Manchester By The Sea (2016)

A quality movie that packs several emotional wallops. Casey Affleck's performance justified the hype. Lucas Hedges is a standout. Moonlight remains the best film of 2016 in my view, but this one is going to take home a little gold in February too.

[Edited 2/3/17 6:30am]

.

8/10. Really good, very unsettling at times, loved the different layers of the story.

.

.

9/10. German movies that's making some waves, in the US, too, I believe. It's about a woman who is a successful consultant working in Bukarest and her father who wants to be closer to her again. It's funny, tragic, sad, true.

Sing Street is a very nice and enjoyable film, i loved it, but the plot is weak as hell.

214 said:

Today I was conversing with a very good friend of mine, and I promised him that I would watch some more bad movies so that I could entertain you guys on the Org with my hilarious and usually-possibly-slightly-well actually never-plagiarized reviews.

Good gosh did I hit one out of the park just now!

Wait - there's something I have to do right now. ALERT ALERT ALERT - PURPLEJEDI, you HAVE to read this review. Everyone - make sure you tell PurpleJedi to read this review!

I watched this ridiculous, horrible, trainwreck.....no - multiple mid-air collision between seven passenger jets all filled with orphans - of a movie called "War on Everyone". But first, a digression:

Screw Netflix!!!!! They don't have SQUAT available when it comes to movies! Did you know this? I didn't, until I tried to watch my original first choice today, which was the American Canadian classic "Porky's". Have you ever seen "Porky's"? IT IS AWESOME. I was all fired up to watch it, figuring "Hey - I know Netflix doesn't have first-run movies, or good movies generally, or really much of anything except 'Real Husbands of Hollywood' (the funniest TV show of this decade!), but SURELY they have an early-80's teen romp comedy like 'Porky's'. Let the hilarity begin!"

They don't have "Porky's".

What the actual F?!?

There - rant over. Except - SCREW NETFLIX! I should make my son pay for it, he's the one that watches all the documentaries.

So then I went to Plan B. Well, actually I went to Plan C. Plan B would be to watch something on our Dish TV, except that I'm on a mountain and the Dish TV we have still uses ten movie channels where you have to watch a movie when it comes on. No movies-on-demand, and no pausing either. I tell you, if it wasn't for the fact this house in right on the ski slopes and I ski pretty much every day, man would I be upset.

Plan C then is signing onto my DirecTV account from home and ordering up a movie. Which I did. MISTAKE #1. This turkey cost me $10.99 to watch on my computer. Are you kidding me? But I paid it. MISTAKE #2. Then I began watching it. MISTAKE #3. And then I watched it all the way to the end. MISTAKE #4.

This movie is horrible. Absolute rubbish. But I thought it would be great, because it's called "War on Everyone", and the tag line said "They have the right to remain violent" (awesome!), and the description said "Two cops get disgusted and take the law into their own hands, killing everyone" (how could this miss?!?), and finally some critics said it was good.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And....wrong.

The other reason I picked this movie is because it has Alexander Skarsgård in it. I've never seen anything with Alexander Skarsgård in it, but the guy has an "o" over one of his letters, and his name sounds pretty bad-a**. He should be worth the price of admission, right?

Nope - but PurpleJedi's doppelganger was!

The co-star in this movie is a guy named Michael Peña, who also has a squiggly character over his name. I forgot I knew who Michael Peña is, but now that I've Googled him (mainly so I could create the squiggly line, and so I could show you his picture), I remember him from "Shooter" and "Ant Man". But none of that matters. What matters is:

THIS DUDE IS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF PURPLEJEDI! Here is Peña:




Y'all didn't know PurpleJedi was so handsome, did you?!? He is! (I'm not posting any pics of PurpleJedi out of respect for the fact that he respects that I did 1,000 push-ups yesterday.)

So we have this movie starring a guy with an "o" over his name, and PurpleJedi's long-lost twin brother. I'm sad to say Scarlet Johannsen wasn't in this movie but if she had been, well we all know PurpleJedi would have already created 25 threads with pictures of Peña and ScarJo making out, all with the thread title "THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE SHOULD BE".

The movie begins with Skarsgård and Peña chasing down a mime with their car. Awesome! Who doesn't want to see a mime run over! And that's EXACTLY what Skarsgård and Peña do! They run this mime over in Skarsgård's cool 1974 Chevy Malibu. The mime had a duffel bag full of cocaine so even though he probably deserved being run over just for being a mime, he was also a drug pusher.

But then the worst thing happened: Paul Reiser showed up. Yes, that Paul Reiser. The generation after mine's ultimate whiner. "Why did you use all the toothpaste? Who ate my bagel? What about myyyyy neeeeeeeeeeds!" Ugh, that guy. But do you know what's worse than Paul Reiser showing up?

Watching a movie in which Paul Reiser is the best actor in it. That pretty much sums up "War on Everyone" so you know you should never watch this movie.

Skarsgård and Peña stumble on to some giant caper while at the Albuquerque Balloon Museum. Oh - that's the other reason I watched this movie to the end. It's set in ABQ, which is about 3 hours from where I've spent the last month, and is an OK town. I wondered if I see anything or anyone I recognized. (I didn't.)

One thing leads to another and they find out that there's going to be a robbery in which $1 million dollars is taken. Skarsgård and Peña decide they are going to catch the robbers and take all the money for themselves. Why they decide this, no one knows but let's use this opportunity to explore the characters played by Skarsgård and Peña:

They're totally unlikable. They are complete a-holes. They are not the good guys. They are not the funny guys. Skarsgård is a complete drunk with no redeeming features whatsoever except that cool '74 Malibu. One of the movie's attempts at a running gag is showing the Malibu run into all kinds of stuff - trash cans, parked cars, buildings - and yet it never gets a scratch. EXCEPT when they ran over the mime, the windshield shattered (it was magically replaced the next time you see the car). It's like they started filming this movie and two days in decided, "Hey, you know what would be funny? If the car never gets damaged, despite running into three tons of objects!" And then "Yeah, but boss - we already filmed running over the mime and we shattered the windshield. So we have to reshoot that scene". To which the director says, "No, we won't. We'll leave it as-is and people will find it ironically funny!"

No, we won't.

Peña's character is an even worse a-hole. All he does is drop F-bombs, usually in the direction of his two young sons. It's disgusting and it's something I know for a dead-solid fact PurpleJedi would never do. So this is where the Michael Peña/PurpleJedi comparisons end.

Back to the story: As you may have guessed, running over a mime has put Skarsgård and Peña on thin ice with Gruff Police Chief Paul Reiser. "One more screw-up and you're out!" whines Reiser.

Naturally, Skarsgård and Peña spend the rest of the movie screwing up but the chickens don't come home to roost until the end.

Skarsgård and Peña develop a couple of snitches, who are supposed to give the details of the when and where on the heist to Skarsgård and Peña in return for some of the loot. But they lie to Skarsgård and Peña and the heist takes place successfully. One of the snitches hightails it to Iceland with a bunch of money, so that's where Skarsgård and Peña go.

The snitch is an African-American. "How are we going to find him in this frozen tundra?" asks Skarsgård. Looking out over the sea of white Icelanders, Peña says "Shouldn't be hard to find him in this crowd. There he is!" And they called this movie a comedy?!? Blech, there was only one funny line in the whole movie and I'll tell you about it soon.

Skarsgård and Peña catch the snitch who sadly informs them that he only has $200,000 of the $1 million, as he had to give the rest to the Big British Crime Boss. Skarsgård and Peña demand $100,000 from the snitch who, unbelievably, gives it to them. Even though he is in Iceland, and I am pretty sure ABQ cops have no jurisdiction in Iceland. But who cares? I already knew by this point in the movie that it was going to be one of the all-time turkeys, so I quit caring about things like "facts" and "plot" and "consistency".

Skarsgård and Peña get back to ABQ where they are attacked by a strip club owner who was mean to the stripper that Skarsgård is now shacking up with, which means that Skarsgård and Peña must crash the '74 Malibu into Tha Club, which results in a chase into another building. The strip club owner - played by Caleb Landry Jones doing his best imitation of a character from "A Clockwork Orange" - is cornered by Skarsgård on the roof. Why the roof? Who in their right mind climbs to the roof of the only skyscraper in Albuquerque? There is literally nowhere to go but down!

Or in this case, into the fists of Skarsgård, who literally beats Jones to a pulp and causes Jones to lose an eye. Now to the ONLY funny line in this movie:

At the final showdown, Jones is part of a mob that thinks they're going to attack and kill Skarsgård and Peña. Skarsgård looks at the one-eyed, eye-patch-wearing Jones and says, "Look - I know we haven't always seen eye to eye". Ahhhhhhahahahahahaha! That's it for all the funny stuff in this movie!

