New topic
Printable| Author | Message |
All We Need To Know We Learned At Recess (long!!) came across this on some site:
All we need to know we learned at recess Many schools today require students to take a comprehensive academic test before they can move on to the next level. We have no problem with that. We just think they're neglecting to test for another important aspect of your child's education - social skills. We've put together this highly subjective, altogether incomplete list of things your child should have picked up at school. Add your own suggestions and test the kids. After kindergarten your child should know: "Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made" That asking a friend to say "I" and then spell "cup" is EXTREMELY funny The "see-food" gag Underwear is the basic building block of comedy After elementary school your child should know: How to look up dirty words in the dictionary "Comet, it tastes like gasoline; Comet, it makes your mouth turn green; Comet, it makes you vomit; so drink some Comet and vomit today." (Sung to the tune of The Bridge On the River Kwai song.) "Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg; the Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away, Hey!" (Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells.) "Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts; mutilated monkey meat; thirty dirty birdy feet; french-fried eyballs dipped in a bowl of blood; eat 'em without a spoon!" (Sung to the tune of the Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts song.) At least one of the two following songs: "Diarrhea, (thbbbt, thbbbt), diarrhea (thbbbt, thbbbt); some people think it's funny, but it's really brown and runny, diarrhea (thbbbt, thbbbt)" 'When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst - diarrhea, diarrhea; When you're sliding into third and you lay a juicy turd - diarrhea, diarrhea; When you're sliding into home and your shorts are filled with foam - diarrhea, diarrhea; When you're sitting in your Chevy and your shorts are wet and heavy - diarrhea, diarrhea." The titles to a series of books written by Seymour Butz, I. P. Nightly, et al. How to make armpit farts How to fold his/her eyelids back How to hock a loogey How to burp his/her name After middle school your child should know: What the four bases are How to swear like a truck driver Where you keep your pornography hidden After high school your child should know: How to shotgun a beer That shotgunning a warm beer is asking for trouble After college your child should know: How to recognize the early signs of alcohol poisoning The theme songs from "The Brady Bunch," "Gilligan's Island," "The Beverly Hillbillies," etc. How to look up dirty words in the dictionary  happy friday! | |
- E-mail - orgNote -  Report post to moderator |
 Oh shit, my hat done fell off | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
In elementary school:
(when you "put your foot in "during freeze tag) Tarzan swing Tarzan fall Tarzan bust his titty ball, what color was his blood? Abraham Lincoln was a good old man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand, what color was his blood? Damn my school was gruesome. "I ordered no broth! Away with ye lest my cane find your backside!!"- Ralph Wiggum, Actor. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
