Candy Dulfer is my boo... | |
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Versace would have been so angry with the title of thise thread, by the way. | |
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