Skarsgård and Peña begin the hunt for the Big British Crime Boss who is into: Drugs. Horse Racing. Robbery. Boxing. Orgies. Smoking. And child porn. Yep, he's a REALLY bad guy.

A bunch of stupid stuff happens. Skarsgård drives into a bar (literally) and gets really drunk, whereupon he is snatched by the Big British Crime Boss and beaten up. But ultimately let go, because even though the Big British Crime Boss is into everything up to and including child porn, he draws the line at killing cops. Other stupid stuff: Skarsgård and Peña walk into a house where the wife has just stabbed the husband. Skarsgård sees the young son run away, but later spots him homeless on the street, so naturally he adopts him. BTW, Skarsgård lives in a million-dollar home that he refuses to say how he affords on a cop's salary. Even more stupid stuff: The Big British Crime Boss somehow unexplainably finds out there were two snitches; finds the one still in ABQ; and lops off his head with a sword.

You saw this coming, but of course Skarsgård and Peña are kicked off the police force. So the next thing that happens is that the Big British Crime Boss calls Skarsgård and Peña and says, "I have the rest of the money from the heist and if you'll come to the warehouse where I film my child porn, I'll give it to you". They go, but guess what?

The Big British Crime Boss has no intention of giving them any money! He wants to kill them instead! Of all the nerve.

However, Skarsgård and Peña magically make 15 guns appear and they shoot all the bad guys. Skarsgård, who is still mad at strip club owner Caleb Landry Jones/this guy:




shoots him in the groin and then laughs at him as he bleeds out.

Although they never show it, Skarsgård and Peña get all the money and retire comfortably to Iceland with their families, where they spend all their time at the Blue Lagoon.

Guess what? I found out while writing this that this turkey hasn't even been released yet! It comes out on February 3. I guess I got an advance screening on account of DirecTV loves me. Or hates me. In any event, they stole $10.99 of my money!

I rate "War on Everyone" at 0.5 of PurpleJedi's "I'm really going to work out in 2017!" Promises out of a possible 328 PurpleJedi's "I'm really going to work out in 2017!" Promises.

I highly recommend that you never watch this movie and instead cultivate your relationship with PurpleJedi, who is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet.

.

[Edited 1/13/17 8:25am]

tower - incredibly compelling (mostly) animated documentary about the 1966 university of texas tower shooting. as tense & nerve-racking as any movie or show i've ever seen. 4/5

hell or high water - heist movie elevated by completely believable characters. 4.5/5

[Edited 1/10/17 18:57pm]

RodeoSchro said:

Today I was conversing with a very good friend of mine, and I promised him that I would watch some more bad movies so that I could entertain you guys on the Org with my hilarious and usually-possibly-slightly-well actually never-plagiarized reviews.

Good gosh did I hit one out of the park just now!

Wait - there's something I have to do right now. ALERT ALERT ALERT - PURPLEJEDI, you HAVE to read this review. Everyone - make sure you tell PurpleJedi to read this review!

I watched this ridiculous, horrible, trainwreck.....no - multiple mid-air collision between seven passenger jets all filled with orphans - of a movie called "War on Everyone". But first, a digression:

Screw Netflix!!!!! They don't have SQUAT available when it comes to movies! Did you know this? I didn't, until I tried to watch my original first choice today, which was the American classic "Porky's". Have you ever seen "Porky's"? IT IS AWESOME. I was all fired up to watch it, figuring "Hey - I know Netflix doesn't have first-run movies, or good movies generally, or really much of anything except 'Real Husbands of Hollywood' (the funniest TV show of this decade!), but SURELY they have an early-80's teen romp comedy like 'Porky's'. Let the hilarity begin!"

They don't have "Porky's".

What the actual F?!?

There - rant over. Except - SCREW NETFLIX! I should make my son pay for it, he's the one that watches all the documentaries.

So then I went to Plan B. Well, actually I went to Plan C. Plan B would be to watch something on our Dish TV, except that I'm on a mountain and the Dish TV we have still uses ten movie channels where you have to watch a movie when it comes on. No movies-on-demand, and no pausing either. I tell you, if it wasn't for the fact this house in right on the ski slopes and I ski pretty much every day, man would I be upset.

Plan C then is signing onto my DirecTV account from home and ordering up a movie. Which I did. MISTAKE #1. This turkey cost me $10.99 to watch on my computer. Are you kidding me? But I paid it. MISTAKE #2. Then I began watching it. MISTAKE #3. And then I watched it all the way to the end. MISTAKE #4.

This movie is horrible. Absolute rubbish. But I thought it would be great, because it's called "War on Everyone", and the tag line said "They have the right to remain violent" (awesome!), and the description said "Two cops get disgusted and take the law into their own hands, killing everyone" (how could this miss?!?), and finally some critics said it was good.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And....wrong.

The other reason I picked this movie is because it has Alexander Skarsgård in it. I've never seen anything with Alexander Skarsgård in it, but the guy has an "o" over one of his letters, and his name sounds pretty bad-a**. He should be worth the price of admission, right?

Nope - but PurpleJedi's doppelganger was!

The co-star in this movie is a guy named Michael Peña, who also has a squiggly character over his name. I forgot I knew who Michael Peña is, but now that I've Googled him (mainly so I could create the squiggly line, and so I could show you his picture), I remember him from "Shooter" and "Ant Man". But none of that matters. What matters is:

THIS DUDE IS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF PURPLEJEDI! Here is Peña:




Y'all didn't know PurpleJedi was so handsome, did you?!? He is! (I'm not posting any pics of PurpleJedi out of respect for the fact that he respects that I did 1,000 push-ups yesterday.)

So we have this movie starring a guy with an "o" over his name, and PurpleJedi's long-lost twin brother. I'm sad to say Scarlet Johannsen wasn't in this movie but if she had been, well we all know PurpleJedi would have already created 25 threads with pictures of Peña and ScarJo making out, all with the thread title "THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE SHOULD BE".

The movie begins with Skarsgård and Peña chasing down a mime with their car. Awesome! Who doesn't want to see a mime run over! And that's EXACTLY what Skarsgård and Peña do! They run this mime over in Skarsgård's cool 1974 Chevy Malibu. The mime had a duffel bag full of cocaine so even though he probably deserved being run over just for being a mime, he was also a drug pusher.

But then the worst thing happened: Paul Reiser showed up. Yes, that Paul Reiser. The generation after mine's ultimate whiner. "Why did you use all the toothpaste? Who ate my bagel? What about myyyyy neeeeeeeeeeds!" Ugh, that guy. But do you know what's worse than Paul Reiser showing up?

Watching a movie in which Paul Reiser is the best actor in it. That pretty much sums up "War on Everyone" so you know you should never watch this movie.

Skarsgård and Peña stumble on to some giant caper while at the Albuquerque Balloon Museum. Oh - that's the other reason I watched this movie to the end. It's set in ABQ, which is about 3 hours from where I've spent the last month, and is an OK town. I wondered if I see anything or anyone I recognized. (I didn't.)

One thing leads to another and they find out that there's going to be a robbery in which $1 million dollars is taken. Skarsgård and Peña decide they are going to catch the robbers and take all the money for themselves. Why they decide this, no one knows but let's use this opportunity to explore the characters played by Skarsgård and Peña:

They're totally unlikable. They are complete a-holes. They are not the good guys. They are not the funny guys. Skarsgård is a complete drunk with no redeeming features whatsoever except that cool '74 Malibu. One of the movie's attempts at a running gag is showing the Malibu run into all kinds of stuff - trash cans, parked cars, buildings - and yet it never gets a scratch. EXCEPT when they ran over the mime, the windshield shattered (it was magically replaced the next time you see the car). It's like they started filming this movie and two days in decided, "Hey, you know what would be funny? If the car never gets damaged, despite running into three tons of objects!" And then "Yeah, but boss - we already filmed running over the mime and we shattered the windshield. So we have to reshoot that scene". To which the director says, "No, we won't. We'll leave it as-is and people will find it ironically funny!"

No, we won't.

Peña's character is an even worse a-hole. All he does is drop F-bombs, usually in the direction of his two young sons. It's disgusting and it's something I know for a dead-solid fact PurpleJedi would never do. So this is where the Michael Peña/PurpleJedi comparisons end.

Back to the story: As you may have guessed, running over a mime has put Skarsgård and Peña on thin ice with Gruff Police Chief Paul Reiser. "One more screw-up and you're out!" whines Reiser.

Naturally, Skarsgård and Peña spend the rest of the movie screwing up but the chickens don't come home to roost until the end.

Skarsgård and Peña develop a couple of snitches, who are supposed to give the details of the when and where on the heist to Skarsgård and Peña in return for some of the loot. But they lie to Skarsgård and Peña and the heist takes place successfully. One of the snitches hightails it to Iceland with a bunch of money, so that's where Skarsgård and Peña go.

