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Reply #90 posted 07/18/16 1:17pm

Connected

avatar

AnonymousFan said:

I don't trust this "Connected" guy.



[Edited 7/18/16 19:22pm]

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #91 posted 07/18/16 5:28pm

AnonymousFan

What?

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Reply #92 posted 07/18/16 5:40pm

Connected

avatar

AnonymousFan said:

What?


I think I might owe you an huge apology...

Clearly I took you post the wrong way - you were being a "wiseguy"... get it!!!

Apologise profusely again

I kinda feel like this now... a massive herbert...



[Edited 7/18/16 19:12pm]

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #93 posted 07/19/16 7:34am

domainator2010

JustErin said:

domainator2010 said:

....Out of the 101 things that are now being discussed on this thread, no one ever mentioned....... Romance..... which is what my original post was about!

Erin (or anyone else) - do you like a guy with a good heart?


No, I love guys with evil hearts.

Well, you never *said* anything....... come now, don't hide behind a wisecrack now...

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Reply #94 posted 07/19/16 7:48am

JustErin

avatar

domainator2010 said:

JustErin said:


No, I love guys with evil hearts.

Well, you never *said* anything....... come now, don't hide behind a wisecrack now...


Because I'm pretty sure it's a given that no one actually wants someone with an evil heart.

As for romance, it's so subjective. What's romantic to me is not necessarily romantic to someone else.

As for your original post citing TMBGITW - I'm assuming you're saying it's romantic or that Prince was a romantic...well, to me there is nothing romantic about a dude that is laying all his cheesy romance cards to like 5 chicks at once.

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Reply #95 posted 07/19/16 3:53pm

Connected

avatar

Ooooh I don't know about that!

I've been out with some pretty dark folks - who are seriously into "hate"

And then I was off!

It is a fair point about subjective romance - for example.. I used to have huge rows with my ex about "Valentines"

I just couldn't (still don't) get my head round the whole convoluted...cliche of roses and dinner...just because your supposed to...

BUT...I do understand why it was important to her... back in the office on the 15th...and being able to play "top trumps" with colleagues about what her guy did - and that would make her feel good

For me - it was bullshit

Romance to me, was taking the day off when she went for an interview...and holding her hand on the tube...rehearsing the points she wanted to get across...waiting outside....and then taking her to do a thing we had neither done before...

To occupy her...and alleviate her post-interview anxiety

A drawing class at the RA...

BUT...that's just me...and wouldn't probably count with some...

Guess I'm just a bit square

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #96 posted 07/19/16 4:12pm

JustErin

avatar

Connected said:

Ooooh I don't know about that!



I've been out with some pretty dark folks - who are seriously into "hate"

And then I was off!

It is a fair point about subjective romance - for example.. I used to have huge rows with my ex about "Valentines"

I just couldn't (still don't) get my head round the whole convoluted...cliche of roses and dinner...just because your supposed to...

BUT...I do understand why it was important to her... back in the office on the 15th...and being able to play "top trumps" with colleagues about what her guy did - and that would make her feel good

For me - it was bullshit

Romance to me, was taking the day off when she went for an interview...and holding her hand on the tube...rehearsing the points she wanted to get across...waiting outside....and then taking her to do a thing we had neither done before...

To occupy her...and alleviate her post-interview anxiety

A drawing class at the RA...

BUT...that's just me...and wouldn't probably count with some...

Guess I'm just a bit square



No, I think your idea of romance would fit with many.
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Reply #97 posted 07/19/16 4:40pm

Connected

avatar

I like you Erin...you are clearly tough and a bit guarded...with good reason...

Although your flame is bubbling!

I wish U love...I wish U heaven

X

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #98 posted 07/20/16 2:05am

DaveT

avatar

JustErin said:

domainator2010 said:

Well, you never *said* anything....... come now, don't hide behind a wisecrack now...


Because I'm pretty sure it's a given that no one actually wants someone with an evil heart.

As for romance, it's so subjective. What's romantic to me is not necessarily romantic to someone else.

As for your original post citing TMBGITW - I'm assuming you're saying it's romantic or that Prince was a romantic...well, to me there is nothing romantic about a dude that is laying all his cheesy romance cards to like 5 chicks at once.

