What do you do when your suffering from a broken heart? Today I just broke up with my b/f, it's been going on and off for yrrs, but i told him this was it i'm not going back no more, i can take it, enough is enough! At first I felt good about myself, that I finally spoke up and said something, then when I got home I started to miss him and felt like maybe I just done something wrong. I know he ain't no good and I ain't going back , but still I don't know how to handle this broken heart :Cry: Any Advice ?

Lots o' these: DigitalLisa


That, and knock back about 3 cases of Bud Lights... 8)

Play darts w/ pictures of him while thinking of all the stupid things he done.

stay away...have no contact with him whatsoever... be kind to yourself and keep busy

I am still getting over mine, under different circumstances though. I thought I was gonna go nuts the first week, but he helped me through it and now we are best friends. I still see him on a daily basis.

KEEP BUSY... find distractions... and don't push yourself to heal. That'll just bite you in the ass in the end.

I never thought I say this but I hate his azz, that's the only reason why I been in this Bitchy mood all week peeking on all u guys, I just been listening to a whole bunch of music and it seems like it just making matters worst... old frieds for sale is on repeat on my stereo

Yeah, keep busy... work, school, whatever project you have going on. Stay focused on the truth and love yourself. Confide in a family member. Maybe a brother or sister or a parent. Communicate and ask other
girls who have been thru the same thing... much love! Stay strong!... and keep ya head up!

To quote the great "Say Anything"

"Man, all you gotta do is find a girl that looks just like her, nail her, and then dump her, man. Get her off your mind."

I know you're a girl so just reverse it

july said:

I agree with all of this...except the "ask other girls who have been thru the same thing" part...lol...

Sometimes, a female gettin' together with other brokenhearted females who feel they've been wronged only causes the events to seem worse, and helps fester and promote resentment and keeps the hostility alive...almost like they play off each other in a sense...

I'd say for anyone in Lisa's situation to try and keep some people in your immediate circle who tend to promote and inspire you to see the positive of any event, and in any person...not to the point that you go back with them, but at least so that you're able to deal with everything in a healthier way...

DigitalLisa said:

DigitalLisa said:

You're beautiful and worth more than what he was willing to give... have the utmost respect for yourself and eat lots of ice cream, too.

EVERYTHING WORKS OUT!

DigitalLisa said:

Buy a cat or a dog, if you don't have one. Sometimes it seems like they are the only creatures that can love you unconditionally.

keep a diary.

buy a book of crossword puzzles and do one every time you think of him.

enjoy your solitude and don't think of it as loneliness.

errr, that's all i have right now...

awww thanks everybody, but damn why is it sooo hard... love is a bitch

DigitalLisa said:

IT ONLY BECAUSE IT JUST HAPPEN

GIVE IT TIME YOU BE OK!

my advice is to do something. go out with friends, go shopping, go to a movie. keep yourself busy so you won't be tempted to think about him.

the day after is always the hardest. keep reminding yourself that if he couldn't see how great you are it's his loss and not yours.

DigitalLisa said:

I agree! LOVE SUCKS!!

DigitalLisa said:

Because love is arguably the best emotion/feeling you'll ever experience, and valuable shit like that don't come for free!

This is what I did... this was a relationship that lasted 6 years.

I wrote all the positives, and negatives about our relationship on paper..

Every time I started to miss his ass I read this paper, and that cleared up the loneliness real quick.

Give yourself time DL, take care of you now. Do something you have wanted to do... something you couldn't do because your relationship was in the way.

Take care hun, and here is to a healthy recovery.

go out dancing and FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT!!! go home with some numbers and then never call. it'll be something to get your mind off of things.

Natsume said:

That is excellent and very wise (and true..)!

DigitalLisa said:

Love has a price. Loving someone truly, you give them everything you have in your heart. You give them you. It's a beautiful thing when it's reciprocated and you feel like a richer person spiritually, mentally, emotionally for it. That's the great part of love.

Then there's the other side.

When you lose that person it feels like Love itself doesn't love you back. All you're left with is numbness and emptiness. Perhaps worst of all is the silence. You know what I mean. I'm trying myself to get over my last relationship. The hardest part is when you're in bed alone and it's quiet and for a brief fleeting second you remember what it felt like. What it felt like to hold that person in that bed. But you realize that you've just forgotten that feeling and all you have now is silence.

It's going to hurt. Unfortunately all you can do is let it happen. I'm not going to lie it hurts. It hurts a lot. People are going to tell you to "get over it". I don't think anyone can. At least not entirely. But what you can do is learn from it. The negative things will pass into memory so just let it. Remember that with the negative also came the positive moments so hold on to that. Try. Over time this pain WILL pass. At least that's what I hope for both you and me.

Take your time and reclaim yourself. When you're ready Love will be waiting for you.

DigitalLisa said:

Yeah thats a tough one,sorry digital.Time is what your heart needs.Theres lots little things you can do,like keeping busy,friends etc...but the thought of her/him is always right there.One day you will go though the whole day and youll think,"wow I havent thought of her/him all day"thats when you will know its getting better.

First off, Natsume, that was a great quote!!

Second, Digital Lisa, I have the two-part cure for you. This is going to sound corny, but it works.

I know you're hurting right now, and that's good, because that just means you are alive, can feel, and live life intensely! So, let's use and explore that emotion to get the pain out of your system.

Part 1: First exhaust the emotion by exacerbating it with a compilation of "lostlove" songs that play repeatedly on your CD. I downloaded the songs below and burned them on a disc which I use. It might take you a couple of days or just a couple of hours, but you will climax the pain and then it will plateau. Afterwards, you will have grieved honestly (which is important) and the mawkish music will seem so ridiculous that you'll turn it off and tell yourself to get over it.

Disc 1: Lost Love

1. One Fine Day (slow-version from movie by natalie merchant)
2. I Ain't Missing You (John Waite)
3. Nothing Compares to You (Sinead's version is better for this)
4. I'm Going Down (Rose Royce or Mary Blige)
5. Smoking Cigarettes (Tweet)
6. Always be my Baby (M. Carey)
7. Didn't We Almost Have it All (Whitney Houston)
8. Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler)
9. One More Try (George Michael)
10. Forever (Mariah Carey)
11 Still (Macy Gray)
12. I will always love you (W. Houston)
13. Now and Forever (Carole King)
14. Vanishing (M. Carey)
15. Never Dreamed you'd Leave in Summer (Stevie Wonder)
16. All At Once (Houston)
17.Where Do Broken Hearts Go (Houston)
18. It's so Hard to say goodbye to yesterday (G.C. Cameron. Do not use that god-awful boys to men version)
19. One Fine Day (fast version by Chiffons)

** (You might have better song substiutes)


Part 2: Now, we have to fill that vacuum created once the pain is gone so you don't feel empty. Otherwise you might try to call him and we don't want you to do that. Remember, he did some pretty shitty things that ultimately led to this break-up. So, don't make him perfect in nostalgia and act like you lost a really great guy. He was an ass then and is still an ass. DO NOT FALL FOR NOSTALGIA.

OK, back to filling the vaccuum. Nothing fills the vacuum better than feminist angst. ( )


This is where I pull out my "Kick-Ass Alpha Woman" cd compilation, or KAW for short. (This works, whenever you need a boost of toughness). The songs on this compilation,from Janet Jackson to Pink to Alanis Morrisette will strengthen your backbone so you don't fall for game again. You will eat balls for breakfast after this.

***


Disc 2: KICK-ASS ALPHA WOMAN cd

1. Son of a Gun (Janet, album version with CURSE words)
2. Son of a Gun-Remix (with Missy Elliot)
3. He Wasn't Man Enough (Braxton)
4. No Man's Woman (Sinead O'Conner)
5.Better Be Good to Me (Tina Turner)
6. Lady Marmalade (newest version)
7. Wild Women Do (Natalie Cole, yes, a tad lame)
8. Proud Mary (Tina Turner)
9. There you Go (Pink)
10. What About (Janet Jackson)
11. Narcissus (Alanis Morissette)
12. 18 Wheeler (Pink)
13.You Oughta Know (Alanis)
14. Numb (Pink: "no sleep, no sex for you from your ex-girlfriend")
15. What it Feels Like for a Girl (Madonna)
16. Respect (PINK)
17. That Don't impress me much (Twain)
18. Say My Name (Beyonce)
19. Man! I Feel Like a Woman (Twain).



No, I'm not in therapy. Cheers:
[This message was edited Sat Apr 5 11:06:55 PST 2003 by SynthiaRose]

I really do understand your feelings. I had once a very difficult relationship. I had even some psycological problems. You know it was very very hard.I was about to commit sui..So I ask to God if he could help me.We hadn´t have a chat for years. And he send me a very nice man..We first met in the shadow of the cathedral. Two weeks later we have engaged. And now we are still happy. Keep in mind: even if you think you cannot live with him or her .. repeat in your mind that you ´ve got lungs, a brain and a heart. You are able to live! You´ll find the partner who will be on your side when you´re walking your way.

DigitalLisa said:

Give it time. A couple months from now you'll be able to look back and laugh at the whole situation and be proud of yourself for moving on.

Write down all the reasons why it is best for you not to be with him..and every time you feel blue,.. read it.
And babygirl. I hope you feel better soon.

In a word...

S H O P P I N G !!!

...

the miracle cure!!!


...

I found a message board called "break ups suck". You will be amazed how many people feel the same way you do.

Know that you won't feel like this forever. . .this too shall pass. . .