The snitch is an African-American. "How are we going to find him in this frozen tundra?" asks Skarsgård. Looking out over the sea of white Icelanders, Peña says "Shouldn't be hard to find him in this crowd. There he is!" And they called this movie a comedy?!? Blech, there was only one funny line in the whole movie and I'll tell you about it soon.

Skarsgård and Peña catch the snitch who sadly informs them that he only has $200,000 of the $1 million, as he had to give the rest to the Big British Crime Boss. Skarsgård and Peña demand $100,000 from the snitch who, unbelievably, gives it to them. Even though he is in Iceland, and I am pretty sure ABQ cops have no jurisdiction in Iceland. But who cares? I already knew by this point in the movie that it was going to be one of the all-time turkeys, so I quit caring about things like "facts" and "plot" and "consistency".

Skarsgård and Peña get back to ABQ where they are attacked by a strip club owner who was mean to the stripper that Skarsgård is now shacking up with, which means that Skarsgård and Peña must crash the '74 Malibu into Tha Club, which results in a chase into another building. The strip club owner - played by Caleb Landry Jones doing his best imitation of a character from "A Clockwork Orange" - is cornered by Skarsgård on the roof. Why the roof? Who in their right mind climbs to the roof of the only skyscraper in Albuquerque? There is literally nowhere to go but down!

Or in this case, into the fists of Skarsgård, who literally beats Jones to a pulp and causes Jones to lose an eye. Now to the ONLY funny line in this movie:

At the final showdown, Jones is part of a mob that thinks they're going to attack and kill Skarsgård and Peña. Skarsgård looks at the one-eyed, eye-patch-wearing Jones and says, "Look - I know we haven't always seen eye to eye". Ahhhhhhahahahahahaha! That's it for all the funny stuff in this movie!

Skarsgård and Peña begin the hunt for the Big British Crime Boss who is into: Drugs. Horse Racing. Robbery. Boxing. Orgies. Smoking. And child porn. Yep, he's a REALLY bad guy.

A bunch of stupid stuff happens. Skarsgård drives into a bar (literally) and gets really drunk, whereupon he is snatched by the Big British Crime Boss and beaten up. But ultimately let go, because even though the Big British Crime Boss is into everything up to and including child porn, he draws the line at killing cops. Other stupid stuff: Skarsgård and Peña walk into a house where the wife has just stabbed the husband. Skarsgård sees the young son run away, but later spots him homeless on the street, so naturally he adopts him. BTW, Skarsgård lives in a million-dollar home that he refuses to say how he affords on a cop's salary. Even more stupid stuff: The Big British Crime Boss somehow unexplainably finds out there were two snitches; finds the one still in ABQ; and lops off his head with a sword.

You saw this coming, but of course Skarsgård and Peña are kicked off the police force. So the next thing that happens is that the Big British Crime Boss calls Skarsgård and Peña and says, "I have the rest of the money from the heist and if you'll come to the warehouse where I film my child porn, I'll give it to you". They go, but guess what?

The Big British Crime Boss has no intention of giving them any money! He wants to kill them instead! Of all the nerve.

However, Skarsgård and Peña magically make 15 guns appear and they shoot all the bad guys. Skarsgård, who is still mad at strip club owner Caleb Landry Jones/this guy:




shoots him in the groin and then laughs at him as he bleeds out.

Although they never show it, Skarsgård and Peña get all the money and retire comfortably to Iceland with their families, where they spend all their time at the Blue Lagoon.

Guess what? I found out while writing this that this turkey hasn't even been released yet! It comes out on February 3. I guess I got an advance screening on account of DirecTV loves me. Or hates me. In any event, they stole $10.99 of my money!

I rate "War on Everyone" at 0.5 of PurpleJedi's "I'm really going to work out in 2017!" Promises out of a possible 328 PurpleJedi's "I'm really going to work out in 2017!" Promises.

I highly recommend that you never watch this movie and instead cultivate your relationship with PurpleJedi, who is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet.

.

[Edited 1/10/17 19:34pm]

Phishanga said:

.

.

9/10. German movies that's making some waves, in the US, too, I believe. It's about a woman who is a successful consultant working in Bukarest and her father who wants to be closer to her again. It's funny, tragic, sad, true.

I'd love to see this. Glad to hear that it is good

Rear Window

Easy, 4.5/5 stars for me. Such a fun, entertaining film to watch, and I'm obsessed with the set.






Vertigo

A favorite and a classic. 5/5

Hidden Figures

Such a beautiful and inspirational story; beats me why it took Hollywood so long to tell it. Really good acting too... And I loved the costumes/wardrobe 4/5 stars


.

[Edited 1/11/17 15:04pm]

Skiptrace. a funny, solid, comedy-action film. jackie chan and johnny knoxville, what's not to love??

[Edited 1/11/17 15:21pm]

Flashdance (1983) I still love the film even though Jennifer Beals didn't do alot of the dancing (those breakdance moves in the final audtion gave it away that it was a guy in a wig ). But I give this 80s classic a 4 out of 5 for the music and the story about following your dreams.

Goddess4Real said:

Flashdance (1983) I still love the film even though Jennifer Beals didn't do alot of the dancing (those breakdance moves in the final audtion gave it away that it was a guy in a wig ). But I give this 80s classic a 4 out of 5 for the music and the story about following your dreams.

‘Flashdance,’ 30 Years Later: B-Boy Recalls Girling Up for Final Scene

meriah

Movie TalkApril 15, 2013

Breakdancer Crazy Legs, left, doubled for Jennifer Beals in 'Flashdance'

More

What started as an inner-city pastime became a global phenomenon when a 90-second breakdancing scene appeared in the hit 1983 film "Flashdance." "So many people went back to the theater just to see that one scene," Richard Colón, aka Crazy Legs, told Yahoo! Movies.

Colón, one of breakdancing's foremost pioneers, was just 16 years old when he and some of his Rock Steady crew appeared in one of the most memorable sequences in the film. "It's been a great experience," Colón recalled.

.

The breakdancing in "Flashdance" wasn't just limited to Rock Steady's scene. The film's lead character also busts out a breakdance move during her iconic final dance sequence, set to Irene Cara's "What a Feeling."

A not-so-well-kept secret about lead actress Jennifer Beals is that she had a lot of help when it came to the memorable moves of her feverishly dancing character, Alex Owens. Most of her dance scenes were done with the help of a body double, French actress and dancer Marine Jahan.

But it was Beals's final scene wherein she got the most help. Jahan performed most of it, but certain moves required specialized expertise. Gymnast Sharon Shapiro performed the flips, and one certain breakdance move was done by a male breakdancer -- Colón himself. "Being the first person in hip-hop to dress in drag -- I had to deal with that for years," the 47-year-old joked.

The producers of the film didn't plan to put Colón in the pivotal scene but were forced to out of necessity. No one could learn his backspin move, he recalled. He remembered Jahan and Shapiro showing up with bruises on their hips after many failed attempts to follow his breakdance coaching.

When Colón was finally approached to dress and dance as Beals's character, he said with a laugh, "I just rubbed my fingers together because of that money," explaining that it was a lot to ask of a Puerto Rican teen from the Bronx to shave his legs, underarms, and mustache. "Especially the mustache because … I was a young kid and I'm finally getting my little machismo thing going on. And now, I have to shave my mustache off."

.

Now, 30 years later, Colón knows what an impact he had on dance culture around the world. But back then, he said of his Rock Steady crew, "We were such male 'hood rats … I don’t believe I had an appreciation for what was happening."

Richard Colón

More

And a global phenomenon it was. Colón recalled traveling the world with Rock Steady -- including those who appeared in the film: the late Wayne Frost, aka Frosty Freeze; Norman Scott, aka Normski (the child b-boy); Kenneth Gabbert, aka Prince Ken Swift; and Marc Lemberger, aka Mr. Freeze (who sported an umbrella while dancing in the film). "It was our recreation, and we just happened to start getting paid for doing what we normally do," Colón said. "We'd go to Poland, we'd go to Russia or China," said Lemberger, who also spoke to Yahoo! Movies in honor of the 30th anniversary of "Flashdance." "It’s amazing, and it's because of that movie," Lemberger said, adding, "I did the backslide with the umbrella two years before Michael Jackson did it on Motown."

Both Colón and Lemberger -- the only two remaining original members of Rock Steady -- revealed that they still receive residual checks from "Flashdance" today. "It’s not like we went from rags to riches," Colón said, "[but] we were legitimately dealt with on that level, and it was appreciated."

purplethunder3121 said:

Goddess4Real said:

Flashdance (1983) I still love the film even though Jennifer Beals didn't do alot of the dancing (those breakdance moves in the final audtion gave it away that it was a guy in a wig ). But I give this 80s classic a 4 out of 5 for the music and the story about following your dreams.

