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Lessons Learned (okay i'm new at this site and all and i hope i don't make an idiot out of myself right away so here goes!)
what's the best or hardest or most important thing you have learned from a friend(ship)? for me i think it was from my best friend rosie. she set an example for me and inspired me to learn to ask questions and not be afraid. she is brave and it made me realize maybe i could be too. (was that too sappy?) | |
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Not too sappy.  ---------------------------------
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First off... welcome! 
Hardest thing I have ever learned from a friend? To be independent instead of trying to depend on someone else to take care of me! I thank her for that! He calls me "Holi" cuz he says everyday w/ me is like a Holiday... | |
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luv4thepurple1 said: First off... welcome!
Hardest thing I have ever learned from a friend? To be independent instead of trying to depend on someone else to take care of me! I thank her for that! thanks! whew that's a big lesson luv! i need to get better at that myself. how did she teach you that? | |
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NewAgeGirl said: luv4thepurple1 said: First off... welcome!
Hardest thing I have ever learned from a friend? To be independent instead of trying to depend on someone else to take care of me! I thank her for that! thanks! whew that's a big lesson luv! i need to get better at that myself. how did she teach you that? Many talks, slaps, and a few "I told ya so's" did the trick!  He calls me "Holi" cuz he says everyday w/ me is like a Holiday... | |
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'Lessons Learned'
"noo you hold the joint like this man..." | |
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Christopher said: 'Lessons Learned'
"noo you hold the joint like this man..." omg yes that too! or how to do bong hits or lines or um maybe i should be quiet now! | |
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NewAgeGirl said: Christopher said: 'Lessons Learned'
"noo you hold the joint like this man..." omg yes that too! or how to do bong hits or lines or um maybe i should be quiet now! wow newage girl would you like to share something with the class? | |
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That despite the illusion of friendship, it's extraordinarily hard to find genuine, trustworthy people...   I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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Christopher said: NewAgeGirl said: Christopher said: 'Lessons Learned'
"noo you hold the joint like this man..." omg yes that too! or how to do bong hits or lines or um maybe i should be quiet now! wow newage girl would you like to share something with the class? ok let me see if i can do that blushing face 
there did it! that was all a long time ago lol | |
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CalhounSq said: That despite the illusion of friendship, it's extraordinarily hard to find genuine, trustworthy people...
amen to that and it hurts alot to find that out because it usually doesn't show itself right away  | |
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NewAgeGirl said: ok let me see if i can do that blushing face
there did it! that was all a long time ago lol hmmm | |
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welcome newagegirl
When I was just outta high school my girl friend at the time whom I loved very much left me.I was blown away,but the reason she did was that I was going to forget about joining the service to stay with her.Well she explained that sometimes no matter how hard it may be you have to go seperate ways to grow etc...Well she was right,joining the marines was def.a growing exp.Today,well weve been together 8 months after being apart 12 years.And were getting married this October. | |
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crazyhorse said: welcome newagegirl
When I was just outta high school my girl friend at the time whom I loved very much left me.I was blown away,but the reason she did was that I was going to forget about joining the service to stay with her.Well she explained that sometimes no matter how hard it may be you have to go seperate ways to grow etc...Well she was right,joining the marines was def.a growing exp.Today,well weve been together 8 months after being apart 12 years.And were getting married this October. WOW now that's love crazyhorse that she'd do that so you did what was gonna be best for you! i bet you didn't feel that way at the time tho! you must've been so pissed off and hurt! how did you come back together again after all that time? | |
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A friend of hers saw an article Low Rider Magazine did on me.She looked me up and the rest is history. | |
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i have learned so much from so many people...
but one of the most important things i've learned/am learning is that you do not have to accept bad behavior from anyone... it's okay to be the one to leave... | |
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rio said: i have learned so much from so many people...
but one of the most important things i've learned/am learning is that you do not have to accept bad behavior from anyone... it's okay to be the one to leave... amen to that... but sometimes its hard, even when you know its best for you to go... my best friend taught me self-acceptance and that i am beautiful, inside and out.
you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel 
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. | |
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rio said: i have learned so much from so many people...
but one of the most important things i've learned/am learning is that you do not have to accept bad behavior from anyone... it's okay to be the one to leave... That is resonating with me somewhere... kind of the same thing has happened to me, apart from I call it protecting myself. I have realised that I have choices and if I am not enjoying the company of another, then I can choose to spend time elsewhere. I think though, that the biggest reason to not realising this any sooner, is that I thought I had no other alternatives. As the thought of being alone was so daunting. I've gone through quite a long cycle and now, I have turned it around so much, that I would rather be with my own company than with the 'wrong' company. And that is also because, the alternative of my own company, I now enjoy so much too. That is crucial. That is all to do with realising how I have been brought up and realising the patterns of relating with people. Because I have learnt to treat myself really well in general, I am less likely to relate with anyone who doesn't come up to the standard of how I treat me also. I have realised that it was normal for me to relate with people that I suffered to some extent with. So into adulthood, I have also formed relationships/friendships and felt that they have not been working, yet I have stayed with them, as staying with the suffering felt normal. Until I looked at it closely, I didn't think I had any other choice. I am still working on feeling safer in relation to others. I just call that adjusting my personal safety boundaries. It is amazing what a difference the difference makes though.  [This message was edited Sun Apr 13 4:28:04 PDT 2003 by Therapy] | |
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Therapy said: rio said: i have learned so much from so many people...
