EmmaMcG said:

RodeoSchro said:

Unfortunately, I thought it was very stupid. Sorry.

Very disappointing to hear that. Although I'm sure you weren't actually expecting it to be a really thought provoking "piece of art". Tom Cruise doing Tom Cruise stuff is enough for me to rate it very highly.

My wife wants to watch this movie . I saw part 1, hated it. Watched part 2, hated it as well so gave up on this franchise.

Dadgummit! I was SO EXCITED to see "Mission: Impossible - All The Shit That Could Possibly Fall Out Of The Writers's Anuses" because I was going to blow you all away with my very own "Hey EmmaMcG" post.

Dang it.

Dang it.

Dang it.

Dang it.

Plus, lots of other online reviewers had journalistic orgasms writing about this movie. How could they all be so impossibly wrong?!? Well, they were. We'll get to that.

But first, the exciting news!

As I was driving home yesterday afternoon on Beltway 8 (a big freeway that encircles the city), there was a major slowdown. After a few minutes of 2 MPH driving, I saw the smoke ahead. It was thick and black, and almost certainly indicated a car fire.

It wasn't a just a car - it was an armored car. A truck, really - the kind that carries money.

And it wasn't just burning - it looked like there had been an explosion under the hood and below the armored car. It was wedged onto the shoulder, and there was another armored car behind it. Tons of police had showed up, as had the fire department. Lots more police were blazing their way to the scene.

I bet you're thinking the exact same thing I thought:

PARKER IS REAL AND HIS GANG JUST HIT AN ARMORED CAR.

I've been scouring the local news today but no story about an armored car robbery. That's probably just a ruse to keep Parker and the boys off-balance. Considering the kind of news we've had in Houston lately (a dude carried a 20-year grudge and pulled off a meticulously-planned execution of a beloved doctor while both were riding bicycles), I would not be surprised if the cops were keeping a lid on the real-life Parker and his gang. I'll keep my eyes opens.

Being particularly sensitive to super-criminals like Parker, my wife, favorite mother-in-law, a friend and I had some pre-movie Mai Tais and food at 888, and then went to the Booze and Chow for the movie. We had some after-dinner chow and lots of booze. The previews came on.

Some stupid Transformers movie. The Queen movie. Tiffany Hadish. Nothing that created any interest. I was mildly concerned that the usually-reliable RodeoSchro Movie Previews Indication Device was indicating a bad movie experience to come. But then I remembered how many people were going ga-ga over this movie that I brushed off my concerns.

Have I told you my motto lately? Here it is:

I'm always right. Even when I'm wrong, I'm right. (This was something Prince used to say and I love it.)

The RodeoSchro Movie Previews Indication Device was right.

This movie is a mess. It's stupid, nonsensical, waaaaaay too long, and stupid. There was absolutely nothing whatsoever to make me care about any of the characters.

Superman is in this movie; or rather, the guy who ruined Superman. His name is Henry Cavill. Once you play Superman, you are always Superman. I don't care what movie you make - you're Superman.

Cavill is a good-looking Superman but his acting makes Ben Affleck look like Paul Newman. Cavill can't act. In this movie, he's the bad guy. Oh right - I guess I should have said SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT but you know what?

I hope I ruined the movie for you because I just saved you money. Feel free to thank me often.

So we have Superman as the bad guy. Superman is NEVER the bad guy. But the idiots at DC Comics made him the bad guy in "Superman Vs. Batman". Also, Superman got his ass kicked by The Batman, which we all know would never happen in real life (if those guys were real). But Superman was the bad guy.

Angela Bassett is also a bad guy but only I seemed to understand that. She told Superman to kill Tom Cruise! And he tried his darndest to do that! But Superman - the guy who worked for Angela Bassett - was the bad guy!

When she showed up at the hospital at the end of the movie, I bellowed the following three things between dialogue:

KILL HER!

SHOOT HER!

THROW HER OFF A CLIFF!

Tom Cruise did none of those things. Instead, he thanked her for showing up at a time and place she could not have possibly known, and saving his life. Tom Cruise should have killed her.

Tom Cruise should have killed everyone, but I don't think he killed anyone. Mainly, he just got his butt whipped by stand-ins.

The other bad guy is The Drake. All people named Drake are The Bad Guy. I've proven this before but here again is irrefutable proof:





I don't really know what The Drake of this movie was doing. I don't really care. This movie is nothing more than 4 hours of unrelated stunt scenes.

OK, it's not a 4-hour movie. It only seemed like a 4-hour movie.

No one who should have died in this movie actually dies, except Superman. Right before he dies, in the Death Match with Tom Cruise, he says, "Why won't you just DIE?!?" And then he falls off a cliff.

You literally cannot get more cliched than that. But at least he died.

