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Thread started 08/05/16 5:58am

JustErin

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Are you a flirt?

Are you just naturally flirty?

I guess I never thought I was all that much...but since I am hyper aware of my behaviour at work now, I've realized that I am pretty flirty. Something just happened at work that made me realize that I'm clearly this way with pretty much all the dudes here (not that I actually want them).

If you're not flirtatious, do you find those that are annoying or inappropriate?

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Reply #1 posted 08/05/16 8:19am

wishuhvn

You asked two question there, JustErin. I can answer the first one with no, I don't thonk so but I have been told that I am. Some people would call it charisma (mainly me) but some have called it flirty. I've always been this way and if I wanted to stop, I don't think that I could. Look at yourself and ask if you're the same way with everyone that you speak with. Is it intentional or just a part of your character?

Now, do I find it annoying or inappropriate when it's coming from others? No, because I give them the benefit of the doubt. I don't thnk that every woman wants me, just as I don't want every woman that I speak with. BUt I know that many others find it annoying (from a woman's perspective) and a man thinks the woman wants to get with them. I find it funny.

Just having half of a profile pic is being flirtatious, show us everything or be like me and leave it all to the imagination smile

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Reply #2 posted 08/05/16 8:22am

wishuhvn

Just looked up your profile, Canadian and with those eyes...Yea, you're a confident flirt smile

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Reply #3 posted 08/05/16 12:37pm

JustErin

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I think it might just be part of who I am.

Although, I will admit I'm more flirtatious with some than others. I lay it on a little thicker with some.


You know, the young and/or attractive ones. wink


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Reply #4 posted 08/05/16 1:58pm

Kobe

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Too many have tried to flirt with me over the years in here... I just push em to side because I have no interest while I am eating my food

And girls, if you wanna to get that lovely tattoo of the sunrise rising out of your ass crack... Gorgeous when you're 20, but when you're 50, it's an octopus chasing a fucking starfish ~ Robin Williams
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Reply #5 posted 08/06/16 6:52pm

JustErin

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Kobe said:

Too many have tried to flirt with me over the years in here... I just push em to side because I have no interest while I am eating my food



Too many have tried to flirt with you on the org?? lol
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Reply #6 posted 08/06/16 6:52pm

JustErin

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And why is this thread failing??
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Reply #7 posted 08/07/16 12:06am

EmmaMcG

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No, I don't think I am. I was in a relationship since I was 14 until I was 22 so I had no need to flirt with anyone because I figured I'd be with this guy forever. When we broke up I had two very short relationships in quick succession. Then I had a baby. Flirting just doesn't come naturally to me. I suppose I just don't have much practice at it. Although, the girl I'm seeing at the moment says I have flirtatious eyes, whatever that means.

In response to your other question, no, I don't find people who flirt to be annoying or inappropriate. Well, for the most part.
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Reply #8 posted 08/07/16 2:28am

DaveT

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JustErin said:

Are you just naturally flirty?

I guess I never thought I was all that much...but since I am hyper aware of my behaviour at work now, I've realized that I am pretty flirty. Something just happened at work that made me realize that I'm clearly this way with pretty much all the dudes here (not that I actually want them).

If you're not flirtatious, do you find those that are annoying or inappropriate?



Happily married so flirting is pointless now, which is actually a relief if I'm honest. There always seemed to be an expectation to make effort when chatting to women...now its nice just to have a normal conversation.

As for people flirting with me I find it amusing ... you have to pick your moment very carefully when you go "I'm married thanks" biggrin
[Edited 8/7/16 8:19am]
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Reply #9 posted 08/07/16 4:06am

NinaB

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In general, no. If I find u attractive inside & out, it's a possibility. I don't mind flirty peep, some guys can be irritating tho, corny.
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #10 posted 08/07/16 10:47am

Pokeno4Money

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I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?

"Jussie Smollett wanted to become the Rosa Parks of Gay Black Men, but instead he became the Rosie Ruiz."

https://nypost.com/2019/0...a-is-long/
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Reply #11 posted 08/07/16 10:55am

NinaB

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Pokeno4Money said:

I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?



Not necessarily...irritating maybe lol & claustrophobia inducing eek lol confused Especially 2, 3 & 4. Well, at least u didn't say you keep touching them hmm
[Edited 8/7/16 10:58am]
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #12 posted 08/07/16 12:01pm

Pokeno4Money

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NinaB said:

Pokeno4Money said:

I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?

Not necessarily...irritating maybe lol & claustrophobia inducing eek lol confused Especially 2, 3 & 4. Well, at least u didn't say you keep touching them hmm [Edited 8/7/16 10:58am]


I appreciate your honesty Nina! They are mostly all older women, if they minded they'd let me know or I'd sense it. Some of the things I do, other women do the same thing. lol

Yeah touching is a definite no, even with women who frequently touch me.