‘Flashdance,’ 30 Years Later: B-Boy Recalls Girling Up for Final Scene

meriah

Movie TalkApril 15, 2013

Breakdancer Crazy Legs, left, doubled for Jennifer Beals in 'Flashdance'

More

What started as an inner-city pastime became a global phenomenon when a 90-second breakdancing scene appeared in the hit 1983 film "Flashdance." "So many people went back to the theater just to see that one scene," Richard Colón, aka Crazy Legs, told Yahoo! Movies.

Colón, one of breakdancing's foremost pioneers, was just 16 years old when he and some of his Rock Steady crew appeared in one of the most memorable sequences in the film. "It's been a great experience," Colón recalled.

.

The breakdancing in "Flashdance" wasn't just limited to Rock Steady's scene. The film's lead character also busts out a breakdance move during her iconic final dance sequence, set to Irene Cara's "What a Feeling."

A not-so-well-kept secret about lead actress Jennifer Beals is that she had a lot of help when it came to the memorable moves of her feverishly dancing character, Alex Owens. Most of her dance scenes were done with the help of a body double, French actress and dancer Marine Jahan.

But it was Beals's final scene wherein she got the most help. Jahan performed most of it, but certain moves required specialized expertise. Gymnast Sharon Shapiro performed the flips, and one certain breakdance move was done by a male breakdancer -- Colón himself. "Being the first person in hip-hop to dress in drag -- I had to deal with that for years," the 47-year-old joked.

The producers of the film didn't plan to put Colón in the pivotal scene but were forced to out of necessity. No one could learn his backspin move, he recalled. He remembered Jahan and Shapiro showing up with bruises on their hips after many failed attempts to follow his breakdance coaching.

When Colón was finally approached to dress and dance as Beals's character, he said with a laugh, "I just rubbed my fingers together because of that money," explaining that it was a lot to ask of a Puerto Rican teen from the Bronx to shave his legs, underarms, and mustache. "Especially the mustache because … I was a young kid and I'm finally getting my little machismo thing going on. And now, I have to shave my mustache off."

.

Now, 30 years later, Colón knows what an impact he had on dance culture around the world. But back then, he said of his Rock Steady crew, "We were such male 'hood rats … I don’t believe I had an appreciation for what was happening."

Richard Colón

More

And a global phenomenon it was. Colón recalled traveling the world with Rock Steady -- including those who appeared in the film: the late Wayne Frost, aka Frosty Freeze; Norman Scott, aka Normski (the child b-boy); Kenneth Gabbert, aka Prince Ken Swift; and Marc Lemberger, aka Mr. Freeze (who sported an umbrella while dancing in the film). "It was our recreation, and we just happened to start getting paid for doing what we normally do," Colón said. "We'd go to Poland, we'd go to Russia or China," said Lemberger, who also spoke to Yahoo! Movies in honor of the 30th anniversary of "Flashdance." "It’s amazing, and it's because of that movie," Lemberger said, adding, "I did the backslide with the umbrella two years before Michael Jackson did it on Motown."

Both Colón and Lemberger -- the only two remaining original members of Rock Steady -- revealed that they still receive residual checks from "Flashdance" today. "It’s not like we went from rags to riches," Colón said, "[but] we were legitimately dealt with on that level, and it was appreciated."

Thanks for this I thought his name sounded familar.....The Rock Steady Crew had a few hits like this one.....Hey You - The Rock Steady Crew (1984)

I just finished "The Accountant". Boy, do I have a lot to say about this one! Starting with:

SCREW NETFLIX!

This, of course, goes back to yesterday's debacle in which - because Netflix doesn't have "Porky's" or any good movies at all - I had to pay $10.99 to access my Houston DirecTV account and watch "War on Everyone". Which, if you look up about 5 posts, you would know is the worst, dumbest movie anyone has made in a long time.

Now, I am going to spoil the heck out of "The Accountant" so this is your warning. But before I do that, let me say something that is safe for everyone to read:

THIS IS THE PART BEN AFFLECK WAS BORN TO PLAY. HIS ENTIRE RANGE, WHICH CONSISTS OF BEING WOODEN AND/OR LACONIC, IS ALL THE ACCOUNTANT EVER IS.

If you want to know why, read on! But........

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT

This movie has lots of twists, a few "WTF?!?" moments, and one surprise ending. If you keep reading, you will learn them all.

The movie begins with someone wiping out a bunch of Gambino crime family members. And one other guy is in the house, but he is apparently a cop and does not get killed. We'll come back to that in a little while, but it's important.

There are a series of flashbacks showing how young Ben Affleck became The Accountant. First of all, he's autistic. Second of all, his dad is a bad-a** Army guy. Third of all, his mother leaves him. Fourth of all, he and his brother are expected to be loyal to each other no matter what. Fifth of all, young The Accountant gets taken to a special autistic treatment place, where young The Accountant apparently befriends a young autistic girl, while bad-a** Army dad says all that the young The Accountant needs is toughness, because it's a tough world. Sixth of all, yuong The Accountant's mom leaves, which makes young The Accountant sad, and young The Accountant's brother mad. Seventh of all. bad-a** Army dad takes his boys all around the world and everywhere they live, bad-a** Army dad makes them endure incredibly hard physical training - training which always revolves around how to fight really well. Eighth of all, young The Accountant follows his bad-a** dad into the Army, although we don't really learn that until later.

This movie jumps around a lot, and trust me - you should probably watch this drunk so as to not be thinking about all the plot holes I'm about to disclose. So, maybe you should get drunk NOW so that you don't remember all the stuff I'm about to tell you.

One thing about this movie is that people are in it that I think I have seen everywhere, but have actually only seen in one thing. Take J. K. Simmons. He's a great actor. I love his as Professor Farmers in those Farmers Insurance commercials. I love him so much that every time he comes on the screen, I shouted, "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" Fortunately, I watched this movie alone, so no one was offended. Wouldn't have mattered to me, though. But as it turns out, the ONLY thing I've ever seen J. K. Simmons in are those Farmers commercials. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

Hey, you know what? Farmers Insurance ought to make a commercial with Farmers Only Dot Com. It would be EPIC. "You don't have to be lonely, at Farmers Only Dot Com. Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" If I don't see this commericial in the Super Bowl, I'm going to be sorely disappointed.

J. K. Simmons - "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" - is a Treasury Director that is seven months from retirement. I know what you're thinking - he's going to die, isn't he? No, he is NOT going to die. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

He calls an analyst into his office and says, "Here are some bad photographs of a guy that does international forensic accounting for the world's worst criminals. Also, he has probably killed dozens of people. Before I retire, we are going to find out who he is and how he's stayed alive all this time. And you, young analyst, are going to solve this because I know you're actually an ex-con who lied on her federal job application. That's a felony, so I have you trapped. And.....We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

The young analyst then spends a bunch of boring time doing impossible research, making impossible deductions, and pretty much doing a whole bunch of stuff that doesn't really matter. Because, you see, J. K. Simmons has known who The Accountant is all this time. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" Since this movie jumps around, we'll have to come back to this point later. As you will see, very soon we're going to have a lot of points to come back to later.

John Lithgow owns a company that makes cuttting-edge artificial limbs and it's about to go public. But he hires The Accountant to determine whether or not a financial anamoly that staff accountant-with-a-little-"a" Anna Kendrick has found is true or not. Now, Anna Kendrick is another actor that I could SWEAR I have seen in 1,000 different movies and/or TV shows. But I Googled her and it turns out that, like J. K. Simmons ("We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"), I have only seen her in one thing. In this case, it was "Scott Pilgrim Against the World" which is a movie I have to watch at least twice a year, as it's my daughter's favorite movie and it's one of the 10 DVDs we have up here in New Mexico. You all are way too familiar with my limited viewing options here in New Mexico, so I know you understand why we resort to watching all 10 of the DVDs we have every single time we come up here. (Three of the DVDs are "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. Pray for me.)

Also, Anna Kendrick is almost the spitting image of Tina Fey and I've seen every episode of "30 Rock" 25 times (thank you Netflix, and season 3 of "30 Rock" is one of the other 10 DVDs we have up here). Therefore, Anna Kendrick is familiar to me. I think of her like I think of my favorite pair of old socks. But strangely enough, I do NOT equate Tina Fey with old socks or any other article of clothing, new or old.

So The Accountant takes less that 24 hours to figure out that the CFO - who is owner John Lithgow's best friend of 50 years - has stolen $61,000,000 dollars. Of course, this comes as no surprise to those who watch this movie because when Ben Affleck meets the CFO, the CFO makes it a point to say, "There's no way that it was ME who ever stole any money!" So clearly he is the guy who stole the money.

