I'm going to be 50 in 42 days. I recently saw a book, The Gentle Art of Swedish...of Clutter, on TV that talked about starting your purge of items at age 50. The idea is that by the time you're 80 or 90 and are at the end of your life, your family doesn't have a lot of items to go through and get rid of once you're dead. You can slowly give away or sell your items, have less and less, and by the end the burden is light on those that are in charge of your remains or leftovers in life.

The description of the book is:

In Sweden there is a kind of decluttering called döstädning, dö meaning “death” and städning meaning “cleaning.” This surprising and invigorating process of clearing out unnecessary belongings can be undertaken at any age or life stage but should be done sooner than later, before others have to do it for you. In The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, artist Margareta Magnusson, with Scandinavian humor and wisdom, instructs readers to embrace minimalism. Her radical and joyous method for putting things in order helps families broach sensitive conversations, and makes the process uplifting rather than overwhelming.

Margareta suggests which possessions you can easily get rid of (unworn clothes, unwanted presents, more plates than you’d ever use) and which you might want to keep (photographs, love letters, a few of your children’s art projects). Digging into her late husband’s tool shed, and her own secret drawer of vices, Margareta introduces an element of fun to a potentially daunting task. Along the way readers get a glimpse into her life in Sweden, and also become more comfortable with the idea of letting go.

It doesn't mean you have to get rid of everything by age 55, but it's a focused and purposeful push to slowly maybe not buy more things, start giving things away, passing momentos down, etc. My mother never knew about this book, but in the years before she died (her death was quick so she didn't know her life would end at age 65) she had started sending my brother and me old papers, photos, our baby books, report cards, and anything else she had kept over the years. I don't know of much, as far as those types of things, that was left once she did pass away. She was probably just trying to whittle down all this stuff she had for decades, but I was grateful because there wasn't anything to really deal with once she died. I got an English teacup she collected, and a few other things. Her husband kept the rest, and I didn't care about tchotchkes, etc.

So, is this something you would consider starting at age 50?

Assuming I make 50... Hell no. I'll make a will though. BUt to consider my own death so often and burden people with being recipients of my items...


Ohhh... great.. it's his favorite Bear from when he was 8,
Oh it's the "Pooh Bar Jenga" bear from the drinking games

Oh, shit...he sent you his first guitar?...shit! he's sent you the sketches and preliminary art from all his comic books!

shit!!... the painting he did of "you know who" who passed before they could reconcile.

GET THAT SHIT AWAY FROM ME (assumed sibling: sobbing)

They'd see what it meant.. and it'd only get bleaker and bleaker..

But maybe that's how the Swedes do it. They have some of their traditions still active...my heritage was kinda plowed under with invading hordes of militiamen contending with each other and bringing crosses and bibles.

ANYWAYS... I get the notion... BUt SHIT... just even thinking about it is gonna make me sob about it.

That's a horrifying prospect... That's all I'm saying.

Bequeath the shit to people... but all the other stuff... like clothing... I guess that makes sense. But anything of value and personal value.. it's like counting breaths... that would personally make my life burdensome and grim.

Just my opinion. That's all.


interesting topic

Based on my own experience, I would not want to be a burden (being alive just to be alive, totally oblivious to anything else goijg on) and I've voiced my opinion to my family. But at 50, to be automatically considered a burden just because of hitting a milestone is way over the top, but folks do need to be aware of that type of thinking is moving to the forefront in the not too distant future.

morningsong said:

Based on my own experience, I would not want to be a burden (being alive just to be alive, totally oblivious to anything else goijg on) and I've voiced my opinion to my family. But at 50, to be automatically considered a burden just because of hitting a milestone is way over the top, but folks do need to be aware of that type of thinking is moving to the forefront in the not too distant future.

I think that might be misconstruing the point of it, though. It's certainly not saying at 50 that you're an automatic burden on the family or there is some pending doom. We're just in act 2 of our lives at 50 (considering that each act is about 30 years and we have roughly 3 acts in our life), so definitely not a burden.

It's a personal journey to start thinking differently about owning things, and learning to appreciate people & experiences, than all the things you've collected to that point. It's a slow burn process from 50-80 to whittle down your things and simplify your life.