"Jussie Smollett wanted to become the Rosa Parks of Gay Black Men, but instead he became the Rosie Ruiz."

https://nypost.com/2019/0...a-is-long/
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Reply #13 posted 08/07/16 12:10pm

NinaB

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^ we aim 2 please lol
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #14 posted 08/07/16 12:14pm

Guitarhero

Pokeno4Money said:

I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?

Is opening a door for a lady flirting , oh I do that all the time. I always thought that was about manners and how i was brought up. biggrin I can't win sometimes . Sometimes i get a funny look from women for holding the door for them.

[Edited 8/7/16 12:15pm]

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Reply #15 posted 08/07/16 12:19pm

NinaB

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Guitarhero said:



Pokeno4Money said:


I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?




Is opening a door for a lady flirting , oh I do that all the time. I always thought that was about manners and how i was brought up. biggrin I can't win sometimes . Sometimes i get a funny look from women for holding the door for them.

[Edited 8/7/16 12:15pm]


Don't mind all that, stay the same way. My Uncle ALWAYS opens the door 4 me. Bless him.
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #16 posted 08/07/16 12:23pm

Guitarhero

NinaB said:

Guitarhero said:

Is opening a door for a lady flirting , oh I do that all the time. I always thought that was about manners and how i was brought up. biggrin I can't win sometimes . Sometimes i get a funny look from women for holding the door for them.

[Edited 8/7/16 12:15pm]

Don't mind all that, stay the same way. My Uncle ALWAYS opens the door 4 me. Bless him.

biggrin Thank you.

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Reply #17 posted 08/07/16 12:27pm

NinaB

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Guitarhero said:



NinaB said:


Guitarhero said:


Is opening a door for a lady flirting , oh I do that all the time. I always thought that was about manners and how i was brought up. biggrin I can't win sometimes . Sometimes i get a funny look from women for holding the door for them.


[Edited 8/7/16 12:15pm]



Don't mind all that, stay the same way. My Uncle ALWAYS opens the door 4 me. Bless him.

biggrin Thank you.


Welcome
wink
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #18 posted 08/07/16 12:41pm

JustErin

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Pokeno4Money said:

I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?




I would.
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Reply #19 posted 08/07/16 1:16pm

Pokeno4Money

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JustErin said:

Pokeno4Money said:

I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?

I would.


Which of those things I listed causes you to think that? Just curious wink

See the way I look at it, if I'm the same way with all female coworkers then it's not flirting. If I was that way with just one coworker, then yeah it's flirting.


Just one coworker = I have an interest in her
All coworkers = Just me being me

"Jussie Smollett wanted to become the Rosa Parks of Gay Black Men, but instead he became the Rosie Ruiz."

https://nypost.com/2019/0...a-is-long/
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Reply #20 posted 08/07/16 1:28pm

JustErin

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Pokeno4Money said:



JustErin said:


Pokeno4Money said:

I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?




I would.


Which of those things I listed causes you to think that? Just curious wink

See the way I look at it, if I'm the same way with all female coworkers then it's not flirting. If I was that way with just one coworker, then yeah it's flirting.



Just one coworker = I have an interest in her
All coworkers = Just me being me



All of it really.

To me it just means you are flirty with women by nature. That it's not intentional because of an interest.

I'm thinking I'm like that. I'm not interested but I like being coy with men.

Maybe I'm insecure. lol
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Reply #21 posted 08/07/16 1:51pm

Pokeno4Money

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JustErin said:

All of it really. To me it just means you are flirty with women by nature. That it's not intentional because of an interest. I'm thinking I'm like that. I'm not interested but I like being coy with men. Maybe I'm insecure. lol


You know what? I just looked up the definition, and it's not what I had thought.

I had thought a flirt was somebody expressing their interest in another person with the hope of having it turn into a hookup or relationship.

I was wrong, here's the definition: "behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions."

Yup, I can see why I'm viewed as a flirt.

And I have a really, really hard time believing that you are insecure. Perhaps you use flirting to gain power and influence over your male coworkers? It's quite common actually.




[Edited 8/7/16 13:52pm]

"Jussie Smollett wanted to become the Rosa Parks of Gay Black Men, but instead he became the Rosie Ruiz."

https://nypost.com/2019/0...a-is-long/
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Reply #22 posted 08/07/16 2:03pm

JustErin

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Pokeno4Money said:



JustErin said:


All of it really. To me it just means you are flirty with women by nature. That it's not intentional because of an interest. I'm thinking I'm like that. I'm not interested but I like being coy with men. Maybe I'm insecure. lol


You know what? I just looked up the definition, and it's not what I had thought.

I had thought a flirt was somebody expressing their interest in another person with the hope of having it turn into a hookup or relationship.

I was wrong, here's the definition: "behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions."

Yup, I can see why I'm viewed as a flirt.

And I have a really, really hard time believing that you are insecure. Perhaps you use flirting to gain power and influence over your male coworkers? It's quite common actually.




