It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

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Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

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It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

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You can't have everything, where would you put it?

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Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

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If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

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The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. **

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Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

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I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

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When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

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Spotted on the back of a t-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: "If you see me running, try to keep up."

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Don't you think it's unnerving that doctors call what they do "Practice"?

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You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

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A closed mouth gathers no feet.

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Did you ever notice that Evian bottled water is Naïve spelled backwards? Think about it...

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The grass may actually be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still has to be mowed!
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BADD!!!

TGIF! thank you for the jokes KingBAD

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Happy Friday!

KingBAD said:

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

------------------------------------------------------------------

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. **

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Spotted on the back of a t-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: "If you see me running, try to keep up."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't you think it's unnerving that doctors call what they do "Practice"?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you ever notice that Evian bottled water is Naïve spelled backwards? Think about it...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The grass may actually be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still has to be mowed!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ultimate true-isms that made me laugh.

purplethunder3121 said:

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Happy Friday!

HA! That's so nutty.

Not sure why, but I find the thread title as funny as these aphorisms. Thanks for both.

What is reality? A system designed to confuse you... Nothing is real

And nothing to get hung about.

Cloudbuster said:

And nothing to get hung about.

Cloudbuster said:

And nothing to get hung about.

strawberry fields forever

XxAxX said:

Cloudbuster said:

And nothing to get hung about.

strawberry fields forever

And ever.