I thought about this because it's been brought up here before (and recently) "What will happen to your vinyl if you die?" Some didn't care, some have that in a will, etc. So with the cleaning thing, it'd be a gradual let-go of anything and everything as time goes on. I also don't think anyone is expected to be living in a hut w/ a wash rag and a water cup by age 85 either. haha

TrivialPursuit said:

morningsong said:

Based on my own experience, I would not want to be a burden (being alive just to be alive, totally oblivious to anything else goijg on) and I've voiced my opinion to my family. But at 50, to be automatically considered a burden just because of hitting a milestone is way over the top, but folks do need to be aware of that type of thinking is moving to the forefront in the not too distant future.

I think that might be misconstruing the point of it, though. It's certainly not saying at 50 that you're an automatic burden on the family or there is some pending doom. We're just in act 2 of our lives at 50 (considering that each act is about 30 years and we have roughly 3 acts in our life), so definitely not a burden.

It's a personal journey to start thinking differently about owning things, and learning to appreciate people & experiences, than all the things you've collected to that point. It's a slow burn process from 50-80 to whittle down your things and simplify your life.

I thought about this because it's been brought up here before (and recently) "What will happen to your vinyl if you die?" Some didn't care, some have that in a will, etc. So with the cleaning thing, it'd be a gradual let-go of anything and everything as time goes on. I also don't think anyone is expected to be living in a hut w/ a wash rag and a water cup by age 85 either. haha

I think that's what reverse mortgage are about, for those that have them. I think most people at certain points re-evaluate their life, and around 50 is one of them. But reading about people in their 70s getting their degrees or doing something they've always wanted to do need not be overlooked, I don't like the idea of an abitrary constrict on what one should be doing at what age, I think one should be realistic about their own capabilities and limitations though.

TrivialPursuit said:

I'm going to be 50 in 42 days. I recently saw a book, The Gentle Art of Swedish...of Clutter, on TV that talked about starting your purge of items at age 50. The idea is that by the time you're 80 or 90 and are at the end of your life, your family doesn't have a lot of items to go through and get rid of once you're dead. You can slowly give away or sell your items, have less and less, and by the end the burden is light on those that are in charge of your remains or leftovers in life.

The description of the book is:

In Sweden there is a kind of decluttering called döstädning, dö meaning “death” and städning meaning “cleaning.” This surprising and invigorating process of clearing out unnecessary belongings can be undertaken at any age or life stage but should be done sooner than later, before others have to do it for you. In The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, artist Margareta Magnusson, with Scandinavian humor and wisdom, instructs readers to embrace minimalism. Her radical and joyous method for putting things in order helps families broach sensitive conversations, and makes the process uplifting rather than overwhelming.

Margareta suggests which possessions you can easily get rid of (unworn clothes, unwanted presents, more plates than you’d ever use) and which you might want to keep (photographs, love letters, a few of your children’s art projects). Digging into her late husband’s tool shed, and her own secret drawer of vices, Margareta introduces an element of fun to a potentially daunting task. Along the way readers get a glimpse into her life in Sweden, and also become more comfortable with the idea of letting go.

It doesn't mean you have to get rid of everything by age 55, but it's a focused and purposeful push to slowly maybe not buy more things, start giving things away, passing momentos down, etc. My mother never knew about this book, but in the years before she died (her death was quick so she didn't know her life would end at age 65) she had started sending my brother and me old papers, photos, our baby books, report cards, and anything else she had kept over the years. I don't know of much, as far as those types of things, that was left once she did pass away. She was probably just trying to whittle down all this stuff she had for decades, but I was grateful because there wasn't anything to really deal with once she died. I got an English teacup she collected, and a few other things. Her husband kept the rest, and I didn't care about tchotchkes, etc.

So, is this something you would consider starting at age 50?

LOL I'm sorry, but I have to laugh at already done that, been there. I've had to get rid of things I valued many years ago...and my Mom died right before her 64th B'day. But my Dad is still around. I've had to move from apartments over the years and literally cried when a landlord put in double-panned windows and all of a sudden my belongings that I kept for 20 years got mold. Found out double-panned windows are a blessing and a curse. It keeps out moisture and humidity, but it has a an opposite effect also--humidity goes WAY UP! I had to toss out belongings and furniture I had for years, including the small suit case with my Grandmother's initials on it... I solved the problem by throwing stuff out, cleaning everything with bleach, and buying the kind of de-humidifer that you would put in a basement. Wish I had known that before I tossed all my stuff. I had three estimates on mold removal and they told me it would cost thousands of dollars, which, of course, the landlord wouldn't pay. As someone in my 50s, I have gotten rid of a lot of stuff...and will probably get rid of more. I have a big Prince collection. But, could I live without all this stuff? Sure, I can. Memories are tattooed on the brain; not listed on Ebay...

