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Okay, I'll try one of my own: Why does a dumb blonde never have ice cubes in her fridge? ... She doesn't know the recipe.  Awright, give us yer dumb blonde jokes! The more the better!  | |
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Hey! What's with all the blonde jokes?? This is discrimination, I tells ya! In other news, did you hear about the blonde who fell out the window? She was ironing the curtains.  | |
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EmmaMcG said: Hey! What's with all the blonde jokes?? This is discrimination, I tells ya! In other news, did you hear about the blonde who fell out the window? She was ironing the curtains. Is your avatar a self portrait? If so, please don't be offended, but I've got another one: A blonde and a dog are standing on top of a skyscraper and want to jump. Who hits the ground first? The dog, because the blonde doesn't know the way. | |
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NorthC said: EmmaMcG said: Hey! What's with all the blonde jokes?? This is discrimination, I tells ya! In other news, did you hear about the blonde who fell out the window? She was ironing the curtains. Is your avatar a self portrait? If so, please don't be offended, but I've got another one: A blonde and a dog are standing on top of a skyscraper and want to jump. Who hits the ground first? The dog, because the blonde doesn't know the way. Yes, my avatar is me. Is it weird that I don't like that joke purely because the dog gets hurt? | |
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What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?“I wonder if it’s mine.” . .
Blonde: “What does IDK mean?”Brunette: “I don’t know.” Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!” . .
Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills. . .
How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat.” . .
Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?Because the box said it was for “2 to 4 years.” . .
[Edited 7/31/16 17:39pm] "Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0 | |
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Okay, here's one I heard some years ago.
The blonde rolled down her window and said, "What's wrong, officer?"
The blonde gets out of the car, so the officer says, "I need you to touch you nose with your index finger on each hand." She does this, and then the officer says, "I need you to walk on that stripe in the middle of the road." The blonde complies and walks down the dividing stripe with no issues. | |
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EmmaMcG said: NorthC said: Is your avatar a self portrait? If so, please don't be offended, but I've got another one: A blonde and a dog are standing on top of a skyscraper and want to jump. Who hits the ground first? The dog, because the blonde doesn't know the way. Yes, my avatar is me. Is it weird that I don't like that joke purely because the dog gets hurt? No. That shows that you're good person.  | |
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Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.  mailto:www.iDon'tThinkSo.com.Uranus | |
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ThisOne said: Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven. My brother just laughed all the way out the door to his car. Lol. What? | |
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"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde." The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied. i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT... 
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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OH!!!! WAIT A MINIT!!! i remember a good one.... a blonde was sittin at the breakfast table with a carton of orange juice and starin at the glass she had filled... after a while the people in the cafe started to be concerned be cause she sat and stared unblinkin for a straight hour... finally a girl goes to her and asked if there was a prollum... the blonde said... "no... the carton says 'concentrate'" i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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Some of my favourites from the Blonde joke craze of like 1992 . How many blondes does it take to make cookies? 2 - one to do the dough and the other to shell the M and M's . Why do blondes wear green lipstick? They think it means go! . How does a blonde turn the light on after having sex? Opens the car door! . How do you confuse a blonde? Give her a piece of paper which has PTO and an arrow on it on both sides! . Why do blondes dye their hair brunette? They think it gives them artificial intelligence! . What do you call 2 line of blondes facing each other? A wind tunnel! . Two blondes are out driving in the country and see another blonde in a field of hay doing rowing motions, One blonde turns to the other and says "It's stupid bitches like her who make people think us blondes are stupid", the other blonde in the car, says "like I know - I would swim out there and slap her if I knew how to swim"! . How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a room full of shovels and tell her to take her pick! . Also I think of dumb blonde stereotypes like Gillian - Brians girlfriend off family guy who must have had an IQ of about 65. Reese Witherspoon full stop and Frenchie. . A national IQ tes TV show a few years ago had an audience made up of several groups (And we are a multi ethnic country) and the blondes scored the lowest average IQ of 79. Highest were Asians with 109, then Brunettes with 105, Politicians with 96, Comedians 92 and League Players (Mostly brown and low IQ) 84. I myself got 130 on the test (Test the nation 2003) Got some kind of love for you, and I don't even know your name | |
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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing away the Ws. There's White Out™ all over the screen. A wind tunnel. An interpreter.
Goes home. What do you call a brunette and two blondes standing on a street corner? Regular price, four bucks, four bucks. [Edited 8/2/16 21:31pm] Sorry, it's the Hodgkin's talking. |
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What do you call a blonde with a brain? A labrador.
What do you call a blonde with a brain? Pregnant. | |
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What happens when a blonde swallows a mosquito? She has more brains in her stomach than in her head. Anyway, some good laughs, people! Thanx! And   2 all the blondes for putting up with this nonsense.  | |
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