i'm no xpert but imo she's not being very nice to you. you sure she's the one?

This is what they call a red flag.

weirdest thing I've ever heard...She's talking about mortgage not rent right?

Are you close to landing a place or no in terms of financial status?

If the answer's no...you know she knows that and the whole thing is just her way of ending things with u...sorry hate to be the one to tell you this:(

Yeah I agree it's a red flag, bro. I know it's difficult to analyse the situation objectively when you still have feelings for someone but put it this way, if she only wants and respects you when her demands are met, that person is a taker and they'll continue to abuse your trust down the line.

Run

EmmaMcG said:

So she just wants to be with you but won't talk to you or unblock your number until you move in together? That's not normal behaviour. My honest advice is to find someone else because she sounds like a headcase

onlyforaminute said:

This is what they call a red flag.

Yep. Runnnnnnnnnnnn and run far. Drop her like a hot potato.

purplethunder3121 said:

EmmaMcG said:

So she just wants to be with you but won't talk to you or unblock your number until you move in together? That's not normal behaviour. My honest advice is to find someone else because she sounds like a headcase

thecloud said:

I wanted to share my previous post titled "My Percocet Addiction" It's very relevant to the reason for this post...however I don't know how to include the link on this thread. My addiction caused this whole fiasco and this is the consequences of using prescription painkillers

Here's the link http://prince.org/msg/100/457160


Just one helluva mess really


I wish you all the best.

luv4u said:

Oh, so you're her red flag. There's one in here somewhere. Trust is earned through deeds not words. Keep your head up and keep working on you. Once that beast is out it's a lifetime effort keeping in at bay but it can be done.

onlyforaminute said:

MoBettaBliss said:

All you need to be focusing on is staying drug free. That’s it. If you lose focus you’ll relapse and screw everything up. Whatever will be will be with your girlfriend. Show her respect by giving her space. What are you doing to stay clean? Do you have support? A sponsor? Are you going to N.A meetings? Staying drug free is work. Are you working hard enough? Stay drug free. That’s it. Forget the girl for now. I sincerely wish you well.

^ what he said. take care of yourself and hang in there.

MoBettaBliss said:

All you need to be focusing on is staying drug free. That’s it. If you lose focus you’ll relapse and screw everything up. Whatever will be will be with your girlfriend. Show her respect by giving her space. What are you doing to stay clean? Do you have support? A sponsor? Are you going to N.A meetings? Staying drug free is work. Are you working hard enough? Stay drug free. That’s it. Forget the girl for now. I sincerely wish you well.

Yes. Thecloud, if you have substance abuse issues, staying clean has to be your main focus. Without sobriety, most likely things will not get better.

Take life one day at a time, and God bless...

[Edited 1/12/19 17:15pm]

sonshine said:

I have so many questions. That was a lot of info to sort. I don't even know where to start so I'm just going to say I'm so sorry you are hurting. Stop being so hard on yourself. You need to do you now. That's it. The rest will work itself out if you take care of yourself first. Put all of your energy into your sobriety other parts of your life will begin to fall into place. Its going to take time but you can do this. Please let us know how you are doing.

Yes, this. And God bless you.

For starters, you have to take it one day at a time. You can either keep beatin yourself up over what has been done, or accept that you messed up, apologize to her, and work your ass off to make sure that it never happens again.

Your girlfriend is going to have a lot of trust issues with you, probably for quite some time. She may never fully trust you again. If she doesn't, you have to decide if this is then the best relationship for her. She deserves to have someone that she can trust.

Now having said that, the fact that your phone was turned off and you weren't allowed to make any calls, she needs to find a way to accept your explanation for how the events turned out. She can either accept your explanation and agree that the two of you start today on moving forward, together, or she cannot accept your explanation, and will continue to hold that against you, blaming you. It may come up in arguments (quite frequently), or when she is feeling insecure she may bring it up, along with the blame towards you, and you will have to decide whether that is something you can live with having thrown back at you all the time. Everyone makes mistakes, and we learn from those mistakes and ensure that we don't repeat them. As long as you've learned from your mistake, and don't ever repeat it, then it would be very unfair of her to continually hold this over your head, and honestly, you wouldn't deserve it if you made amends. Not for years anyway. For the first year or two, it will be touchy until she can decide whether to trust you again, after that, it's just become a weapon to use against you, to make you feel bad and to get her way.

Ultimately, it comes down to what the both of you are willing to accept from each other. Is she willing to live with a fear that you will revert to taking pills and betraying her (in her mind) again? Are you willing to live with the idea that she may hold this over your head for years to come? And then you both have to decide, is either of those situations fair to other one? If you decide it's not, then you must decide to either work on those issues together, in therapy, to address them now so that they do not grow to those depths, or to walk away and give each other the opportunity to explore other relationships. Then if the two of you are meant to be together, you may come together later. If you aren't, then you may and she may find someone to love deeply.

Move on dude.