Two salesmen were going door to door,

and knocked on the door of a woman

who was not happy to see them.

She told them in no uncertain terms that

she did not want to hear their offer and

slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, however, the door did not close and,

in fact, bounced back open. She tried again,

really put her back into it, and slammed the door

again with the same result - the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude salesmen were sticking their foot in the door,

she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson,

when one of the men said:

"Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."

[Edited 2/10/17 1:54am]

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

BADD!!!

KingBAD said:

Two salesmen were going door to door,

and knocked on the door of a woman

who was not happy to see them.

She told them in no uncertain terms that

she did not want to hear their offer and

slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, however, the door did not close and,

in fact, bounced back open. She tried again,

really put her back into it, and slammed the door

again with the same result - the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude salesmen were sticking their foot in the door,

she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson,

when one of the men said:

"Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."

[Edited 2/10/17 1:54am]

Good one...