Somehow, a very bad guy and his band of other very bad guys learns this and shows up at the CFO's house. He comes down for a midnight snack and the very bad guy tells him, "We know you stole the money. You're going to die. Now, we could kill you...OR, you could OD on your insulin. If you OD, people will think it's an accident and your wife will get a lot of insurance money. But if you refuse to OD on insulin, we'll still kill you and then we'll rape your wife and then we'll kill her, too. Want a syringe?" As a diabetic myself, I thought this was really mean.

The Accountant shows up the next morning and explains to Anna Kendrick how he solved the mystery. Just as he's about to finish, John Lithgow comes in and fires him and worse - he has workers erase all the calculations The Accountant has written on every piece of plastic and glass in the conference room. This means The Accountant doesn't get to "finish". This is unacceptable. The Accountant doesn't mind being terminated - after all, the crook is dead and now everyone knows the score. But he is PO'ed he didn't get to "finish".

Somehow, the very bad guys that killed the CFO also are sent to kill The Accountant and Anna Kendrick. They follow The Accountant to the farm of one of his clients, where The Accountant practices blasting cantaloupes with smiley faces on them from about a mile away. Now, I'm no assassin but I would think that trying to kill another assassin while that assassin is holding a gun with which he can shoot your cantaloupe head off from a mile away is a bad idea.

It IS a bad idea.

The Accountant dispatches all those very bad guys and then races to Anna Kendrick's apartment, where some more very bad guys are trying to kill her. The Accountant finishes all of them and takes Kendrick to safety - which in this case is the Airst.....Oh my gosh! I swear that right now there's a Farmer's commerical on TV! "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

Where was I? Oh yeah - at the storage unit where The Accountant keeps his Airstream travel trailer. It has everything - a bed, a closet, an original Renoir, an original Jackson Pollack, Luke Skywalker's first Light Sabre, and Action Comics #1 (that's the one where Superman first appeared). Also, it has a boatload of guns. Kendrick is understandably confused, but goes to a fancy hotel with The Accountant.

We haven't talked about J. K. Simmons much, so let's start with "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" He has a heart-to-heart talk with the analyst and tells her HE was the guy that went into the Gambino family apartment when The Accountant was killing all the Gambinos. Side note - he killed the Gambinos because the Gambinos killed Jeffery Tambor, who was The Accountant's mentor in Leavenworth. Jeffrey Tambor was the best money launderer around, and taught The Accountant all this tricks. I also assume he told The Accountant, "There's always money in the banana stand".

Anyway, J. K. Simmons is just about to find the last dead Gambino when The Accountant sneaks up behind him. "Are you a Gambino family member?" "No, I'm Treasury Department." "Are you a good Treasury agent?" "Actually, no. I am not a very good agent. But I have two kids." "Are you a good father?" "Yes, yes that is the one thing I am good at. I'm a good father". So The Accountant not only lets J. K. Simmons live ("We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!") but.........

The Accountant starts having his assistant call J. K. Simmons and tip Simmons off to all the major cirminals that The Accountant knows about. So you see, The Accountant is not only really a GOOD guy, but is also the person responsible for J. K. Simmons going from being a bad Treasury agent to being the Director. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

So all this rigamarole has occurred and the good guys have known who the bad guy/The Accountant is all along. And The Accountant has known who J. K. Simmons is, and who the analyst is, all along too. Other than The Accountant killing tons of very bad guys, the first 80 minutes of this movie were unnecessary. Entertaining, but unnecessary.

The Accountant - who has ditched Anna Kendrick by this time - has figured out that the REAL bad guy is actually John Lithgow, who had orchestrated all the financial shenanigans to inflate his IPO price. Lithgow has hired the very bad guys, whose boss is really a pretty cool dude, to protect him. But of course The Accountant shows up and kills all the very bad guys except for the cool boss.

Why doesn't he kill the boss of the very bad guys?

Because that guy is his long-lost brother!

They fight, then they hug, then The Accountant kills John Lithgow. Then The Accountant and his brother agree to have lunch together a week later.

The Treasury analyst is promoted to full-fledged agent, whereupon she is now the one to get the tips from The Accountant. Ain't life grand!

I liked this movie. Some parts didn't make sense but it kept my attention. The Accountant was only asked to convey two emotions - wooden or laconic. Like I said, this was the part Ben Affleck was born to play! He is Mr. Wooden and Laconic!

"The Accountant" is rated as an IPO share price of $37.75 out of a maximum possilbe IPO share price of $50. Enjoy!

RodeoSchro said:

The Accountant was only asked to convey two emotions - wooden or laconic. Like I said, this was the part Ben Affleck was born to play!

Ladies and gentlemen, I want to give a tip of my hat; a bow of appreciation; and my most sincere thanks to purplethunder3121!

P3121 hooked me up with a link to watch "Porky's" online! I am forever grateful, purplethunder3121!

BECAUSE I JUST WATCHED "PORKY'S"!!!!!

To show you how important that is, here is the Porky's Viewing And Command Center I set up, just for this ocassion:




NOT PICTURED: Alcohol. But you'd better believe there was alcohol! Also, my fire was way bigger than that but for some reason the flame flickered when I took the picture. I've had that fire going for 11 hours today!

I firmly believe the entire world would be a better place if everyone watched "Porky's". Here are the ways we would benefit as a civilization:

-We would all drive better, cooler cars

-We would all learn that prejudices and bigotry are wrong and should be eliminated

-We would all be hip to the "Mike Hunt" phone gag and never fall for it (NOTE: But most of you would still not know about the Batdick joke)

-We would all learn how to entertain ourselves without electronic aids

Now, that last point is the most important. Sure, you see some naked women, perhaps a fleeting glimpse of the male anatomy, and some condoms in this movie. But do you know what you DON'T see?

Phones!

See kiddoes - this is how it was in The Time Before Phones. We made our own fun! We used our imagination! We were never bored! Sure, we got the crap kicked out of us by the Porky's of the world every now and then, but mostly we won!

It was great.

You know what else is great? This scene:



Tell me you aren't doubled over in laughter right now!

What's the use of providing a synopsis of this American Canadian classic? You only need to know this:

Your life is not complete until you watch "Porky's". Or watch it again. Courtesy of purplethunder3121, here's the link: http://ffilms.org/porkys-1982/

Give purplethunder3121 a giant Thank-You next time you see him/her!

"Porky's" gets out of

BONUS! I just found this cool "Where are they now?" video. Enjoy!



.

[Edited 1/13/17 8:24am]

RodeoSchro said:

I just finished "The Accountant". Boy, do I have a lot to say about this one! Starting with:

SCREW NETFLIX!

This, of course, goes back to yesterday's debacle in which - because Netflix doesn't have "Porky's" or any good movies at all - I had to pay $10.99 to access my Houston DirecTV account and watch "War on Everyone". Which, if you look up about 5 posts, you would know is the worst, dumbest movie anyone has made in a long time.

Now, I am going to spoil the heck out of "The Accountant" so this is your warning. But before I do that, let me say something that is safe for everyone to read:

THIS IS THE PART BEN AFFLECK WAS BORN TO PLAY. HIS ENTIRE RANGE, WHICH CONSISTS OF BEING WOODEN AND/OR LACONIC, IS ALL THE ACCOUNTANT EVER IS.

If you want to know why, read on! But........

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT

This movie has lots of twists, a few "WTF?!?" moments, and one surprise ending. If you keep reading, you will learn them all.

The movie begins with someone wiping out a bunch of Gambino crime family members. And one other guy is in the house, but he is apparently a cop and does not get killed. We'll come back to that in a little while, but it's important.

There are a series of flashbacks showing how young Ben Affleck became The Accountant. First of all, he's autistic. Second of all, his dad is a bad-a** Army guy. Third of all, his mother leaves him. Fourth of all, he and his brother are expected to be loyal to each other no matter what. Fifth of all, young The Accountant gets taken to a special autistic treatment place, where young The Accountant apparently befriends a young autistic girl, while bad-a** Army dad says all that the young The Accountant needs is toughness, because it's a tough world. Sixth of all, yuong The Accountant's mom leaves, which makes young The Accountant sad, and young The Accountant's brother mad. Seventh of all. bad-a** Army dad takes his boys all around the world and everywhere they live, bad-a** Army dad makes them endure incredibly hard physical training - training which always revolves around how to fight really well. Eighth of all, young The Accountant follows his bad-a** dad into the Army, although we don't really learn that until later.

This movie jumps around a lot, and trust me - you should probably watch this drunk so as to not be thinking about all the plot holes I'm about to disclose. So, maybe you should get drunk NOW so that you don't remember all the stuff I'm about to tell you.

One thing about this movie is that people are in it that I think I have seen everywhere, but have actually only seen in one thing. Take J. K. Simmons. He's a great actor. I love his as Professor Farmers in those Farmers Insurance commercials. I love him so much that every time he comes on the screen, I shouted, "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" Fortunately, I watched this movie alone, so no one was offended. Wouldn't have mattered to me, though. But as it turns out, the ONLY thing I've ever seen J. K. Simmons in are those Farmers commercials. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

Hey, you know what? Farmers Insurance ought to make a commercial with Farmers Only Dot Com. It would be EPIC. "You don't have to be lonely, at Farmers Only Dot Com. Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" If I don't see this commericial in the Super Bowl, I'm going to be sorely disappointed.