Not evil per se, but there's definitely something with some women I've met who are attrached to absolute a-holes ... and then usually moan there are no 'good guys' out there rolleyes I'll never understand that.

www.filmsfilmsfilms.co.uk - The internet's best movie site!
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Reply #99 posted 07/20/16 4:43am

Horsefeathers

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That's because a guy often thinks he's the nice guy and not the asshole.
Murica: at least it's not Sudan.
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Reply #100 posted 07/20/16 5:26am

JustErin

avatar

Horsefeathers said:

That's because a guy often thinks he's the nice guy and not the asshole.


Yeah, exactly.

We've talked about this a billion times before on here. It's not that women don't want nice guys - we all do.

We don't like boring, never do anything crazy dudes.
We don't like men that never make a decision (her: what do you want to do? him: Doesn't matter baby, whatever you want to do).

We don't like men that act towards us the way that they think we want them to act (we know the difference between just going through the motions and being genuine)

I could go on and on...but these are typically some of the things that guys think makes them the "good guy". So, yes we say we want a good guy, but I don't think men and women's definition are the same.


Women like go-getters, guys that are confident, guys that, in a way, have a don't give a fuck attitude (within reason). Do assholes tend to have those traits? Many, yeah.

But thankfully some men have a good balance - those are the ones we want.

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Reply #101 posted 07/20/16 6:05am

NinaB

avatar

JustErin said:



Horsefeathers said:


That's because a guy often thinks he's the nice guy and not the asshole.


Yeah, exactly.

We've talked about this a billion times before on here. It's not that women don't want nice guys - we all do.

We don't like boring, never do anything crazy dudes.
We don't like men that never make a decision (her: what do you want to do? him: Doesn't matter baby, whatever you want to do).


We don't like men that act towards us the way that they think we want them to act (we know the difference between just going through the motions and being genuine)

I could go on and on...but these are typically some of the things that guys think makes them the "good guy". So, yes we say we want a good guy, but I don't think men and women's definition are the same.



Women like go-getters, guys that are confident, guys that, in a way, have a don't give a fuck attitude (within reason). Do assholes tend to have those traits? Many, yeah.

But thankfully some men have a good balance - those are the ones we want.


I have 2 agree. Maybe when people hear 'nice guy' their equating it with some sort of square, passive boring guy? I tried that shit once, yrs ago, didn't last long.
Last straw was we went 2 see a movie, as we were leaving a guy on the street asked him 4 a pound. The way he was & how he responded...I saw the guy consider robbing him! That night we went 2 a club. Guys were literally boofing him outta the way 2 step 2 me! It was ram packed in there, I had 2 put him behind me against the wall!!! Never b4 & never again! In both cases it hit me that if anything kicks off, it's me one that's gonna have 2 deal with it! Sod that! I was raised 2 believe men should be able 2 provide & PROTECT...bring (/contribute) something 2 the table (just 2 be clear, I ain't saying I was raised by women who didn't have their own careers & lived off men) & if the wolves are at the door he needs 2 be able 2 deal with it.
[Edited 7/20/16 6:24am]
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #102 posted 07/20/16 6:11am

DaveT

avatar

JustErin said:

Horsefeathers said:

That's because a guy often thinks he's the nice guy and not the asshole.


Yeah, exactly.

We've talked about this a billion times before on here. It's not that women don't want nice guys - we all do.

We don't like boring, never do anything crazy dudes.
We don't like men that never make a decision (her: what do you want to do? him: Doesn't matter baby, whatever you want to do).

We don't like men that act towards us the way that they think we want them to act (we know the difference between just going through the motions and being genuine)

I could go on and on...but these are typically some of the things that guys think makes them the "good guy". So, yes we say we want a good guy, but I don't think men and women's definition are the same.


Women like go-getters, guys that are confident, guys that, in a way, have a don't give a fuck attitude (within reason). Do assholes tend to have those traits? Many, yeah.

But thankfully some men have a good balance - those are the ones we want.

I get all of that, but I'm talking about women who choose to carry on dating a guy whose cheated on them, was abusive, etc. There's a couple of girls in our office that are like that, and I've got mates who are decent blokes who really struggle ... bizarre...!!

www.filmsfilmsfilms.co.uk - The internet's best movie site!
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Reply #103 posted 07/20/16 6:22am

Horsefeathers

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I guess it's kind of like the perception that all those nice guys are holding out for model types. With a sense of humor, a brain, can cook, her own bank, into your favorite sports team, and a mean bj game. So much, "I'm a nice guy. I should have a woman like that."