It is very coincidental that even though I hadn't heard of this author prior to reading your post, I had already started this very process myself, for similar reasons. No one can predict when we go and I personally feel that leaving all the painful and unecessary de-cluttering work to other people after you is very inconsiderate.

I also think that declutting does wonder for the mind body and the soul, even while we're still here as it helps us see everything a lot more clearly. There was a British TV show a few years back called 'The Life Laundry' in which they once said that people tend to cling on to many more items than they need because of their insecurities. Sometimes the decluttering can also open the wounds of past issues and therefore we tend to ignore it or push it at the bottom of our list.

The programme was challenging these attitudes and encouraging people to confront their insecurities and to sort their stuff out in order to move forward, grow stronger, and sometimes even make a lot of money in the process.

My dad destroyed the one thing I really wanted. A picture he drew when I was a kid, I cherished that picture but I never said a word about it particular because he wasn't satisfied with. After he passed I found it stored under the house cut up into various pieces and I was absolutely heartbroken. There are several other items I am very happy he didn't just toss even though it was a chore getting rid of a lot of stuff, but since he wasn't that much of a pack rat is wasn't like some stories I've heard.

There's a minimalist movement happening that started a few years back, recently watched a documentary on it. I think it started with the tiny home movement but I'm not sure.

I went through a big purge of random things I've been holding on to and just went through another one recently. Books that I've read and don't re-read have been donated or recycled. Old pictures that I've taken or been given all get scanned and tossed. Why have I been saving old concert tickets? Scanned and tossed.

The hardest was my cd's and records. I'll admit that I horde these things but my music collect has always been something I use to identify myself with. Proud to say that I've given away three-quarters of my collection but there's just some stuff I couldn't part with.

When you move sometimes you're forced to get rid of things. My new perspective is that if I'm not using it or the item doesn't have a purpose, it's gone.

My wife is another story...

CherryMoon57 said:

It is very coincidental that even though I hadn't heard of this author prior to reading your post, I had already started this very process myself, for similar reasons. No one can predict when we go and I personally feel that leaving all the painful and unecessary de-cluttering work to other people after you is very inconsiderate.

...

Your post reminds me of Alison Moyet on Graham Norton once talking about how she wanted to not own anything. I forget the details of how she was accomplishing that, but she never bought anything, gave stuff away. She said just didn't want to have any possessions. I sorta think her idea was some hippy rockstar self-indulgent thing, but the same idea is there I think.

I turn 59 tomorrow. Which, I assume, means that I'll soon be contacted by President Obama's Death Panel.

At least, that's what I heard from Sarah Palin.

I'm not really near 50 quite yet, but I think it's never too early to declutter your space/life of things (and people) that don't serve a purpose for you.

Shoes that hurt, clothes that look weird, books I didn't enjoy.. they all gotta go.

I do have trouble throwing out some things with sentimental value though (like my CDs; collecting dust in huge binders)

.

[Edited 2/9/18 14:42pm]

TrivialPursuit said:

CherryMoon57 said:

It is very coincidental that even though I hadn't heard of this author prior to reading your post, I had already started this very process myself, for similar reasons. No one can predict when we go and I personally feel that leaving all the painful and unecessary de-cluttering work to other people after you is very inconsiderate.

...

Your post reminds me of Alison Moyet on Graham Norton once talking about how she wanted to not own anything. I forget the details of how she was accomplishing that, but she never bought anything, gave stuff away. She said just didn't want to have any possessions. I sorta think her idea was some hippy rockstar self-indulgent thing, but the same idea is there I think.

I am all in favour of minimalism but I wouldn't go as far as having nothing. Sometimes a stack of 'stuff' can conceal real gems. The show was good in that the big sort-out helped people rediscover and re-appreciate (sentimental or other) valuables they had forgotten about. These can be testaments of our histories, a minimum of traces of our existence are important to our descendants.

thekidsgirl said:

I'm not really near 50 quite yet, but I think it's never too early to declutter your space/life of things (and people) that don't serve a purpose for you.

Shoes that hurt, clothes that look weird, books I didn't enjoy.. they all gotta go.

I do have trouble throwing out some things with sentimental value though (like my CDs; collecting dust in huge binders)

.

[Edited 2/9/18 14:42pm]

Yeah, and I have a rule that if I've not used something in a year, it should go. A year gives you every anniversary, birthday, holiday, and party opportunity to use it. If you don't, girl bye. We put our own value into things, and we feel less than if we don't have things to represent us. When in fact, some of the greatest people in history through the ages had very little, but we still remember them and talk about them. It's always about legacy, not possessions.