but one of the most important things i've learned/am learning is that you do not have to accept bad behavior from anyone... it's okay to be the one to leave... That is resonating with me somewhere... kind of the same thing has happened to me, apart from I call it protecting myself. I have realised that I have choices and if I am not enjoying the company of another, then I can choose to spend time elsewhere. I think though, that the biggest reason to not realising this any sooner, is that I thought I had no other alternatives. As the thought of being alone was so daunting. I've gone through quite a long cycle and now, I have turned it around so much, that I would rather be with my own company than with the 'wrong' company. And that is also because, the alternative of my own company, I now enjoy so much too. That is crucial. That is all to do with realising how I have been brought up and realising the patterns of relating with people. Because I have learnt to treat myself really well in general, I am less likely to relate with anyone who doesn't come up to the standard of how I treat me also. I have realised that it was normal for me to relate with people that I suffered to some extent with. So into adulthood, I have also formed relationships/friendships and felt that they have not been working, yet I have stayed with them, as staying with the suffering felt normal. Until I looked at it closely, I didn't think I had any other choice. I am still working on feeling safer in relation to others. I just call that adjusting my personal safety boundaries. It is amazing what a difference the difference makes though.
[This message was edited Sun Apr 13 4:28:04 PDT 2003 by Therapy] excellent post...i am right there on so many points... a big thing for me was i had some sort of fear of karma..or guilt associated with ending friendships..i mean..i thought it would be coming back to me... but then i'm realizing i wouldn't try to put another person in that position..so the cycle couldn't really play out in the same way because the situation would not be the same... i didn't want to hurt anybody...but now i don't want to hurt myself...or allow others to just because they are 'in my life' in some way...i think maybe in ending certain relationships the other person could benefit as well...maybe they will think about it and see what they're doing at some point..so it's not necessarily a negative thing to break something off... 'I've gone through quite a long cycle and now, I have turned it around so much, that I would rather be with my own company than with the 'wrong' company. ' this part i especially understand... | |
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CalhounSq said: That despite the illusion of friendship, it's extraordinarily hard to find genuine, trustworthy people...
 | |
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NewAgeGirl said: CalhounSq said: That despite the illusion of friendship, it's extraordinarily hard to find genuine, trustworthy people...
amen to that and it hurts alot to find that out because it usually doesn't show itself right away Amen again  | |
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Therapy said: rio said: i have learned so much from so many people...
but one of the most important things i've learned/am learning is that you do not have to accept bad behavior from anyone... it's okay to be the one to leave... That is resonating with me somewhere... kind of the same thing has happened to me, apart from I call it protecting myself. I have realised that I have choices and if I am not enjoying the company of another, then I can choose to spend time elsewhere. I think though, that the biggest reason to not realising this any sooner, is that I thought I had no other alternatives. As the thought of being alone was so daunting. I've gone through quite a long cycle and now, I have turned it around so much, that I would rather be with my own company than with the 'wrong' company. And that is also because, the alternative of my own company, I now enjoy so much too. That is crucial. That is all to do with realising how I have been brought up and realising the patterns of relating with people. I totally agree Therapy, you speak words of wisdom and I would rather my own company than the wrong company, but now it has got to a certain point that I fear new friends and relationships - sad as it is - because of that feeling of loss, hurt and rejection, so I try to hide away to protect myself cos I can really fuck up sometimes... I need people to learn that and understand that. I do relate to people really well but sometimes they cant relate to me so well.  I am much too sensitive..
Oh well, fuck it all! I am just gonna go out and have fun now - I am sick of trying to live by peoples rules, I am gonna be free and do my own thing for a change! Because I have learnt to treat myself really well in general, I am less likely to relate with anyone who doesn't come up to the standard of how I treat me also. I agree 100% with that too I have realised that it was normal for me to relate with people that I suffered to some extent with. So into adulthood, I have also formed relationships/friendships and felt that they have not been working, yet I have stayed with them, as staying with the suffering felt normal. And that! 
Until I looked at it closely, I didn't think I had any other choice. I am still working on feeling safer in relation to others. I just call that adjusting my personal safety boundaries. It is amazing what a difference the difference makes though. You are super-cool, Therapy!