J. K. Simmons - "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" - is a Treasury Director that is seven months from retirement. I know what you're thinking - he's going to die, isn't he? No, he is NOT going to die. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

He calls an analyst into his office and says, "Here are some bad photographs of a guy that does international forensic accounting for the world's worst criminals. Also, he has probably killed dozens of people. Before I retire, we are going to find out who he is and how he's stayed alive all this time. And you, young analyst, are going to solve this because I know you're actually an ex-con who lied on her federal job application. That's a felony, so I have you trapped. And.....We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

The young analyst then spends a bunch of boring time doing impossible research, making impossible deductions, and pretty much doing a whole bunch of stuff that doesn't really matter. Because, you see, J. K. Simmons has known who The Accountant is all this time. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" Since this movie jumps around, we'll have to come back to this point later. As you will see, very soon we're going to have a lot of points to come back to later.

John Lithgow owns a company that makes cuttting-edge artificial limbs and it's about to go public. But he hires The Accountant to determine whether or not a financial anamoly that staff accountant-with-a-little-"a" Anna Kendrick has found is true or not. Now, Anna Kendrick is another actor that I could SWEAR I have seen in 1,000 different movies and/or TV shows. But I Googled her and it turns out that, like J. K. Simmons ("We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"), I have only seen her in one thing. In this case, it was "Scott Pilgrim Against the World" which is a movie I have to watch at least twice a year, as it's my daughter's favorite movie and it's one of the 10 DVDs we have up here in New Mexico. You all are way too familiar with my limited viewing options here in New Mexico, so I know you understand why we resort to watching all 10 of the DVDs we have every single time we come up here. (Three of the DVDs are "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. Pray for me.)

Also, Anna Kendrick is almost the spitting image of Tina Fey and I've seen every episode of "30 Rock" 25 times (thank you Netflix, and season 3 of "30 Rock" is one of the other 10 DVDs we have up here). Therefore, Anna Kendrick is familiar to me. I think of her like I think of my favorite pair of old socks. But strangely enough, I do NOT equate Tina Fey with old socks or any other article of clothing, new or old.

So The Accountant takes less that 24 hours to figure out that the CFO - who is owner John Lithgow's best friend of 50 years - has stolen $61,000,000 dollars. Of course, this comes as no surprise to those who watch this movie because when Ben Affleck meets the CFO, the CFO makes it a point to say, "There's no way that it was ME who ever stole any money!" So clearly he is the guy who stole the money.

Somehow, a very bad guy and his band of other very bad guys learns this and shows up at the CFO's house. He comes down for a midnight snack and the very bad guy tells him, "We know you stole the money. You're going to die. Now, we could kill you...OR, you could OD on your insulin. If you OD, people will think it's an accident and your wife will get a lot of insurance money. But if you refuse to OD on insulin, we'll still kill you and then we'll rape your wife and then we'll kill her, too. Want a syringe?" As a diabetic myself, I thought this was really mean.

The Accountant shows up the next morning and explains to Anna Kendrick how he solved the mystery. Just as he's about to finish, John Lithgow comes in and fires him and worse - he has workers erase all the calculations The Accountant has written on every piece of plastic and glass in the conference room. This means The Accountant doesn't get to "finish". This is unacceptable. The Accountant doesn't mind being terminated - after all, the crook is dead and now everyone knows the score. But he is PO'ed he didn't get to "finish".

Somehow, the very bad guys that killed the CFO also are sent to kill The Accountant and Anna Kendrick. They follow The Accountant to the farm of one of his clients, where The Accountant practices blasting cantaloupes with smiley faces on them from about a mile away. Now, I'm no assassin but I would think that trying to kill another assassin while that assassin is holding a gun with which he can shoot your cantaloupe head off from a mile away is a bad idea.

It IS a bad idea.

The Accountant dispatches all those very bad guys and then races to Anna Kendrick's apartment, where some more very bad guys are trying to kill her. The Accountant finishes all of them and takes Kendrick to safety - which in this case is the Airst.....Oh my gosh! I swear that right now there's a Farmer's commerical on TV! "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

Where was I? Oh yeah - at the storage unit where The Accountant keeps his Airstream travel trailer. It has everything - a bed, a closet, an original Renoir, an original Jackson Pollack, Luke Skywalker's first Light Sabre, and Action Comics #1 (that's the one where Superman first appeared). Also, it has a boatload of guns. Kendrick is understandably confused, but goes to a fancy hotel with The Accountant.

We haven't talked about J. K. Simmons much, so let's start with "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" He has a heart-to-heart talk with the analyst and tells her HE was the guy that went into the Gambino family apartment when The Accountant was killing all the Gambinos. Side note - he killed the Gambinos because the Gambinos killed Jeffery Tambor, who was The Accountant's mentor in Leavenworth. Jeffrey Tambor was the best money launderer around, and taught The Accountant all this tricks. I also assume he told The Accountant, "There's always money in the banana stand".

Anyway, J. K. Simmons is just about to find the last dead Gambino when The Accountant sneaks up behind him. "Are you a Gambino family member?" "No, I'm Treasury Department." "Are you a good Treasury agent?" "Actually, no. I am not a very good agent. But I have two kids." "Are you a good father?" "Yes, yes that is the one thing I am good at. I'm a good father". So The Accountant not only lets J. K. Simmons live ("We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!") but.........

The Accountant starts having his assistant call J. K. Simmons and tip Simmons off to all the major cirminals that The Accountant knows about. So you see, The Accountant is not only really a GOOD guy, but is also the person responsible for J. K. Simmons going from being a bad Treasury agent to being the Director. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

So all this rigamarole has occurred and the good guys have known who the bad guy/The Accountant is all along. And The Accountant has known who J. K. Simmons is, and who the analyst is, all along too. Other than The Accountant killing tons of very bad guys, the first 80 minutes of this movie were unnecessary. Entertaining, but unnecessary.

The Accountant - who has ditched Anna Kendrick by this time - has figured out that the REAL bad guy is actually John Lithgow, who had orchestrated all the financial shenanigans to inflate his IPO price. Lithgow has hired the very bad guys, whose boss is really a pretty cool dude, to protect him. But of course The Accountant shows up and kills all the very bad guys except for the cool boss.

Why doesn't he kill the boss of the very bad guys?

Because that guy is his long-lost brother!

They fight, then they hug, then The Accountant kills John Lithgow. Then The Accountant and his brother agree to have lunch together a week later.

The Treasury analyst is promoted to full-fledged agent, whereupon she is now the one to get the tips from The Accountant. Ain't life grand!

I liked this movie. Some parts didn't make sense but it kept my attention. The Accountant was only asked to convey two emotions - wooden or laconic. Like I said, this was the part Ben Affleck was born to play! He is Mr. Wooden and Laconic!

"The Accountant" is rated as an IPO share price of $37.75 out of a maximum possilbe IPO share price of $50. Enjoy!

I really enjoy your reviews, but you DO realize that anyone planning to eventually see the movies won't be reading your reviews because of all the spoilers! Why give all the surprise plot twists?

I've seen this movie three times already, I really really like it. I guess my first response to your review, you seriously didn't recognize the actor who played Francis?

This is ABSOLUTELY 5 out of 5 stars!

All the reviews are correct, the best word to describe this movie is "riveting".

Even though I followed the story very closely as it happened, and only by pure luck wasn't at the bombings when they occurred, I was on the edge of my seat throughout.

First of all, it's not gory or exploitive as one might think. The scenes with the injured and killed were very respectful and didn't take up much of the movie, which BTW ran approx 2 hours 15 mins.

The only reason this is an "R" rated movie is there's a LOT of "F-bombs". No sex and not too much violence, but a lot of action and a few brief comedic moments. If you liked Deepwater Horizon, you'll love this movie as both were directed by Peter Berg.

The bulk of the movie focuses on the bombings, and then follows the main characters (cops, FBI, terrorists and their friends & family) until the manhunt is over. Wahlberg of course is the star, a much slimmer Goodman is great as usual, as is Kevin Bacon and Tom Brady's first Baby Mama. Sorry Rodeo, but Simmons doesn't have a very big role in the movie.

Much of the movie was shot from a handheld documentary-style perspective, and it works really well at making you feel like you're there on the scene. The visuals were fantastic. Even though you knew what was about to happen at the marathon finish line, it's still very emotional watching the bombs go off and what transpired after. Stick aroud for the closing montage of pictures and interviews of those who were real-life heroes and victims.

[Edited 1/12/17 21:16pm]

We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!

