It was a dark and stormy thread, the kind he avoided to the best of his abilities. Its thumb down icon should have been warning enough... but not that fateful night.

He was not nor had he ever been an orgsessive person. Every day after dinner, he would check the Org forums for a relevant topic. Between chain threads and various homages, salutes and dedications to other more illustrious posters, he would generally find that luminous topic that suited his pensive personality. Certainly, he had tried to be lighter, sometimes contributing to the more mundane threads, partaking in the banter late at night when insomnia striked again.

But that night, something in the title proved irressistible. Perhaps it was the sexual innuendo mixed with barely hidden aggressivity. For whatever reason, he chose to click the link and be sucked into the vortex and take that guided tour through the seven circles of Org hell.

The first circle was innoccuous enough. The simple he had typed to convey his impatience was not a frequent part of his orgcabulary. Yet he typed it. Little did he know the forces he had gone against. One by one, they replied, each more vociferous than the nest, unrelenting in their anger.

At first he thought he should apologize, but something in the replies did not compute. Why did his comment against one reply generate such a backlash? He decided to stand his ground, hoping that logic and objectivity would win the day. Alas, he was naive... Behind the scenes, the Forces were plotting his demise.

To be continued

Excellent work.

waitin 4 the next installment...good read, aero!!!

christ...


gay men piss me off because they dont want me

The following night, after a tasteful pot roast dinner, he checked the Org for his usual fare. To his surprise, Page One had no less than four threads clearly created to taunt him.

The first one was one of these tribute threads were everyone says who they like best in relation to a certain posting ability. So he was not one of the sexiest Orgers. "Big deal", he mused while proceeding to the next thread, this time about who was the smartest. He looked in vain for his name to appear. He ed, telling himself perhaps he had been all too unassuming.

The third thread hit him hard. There, for all to see, someone had said he was "pompous". "Moi?", he scoffed incredously while sipping French liquor and pulling furiously at the sleeves of his smoking. He would not stand for such slander.

To be continued
[This message was edited Sun Mar 30 16:38:57 PST 2003 by Aerogram]

very nice... Aerogram... 7 stars smile...

Great stuff Aero...

His next move was as ill-thought as it was sincere. He clicked "Create a topic" resolutely, like a man who knew what he had to do. But did knew what he was doing? He typed the title : "I Am NOT Pompous"

Behind the curtain, the Forces rejoiced. The news that he had bitten the bait spread like fire in dry vegetation. "If you say so, " was the first reply. Then a coterie of friends and hanger ons weighted in, each with a remark filled with hatred and condescension.

He could have answered each and every one of them personally, but he thought that was bad strategy. "I'll type one reply for all of them and go back to my bridge game", he thought. Not enough.

To be continued.

What followed was a most scathing attack. Not only was he called pompous, but he was accused of being dumb. He was petrified. After all, he had mused about choosing "IceTine" as a username. His next thread, "I am NOT dumb", was even less productive than the previous. Something was wrong... he had been sucked in.

By now, he was reading the insults more calmly. What if they were right? Not only were the darts hurting, but he was starting to doubt himself despite his 210 IQ. He remembered what a dumbass Einstein had been at times... perhaps he had been overconfident? Self-doubt was getting more pervasive by the post.

Then an Orgnote. Simple but direct, it had come from an unknown source, someone who had never posted to his knowledge. It said simply "Have you had enough?" Well, he had had his share. He replied "yes" and asked who was writing.

"I am the ONE", said the next Orgnote. The ONE? Prince? Ben? Icenine, perhaps? Details followed... "I am the leader of The Force. The Force is an organized network of 15 Orgers and their secondary personality. We control everything. Even those you think are your most trusted confidents."

Needless to say, he was shocked. Not long after the first incident, he had started taking Paxil to counter what he thought were paranoid thoughts, and here he was, finding out that there had really been a plot, a vendetta even! It was too much to take.

To be continued

i love this shit...

He sent an Orgnote to a close friend, AzureStar.

"Dear Azure,

I am the victim of the most devil-ish machination the Org has ever known! Just last night, I discovered that my enemies know everything I type. Thankfully, I have destroyed their spying program. You are one of the few that I still trust."

Azure's answer was not at all what he expected. She had replied with a simple smiley, but it did not feel like a smile... More like a knife in the back. Could it be that The One was not kidding? That everyone had been recruited into The Force, except him? There was only one way to find out.

To be continued.
[This message was edited Sun Mar 30 18:07:28 PST 2003 by Aerogram]

:OMG:

Damn, "Dark Shadows" ain't got shit on "The Org".

He logged off from his identity and clicked the registration link. He had never created a secondary identity before. Should he be a boy or a girl? Old or young? Sincere or cartoonish?

He created Muse2blowpharaoh, a 21 yeer old brunette with a dry wit but still a zest of innocence. "She" posted and on nearly every thread, hanged in the chat room and worked on her networking. He had some fun wearing this mask, flirting with the big shots who craved the attention of young women.

The first to bite was Icenine, the Org's Hugh Heffner and Don Juan Extraordinaire : "I've got a webcam. Would you be interested in joining me?". "She" accepted, warning that she did not had a camera.

Later that day, he logged on to Yahoo and found Icenine's cam. When the image came up, he saw that Icenine was not wearing a shirt. His sinuous chest was hairless save for a strange triangle of hair between his pecs.. dyed green.

Twisting his voice to sound like a girl, he spoke :

- Whoohoo... Ice, my gawd... You are a feast to the eyes!

- Hehehehee... Am I?

- Yes. What a shame you can't see me shirtless right now.

- Take it off anyway...

- Bad boy!

- Evil boy, even!

- It's off now!

The conversation proceeded in this fashion for half an hour. Then he asked...

- Have you ever heard of The Force?

A long silence followed.

- Yes, I have.

- What is it?

- Hmmm... I can't tell you. Unless...

- Unless what?

- There's this rite of passage.. you'll never guess.

- Try me.

- You have to send me a shirtless picture.

- With my boobs showing?

- Hopefully!

- Hmmm... ok. Why not? You've shown me yours.

- I know they are developed, but I don't think they qualify as boobs.

- They are male boobies to me.

- Ah... ok. Well, send me your pictures and I'll speak to the One.

To be continued.
[This message was edited Sun Mar 30 18:52:22 PST 2003 by Aerogram]

The next day, he visited a lesbian friend, the lipstick kind who's game for anything. He explained his situation. People were plotting against him and all he needed now was a picture of a pretty woman showing her boobs. After the inevitable disbelief and giggles, the lipsticked lezzie obliged. Before he left, she asked why he had not picked some picture off a porn site. He explained that Icenine was too likely to have ssen most of them. "Careful with these wackos.." she advised.

He sent the pictures that evening. The reply came immediately. "You have been accepted." Now he would know! Now perhaps he could sleep! He waited patiently for the crucial membership info that was to arrive by email for extra security. It came shortly after midnight.

"Dear Muse2blowpharaoh,

What you are about to do is of the utmost importance. I urge you to read our Chart and reflect on its contents. For once you've been accepted in The Force, you can never depart without dire consequences.

The One."

To be continued.
[This message was edited Sun Mar 30 19:13:50 PST 2003 by Aerogram]

:::picking up the and heading to the :::



dang bathroom breaks!!!

So read the Chart he did. Attentively, over and over.

"The 1st rule of the Force is : don't talk about The Force. The second rule of The Force is : don't talk about The Force"... and on and on, exactly like Fight Club. The penalty for trying to leave The Force? Boob pic sent to boss in a perfumed envelope, with an offer of sexual services. He laughed at the thought of Mrs. Baxter getting a nude picture from a lipstick femme... she'd probably cream her pants right away.

He wanted to know who as the Tyler Durden of The Force. It could not be Icenine... too easy. Battier? Unlikely. Haystack... hmmm, yeah he could be evil enough, but the whole thing lacked a certain tasteful gayness.

It was clear that The One's identity would not be revealed so easily. Later that day, Icenine was again on Yahoo, wanting to show his body as usual. This time he convinced him to take off his pants as a bonding experience while he snapped a few pictures of his jewels, just in case. In his best female voice, he asked...

- Have you ever met The One?

- Many times.

- Can I meet him?

- Maybe...

- Don't tell me I've got to do a full frontal.

- You are so very smart.

- Ok, I'll send the pictures.

- Not pictures. Video!

- What? This is getting ridiculous.

- You don't have to do it. Only if you want to meet The One.

- For fuck's sake...

- Heheheee.. suddenly you sound like Laureen Bacall.

He cursed himself for forgetting to squeeze his voice and resumed the girly talk.

- Ok, sweetie, I'll send a video. Just give me a few days.

To be continued.

It was a bitch to ask his lezzie friend for a video. "You're in over your head, boy!", she said before dropping it all. "Should I just sashay, or am I expected to wip out the ol' dildo?" He suggested she just stand there eating wild strawberries suggestively.

Back to his place, he converted the tape into .mov file of about 10 seconds and sent it to the nondescript email address that had been used. Later that night, he received a message. Clicking it open, a simple line stood out in bold.

Nice try, Aerogram

The One

The End
[This message was edited Sun Mar 30 21:08:33 PST 2003 by Aerogram]