Handclapsfingasnapz said:

I would call that a con...

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

not really...the cucumber won't fall asleep on ya or tell u 2 quit bitchin...

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Yeah, but can a cucumber give you oral?

SuperC said:

HMMM looks like Lisa hit a nerve.

Paisley said:

Actually quite the opposite. Any woman that choses a vegatable over a man should be able to sleep with the vegatable. There are plenty of women who like men and like for men to work their plumbing.

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

maybe if u put somethin on it that'd work like a tongue...

Not that I've ever experienced such, but I've seen a lot of porn and done a lot of reading.

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Can a cucumber have a mouthful of tea and then a warm tongue?

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

good point, battier

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Can a cucumber rub you with a cold popsycle and then lick you with a warm tongue?

I THINK NOT!

DOWN WITH THE CUCUMBER!

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

Oh lord, it's startin to get warm in here.

hey, Mizzundastood... maybe it's your attitude about men that keeps you from attracting any good ones.

AaronFantastic said:

Aaron, if you ever decide you like women, and I'm older... I'm going to rape you with a stick.

AaronFantastic said:

Aaron, if you ever decide you like women, and I'm older... I'm going to rape you with a stick.

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

Do I need to like women to be raped by one with a stick?

That whole rape thing sort of bypasses the attraction issue doesn't it?

cucumbers don't have stds either

AaronFantastic said:

By god, you're right!

Aaron, where do you live?

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

central Illinois

Top 15 reasons Cucumbers are better than men
(as told by digitalLisa)

a cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety

cucumbers never need a round of applause

the average cucumber is at least seven inches long

cucumbers stay hard for a week

it's easy to drop a cucumber

cucumbers won't ask:
Am I the best?
How was it?
Did you come? How many times?

Afterwards, a cucumber won't:
want to shake hands and be friends
say, "I'll call you a cab."
tell you he's not the marrying kind
tell you he is the marrying kind
call his mother, ex-wife, or therapist
take you to confesion

a cucumber never snaps your bra, or pinches your butt

you always know where YOUR cucumber has been

cucumbers never have a mid-life crisis

cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do

cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers

and if you do, a cucumber won't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy."

cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one

a cucumber will never leave you
for another woman
for another man
for another cucumber

..

a cucumber can't do booty boom



..

You forgot the part about being able to eat the cucumber when you're done.

Of course, you could eat a man...