Pokeno4Money said:

I really enjoy your reviews, but you DO realize that anyone planning to eventually see the movies won't be reading your reviews because of all the spoilers! Why give all the surprise plot twists?

I've seen this movie three times already, I really really like it. I guess my first response to your review, you seriously didn't recognize the actor who played Francis?

Thanks! Yes, I know people might not read them because they haven't seen the movie yet. That's why I mainly review older movies. Also, I don't get out to the theater as much as I'd like, so there's that.

I hope this doesn't come out wrong (which means that it almost assuredly will!) but I think of myself as the Prince of movie reviews. Remember when Prince said he didn't think of himself as the best singer, but he liked the sound of his own voice? That's me when it comes to writing! I don't know how many people like these reviews (three that I know of, counting you!) but I do make myself laugh. And given how crappy 2016 was, I will be forever grateful I can do that to/for myself.

Of COURSE I know who Jeffrey Tambor is! I referenced him in the review. PLEASE tell me you got the "There's always money in the banana stand" reference!

For those who didn't, here you go:



If anyone is still confused, that is from "Arrested Development". If you haven't watched "Arrested Development", you should. It's awesome. My mother-in-law is basically Lucille Bluth.

RodeoSchro said:

Ingela said:

RodeoSchro said:

We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!

The girl I was with kept saying that when he came on the screen lol. What a great career he's had but that commercial has really stuck. Anyway it was a fun movie and I felt it was perfect that finally someone put two and two together (besides the Afleck casting) that any action movie where someone, good or bad so doggedly goes around killing people has to have a metal illness of some sort (not necessarily autism), so I thought that aspect was perfect! And it also says something about those of us who enjoy seeing someone so doggedly and entertainingly killing people. Ana Kendrick has such a charming personality that I'll watch anything she's in. But again, fun movie. Silly but fun. I especially liked the final scenes and the ending altogether.

The only thing that bugged me about the ending was that apparently. Affleck gave her a gift that she could never sell, or really even tell anyone that she had it, much less let anyone else see it. I can't imagine he had legal title to it, since it had to be payment either for a direct crime, or the aiding of a criminal enterprise.

But I think too much!

.

[Edited 1/13/17 9:22am]

RodeoSchro said:

RodeoSchro said:

Ladies and gentlemen, I want to give a tip of my hat; a bow of appreciation; and my most sincere thanks to purplethunder3121!

P3121 hooked me up with a link to watch "Porky's" online! I am forever grateful, purplethunder3121!

BECAUSE I JUST WATCHED "PORKY'S"!!!!!

To show you how important that is, here is the Porky's Viewing And Command Center I set up, just for this ocassion:




NOT PICTURED: Alcohol. But you'd better believe there was alcohol! Also, my fire was way bigger than that but for some reason the flame flickered when I took the picture. I've had that fire going for 11 hours today!

I firmly believe the entire world would be a better place if everyone watched "Porky's". Here are the ways we would benefit as a civilization:

-We would all drive better, cooler cars

-We would all learn that prejudices and bigotry are wrong and should be eliminated

-We would all be hip to the "Mike Hunt" phone gag and never fall for it (NOTE: But most of you would still not know about the Batdick joke)

-We would all learn how to entertain ourselves without electronic aids

Now, that last point is the most important. Sure, you see some naked women, perhaps a fleeting glimpse of the male anatomy, and some condoms in this movie. But do you know what you DON'T see?

Phones!

See kiddoes - this is how it was in The Time Before Phones. We made our own fun! We used our imagination! We were never bored! Sure, we got the crap kicked out of us by the Porky's of the world every now and then, but mostly we won!

It was great.

You know what else is great? This scene:



Tell me you aren't doubled over in laughter right now!

What's the use of providing a synopsis of this American Canadian classic? You only need to know this:

Your life is not complete until you watch "Porky's". Or watch it again. Courtesy of purplethunder3121, here's the link: http://ffilms.org/porkys-1982/

Give purplethunder3121 a giant Thank-You next time you see him/her!

"Porky's" gets out of

BONUS! I just found this cool "Where are they now?" video. Enjoy!



.

[Edited 1/13/17 8:24am]

Believe it or not, I've never seen this (and I'm Canadian!). Will try and finally get around to checking it out, based on your say-so!

Pokeno4Money said:

RodeoSchro said:

I just finished "The Accountant". Boy, do I have a lot to say about this one! Starting with:

SCREW NETFLIX!

This, of course, goes back to yesterday's debacle in which - because Netflix doesn't have "Porky's" or any good movies at all - I had to pay $10.99 to access my Houston DirecTV account and watch "War on Everyone". Which, if you look up about 5 posts, you would know is the worst, dumbest movie anyone has made in a long time.

Now, I am going to spoil the heck out of "The Accountant" so this is your warning. But before I do that, let me say something that is safe for everyone to read:

THIS IS THE PART BEN AFFLECK WAS BORN TO PLAY. HIS ENTIRE RANGE, WHICH CONSISTS OF BEING WOODEN AND/OR LACONIC, IS ALL THE ACCOUNTANT EVER IS.

If you want to know why, read on! But........

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT

This movie has lots of twists, a few "WTF?!?" moments, and one surprise ending. If you keep reading, you will learn them all.

The movie begins with someone wiping out a bunch of Gambino crime family members. And one other guy is in the house, but he is apparently a cop and does not get killed. We'll come back to that in a little while, but it's important.

There are a series of flashbacks showing how young Ben Affleck became The Accountant. First of all, he's autistic. Second of all, his dad is a bad-a** Army guy. Third of all, his mother leaves him. Fourth of all, he and his brother are expected to be loyal to each other no matter what. Fifth of all, young The Accountant gets taken to a special autistic treatment place, where young The Accountant apparently befriends a young autistic girl, while bad-a** Army dad says all that the young The Accountant needs is toughness, because it's a tough world. Sixth of all, yuong The Accountant's mom leaves, which makes young The Accountant sad, and young The Accountant's brother mad. Seventh of all. bad-a** Army dad takes his boys all around the world and everywhere they live, bad-a** Army dad makes them endure incredibly hard physical training - training which always revolves around how to fight really well. Eighth of all, young The Accountant follows his bad-a** dad into the Army, although we don't really learn that until later.

This movie jumps around a lot, and trust me - you should probably watch this drunk so as to not be thinking about all the plot holes I'm about to disclose. So, maybe you should get drunk NOW so that you don't remember all the stuff I'm about to tell you.

One thing about this movie is that people are in it that I think I have seen everywhere, but have actually only seen in one thing. Take J. K. Simmons. He's a great actor. I love his as Professor Farmers in those Farmers Insurance commercials. I love him so much that every time he comes on the screen, I shouted, "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" Fortunately, I watched this movie alone, so no one was offended. Wouldn't have mattered to me, though. But as it turns out, the ONLY thing I've ever seen J. K. Simmons in are those Farmers commercials. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

Hey, you know what? Farmers Insurance ought to make a commercial with Farmers Only Dot Com. It would be EPIC. "You don't have to be lonely, at Farmers Only Dot Com. Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" If I don't see this commericial in the Super Bowl, I'm going to be sorely disappointed.

J. K. Simmons - "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" - is a Treasury Director that is seven months from retirement. I know what you're thinking - he's going to die, isn't he? No, he is NOT going to die. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

He calls an analyst into his office and says, "Here are some bad photographs of a guy that does international forensic accounting for the world's worst criminals. Also, he has probably killed dozens of people. Before I retire, we are going to find out who he is and how he's stayed alive all this time. And you, young analyst, are going to solve this because I know you're actually an ex-con who lied on her federal job application. That's a felony, so I have you trapped. And.....We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

The young analyst then spends a bunch of boring time doing impossible research, making impossible deductions, and pretty much doing a whole bunch of stuff that doesn't really matter. Because, you see, J. K. Simmons has known who The Accountant is all this time. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" Since this movie jumps around, we'll have to come back to this point later. As you will see, very soon we're going to have a lot of points to come back to later.

John Lithgow owns a company that makes cuttting-edge artificial limbs and it's about to go public. But he hires The Accountant to determine whether or not a financial anamoly that staff accountant-with-a-little-"a" Anna Kendrick has found is true or not. Now, Anna Kendrick is another actor that I could SWEAR I have seen in 1,000 different movies and/or TV shows. But I Googled her and it turns out that, like J. K. Simmons ("We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"), I have only seen her in one thing. In this case, it was "Scott Pilgrim Against the World" which is a movie I have to watch at least twice a year, as it's my daughter's favorite movie and it's one of the 10 DVDs we have up here in New Mexico. You all are way too familiar with my limited viewing options here in New Mexico, so I know you understand why we resort to watching all 10 of the DVDs we have every single time we come up here. (Three of the DVDs are "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. Pray for me.)

