Mission Impossible: Fallout. 6/10. Ok, the stunts really are completely insane and makes you hold your breath, but the rest of the film feels like a rather dumb excuse to go from action scene to action scene. And the end is so ridiculously over the top. Without spoiling too much, the whole thing with the helicopter and the cable is just completely impossible. Couldn't they think of something that's at least a little bit based in reality?

It's the return of our favorite feature - Movies I Only Saw The Last Thirty Minutes Of!

Looking back, I really don't know what has changed in my life. There was a time when it wasn't too uncommon for me to catch the Last Thirty Minutes Of a movie. Almost always on TBS. Now? Doesn't happen any more. Am I more disciplined? Ha! That's a good one!

Am I busier? Well, yeah. Hurricane Harvey entered our house last year and we're still rebuilding. So we don't have a traditional home yet, which mainly means I don't have much of a downstairs. We have a GREAT upstairs but my son has commandeered the game room, so watching TV isn't as convenient as it used to be. So maybe that's it.

Or maybe, just maybe, I can blame my horrible, wretched, unholy Directv system. I hate it. Actually, let me restate that - I HATE IT. There, I feel better.

I hate Directv for many valid reasons. First and foremost is that the clickers are the worst clickers ever designed in the entire history of the World, going back to its very creation. Their ergonomics were not crafted for the human hand - everything is in the wrong place, and nothing is clickable correctly on the first try. On top of that, the receiver usually registers 50% of whatever I click. So, if I want to watch TBS on channel 247, I will punch in "2-4-7" and the Directv box will receive "2-4".

It's so bad that now I change channels by hitting the Guide first, and punching in buttons until it goes to the channel I want to watch, and then I select it. How horrible is that? VERY horrible.

Consequently, I get stuck on channel 24 (Dr. Ho Solves Your Back Pain!) far more than I end up in channel 247, where the Movies I Could Have Watched The Last Thirty Minutes Of reside.

Let me be honest - all that malarkey above was irrelevant, as I walked in on my wife watching a movie on channel 535 (Starz Encore). So neither the clicker nor the cursed Directv system really had anything to do with it. I just needed to fill some space. Kind of like and 11th-grader's essay on a book he never actually read.

The Movie I Watched The Last Thirty Minutes Of, though, was great! It was a The Rock movie, so greatness was assumed but as we learned with "Skyscraper" greatness may be assumed but it has to be earned to exist. So when I saw The Rock on my TV, I assumed greatness.

"Gridiron Gang" delivered some greatness!

Somehow, I forgot to watch this movie when it was released. I don't know how - it's got The Rock, and it's about FOOTBAW. Two of my favorite things. And yet, not only did I not watch it, I'm pretty sure I never even knew it existed. Looking back though, the reason is obvious.

In 2006 (the year of its release), my daughter was 10. I'm sure I spend that summer watching "The Lizzie Maguire Movie" during most of my waking hours.

Back to the movie. When I walked in, The Rock was talking to some young inmates. I noticed two things - The Rock had hair; and The Rock was only about half as big and jacked up as he is today. And I'm not the only person to notice this. Someone did a comparison of the two The Rocks already. To wit:

GRIDIRON GANG THE ROCK OF 2006 VS. TOTALLY JACKED-UP THE ROCK OF TODAY:






But as we all know, even a smaller, non-jacked-up The Rock is bigger than most human males. Even me. Did I tell you I'm thinking of entering a bodybuilding contest? I am! Maybe next Spring, after I hit 60. I figure there's gotta be a class for dudes 60 and over. Make sure to check in on my Org Fitness Threads often!

OK, shameless thread promotion over. On we go with the FOOTBAW.

The Rock is telling some young inmate that he is a loser because he is lost. If he plays FOOTBAW, he will be a winner. Apparently, The Rock has an inmate FOOTBAW team called the Mustangs. And they're about to play The Big Game although it's not going to be against the prison guards like in "The Longest Yard". It's going to be against some well-funded team of mean, young, white racists. Or at least, one of them is a mean, young, white racists as he drops an N-bomb during The Big Game.

The teams take the field. The stands on the bad team's side are completely filled; the stands on the Mustangs' side have about 25 people. BUT, those 25 people are there to show the inmates that they are loved, so you know who's got inspiration and motivation on their side, don't you?

The Mustangs take that inspiration and motivation and run the opening kickoff back for a touchdown. They are going to blow the doors off the bad guys! Awesome! But wait!

What's that on the field?!?!? A penalty flag?!?!?!? Oh well, so what? The touchdown dossn't count but as we just saw, the Mustangs are going to run all over the bad guys. Except...

