Hi all. I feel like I could really use help from people delicate enough to understand and appreciate the music and lyrics Prince created....so here's my story.

I'm 27. Only dated and been in love with boys my entire life until 2 years ago when I realized I started becoming...quite intrigued by lesbian love stories, bisexual women and just the whole idea of a woman making love to another woman.

Dated a girl I met from a community for 4~5 months last year just to try out. I didn't like her that much but I just wanted to find out if I am who I think I am. She knew that and she was fine with it.

But obviously that dating thing didn't work out. It was a mess from the start to the very end. But it did teach me one thing; I could get sexual with women if I try.

Still, even at that point I was afraid to fully admit that I was bisexual. I guess this is one of the many forms of homophobia. Though I never had problems with my family members or friends being gay, something was still holding me back from accepting my own sexual identity....how messed up is that.

Anyways it took me some time but fast-forward to now, 2017, I identify as a bisexual female. Not because I'd found out that I could get sexual with women last year....but thanks to this another straight woman in my life that I had really strong feelings towards for months now. The feelings continued to grow and they just became something so significant that I just couldn't ignore them anymore. So yes thanks to her, I identify as a bisexual female.

It may not seem like a huge step but admitting my own sexuality is a major progress for me....anyways...now....How and where do I go from here?

I met some people through communities who know about me, but they are not my real-life friends yet.

Came out to one friend, an ex-coworker who's super liberal and she said I was the only queer person she knew, and for that she loved and appreicated me. Ok then...

I also tried to come out to my sister last week (or should I say I just testing the waters), I asked her about the lesbian film that's popular in theaters now that she went to go see with her boyfriend. She told me her boyfriend really hated it, and she thought the love making scene was a little too much for her to bare, and it made her really uncomfortable. So yeah, the conversation stopped there.

I guess what I'm asking is...it took me years to figure out who I really am, and it took me two additional years to build up the courage to fully admit who I am internally. I really don't want to waste more time delaying doing things that will help me just live my life and be myself, but coming out to people around me...seems like another big challenge.

So if you have an advice, a judgement, or anything, something to tell me right now....please do tell me. a similar story to share,,,I'd also welcome that. Thanks.

I've been bisexual pretty much all my life (26 years, I'll be 27 in April). My first crush was Sharon Stone. I must have only been about 11 at the time. There was no real "awakening" or anything like that for me because it allways just felt, for lack of a better word, normal. I didn't have a typical "coming out" either. If I found a boy to be attractive, I'd say it. If I found a girl to be attractive, I'd say it. All my friends in school (all 3 of them) knew I was bisexual. My first kiss with a girl was with a straight friend who was drunk and wanted to see what it was like. My mum didn't care until I was in a relationship with another girl. Maybe then it became real to her or whatever. She never liked the idea of me dating girls. She'd say it's ok to experiment but that's where the line should be. She wasn't homophobic or anything like that. I think she was just looking out for me in a roundabout way.

As for advice on coming out, there's nothing really to it. As long as you've come to accept yourself for who you are, then there's nothing to worry about. Of course there are still some backward thinking people out there but we're well into the 21St century. Most people won't judge you and the few that will wouldn't be worth knowing anyway. Maybe the best way for you to do it is just hint at your interests in passing. That way, if family or friends pick up on the hints and ask directly, it might be easier to say. I always find it easier responding to questions than volunteering information.

However you choose to go about it, I wish you good luck.

I can just say, if your sister felt uncomfertable with that movie, it doesnt say anything about you. You dont need her approval. You just wannna tell her who you are. If you truly accept yourself, it shouldnt be too hard.

EmmaMcG said:

I don't have any real life experience about this but I would just add from a mother's perspective I think it's cool that yours was at least ok with your experimentation. I'm guessing her hesitation is merely due to her wanting the best life experience for you and she is afraid the lesbian road would be a harder one to walk in life. That's all.
As far as the OP I think your family and friends will figure it out soon enough if they haven't already without you having to make a big to-do about coming out. Give it some time, drop some hints, just be yourself I guess is all the hints you need to give maybe. Wait for them to bring up the subject first. But after some more time if they just don't seem willing to do that you could very matter-of-fact mention for instance you are going to the movies tonight with your current girlfriend _____(Susie or whatever her name is). Maybe even add you would like for them to meet her sometime soon and suggest a time and place? That should certainly start the dialogue at least.