I never trust the self-professed nice guys. I agree with Erin that it quickly becomes apparent when it's genuine vs. going through the motions. At least IME. For sure, when he starts advertising his nice guy status, I'm out. Just because other guys are worse doesn't make you a nice guy.
Murica: at least it's not Sudan.
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Reply #104 posted 07/20/16 6:25am

DaveT

avatar

Horsefeathers said:

I guess it's kind of like the perception that all those nice guys are holding out for model types. With a sense of humor, a brain, can cook, her own bank, into your favorite sports team, and a mean bj game. So much, "I'm a nice guy. I should have a woman like that." I never trust the self-professed nice guys. I agree with Erin that it quickly becomes apparent when it's genuine vs. going through the motions. At least IME. For sure, when he starts advertising his nice guy status, I'm out. Just because other guys are worse doesn't make you a nice guy.

Oh, trust me ... couple of my mates would settle for anything with a pulse right now! lol

I'm UK based so may be its a little different over here. I've been told the dating game is quite different in the States.

www.filmsfilmsfilms.co.uk - The internet's best movie site!
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Reply #105 posted 07/20/16 6:36am

NinaB

avatar

Horsefeathers said:

I guess it's kind of like the perception that all those nice guys are holding out for model types. With a sense of humor, a brain, can cook, her own bank, into your favorite sports team, and a mean bj game. So much, "I'm a nice guy. I should have a woman like that."

I never trust the self-professed nice guys. I agree with Erin that it quickly becomes apparent when it's genuine vs. going through the motions. At least IME. For sure, when he starts advertising his nice guy status, I'm out. Just because other guys are worse doesn't make you a nice guy.

"I've never hit a woman, I look after my kids, I work hard, I look after my elderly parents..." (What? Do u want a medal 4 doing shit you're supposed 2 do?!!!) But you're a sneaky fuck who deals in gaslighting, mental/emotional abuse etc etc. A fraud, hypocrite & coward. Snakes in the grass.
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #106 posted 07/20/16 6:43am

Horsefeathers

avatar

NinaB said:

Horsefeathers said:

I guess it's kind of like the perception that all those nice guys are holding out for model types. With a sense of humor, a brain, can cook, her own bank, into your favorite sports team, and a mean bj game. So much, "I'm a nice guy. I should have a woman like that."

I never trust the self-professed nice guys. I agree with Erin that it quickly becomes apparent when it's genuine vs. going through the motions. At least IME. For sure, when he starts advertising his nice guy status, I'm out. Just because other guys are worse doesn't make you a nice guy.

"I've never hit a woman, I look after my kids, I work hard, I look after my elderly parents..." (What? Do u want a medal 4 doing shit you're supposed 2 do?!!!) But you're a sneaky fuck who deals in gaslighting, mental/emotional abuse etc etc. A fraud, hypocrite & coward. Snakes in the grass.


And my absolute favorite, "I have a sister/daughter/mother/whatever important female figure in my life, and I would want someone to treat her right."

Run! RUNNNNN! I will burn tires leaving that guy behind. It has never led to anything good. I swear that's the opening line in Introduction To A Narcissist With Psychopathic Tendencies.
Murica: at least it's not Sudan.
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Reply #107 posted 07/20/16 6:55am

NinaB

avatar

Horsefeathers said:

NinaB said:


"I've never hit a woman, I look after my kids, I work hard, I look after my elderly parents..." (What? Do u want a medal 4 doing shit you're supposed 2 do?!!!) But you're a sneaky fuck who deals in gaslighting, mental/emotional abuse etc etc. A fraud, hypocrite & coward. Snakes in the grass.


And my absolute favorite, "I have a sister/daughter/mother/whatever important female figure in my life, and I would want someone to treat her right."

Run! RUNNNNN! I will burn tires leaving that guy behind. It has never led to anything good. I swear that's the opening line in Introduction To A Narcissist With Psychopathic Tendencies.

lol Oh yes, how could I forget that classic line! "opening line in Introduction to a narcissist with psychopathic tendencies" falloff nod nod oh my days, gonna have 2 steal that one!
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #108 posted 07/20/16 7:12am

JustErin

avatar

DaveT said:

JustErin said:


Yeah, exactly.

We've talked about this a billion times before on here. It's not that women don't want nice guys - we all do.

We don't like boring, never do anything crazy dudes.
We don't like men that never make a decision (her: what do you want to do? him: Doesn't matter baby, whatever you want to do).

We don't like men that act towards us the way that they think we want them to act (we know the difference between just going through the motions and being genuine)

I could go on and on...but these are typically some of the things that guys think makes them the "good guy". So, yes we say we want a good guy, but I don't think men and women's definition are the same.