...they don't. Much like Rocky's first fight against Mr. T in the greatest sports movie ever made ("Rocky III", natch), all it takes is one punch to the mouth and all the fight goes out of the Mustangs. The bad guys start stomping the Mustangs into the turf, and lead 14-0 at halftime.

Now, look - plenty of us have played plenty of FOOTBAW in our lives and we know that being down by only two touchdowns after a complete half of play is bad but not insurmountable. So I wasn't too worried when The Rock led his team into the locker room, whereupon The Rock disappeared into his office.

"Aren't you going to give the team a motivational speech?" says Assistant Coach Xzibit. "Who's going to give the motivational speech?!??!"

"They are," says The Rock. "They're ready".

"Gridiron Gang" is based on a true story. There really was a guy named Sean Porter who created a FOOTBAW team at a juvenile detention facility back in 1990. And it changed lives. But I'm pretty sure that in real life, Sean Porter gave each and every motivational speech.

The Rock, however, sees things differently in the make-believe world of Hollywood. He never addresses the players. He lets them address themselves. Which they do and naturally pump themselves up. Their speech isn't quite as good as Brother Bluto's in "Animal House" (WHICH, BY THE WAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE I COULD NAME BETTER WATCH VERRRRRRY SOON OR I'M GOING TO BOMBARD THIS THREAD WITH REVIEWS OF 80'S SKI MOUNTAIN MOVIES) but it gets the job done.

The Mustangs win on the last play. Yay!

The movie is over but The Rock has a voice-over in which tells us: (1) that wasn't actually The Big Game, it was The Semi-Final Big Game; (2) the Mustangs lost the last The Big Game but still felt like winners; (3) various players succeeded after FOOTBAW, some didn't, and one guy got shot in a drive-by; and (4) The Rock got a new group of inmates the next year.

After reading the wikipedia plot summary of "Gridiron Gang" I am certain it was a great movie to Only Watch The Last Thirty Minutes Of. Clearly, The Last Thirty Minutes were The Best Thirty Minutes.

So I rate The Last Thirty Minutes of "Gridiron Gang" as 3.5 YOU BETTER WATCH "ANIMAL HOUSE" SOON! out of 5 YOU BETTER WATCH "ANIMAL HOUSE" SOON!'s.

FOOTBAW!

"The Meg" Meg: loosely Based on the 1996 "Meg: a novel of Deep Terror" by Steve Alten.

A research team discovers a 75-foot Megladon shark and try to stop it from eating...well... everything. A few nice chases... a twist or two (which were predictable) and way too much humor.

It was a fun movie but upgrades to effects...it is no Jaws.

3/5

Deadpool 2 6 .5 / 10

DO NOT CALL MY BLUFF


.

[Edited 8/12/18 6:40am]

RodeoSchro said:

3.5 YOU BETTER WATCH "ANIMAL HOUSE" SOON! out of 5 YOU BETTER WATCH "ANIMAL HOUSE" SOON!'s.

it's definitely coming up soon.

eighth grade (2018) 5/5 what a perfect, lovely film. wanted to give it a hug at the end. a kinder, gentler welcome to the dollhouse, if you're looking for a point of reference. this will be one of my favourites of the year.

damosuzuki said:

RodeoSchro said:

3.5 YOU BETTER WATCH "ANIMAL HOUSE" SOON! out of 5 YOU BETTER WATCH "ANIMAL HOUSE" SOON!'s.

it's definitely coming up soon.

Whew! My brain might explode if I watched all thsoe, plus the "Ski School" movies again, plus the "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" perfect spoof of "Ski School".

However, I am SORELY tempted to watch "Out Cold". Any movie that bills itself as the "Animal House" of ski movies - or the "Animal House" of anything, really - is a movie I should probably watch.

RodeoSchro said:

damosuzuki said:

it's definitely coming up soon.

Whew! My brain might explode if I watched all thsoe, plus the "Ski School" movies again, plus the "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" perfect spoof of "Ski School".

However, I am SORELY tempted to watch "Out Cold". Any movie that bills itself as the "Animal House" of ski movies - or the "Animal House" of anything, really - is a movie I should probably watch.

i am almost certain i've seen hot dog & aspen extreme at some point in my life.

why i would watch those yet never see animal house is something i can't explain, other than to say they must have been playing on a tv located somewhere near me at the time.
and i haven't watched the last 3 or 4 seasons of it's always sunny... either.

i just keep falling further & further behind!

damosuzuki said:

RodeoSchro said:

Whew! My brain might explode if I watched all thsoe, plus the "Ski School" movies again, plus the "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" perfect spoof of "Ski School".