[Edited 8/7/16 13:52pm]



Yeah maybe. I really think for me it's subconscious most of the time.
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Reply #23 posted 08/07/16 2:05pm

Kobe

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Yep when they try snatch my sausage.... off the plate when I am eating my food

JustErin said:

Kobe said:

Too many have tried to flirt with me over the years in here... I just push em to side because I have no interest while I am eating my food

Too many have tried to flirt with you on the org?? lol

And girls, if you wanna to get that lovely tattoo of the sunrise rising out of your ass crack... Gorgeous when you're 20, but when you're 50, it's an octopus chasing a fucking starfish ~ Robin Williams
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Reply #24 posted 08/07/16 3:02pm

JustErin

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Kobe said:

Yep when they try snatch my sausage.... off the plate when I am eating my food



JustErin said:


Kobe said:

Too many have tried to flirt with me over the years in here... I just push em to side because I have no interest while I am eating my food



Too many have tried to flirt with you on the org?? lol



That must be some sausage.
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Reply #25 posted 08/07/16 3:08pm

Kobe

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It is when I have cooked it and keep out the hungry savages from grabbing it

JustErin said:

Kobe said:

Yep when they try snatch my sausage.... off the plate when I am eating my food

That must be some sausage.

And girls, if you wanna to get that lovely tattoo of the sunrise rising out of your ass crack... Gorgeous when you're 20, but when you're 50, it's an octopus chasing a fucking starfish ~ Robin Williams
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Reply #26 posted 08/07/16 4:18pm

Horsefeathers

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Pokeno4Money said:



NinaB said:


Pokeno4Money said:

I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?




Not necessarily...irritating maybe lol & claustrophobia inducing eek lol confused Especially 2, 3 & 4. Well, at least u didn't say you keep touching them hmm [Edited 8/7/16 10:58am]


I appreciate your honesty Nina! They are mostly all older women, if they minded they'd let me know or I'd sense it. Some of the things I do, other women do the same thing. lol

Yeah touching is a definite no, even with women who frequently touch me.



I'm old, too. Some of that would be off-putting to me as well. I would not be terribly het up or offended, and I'm pretty chill and unlikely to freak out about it, but dude, personal space. I would not find that flirtatious as much as just (sorry) annoying. Or maybe flirty and annoying.

But again, I'm old. And maybe a bit misanthropic. So there's that.

To answer the question, not a flirt. I tend to be very straightforward in my interactions whether it's interest in friends and more-thans, or anything else. Which I realize is probably off-putting to others, my level of directness. I just genuinely dislike trying to read signals and subtleties, and flirting falls under that category for me. Don't give me signs; use your words. And maybe a venn diagram and PowerPoint presentation. I suck at subtlety, reading and dishing.
[Edited 8/7/16 16:19pm]
Murica: at least it's not Sudan.
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Reply #27 posted 08/07/16 4:27pm

Horsefeathers

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Goddammit, you people are doing it right now, aren't you?

Well, stay off my lawn. *shakes cane, opens hard candy from beaded purse, purses tight little old lady lips*
Murica: at least it's not Sudan.
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Reply #28 posted 08/07/16 4:40pm

NinaB

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Horsefeathers said:

Pokeno4Money said:



NinaB said:


Pokeno4Money said:

I don't view myself as a flirt, because I act the same way with all women ... but people often say I am a flirt.

So you tell me, this is how I am at work:

I have a habit of looking women directly in the eye.
I like to stand close to them, without touching them.
I like to put my arms on their chair while standing next to them.
I will often hop onto their desk and sit next to them during conversations.
I compliment them on their appearance, but only if they've done the same to me
I open doors for them.
I talk in a soft, friendly voice with them.
And I talk about personal subjects with them, only if they've initiated similar discussions in the past

So would you consider me to be a flirt?




Not necessarily...irritating maybe lol & claustrophobia inducing eek lol confused Especially 2, 3 & 4. Well, at least u didn't say you keep touching them hmm [Edited 8/7/16 10:58am]


I appreciate your honesty Nina! They are mostly all older women, if they minded they'd let me know or I'd sense it. Some of the things I do, other women do the same thing. lol

Yeah touching is a definite no, even with women who frequently touch me.



I'm old, too. Some of that would be off-putting to me as well. I would not be terribly het up or offended, and I'm pretty chill and unlikely to freak out about it, but dude, personal space. I would not find that flirtatious as much as just (sorry) annoying. Or maybe flirty and annoying.

But again, I'm old. And maybe a bit misanthropic. So there's that.

To answer the question, not a flirt. I tend to be very straightforward in my interactions whether it's interest in friends and more-thans, or anything else. Which I realize is probably off-putting to others, my level of directness. I just genuinely dislike trying to read signals and subtleties, and flirting falls under that category for me. Don't give me signs; use your words. And maybe a venn diagram and PowerPoint presentation. I suck at subtlety, reading and dishing.
[Edited 8/7/16 16:19pm]



falloff love you!
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #29 posted 08/07/16 4:41pm

NinaB

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Horsefeathers said:

Goddammit, you people are doing it right now, aren't you?

Well, stay off my lawn. *shakes cane, opens hard candy from beaded purse, purses tight little old lady lips*


eek worship
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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