[This message was edited Sun Apr 13 4:28:04 PDT 2003 by Therapy] | |
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NewAgeGirl said: (okay i'm new at this site and all and i hope i don't make an idiot out of myself right away so here goes!)
what's the best or hardest or most important thing you have learned from a friend(ship)? for me i think it was from my best friend rosie. she set an example for me and inspired me to learn to ask questions and not be afraid. she is brave and it made me realize maybe i could be too. (was that too sappy?) Hello NewAgeGirl nice to meet a new orger in a sort of cyber way
And the question isn't soppy no  its a good question
Lemme think  answers answers
Sorry for the oncoming essay My friends have helped me break away from tough situations to do with other problems. Worst case being last year where i had to escape from a psycho friendship. A friendship that i had been in for 11 years, a friend who was manic depressive who i tried to help but i could no longer because she was beginning to blame all her problems on me. Apparantly it was my fault her father died, that she was unpopular, that she had given up playing her saxophone, that she felt unloved. She rang everyday for hours on end to say nothing imparticular and to tell me I'd ruined her life at least 5 times each conversation. I was practically unallowed to have any friends other that her because she got insanely jealous, she would text me all day ring me all day, if i was out she would ring me to. The long and short being I ended up a nervous wreck- panic attacks, depression (again)- leading to self mutilation (though only slight and few and far between). i escaped due to the help of my friend Midge who encouraged me with my idea to end this 'friendship' with the other girl. It took alot of balls because this other girl was my best friend we confided in each other, I had seen her slice herself up and managed to calm and stop her, i had also stopped her swallowing handfuls of pills- reasoning with her. I felt that by leaving this friendship I was a terrible person but the long and short is I couldnt cope. I ended it by letter because had i have spoke on the phone i know she would've put the phone down and being a plum i know i would have rung back. I did get a reply to the letter sayin' she hoped i died soon and picking obvious flaws in me also saying i was selfish. Being also as she had always put me down saying i am stupid she decided to try and use 'big words' she thought i wouldn't uinderstand or something i dunno  Needless to say she tried to come crawling back since...
I learnt to pick my friends more wisely and not to get caught into a friendship where i was looked down on and belittled ever again. Lemme think what else... More recently I have learnt to love myself- as i am one of those people whose always had a low opinion of themself this is rather and accomplishment. Extra special thanks to that mate I feel  
 JaneyPoos used to be it... then they changed what it was. Now what I am isn't it and what is it is strange and frightening to me...
I survived the Org Depression Spring 2003 | |
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JaneyPoos said: NewAgeGirl said: (okay i'm new at this site and all and i hope i don't make an idiot out of myself right away so here goes!)
what's the best or hardest or most important thing you have learned from a friend(ship)? for me i think it was from my best friend rosie. she set an example for me and inspired me to learn to ask questions and not be afraid. she is brave and it made me realize maybe i could be too. (was that too sappy?) Hello NewAgeGirl nice to meet a new orger in a sort of cyber way
And the question isn't soppy no its a good question
Lemme think answers answers
Sorry for the oncoming essay My friends have helped me break away from tough situations to do with other problems. Worst case being last year where i had to escape from a psycho friendship. A friendship that i had been in for 11 years, a friend who was manic depressive who i tried to help but i could no longer because she was beginning to blame all her problems on me. Apparantly it was my fault her father died, that she was unpopular, that she had given up playing her saxophone, that she felt unloved. She rang everyday for hours on end to say nothing imparticular and to tell me I'd ruined her life at least 5 times each conversation. I was practically unallowed to have any friends other that her because she got insanely jealous, she would text me all day ring me all day, if i was out she would ring me to. The long and short being I ended up a nervous wreck- panic attacks, depression (again)- leading to self mutilation (though only slight and few and far between). i escaped due to the help of my friend Midge who encouraged me with my idea to end this 'friendship' with the other girl. It took alot of balls because this other girl was my best friend we confided in each other, I had seen her slice herself up and managed to calm and stop her, i had also stopped her swallowing handfuls of pills- reasoning with her. I felt that by leaving this friendship I was a terrible person but the long and short is I couldnt cope. I ended it by letter because had i have spoke on the phone i know she would've put the phone down and being a plum i know i would have rung back. I did get a reply to the letter sayin' she hoped i died soon and picking obvious flaws in me also saying i was selfish. Being also as she had always put me down saying i am stupid she decided to try and use 'big words' she thought i wouldn't uinderstand or something i dunno Needless to say she tried to come crawling back since...
I learnt to pick my friends more wisely and not to get caught into a friendship where i was looked down on and belittled ever again. Lemme think what else... More recently I have learnt to love myself- as i am one of those people whose always had a low opinion of themself this is rather and accomplishment. Extra special thanks to that mate I feel
JaneyPoos!       | |
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