However, I am SORELY tempted to watch "Out Cold". Any movie that bills itself as the "Animal House" of ski movies - or the "Animal House" of anything, really - is a movie I should probably watch.

i am almost certain i've seen hot dog & aspen extreme at some point in my life.

why i would watch those yet never see animal house is something i can't explain, other than to say they must have been playing on a tv located somewhere near me at the time.
and i haven't watched the last 3 or 4 seasons of it's always sunny... either.

i just keep falling further & further behind!

LOL, if you're "behind" then I am so far back you can call me PaleoSchro instead of RodeoSchro.

Atomic Blonde (2017)

I really enjoyed the action, intrigue, and soundtrack.

Plus, Charlize.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

Classic summertime viewing. Maybe my favorite Coen Bros flick.

.25

Looking forward to seeing Eigth Grade with my 7th grade twins. I never have considered going to R rate movies with them until now, as from what I read that is a ridiculous rating mostly based on the number of F bombs said in the film. I have learned from this thread that you are quite the movie buff, so your opinion matters.

RodeoSchro said:

3.5 YOU BETTER WATCH "ANIMAL HOUSE" SOON! out of 5 YOU BETTER WATCH "ANIMAL HOUSE" SOON!'s.

it's definitely coming up soon.

eighth grade (2018) 5/5 what a perfect, lovely film. wanted to give it a hug at the end. a kinder, gentler welcome to the dollhouse, if you're looking for a point of reference. this will be one of my favourites of the year.

gandorb said:

Looking forward to seeing Eigth Grade with my 7th grade twins. I never have considered going to R rate movies with them until now, as from what I read that is a ridiculous rating mostly based on the number of F bombs said in the film. I have learned from this thread that you are quite the movie buff, so your opinion matters.

it's definitely coming up soon.

eighth grade (2018) 5/5 what a perfect, lovely film. wanted to give it a hug at the end. a kinder, gentler welcome to the dollhouse, if you're looking for a point of reference. this will be one of my favourites of the year.

thanks! and i absolutely think it is an outrage this film got an r. truly absurd. it's a perfect movie for kids of that age or a bit older. there's a bit of salty language in it for sure, but a few very uncomfortable sexual situations probably got them that rating. this is a point that's been made a billion times before, but it's worth saying again: it is pretty silly that kids that age have a green light to see genuinely brutal violence, but if you throw in some slightly sexual overtones, things come scratching to a halt.

[Edited 8/13/18 17:46pm]

XxAxX said:

iZsaZsa said:

Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle I laughed all the way until I cried at the end. 4/5. I only didn’t like the dance fight song; it wasn’t pumped up enough, I think.

I thought it was good, not great, just good.
My pet peeve? The pilot kid spends 20 years surviving in a jungle without getting bit by a mosquito (& die). Then for dramatic effect, after TWO DECADES of evading mosquito bites, he gets bit on a sunlit mountaintop where no mosquitos would be.

PurpleJedi said:

damosuzuki said:

gandorb said:

Looking forward to seeing Eigth Grade with my 7th grade twins. I never have considered going to R rate movies with them until now, as from what I read that is a ridiculous rating mostly based on the number of F bombs said in the film. I have learned from this thread that you are quite the movie buff, so your opinion matters.

thanks! and i absolutely think it is an outrage this film got an r. truly absurd. it's a perfect movie for kids of that age or a bit older. there's a bit of salty language in it for sure, but a few very uncomfortable sexual situations probably got them that rating. this is a point that's been made a billion times before, but it's worth saying again: it is pretty silly that kids that age have a green light to see genuinely brutal violence, but if you throw in some slightly sexual overtones, things come scratching to a halt.

[Edited 8/13/18 17:46pm]

I was literally reading this news article 10 minutes before coming on this thread. In England a director is giving away free tickets to swerve a 15 rating that was given on the basis of strong language but which he feels underpins the point of the film (about poverty). I'd love to know if people think he's doing the right thing or whether he should abide by the ratings given.

maplenpg said:

gandorb said:

maplenpg said:

I was literally reading this news article 10 minutes before coming on this thread. In England a director is giving away free tickets to swerve a 15 rating that was given on the basis of strong language but which he feels underpins the point of the film (about poverty). I'd love to know if people think he's doing the right thing or whether he should abide by the ratings given.

Similarly, in the US there were some free screenings of the movie without the rating system. It was reported that these screenings did well with the teenagers, who are suggesting that other teens are see it.

real life 8th grade is not PG-13....why should the movie be. And yes, in the US the Rating system is 100% voluntary. The problem is most studios push it on theaters.

maplenpg said:

damosuzuki said:

thanks! and i absolutely think it is an outrage this film got an r. truly absurd. it's a perfect movie for kids of that age or a bit older. there's a bit of salty language in it for sure, but a few very uncomfortable sexual situations probably got them that rating. this is a point that's been made a billion times before, but it's worth saying again: it is pretty silly that kids that age have a green light to see genuinely brutal violence, but if you throw in some slightly sexual overtones, things come scratching to a halt.