Also, Anna Kendrick is almost the spitting image of Tina Fey and I've seen every episode of "30 Rock" 25 times (thank you Netflix, and season 3 of "30 Rock" is one of the other 10 DVDs we have up here). Therefore, Anna Kendrick is familiar to me. I think of her like I think of my favorite pair of old socks. But strangely enough, I do NOT equate Tina Fey with old socks or any other article of clothing, new or old.

So The Accountant takes less that 24 hours to figure out that the CFO - who is owner John Lithgow's best friend of 50 years - has stolen $61,000,000 dollars. Of course, this comes as no surprise to those who watch this movie because when Ben Affleck meets the CFO, the CFO makes it a point to say, "There's no way that it was ME who ever stole any money!" So clearly he is the guy who stole the money.

Somehow, a very bad guy and his band of other very bad guys learns this and shows up at the CFO's house. He comes down for a midnight snack and the very bad guy tells him, "We know you stole the money. You're going to die. Now, we could kill you...OR, you could OD on your insulin. If you OD, people will think it's an accident and your wife will get a lot of insurance money. But if you refuse to OD on insulin, we'll still kill you and then we'll rape your wife and then we'll kill her, too. Want a syringe?" As a diabetic myself, I thought this was really mean.

The Accountant shows up the next morning and explains to Anna Kendrick how he solved the mystery. Just as he's about to finish, John Lithgow comes in and fires him and worse - he has workers erase all the calculations The Accountant has written on every piece of plastic and glass in the conference room. This means The Accountant doesn't get to "finish". This is unacceptable. The Accountant doesn't mind being terminated - after all, the crook is dead and now everyone knows the score. But he is PO'ed he didn't get to "finish".

Somehow, the very bad guys that killed the CFO also are sent to kill The Accountant and Anna Kendrick. They follow The Accountant to the farm of one of his clients, where The Accountant practices blasting cantaloupes with smiley faces on them from about a mile away. Now, I'm no assassin but I would think that trying to kill another assassin while that assassin is holding a gun with which he can shoot your cantaloupe head off from a mile away is a bad idea.

It IS a bad idea.

The Accountant dispatches all those very bad guys and then races to Anna Kendrick's apartment, where some more very bad guys are trying to kill her. The Accountant finishes all of them and takes Kendrick to safety - which in this case is the Airst.....Oh my gosh! I swear that right now there's a Farmer's commerical on TV! "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

Where was I? Oh yeah - at the storage unit where The Accountant keeps his Airstream travel trailer. It has everything - a bed, a closet, an original Renoir, an original Jackson Pollack, Luke Skywalker's first Light Sabre, and Action Comics #1 (that's the one where Superman first appeared). Also, it has a boatload of guns. Kendrick is understandably confused, but goes to a fancy hotel with The Accountant.

We haven't talked about J. K. Simmons much, so let's start with "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!" He has a heart-to-heart talk with the analyst and tells her HE was the guy that went into the Gambino family apartment when The Accountant was killing all the Gambinos. Side note - he killed the Gambinos because the Gambinos killed Jeffery Tambor, who was The Accountant's mentor in Leavenworth. Jeffrey Tambor was the best money launderer around, and taught The Accountant all this tricks. I also assume he told The Accountant, "There's always money in the banana stand".

Anyway, J. K. Simmons is just about to find the last dead Gambino when The Accountant sneaks up behind him. "Are you a Gambino family member?" "No, I'm Treasury Department." "Are you a good Treasury agent?" "Actually, no. I am not a very good agent. But I have two kids." "Are you a good father?" "Yes, yes that is the one thing I am good at. I'm a good father". So The Accountant not only lets J. K. Simmons live ("We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!") but.........

The Accountant starts having his assistant call J. K. Simmons and tip Simmons off to all the major cirminals that The Accountant knows about. So you see, The Accountant is not only really a GOOD guy, but is also the person responsible for J. K. Simmons going from being a bad Treasury agent to being the Director. "We are Farmers! Bum bah bum bum bum bum BUM!"

So all this rigamarole has occurred and the good guys have known who the bad guy/The Accountant is all along. And The Accountant has known who J. K. Simmons is, and who the analyst is, all along too. Other than The Accountant killing tons of very bad guys, the first 80 minutes of this movie were unnecessary. Entertaining, but unnecessary.

The Accountant - who has ditched Anna Kendrick by this time - has figured out that the REAL bad guy is actually John Lithgow, who had orchestrated all the financial shenanigans to inflate his IPO price. Lithgow has hired the very bad guys, whose boss is really a pretty cool dude, to protect him. But of course The Accountant shows up and kills all the very bad guys except for the cool boss.

Why doesn't he kill the boss of the very bad guys?

Because that guy is his long-lost brother!

They fight, then they hug, then The Accountant kills John Lithgow. Then The Accountant and his brother agree to have lunch together a week later.

The Treasury analyst is promoted to full-fledged agent, whereupon she is now the one to get the tips from The Accountant. Ain't life grand!

I liked this movie. Some parts didn't make sense but it kept my attention. The Accountant was only asked to convey two emotions - wooden or laconic. Like I said, this was the part Ben Affleck was born to play! He is Mr. Wooden and Laconic!

"The Accountant" is rated as an IPO share price of $37.75 out of a maximum possilbe IPO share price of $50. Enjoy!

I really enjoy your reviews, but you DO realize that anyone planning to eventually see the movies won't be reading your reviews because of all the spoilers! Why give all the surprise plot twists?

His reviews wouldn't be the same without them! He does issue spoiler-alerts!

Ace said:

RodeoSchro said:

<Hilarity deleted for brevity>

Believe it or not, I've never seen this (and I'm Canadian!). Will try and finally get around to checking it out, based on your say-so!

Awesome!

I referenced this as an "American" classic in two different reviews in this thread. But at the very end of the "Where are they now?" video it discloses that not only is "Porky's" a Canadian film, it was the highest-grossing Canadian film of all time for about 20 years! I just figured that with it being set in Florida, and capturing Florida so PERFECTLY (even if half the cast have Bronx accents, LOL), that it had to have been made by southern Americans.

Enjoy, it's GREAT! Don't watch the video embedded in my "Porky's" review, though. Just let that one happen naturally, you won't be sorry!

RodeoSchro said:

Of COURSE I know who Jeffrey Tambor is! I referenced him in the review. PLEASE tell me you got the "There's always money in the banana stand" reference!

For those who didn't, here you go:

If anyone is still confused, that is from "Arrested Development". If you haven't watched "Arrested Development", you should. It's awesome. My mother-in-law is basically Lucille Bluth.

I know him from 1970's-1980's tv shows such as The Ropers and Three's Company, as well as old films such as Mr. Mom

Ace said:

RodeoSchro said:

Ladies and gentlemen, I want to give a tip of my hat; a bow of appreciation; and my most sincere thanks to purplethunder3121!

P3121 hooked me up with a link to watch "Porky's" online! I am forever grateful, purplethunder3121!

BECAUSE I JUST WATCHED "PORKY'S"!!!!!

To show you how important that is, here is the Porky's Viewing And Command Center I set up, just for this ocassion:




NOT PICTURED: Alcohol. But you'd better believe there was alcohol! Also, my fire was way bigger than that but for some reason the flame flickered when I took the picture. I've had that fire going for 11 hours today!

I firmly believe the entire world would be a better place if everyone watched "Porky's". Here are the ways we would benefit as a civilization:

-We would all drive better, cooler cars

-We would all learn that prejudices and bigotry are wrong and should be eliminated

-We would all be hip to the "Mike Hunt" phone gag and never fall for it (NOTE: But most of you would still not know about the Batdick joke)

-We would all learn how to entertain ourselves without electronic aids

Now, that last point is the most important. Sure, you see some naked women, perhaps a fleeting glimpse of the male anatomy, and some condoms in this movie. But do you know what you DON'T see?

Phones!

See kiddoes - this is how it was in The Time Before Phones. We made our own fun! We used our imagination! We were never bored! Sure, we got the crap kicked out of us by the Porky's of the world every now and then, but mostly we won!

It was great.

You know what else is great? This scene:



Tell me you aren't doubled over in laughter right now!

What's the use of providing a synopsis of this American Canadian classic? You only need to know this:

Your life is not complete until you watch "Porky's". Or watch it again. Courtesy of purplethunder3121, here's the link: http://ffilms.org/porkys-1982/

Give purplethunder3121 a giant Thank-You next time you see him/her!

"Porky's" gets out of

BONUS! I just found this cool "Where are they now?" video. Enjoy!



.

[Edited 1/13/17 8:24am]

Believe it or not, I've never seen this (and I'm Canadian!). Will try and finally get around to checking it out, based on your say-so!

Wish I was right there with you in that cozy environment, Rodeo! And glad you didn't have to drive all the way to Taos. And, Ace, check it out--the first movie is really funny.