A man goes to see a wizard and says,

"Can you lift a curse that

a priest put on me years ago?"

"Maybe," says the wizard,

"Can remember the exact words

of the curse?"

The man replies,

"I pronounce you man and wife."

----------------------------------------------------------

Dylan was practicing his golf swing in his front yard

when he swung a little too hard and sent the ball

through his neighbors window.

Dylan ran over and rang the doorbell three times.

After no one answered for a few minutes,

he opened the door to see broken glass everywhere,

a lamp lying on the ground,

and a huge fat Arabian man wearing a turban

sitting on the couch.

Dylan asked, "Who are you?"

The fat man replied,

"I am a genie you have freed from that lamp."

Dylan questioned, "Oh man, do I get three wishes?"

The genie replied,

"Since you freed me by accident you only get two and I get one."

Dylan thought about it and realized what he wanted,

"I want to be the best golfer ever."

The surprised genie said,

"You sure? Most people wish for money, but okay.

Now your wife gets one wish."

Dylan brought over his wife who wished right away,

"I want a million dollars every week of my life."

The genie said,

"Granted. And now for my wish,

I have been cramped up in that lamp for many years

so its been a while since I've been with a woman.

I want one day of wild, crazy sex with your wife, Dylan."

Dylan said, "No way!"

The genie replied, "Not even for a million dollars a week?"

Dylan turned to his wife, who said,

"I guess for all that, I should. Well, not until Dylan leaves."

Dylan said, "Okay, have fun, I guess," and left.

Dylan's wife then proceeded to have wild sex

for the rest of the day with the genie.

When they were finished,

the genie asked how old her husband was.

She said, "Forty-five."

The Genie laughed and said,

"Isn't he a little old to be believing in genies?"

Never mess with a Genie...

BADD!!!