Women like go-getters, guys that are confident, guys that, in a way, have a don't give a fuck attitude (within reason). Do assholes tend to have those traits? Many, yeah.

But thankfully some men have a good balance - those are the ones we want.

I get all of that, but I'm talking about women who choose to carry on dating a guy whose cheated on them, was abusive, etc. There's a couple of girls in our office that are like that, and I've got mates who are decent blokes who really struggle ... bizarre...!!


Oh, that's the whole, "I'm the one that will make him change to a better person". Yeah, many women do that. It's not that they like being with the abusive asshole - they are obsessed with being with the person they wish he was and think one day he will be.

Classic female flaw.

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Reply #109 posted 07/20/16 7:13am

JustErin

avatar

NinaB said:

Horsefeathers said:
I guess it's kind of like the perception that all those nice guys are holding out for model types. With a sense of humor, a brain, can cook, her own bank, into your favorite sports team, and a mean bj game. So much, "I'm a nice guy. I should have a woman like that." I never trust the self-professed nice guys. I agree with Erin that it quickly becomes apparent when it's genuine vs. going through the motions. At least IME. For sure, when he starts advertising his nice guy status, I'm out. Just because other guys are worse doesn't make you a nice guy.
"I've never hit a woman, I look after my kids, I work hard, I look after my elderly parents..." (What? Do u want a medal 4 doing shit you're supposed 2 do?!!!) But you're a sneaky fuck who deals in gaslighting, mental/emotional abuse etc etc. A fraud, hypocrite & coward. Snakes in the grass.


Haha!

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Reply #110 posted 07/20/16 7:13am

JustErin

avatar

Horsefeathers said:

NinaB said:
"I've never hit a woman, I look after my kids, I work hard, I look after my elderly parents..." (What? Do u want a medal 4 doing shit you're supposed 2 do?!!!) But you're a sneaky fuck who deals in gaslighting, mental/emotional abuse etc etc. A fraud, hypocrite & coward. Snakes in the grass.
And my absolute favorite, "I have a sister/daughter/mother/whatever important female figure in my life, and I would want someone to treat her right." Run! RUNNNNNN! I will burn tires leaving that guy behind. It has never led to anything good. I swear that's the opening line in Introduction To A Narcissist With Psychopathic Tendencies.


falloff

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Reply #111 posted 07/20/16 7:45am

DaveT

avatar

JustErin said:

DaveT said:

I get all of that, but I'm talking about women who choose to carry on dating a guy whose cheated on them, was abusive, etc. There's a couple of girls in our office that are like that, and I've got mates who are decent blokes who really struggle ... bizarre...!!


Oh, that's the whole, "I'm the one that will make him change to a better person". Yeah, many women do that. It's not that they like being with the abusive asshole - they are obsessed with being with the person they wish he was and think one day he will be.

Classic female flaw.

I guess that clarifies it ... never looked at it that way before, but if that's their internal logic it explains alot. Life's too short; I'd just move on to someone who was less of a 'project'...!! smile

www.filmsfilmsfilms.co.uk - The internet's best movie site!
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Reply #112 posted 07/20/16 8:01am

NinaB

avatar

DaveT said:



JustErin said:




DaveT said:




I get all of that, but I'm talking about women who choose to carry on dating a guy whose cheated on them, was abusive, etc. There's a couple of girls in our office that are like that, and I've got mates who are decent blokes who really struggle ... bizarre...!!




Oh, that's the whole, "I'm the one that will make him change to a better person". Yeah, many women do that. It's not that they like being with the abusive asshole - they are obsessed with being with the person they wish he was and think one day he will be.

Classic female flaw.




I guess that clarifies it ... never looked at it that way before, but if that's their internal logic it explains alot. Life's too short; I'd just move on to someone who was less of a 'project'...!! smile


IME a lot of women who stay with men who abuse them suffered abuse &/or neglect (/dysfunction) in their childhoods. Their development/path was rudely interrupted & disturbed/twisted by trauma/s. &/or their mothers were abused/neglected etc (& they witnessed them staying 4 more). Or they were in "Care", had/have no real support. Or come from dysfunctional families (2 one degree or another) Or are just not given healthy direction/self worth/common sense growing up. Or just plain naive, inexperienced, sheltered etc etc etc... I've heard women with black eyes etc say stuff like "Well, I was outta order too & I started it". Predators see those girls coming. Lambs to the slaughter.

