A young fellow walks into a talent agent's office and says

he wants to break into show biz,

so the agent says "Okay, kid, show me what you do."

The kid tells some jokes, does a little soft shoe,

sings a bit, does an acrobatic act with an ottoman,

and is good enough to impress the agent. "Great kid! Just great!" says the agent.

"I can do things for ya! I think I can get you a show on TV."

(This was the early sixties.)

"By the way, what's your name?" The young man, proud and excited, exclaims "Penis Van Lesbian." "'Scuse me?" questions the agent. "My name is Penis Van Lesbian,"

again replies the young man.

"Hey, I'm sorry, kid, but you're gonna have to

change your name.

Nobody is gonna hire you with a name

like Penis Van Lesbian."

Well, the young man is crestfallen but steadfastly

refuses to change his name,

so he leaves to find another agent.

A few months later he returns to the same agent.

"Hey kid! Good to see ya again!" says the agent,

"Are ya still looking for work? Have ya changed your name?"

With his head hanging low the young man replies

"Yes. Every agent in town turned me down

because of my name, Penis Van Lesbian.

So I've changed it."

"Great, kid, great! What's your new name?"
"Dick Van Dyke."

Dr. Phil was conducting a therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions" he observed.

To the first mother he said: "You are so obsessed with eating you've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom: "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third mom: "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers: "Come on Dick, we're leaving."

purplethunder3121 said:

Dr. Phil was conducting a therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions" he observed.

To the first mother he said: "You are so obsessed with eating you've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom: "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third mom: "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers: "Come on Dick, we're leaving."

BADD!!!

purplethunder3121 said:

Dr. Phil was conducting a therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions" he observed.

To the first mother he said: "You are so obsessed with eating you've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom: "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third mom: "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers: "Come on Dick, we're leaving."

LOL i have giggled at his name for decades and i knew where the joke was going :LOL:

purplethunder3121 said:

Dr. Phil was conducting a therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions" he observed.

To the first mother he said: "You are so obsessed with eating you've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom: "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third mom: "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers: "Come on Dick, we're leaving."

good one