The Drake does not die. Angela Bassett does not die. Some Lady GaGa look-alike does not die. Alec Baldwin dies, but he did not deserve to die. On the other hand, now he can't be in the next turkey in this series. So his dying was a good thing, career-wise.

The complete domination of green screen has made the fact that Tom Cruise was really jumping out of a real plane and not just flapping his arms in front of a green screen irrelevant. This is one reason I won't see comic book movies - I hate green screens. And now I hate comic book movies even more, since they and their green screens ruined the only thing was good about "Mission: Impossible - I Tried To Fall Out Of My Seat But Could Not Possibly Drink That Much Gin".

There are so many plot holes and unbelievable coincidences in this movie that all you can do is shake your head. No one knows who "John Lark" is (Hint: it turns out to be Superman). But they know the special code of his bracelet he has to wear to get into the lady who looks like Lady GaGa's party. How can they know that but not know who John Lark is? (Hint: Again - it's Superman.)

Time and time again the "Mission: Impossible - Don't Let Money Fall Out Of Your Wallet To Buy A Ticket For This Crapfest" unseen brainiacs are able to supply impossible information to Tom Cruise, yet they can't catch the bad guys. Or even know who they actually are.

It's just so stupid.

I am rating "Mission: Impossible - My Brains Want To Fall Out" with a NEGATIVE STAR. It gets a NEGATIVE STAR because it ruined my chance to attain Org immortality with my very own "Hey EmmaMcG" post.

NEGATIVE STAR, I say!

EmmaMcG said:

EmmaMcG said:

Ugot2shakesumthin said:

So far this year no movie has yet struck me as Oscar-worthy. Oddly enough the only ones i could possibly see nominations for are animated movies. The Incredibles 2 and Isle Of Dogs.

I wouldn't be surprised to see Black Panther get nominated. Although I much preferred Infinity War. Honestly, I think it would be kind of refreshing to see a movie like Infinity War win big at the Oscars.

Yes Infinity War was the better movie. Though I could see both movies getting Oscars for special effects or costumes designs.

kpowers said:

EmmaMcG said:

Ugot2shakesumthin said:

So far this year no movie has yet struck me as Oscar-worthy. Oddly enough the only ones i could possibly see nominations for are animated movies. The Incredibles 2 and Isle Of Dogs.

I wouldn't be surprised to see Black Panther get nominated. Although I much preferred Infinity War. Honestly, I think it would be kind of refreshing to see a movie like Infinity War win big at the Oscars.

i just got back from seeing 'the rider' & i definitely think it will end up near the top of my favourites for this year. truly beautiful. i had an emotional reaction to its end unlike anything i've seen in years. a bit like classic malick meets the wrestler. i don't know if it will get nominated, & i want to let it settle in & rattle around my head a bit, but right now i can't imagine i'll see many better films this year.

i also think first reformed was great, maybe perfect, & can't wait to see it again. i think that is likely to get a best pic nomination, perhaps because it's seen as a comeback/redemption for schrader.

[Edited 8/4/18 20:27pm]

iZsaZsa said:

Avengers Infinity War. 5/5.
STOP. SPOILERS.
Holy shit. I rolled over like Dr. Strange. But I’m mourning my man T’Challa.
I will watch this movie again and again. But right now the only ‘time stamp’ I can remember is that Peter Parker is in high school when he dies and that that is today?. Captain Marvel’s movie, I’ve read, will be set in the ‘80s? And so I predict that at the end of her movie she will answer the call from Nick Fury, then turn to dust. Calling it first!

EmmaMcG said:

iZsaZsa said:

Avengers Infinity War. 5/5.
STOP. SPOILERS.
Holy shit. I rolled over like Dr. Strange. But I’m mourning my man T’Challa.
I will watch this movie again and again. But right now the only ‘time stamp’ I can remember is that Peter Parker is in high school when he dies and that that is today?. Captain Marvel’s movie, I’ve read, will be set in the ‘80s? And so I predict that at the end of her movie she will answer the call from Nick Fury, then turn to dust. Calling it first!

Captain Marvel is set in the 90s and Nick Fury is going to be a supporting character throughout the movie. The post credits scene will probably see her answering the call but I doubt she'll be "dusted". My guess is that she will be somewhere out of reach of Thanos' "snap". Possibly in another dimension. Which would explain why she never got involved in any of the previous Avengers movies.

iZsaZsa said:

EmmaMcG said:

iZsaZsa said:

What about Wonder Woman? One of them has got to go, no?

Wonder Woman isn't even part of the MCU

Twilight is on Amazon prime so i gave it a peek. the movie was beautifully filmed and visually appealing. i still can't completely get into the idea that edward is romantic but that's likely just because of my personal background. if domestic abuse hadn't featured so much in my life when i was young i might regard him differently.

that being said, it was a fun watch. four stars. i can see why this series is so popular.