Edit; like I said - In My Experience. There's much more I could add, just a few points.
[Edited 7/20/16 8:53am]
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #113 posted 07/20/16 8:32am

maplenpg

Connected said:

Ooooh I don't know about that!

I've been out with some pretty dark folks - who are seriously into "hate"

And then I was off!

It is a fair point about subjective romance - for example.. I used to have huge rows with my ex about "Valentines"

I just couldn't (still don't) get my head round the whole convoluted...cliche of roses and dinner...just because your supposed to...

BUT...I do understand why it was important to her... back in the office on the 15th...and being able to play "top trumps" with colleagues about what her guy did - and that would make her feel good

For me - it was bullshit

Romance to me, was taking the day off when she went for an interview...and holding her hand on the tube...rehearsing the points she wanted to get across...waiting outside....and then taking her to do a thing we had neither done before...

To occupy her...and alleviate her post-interview anxiety

A drawing class at the RA...

BUT...that's just me...and wouldn't probably count with some...

Guess I'm just a bit square

LOL - I'm sorry but I literally had to laugh at this. Having just been through a couple of intense job interviews the last thing I'd have wanted was to go drawing afterwards. A lovely idea and maybe for your G/F perfect but not for me thanks. I guess I'm cheap - a meal or takeaway afterwards so I don't have to cook and a nice bath run for me later would do me just fine post-stressful interview smile

I'm with you about Valentines day though. Bloody rip-off. I've been with my husband 17 years and we've never celebrated it - actually it's his birthday so we never go out on his birthday either as everything is twice the price. It's the little things that matter - so much nicer to get a random bunch of flowers at work with the note 'Just to make you smile' (or similar) than to feel that you have only got the flowers because it happens to be Feb 14th. Impresses the work-mates more as well wink


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Reply #114 posted 07/20/16 8:58am

Connected

avatar

^

Hahahaahahaha!

I get it was an odd choice

In fairness...a bit of context, she loves to draw as a hobby...so taking her to the RA was a bit of a bullseye for me!

I think I came out with this imaginative doozer afterwards!

[img:$uid]http://www.richardgregory.org/papers/recovery_blind/rec_blind_fig_12_own_house_drawing_sm.gif[/img:$uid]

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #115 posted 07/20/16 9:29am

Horsefeathers

avatar

NinaB said:

DaveT said:



JustErin said:




DaveT said:




I get all of that, but I'm talking about women who choose to carry on dating a guy whose cheated on them, was abusive, etc. There's a couple of girls in our office that are like that, and I've got mates who are decent blokes who really struggle ... bizarre...!!




Oh, that's the whole, "I'm the one that will make him change to a better person". Yeah, many women do that. It's not that they like being with the abusive asshole - they are obsessed with being with the person they wish he was and think one day he will be.

Classic female flaw.




I guess that clarifies it ... never looked at it that way before, but if that's their internal logic it explains alot. Life's too short; I'd just move on to someone who was less of a 'project'...!! smile


IME a lot of women who stay with men who abuse them suffered abuse &/or neglect (/dysfunction) in their childhoods. Their development/path was rudely interrupted & disturbed/twisted by trauma/s. &/or their mothers were abused/neglected etc (& they witnessed them staying 4 more). Or they were in "Care", had/have no real support. Or come from dysfunctional families (2 one degree or another) Or are just not given healthy direction/self worth/common sense growing up. Or just plain naive, inexperienced, sheltered etc etc etc... I've heard women with black eyes etc say stuff like "Well, I was outta order too & I started it". Predators see those girls coming. Lambs to the slaughter.

Edit; like I said - In My Experience. There's much more I could add, just a few points.
[Edited 7/20/16 8:53am]


Truth. It just becomes normal. "Every relationship has problems," as justification of some pretty appalling behavior.
Murica: at least it's not Sudan.
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Reply #116 posted 07/20/16 9:43am

Connected

avatar

DaveT said:

Horsefeathers said:

I guess it's kind of like the perception that all those nice guys are holding out for model types. With a sense of humor, a brain, can cook, her own bank, into your favorite sports team, and a mean bj game. So much, "I'm a nice guy. I should have a woman like that." I never trust the self-professed nice guys. I agree with Erin that it quickly becomes apparent when it's genuine vs. going through the motions. At least IME. For sure, when he starts advertising his nice guy status, I'm out. Just because other guys are worse doesn't make you a nice guy.

Oh, trust me ... couple of my mates would settle for anything with a pulse right now! lol

I'm UK based so may be its a little different over here. I've been told the dating game is quite different in the States.

Broadly speaking…my mates are 4 types…

-

Those who are in good marriages

Those who are in loveless marriages but too frightened to walk away from the investment

Those who are dating

Those who are decent lads but lack courage (mainly because of past hurt)

-

I don’t pay much attention to new-media…no smartphone etc…

-

Got my basic shit together – liquid/business/decent motor/wardrobe/bit of gym (no six pack though! Love my food too much!)

-

I feel for my mates who are a bit trepid – they are so scared of women, because they might get hurt again

-

I tell them to be predatorial – because if they walk around trying to be all that a woman wants – then forget it

-

Nowadays…a woman wants a guy who is strong…fit…liquid…handsome…independent

But also a bit soft…sweet…watches whatever “reality” crap is on the telly, whilst being rugged…

-

Some of my mates are so lost in their identity because frankly…they listen too much to women who read cosmo

-

There is a certain amount of emasculation going on where some lads believe they have to be a walking cologne advert (wrongly imo)

-

A man has to know himself – otherwise a woman will run rings round him.

-

There is a marked difference though at being single at 20 and at 40

-

At 20…you are looking to establish something with a partner…at 40, if you have something to offer…you don’t necessarily want a whole new thing – you want companionship whilst maintaining independence

-

Something I find women say they are cool with…but really aren’t

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #117 posted 07/20/16 10:02am

JustErin

avatar

Connected said:

DaveT said:

Oh, trust me ... couple of my mates would settle for anything with a pulse right now! lol

I'm UK based so may be its a little different over here. I've been told the dating game is quite different in the States.

Broadly speaking…my mates are 4 types…

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Those who are in good marriages

Those who are in loveless marriages but too frightened to walk away from the investment

Those who are dating

Those who are decent lads but lack courage (mainly because of past hurt)

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I don’t pay much attention to new-media…no smartphone etc…

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Got my basic shit together – liquid/business/decent motor/wardrobe/bit of gym (no six pack though! Love my food too much!)

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I feel for my mates who are a bit trepid – they are so scared of women, because they might get hurt again

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I tell them to be predatorial – because if they walk around trying to be all that a woman wants – then forget it

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Nowadays…a woman wants a guy who is strong…fit…liquid…handsome…independent

But also a bit soft…sweet…watches whatever “reality” crap is on the telly, whilst being rugged…

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Some of my mates are so lost in their identity because frankly…they listen too much to women who read cosmo

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There is a certain amount of emasculation going on where some lads believe they have to be a walking cologne advert (wrongly imo)

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A man has to know himself – otherwise a woman will run rings round him.

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There is a marked difference though at being single at 20 and at 40

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At 20…you are looking to establish something with a partner…at 40, if you have something to offer…you don’t necessarily want a whole new thing – you want companionship whilst maintaining independence

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Something I find women say they are cool with…but really aren’t


Which part do you mean when you say women are not "cool with"? Being with someone that is independent?

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Reply #118 posted 07/20/16 10:04am

NinaB

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Horsefeathers said:

NinaB said:


IME a lot of women who stay with men who abuse them suffered abuse &/or neglect (/dysfunction) in their childhoods. Their development/path was rudely interrupted & disturbed/twisted by trauma/s. &/or their mothers were abused/neglected etc (& they witnessed them staying 4 more). Or they were in "Care", had/have no real support. Or come from dysfunctional families (2 one degree or another) Or are just not given healthy direction/self worth/common sense growing up. Or just plain naive, inexperienced, sheltered etc etc etc... I've heard women with black eyes etc say stuff like "Well, I was outta order too & I started it". Predators see those girls coming. Lambs to the slaughter.

Edit; like I said - In My Experience. There's much more I could add, just a few points.
[Edited 7/20/16 8:53am]


Truth. It just becomes normal. "Every relationship has problems," as justification of some pretty appalling behavior.

Tell me about it.
My Mum showed me at a young age you do whatever it takes 2 put a stop 2 it. That it is not normal, natural or acceptable.
Which reminds me..."When bad behaviour is not punished it automatically creates a context 4 it 2 happen again. When you do nothing about bad behaviour, then you're actually supporting it's repeating itself".
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #119 posted 07/20/16 10:25am

Horsefeathers

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Reality tv. Cosmo. I am womaning all wrong. lol
Murica: at least it's not Sudan.
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