RodeoSchro said:

I turn 59 tomorrow. Which, I assume, means that I'll soon be contacted by President Obama's Death Panel.

At least, that's what I heard from Sarah Palin.

Happy Belated Birthday Schro! Your secret location is safe with me.

LadyLayla said:

RodeoSchro said:

I turn 59 tomorrow. Which, I assume, means that I'll soon be contacted by President Obama's Death Panel.

At least, that's what I heard from Sarah Palin.

Happy Belated Birthday Schro! Your secret location is safe with me.

LOL, thanks! I think I'm safe, as it appears our genius president has diverted all the Obamacare Death Panel squads to a new mission of picking up college professors for deportation.

The way to de-clutter, cleansing... call it whatever you won't. Anything I don't use in 24 months goes on/or to eBay, Craigslist ,Goodwill/ Salvation Army / Veteran's Ass. or have an Auction.


My daughter has the essential already... or the things we aren't using or the home we live in. You can use Estate Auction / Auction house(s) to remove bigger items.. if your de-cluttering. What I've learn most people (including your kids) don't want your shit. It maybe "valuable" to you but nobody wants your stuff. So, don't cause your kids anymore stress, get rid of it. When we kicked the bucket, I told her to have an auction it takes them less than 4 hours to rid of your stuff, another 60 minutes to sale the house. Done finish fly back home.

TD3 said:

The way to de-clutter, cleansing... call it whatever you won't. Anything I don't use in 24 months goes on/or to eBay, Craigslist ,Goodwill/ Salvation Army / Veteran's Ass. or have an Auction.


My daughter has the essential already... or the things we aren't using or the home we live in. You can use Estate Auction / Auction house(s) to remove bigger items.. if your de-cluttering. What I've learn most people (including your kids) don't want your shit. It maybe "valuable" to you but nobody wants your stuff.

Good rule in the first paragraph.

You make a really good point in the second paragraph. Folks always try to price their stuff based on their own memories of it. To a stranger, it's worth probably 1/4 of that, at most. It's just stuff and holding onto a dresser or a vase won't bring grandma back.

TrivialPursuit said:

TD3 said:

The way to de-clutter, cleansing... call it whatever you won't. Anything I don't use in 24 months goes on/or to eBay, Craigslist ,Goodwill/ Salvation Army / Veteran's Ass. or have an Auction.


My daughter has the essential already... or the things we aren't using or the home we live in. You can use Estate Auction / Auction house(s) to remove bigger items.. if your de-cluttering. What I've learn most people (including your kids) don't want your shit. It maybe "valuable" to you but nobody wants your stuff.

Good rule in the first paragraph.

You make a really good point in the second paragraph. Folks always try to price their stuff based on their own memories of it. To a stranger, it's worth probably 1/4 of that, at most. It's just stuff and holding onto a dresser or a vase won't bring grandma back.

Decades ago I went with my mother when she ways about 3 years away from retirement. I'll never forget the financial planner saying...

Yea, I know you paid $4,000 for the sofa but guess what now, 35 bucks now. Now, if you someone left you antiques have it appraised and then auction it off. Don't get ripped off. I read where late Malcom Forbes children, grandchildren sold off his entire art, antiques, and car/motorcycle collection. They didn't want it, they wanted the money.

First of all, Happy 50th for your upcoming birthday!

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SECOND - Thought provoking stuff, I am larded down with books and magazines I collect (Not hoarder, but lots of stuff) and my stamp collection. I keep putting off my will.

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My parents both died very young (Mum at 53, Dad at 65) and I had to clean up lots of their crap - but we donated most of her clothes to Salvation Army shops (I objected as they are homophobic) and most of her chintzy crap ended up in family hands including. My father went all Kermit the Hermit and left nothing but debts. All that was left was some furniture falling to bits and lots of personal files and old bilss I went through, keeping or destroying snesitive stuff and leaving the rest to go the dump.

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I have left orders for my stamps to be sold by the Philatelic Society and them to keep the money as a donation. Personal affects I will declutter as time passes on for cash.

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I am not too worried as I am nearly 42 and have year to go, but come from a family with health issues and common early deaths. But these are mostly cancers and people abusing their bodies with smokes, alcohol and drugs, nothing I do or have. But I am quite overweight and a risk group (Polynesian) and also have a heightened risk of cancer.