RodeoSchro said:

PurpleJedi said:

Watched this last night...




/5

What a crap-fest.

How did this mess ever leave the cutting room?

Was it pieced together in a rush? Did they not have a budget for an actual Script?

Did you not read the RodeoSchro Approved Methods of Film Death? It was posted BEFORE you watched this.

You have no one to blame but yourself.

If they had all died within the first 15 minutes of the film, I would've enjoyed it more.

the rider (2018) 5/5 a young rodeo performer has to make peace with his new life after sustaining an injury that will keep him from riding again. a film that seems incredibly unlikely on its surface - made by a chinese director, populated by first-time amateur actors, with the lead essentially acting out his own real-life tragedy. this is definitely one of the best & most powerful films i've seen recently, in years perhaps.




you were never really here (2018) 4/5 a revenge thriller with all the guts ripped out, like if someone remade taken minus all the action scenes & with a broken, incoherent, suicidal abuse survivor instead of an ass-kicker as the lead. skeletal & obscure to the point of almost being incomprehensible at times, but completely enthralling. & hugely helped along by another great john greenwood score.


mission impossible (2018) 4/5 the story is just along for the ride, another film about running around to beat a ticking clock on a bomb, and maybe that keeps this from attaining some kind of true cinematic nirvana, but the action scenes in this thing are all ridiculously great. the bathroom fight is as tough as almost anything in the raid. the chase scene rates with the best moments from mad max. & the helicopter ending is best of all. i haven't seen every action movie. i've never even watched a mission impossible film until today. but this felt state of the art, and i'd say it all ranks among the greatest action films i've ever seen.

[Edited 8/6/18 19:20pm]

damosuzuki said:

Saw Mission Impossible - Fallout over the weekend. It was awesome! I give it 4 1/2 out of 5. The storyline was good and easy to follow. The scenery was awesome and the stunts were some of the best I've ever seen. Tom Cruise rules as Ethan Hunt! My hubby and I loved it and highly recommend it.

[Edited 8/7/18 9:47am]

EmmaMcG said:

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: FALLOUT This will be possibly the least informative review you'll ever read because I want to be careful not to include any spoilers. The reason I'm being extra careful about spoilers is because you owe it to yourself to see this movie with as little prior knowledge as possible. Going in, I thought this would be typical Mission Impossible/Tom Cruise stuff. A solid, 3.5/5 action movie that doesn't do much wrong but outside of the action scenes, has little else going for it. In fact, it wasn't a movie I was particularly excited about at all. But fucking hell was I wrong. Not only is it the best Mission Impossible to date, it's also quite possibly a contender for my favourite Tom Cruise movie of all time. And if I'm putting this on the same level as Top Gun, then you know it must be good. "Good" is an understatement. It's absolutely brilliant. I could actually feel my heart beat in my chest so hard I thought an alien was going to burst out. Now, it could have been the sheer amount of butter I had them put on my popcorn that did it but I think it was the sight of Tom Cruise in that fucking helicopter. And falling from the helicopter. For real. No stuntman or green screen. The man is insane but I love him. Reward Tom Cruise for his amazing bravery/stupidity by seeing Mission Impossible Fallout. I'll be seeing it again after I recover. And maybe get this thing with my heart checked out... [Edited 7/25/18 0:53am]

Totally agree with your review. The movie was amazing.

Empress said:

Saw Mission Impossible - Fallout over the weekend. It was awesome! I give it 4 1/2 out of 5. The storyline was good and easy to follow. The scenery was awesome and the stunts were some of the best I've ever seen. Tom Cruise rules as Ethan Hunt! My hubby and I loved it and highly recommend it.

[Edited 8/7/18 9:47am]

the stunts in that movie were astonishing.

damosuzuki said:

Empress said:

Saw Mission Impossible - Fallout over the weekend. It was awesome! I give it 4 1/2 out of 5. The storyline was good and easy to follow. The scenery was awesome and the stunts were some of the best I've ever seen. Tom Cruise rules as Ethan Hunt! My hubby and I loved it and highly recommend it.

[Edited 8/7/18 9:47am]

the stunts in that movie were astonishing.

Totally! We couldn't get over how amazing there were.

Brendan said:

damosuzuki said:

the rider (2018) 5/5 a young rodeo performer has to make peace with his new life after sustaining an injury that will keep him from riding again. a film that seems incredibly unlikely on its surface - made by a chinese director, populated by first-time amateur actors, with the lead essentially acting out his own real-life tragedy. this is definitely one of the best & most powerful films i've seen recently, in years perhaps.