EmmaMcG said:

I've been bisexual pretty much all my life (26 years, I'll be 27 in April). My first crush was Sharon Stone. I must have only been about 11 at the time. There was no real "awakening" or anything like that for me because it allways just felt, for lack of a better word, normal. I didn't have a typical "coming out" either. If I found a boy to be attractive, I'd say it. If I found a girl to be attractive, I'd say it. All my friends in school (all 3 of them) knew I was bisexual. My first kiss with a girl was with a straight friend who was drunk and wanted to see what it was like. My mum didn't care until I was in a relationship with another girl. Maybe then it became real to her or whatever. She never liked the idea of me dating girls. She'd say it's ok to experiment but that's where the line should be. She wasn't homophobic or anything like that. I think she was just looking out for me in a roundabout way. As for advice on coming out, there's nothing really to it. As long as you've come to accept yourself for who you are, then there's nothing to worry about. Of course there are still some backward thinking people out there but we're well into the 21St century. Most people won't judge you and the few that will wouldn't be worth knowing anyway. Maybe the best way for you to do it is just hint at your interests in passing. That way, if family or friends pick up on the hints and ask directly, it might be easier to say. I always find it easier responding to questions than volunteering information. However you choose to go about it, I wish you good luck.

Thank you so much for that, I feel much better and almost proud of myself for being able to accept who I am thanks to your comment. Some personal questions since you've told me about yourself a bit., can you see yourself marrying another woman? Clearly your mom won't be ok with that idea right...? And if so would u still try to talk to her and try your best to let her know that it's ok and that she shouldn't worry and all that?

nextedition said:

I can just say, if your sister felt uncomfertable with that movie, it doesnt say anything about you. You dont need her approval. You just wannna tell her who you are. If you truly accept yourself, it shouldnt be too hard.

I never looked at it that way, thanks for enlightening me. That's very true...it's just the fear of losing people who are so dear to me. My gut tells me that my sister and I won't have the same relationship as we do now if I decide to tell her that I'm bisexual. but yeah it is one of my new years resolution to come out to my sister haha..

sonshine said:

EmmaMcG said:

I've been bisexual pretty much all my life (26 years, I'll be 27 in April). My first crush was Sharon Stone. I must have only been about 11 at the time. There was no real "awakening" or anything like that for me because it allways just felt, for lack of a better word, normal. I didn't have a typical "coming out" either. If I found a boy to be attractive, I'd say it. If I found a girl to be attractive, I'd say it. All my friends in school (all 3 of them) knew I was bisexual. My first kiss with a girl was with a straight friend who was drunk and wanted to see what it was like. My mum didn't care until I was in a relationship with another girl. Maybe then it became real to her or whatever. She never liked the idea of me dating girls. She'd say it's ok to experiment but that's where the line should be. She wasn't homophobic or anything like that. I think she was just looking out for me in a roundabout way. As for advice on coming out, there's nothing really to it. As long as you've come to accept yourself for who you are, then there's nothing to worry about. Of course there are still some backward thinking people out there but we're well into the 21St century. Most people won't judge you and the few that will wouldn't be worth knowing anyway. Maybe the best way for you to do it is just hint at your interests in passing. That way, if family or friends pick up on the hints and ask directly, it might be easier to say. I always find it easier responding to questions than volunteering information. However you choose to go about it, I wish you good luck.

I don't have any real life experience about this but I would just add from a mother's perspective I think it's cool that yours was at least ok with your experimentation. I'm guessing her hesitation is merely due to her wanting the best life experience for you and she is afraid the lesbian road would be a harder one to walk in life. That's all. As far as the OP I think your family and friends will figure it out soon enough if they haven't already without you having to make a big to-do about coming out. Give it some time, drop some hints, just be yourself I guess is all the hints you need to give maybe. Wait for them to bring up the subject first. But after some more time if they just don't seem willing to do that you could very matter-of-fact mention for instance you are going to the movies tonight with your current girlfriend ________(Susie or whatever her name is). Maybe even add you would like for them to meet her sometime soon and suggest a time and place? That should certainly start the dialogue at least.

Nice, thanks I feel much more confident about myself, now that;s a step I can take I think! "Drop some hints" as in, be more verbal about how I find certain women very attractive and stuff right lol?

IheartCali said:

Well, my mum died 2 and a half years ago so I'd never get her blessing if the situation ever arose. But I don't think she'd have had TOO much of an issue with me marrying a girl. I'm not going to say she was a great mother by any means but I can say that she tried. She tried to make sure her children were happy so as long as I was happy, she'd be OK with it, I think. She was never really cut out to be a parent. She was 15 when my sister was born and 16 when she had me so she was still a child herself so she didn't really know how to be a mother. I basically raised my younger brother and my little sister lives with my older sister now so they're in good hands as far as parenting goes.

In response to your question about whether I could see myself marrying a woman, I'd say yes. I don't necessarily believe that marriage is required in order to be with the person you love but whether it's a man or a woman, it makes no difference to me.

IheartCali said:

I understand what you are saying and its a cliche, but if you are loosing who are dear to you by telling them who you are...well you know. But dont forget to give them time. You had time to get used to it, they didnt.