[Edited 8/13/18 17:46pm]

I was literally reading this news article 10 minutes before coming on this thread. In England a director is giving away free tickets to swerve a 15 rating that was given on the basis of strong language but which he feels underpins the point of the film (about poverty). I'd love to know if people think he's doing the right thing or whether he should abide by the ratings given.

Interesting article, thanks for sharing.

I use to give the BBFC a kicking in years gone by, deservedly so most of the time, but to be fair they've been a lot better in the last fifteen years or so. Tough to say precisely without seeing the film and its full content, but if the BBFC have gone for a 15 on language alone I'd say that's the wrong call.

Reading a synopsis of the film it doesn't sound like something a parent would take their 13 year old to anyway, so probably a fuss over nothing. I can't see many kids badgering their folks to go and see it only to be disappointed when they can't because its a 15.

gandorb said:

maplenpg said:

I was literally reading this news article 10 minutes before coming on this thread. In England a director is giving away free tickets to swerve a 15 rating that was given on the basis of strong language but which he feels underpins the point of the film (about poverty). I'd love to know if people think he's doing the right thing or whether he should abide by the ratings given.

Similarly, in the US there were some free screenings of the movie without the rating system. It was reported that these screenings did well with the teenagers, who are suggesting that other teens are see it.

The MPAA are the ones who dole out the ratings in the US, and they count how many f-bombs are in

the film, the degree of nudity or sexual scenes, violence, etc. At this point the ratings are suggestions like the [TV14] disclaimer that comes up on network shows that are considered "too mature for younger audiences." - - the theaters certainly do not enforce an age limit, as far as I know. But they might if a group of unaccompanied kindergartners show up to see an R rated movie.

Depending on the film, studios want more tickets sold so they will often edit films to hit the PG13 which provides for wider audience access and presumably bigger box office.

IMO, "Thirteen" shoud be seen by 12-13 yr-olds since it realistically depicts that world.

I do not see any reviews of "Animal House".

Movie news:

MoviePass is selling at $0.05/share. This is AFTER their 250-1 reverse stock split. No possible way it survives.

NetFlix is where people go for comedy these days, and NetFlix users watch an inordinate amount of Adam Sandler. NetFlix users have watched more than 500,000,000 hours of Sandler movies in the last 16 months. So despite NetFlix's migration from mainly offering Hitler documentaries, they are still evil.

Finally, some good news - Elizabeth Banks is going to star in a movie about the young lady who won the date with Prince and got the premier of "Under The Cherry Moon" plus a concert. Although the movie revolves around Prince, he isn't going to be a character in it. I hope they follow up with the real-life stuff the young lady said about Prince when he died. Her words will make you cry tears of happiness.

6.5/10

RodeoSchro said:

I do not see any reviews of "Animal House".

/

i was going to watch it last night.

but i saw that an israeli slasher film was streaming on shudder, so needless to say i had to watch that. it was, predictably enough, not too good.

& tonight, the '68 version of planet of the apes is playing at a local theatre, & i can't pass up a chance to see heston's magnificently hammy performance on a big screen.

but i promise you i will watch it thursday.

you held up your end of the bargain. it's taken me months, but i'll live up to my end, & will watch it tomorrow.

tehran taboo (2017) 3.5/5 3 women try to work their way through life while coping with iran's strict religious laws. maybe just a bit heavy-handed at times, especially in its slightly melodramatic ending, and perhaps a few too many plot threads that don't completely come together, but ultimately an interesting story told pretty well. nice rotoscope animation as well.

BlacKkKlansman (2018) A highly entertaining, hard hitting and thought provoking film about Ron Stallworth, an African-American detective from Colorado, infiltrating the Ku Klux Klan. The cast led by Baller's John David Washington was excellent and the soundtrack was amazing. IMO this is the best Spike Lee film since Inside Man (2006) which starred John's dad Denzel. Finally, I sat through the credits just to listen to Mary Don't You Weep by Prince I give this a 5 out of 5

[Edited 8/15/18 22:27pm]

D+

animal house it's pretty funny! i'm docking it a 1/2 point because of that nasty scene where bulushi imitates a zit (chewed food crosses a line for me). and..well, there is a maybe a moment or two that is a bit too tacky in retrospect. but otherwise this is exactly what you'd want a raunchy comedy to be. 4.5/5

kpowers said:

D+

I did see the documentary on HBO Beware the Slenderman - very sad eerie true tale.