Makes big mental note for The Rider. Thank you!

if it's still playing in your area, i'd absolutely cast a vote for trying to get out and see it in proper theatre. it's got several really lovely, expansive 'big sky' scenes that deserve to be seen on a big screen.

damosuzuki said:

Brendan said:

damosuzuki said:

if it's still playing in your area, i'd absolutely cast a vote for trying to get out and see it in proper theatre. it's got several really lovely, expansive 'big sky' scenes that deserve to be seen on a big screen.

That answers a question I had. My first, second, and third preference is to see things in a theater. I live in the Minneapolis area. Doing some research it unfortunately looks like I missed it. It was playing at least 2 theaters, including one special screening with the lead actor. Off to determine when streaming starts. Appreciate heads up.

it's available on blu ray/dvd this week. i've reserved it from the library to watch at home. i've got a 55" 4k tv with pretty good sound hooked up, so that should suit me just fine...apart from the repertory cinema in columbus (an hour and a half away) where my son and i and maybe 7 other people watched 'alien' sunday, i just can't tolerate going to the theater anymore. watching a film (at least the type that i enjoy) with a bunch of people ruins the whole experience for me.

peedub said:

I need to spend a weekend at the movies, so many I've wanted to see but haven't had time.

Last movie I force time to see. Ocean's 8 it was eh, I did feel like it was a setup to a sequel, seems I was right, hopefully there'll be better chemistry. I'd give it a 2.5/5 I'm buying it anyway to go along with my set.

Suicide Squad. 0/10. Easily the worst piece of shit you will ever see. Everyone who even knows someone who worked on that should be ashamed of themselves.

Brendan said:

damosuzuki said:

if it's still playing in your area, i'd absolutely cast a vote for trying to get out and see it in proper theatre. it's got several really lovely, expansive 'big sky' scenes that deserve to be seen on a big screen.

That answers a question I had. My first, second, and third preference is to see things in a theater. I live in the Minneapolis area. Doing some research it unfortunately looks like I missed it. It was playing at least 2 theaters, including one special screening with the lead actor. Off to determine when streaming starts. Appreciate heads up.

I prefer to see movies at the Booze and Chow. Partly for the chow; mainly for the booze.

RodeoSchro said:

Brendan said:

peedub said:

it's available on blu ray/dvd this week. i've reserved it from the library to watch at home. i've got a 55" 4k tv with pretty good sound hooked up, so that should suit me just fine...apart from the repertory cinema in columbus (an hour and a half away) where my son and i and maybe 7 other people watched 'alien' sunday, i just can't tolerate going to the theater anymore. watching a film (at least the type that i enjoy) with a bunch of people ruins the whole experience for me.

Cool. Completely understandable. And the library route is a wise one. I’ve never done that, even though my Mom was a librarian. My brief streaming research last night revealed that this movie was already available to stream, and based on your information that means it must of only been that way for several hours. I have it saved for watching in the very near future. I’m no theater traditionalist. We live in an extremely fortunate time where almost everything can be made better in the home. That burly 1950s studio boss in his private screening room rolling his fat stogy over his grimaced bottom row is about to completely run out of privilege. I also have a pretty obnoxiously sized flat screen and home theater (although not 4K yet) that can wash over a majority of your senses. I don’t watch a lot TV, but for movies and sports, two passions of mine, it falls just short of being there. So what keeps me coming back? Is it the people? Is it the ambience? Is it 80-foot wide screen? Is it not having to wait months to see something (this advantage is slowly eroding)? Yes to all. But I suppose it’s also because I don’t really notice the distractions much anymore.

i completely understand where peedub is coming from, & if i had a better setup at home, i might be inclined to do the same. but my tv & audio is, like everything else about me, comprehensively mediocre.

that said, i do think there is something about the theatre experience, particularly the shared experience of seeing a film with an audience that just can't be replicated at home. maybe i've just been lucky, or maybe winnipegers are a little better behaved in theatres than other north americans (highly unlikely to be true judging by their behaviors in every other venue), but i haven't had many bad experiences. & i just think there's something to that shared experience. i doubt i would have loved toni erdmann half as much if i hadn't heard the waves of laughter rippling throught that audience. i probably wouldn't have sound the red turtle half as affecting if i hadn't seen the girls crying at the end in the row in front of me. there's an aspect that makes that essential to me, something that i think is intangible but still deeply ingrained into our nature as a social animal.

anyway, i watched mamma mia from 2008 the other night. pierce brosnan singing sos is one of the most exquisitely ridiculous things i've ever seen in my life, so horrible it's sublime. it's like those outsider music albums (kenneth higney's no heavy trucking!) where people who have no talent or craft attempt to do something they're in no possible manner capable of doing, and create somethign so awful it becomes magnificent.

for the record, here is kenneth higney singing no heavy trucking.

http://www.nicovideo.jp/w...sm12352271

3.5/5 for mamma mia.

damosuzuki said: