Anyone who's done the singles scene has a date from hell story or two.It goes with the territory and is always good for a laugh with your friends.Were you ever someone elses horror story?

Probably.

not me man. when things start going south on a date i take a poweder and slip out the back door

I know I was. I take this fat chick out - she was big but her ass was firm and the juggs had to be F cups. We go ti McDonalds - one with the playround attached - and I let her supersize it even though her fat ass didnt need it. About 2 hours later, after driving around since there was no way I was spending any more money on this broad, we are parked near the river and I am hitting it doggie style with the passanger side door open and her face in the passenger seat.

It was so romantic: the silver moonlight bounced across the water like magic. And the air seemed to glow as the quiet hiss of a faint summer breezes stole through the leaves of the fuit trees near by. Then all of a sudden, a thunderous, ugly noice erupted and scared the hell out of me! It knocked me off my feet and the air seemed to be instantly spoiled by some evil cloud of funk. Da beetch farted on me! And didnt even say excuse me. She had to hear it because it echoed across the river adn birds fluttered from the tree tops in fright. I got up, brushed myself off, didnt say a word, and got right back in it. I couldnt hold on to both of his huge ass cheeks because I had to pinch my nose for the stench. Then the bitch did it again! THis time, I lean forward and punched her in the back of the head. Needless to say, the date went downhill from there. I blew a load on her back , told her to pull up her pants, and I left her at a bus stop because she lived on the other side of town and I didnt want to waste any more time or gas on her fat ass.
[This message was edited Thu Apr 3 13:05:40 PST 2003 by LaMont]

LaMont said:

I think taking her to mcdonalds might be her horror story.
LMAO

LaMont, that was fucking disgusting.


Once I went on a blind date with this guy Greg. This was a few months ago... he's 30 and has five kids (my bitch ass friend failed to tell me that... gimme a break, I'm only 21!). Nice guy, but full of himself and cocky as well. The bastard wouldn't even let me get a word in. I think he was looking for a good stepmother... I don't think he liked me too much, because I never got a call back!

That's all I can think of... but I'm not big on dating, so I don't have much to pick from!

Yeah, I went on a date once and by the end of it I had the feeling that the guy was turning just a titch icy - it was a second date, and the first one went really well and most of the second one went well, or at least so I thought.

After the date, as I was trying to figure out what went sour, it occurred to me that we'd gone to a movie and he had free passes and I didn't offer to pay him for one of the passes, and I realized that he probably thought I was a big ol' cheepskate. Which I am, but usually not on the second date. Hell, I even bought him a large soda, and shit ain't cheep at the movies, damn.

Oh well. I'm a bastard. Next!

Anxiety said:

Another ridiculous statement from the person with DLR on their face

Point?

Yes... but I was young so what I did doesn't count. He was acting like a creep anyway... so it was deserved.

LaMont said:

How come I don't believe this story?

And if it is true, you deserve it for taking her to McDonalds!

LaMont said:

Oh, LaMont...your story makes me blue. I must admit that for such a nasty tale, the writing is quite angelic.

I went on a date with this girl, She was really beautiful and had a dancers body...and we went bar hopping, and she got so wasted that she was hanging onto light poles and falling down, and she stopped at a club to meet the owner to score some coke, and in the car she started going "Stephanie, no..." to herself. I asked what she was doing and she said oh you'll know in a minute as she rolled her window down.
She had let out some kind of toxic gas that they should use in warfare.

My story will remain untold. But in general I don't like the formal aspect of dating. It's not conducive to being yourself, being natural. Not that people can't put on airs in any setting, or become uncomfortable in any setting...

a friend of mine set me up with this friend of his once, as a blind date sort of thing... i'd never met the girl before, and i didn't have anything else to do, so i went along, although i hate the idea of blind dates...
it was my freshman year...

so, he picked a central place for us to meet on campus (just in case i didn't like the girl, i didn't want her to know where i lived)...

so, i get there a little early and i'm waiting in the parking lot... and then suddenly this beat-up piece of shit car comes roaring into the parking lot with techno blaring from the speakers, and this girl steps out with a cocaine look in her eyes and a runny nose... she starts looking around all jumpy and shit and then finally she asks, "hey man, are you stephen?"...

and for a second, i contemplated saying "no" and just going about my business... i decided against it, because i didn't wanna leave the girl hanging... that's just rude...

so, i said, "yeah... you must be lauren, right?" ...

"yeaaah... so, are you like ready to fucking paarrrtttaaaeee... whooo"...

i just kinda stared at her... i wanted to hunt my buddy down and kick his ass...

i kept staring at her, so finally she asks, "so, where are we going? huh... what ya got planned... whooo..."

i hated to do it, but i had to break it down to her... "well, i'm going back to my room... and i don't mean any disrespect, but my plans are to drink myself into a violent rage and then beat that sorry muthafucka down... i don't know where you're going or what your plans are, but i'm confident that you'll figure something out..."

then i walked away... she didn't say anything... i think she was shocked... looking back on it, i probably just should've gone along with the date, but we would have both been miserable as hell... ... i still don't know what the hell that dude was thinking trying to set me up with that girl...
[This message was edited Thu Apr 3 14:03:40 PST 2003 by EllisDee]

EllisDee said:

fucking shit! are you still talking to this guy?!


!!! !!! !!!

EllisDee said:

INSATIABLE said:

we had a huge argument about it... he use some lame-ass excuse about the fact that i had just started sporting a burgundy mohawk and so he thought that i would be into that girl or something... he wasn't making any sense at all to me... i never could figure out how my haircut and that girl had any kind of connection... ...

anyway, so we argued about it for a long time, but we remained friends for a little while after that... then eventually, we just stopped hanging out... the last i heard, he had started dating the girl, and they both dropped out because they stayed too fucked up to make it to class or anything... ...

AzureStar said:

you wouldn't have been laughing, if you had been there...

...

i really felt bad for saying what i did, but sometimes i have a problem with tact, and it just came out...

EllisDee said:

I probably wouldn't have been if I were there... but they way you said it... I can just picture it. Her saying "parrrtaaaeee!" and "whooo!" and you just staring at her.

Comedy!

AzureStar said:

yeah... she was so damn rabid that she didn't even seem to notice my complete lack of enthusiasm... i'm sure it looked pretty freakish to all of the people walking by...

EllisDee said:

well, i would have dug the burgundy mohawk

but i think its good that you stood you ground with her..and didnt go on the date...why passify something like that? ya know?

violett said:

so, what you doin' tonight..? ...



actually, i think i may have a picture of that scanned into my computer somewhere... :LOL:...




yeah, i don't necessarily feel so bad about not going on the date... i just wish that i had given myself an extra second to regain my composure and come up with a better way of saying that i didn't think it was a good idea...

however, she was so hyped up that i don't think she even noticed... she probably stood there and "whooo"ed for a few more minutes, not realizing that i was no longer there...

INSATIABLE said:

I hope you punched your bitch arsed friend in the face.

Oh my goodness.


Lamont: if your story is true (!).. dude, it could have been worse.. be happy that she

o n l y

farted!


EllisDee: I admire your courage & honesty. I probably would have been as disappointed as you were, but I think I might have tried to hang out for a little while, or fake a "serious illness" of some sort..


Goodness.

EllisDee said:

right...but i know how it is to go out with someone like that so trust me...she prolly never thought about it again lol

I'm sure I'm a horror to the VERY convincing drag queen that I came close to making out with at a concert. I let her down as easy as I could--in other words, I didn't act grossed out when I found out she was a HE.

But I could tell that She/He wanted me, and was disappointed when I broke off the flirtation. That's me--Mr. Heartbreaker.