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Forums > General Discussion > It's Mother's Day!! (In the UK, anyway!)
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Thread started 03/30/03 5:39am

JimmyNothing

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It's Mother's Day!! (In the UK, anyway!)

Happy Mother's Day to all of the org's mummies! party woot! rose

To celebrate mother's day at the org, I'd like to dedicate this thread to my mum and allow you all to dedicate it to your mum's! heart

Share with us all a happy memory of your mum and tell us about one of the little things that she done for you that you really appreciate!


hug mums hug
[This message was edited Sun Mar 30 7:37:41 PST 2003 by JimmyNothing]
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Reply #1 posted 03/30/03 5:45am

Blackcat

MOM - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us would have done it!!!




POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPON! SIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accou! ntability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AN! D COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and this wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE WONDERFUL MOMS OUT THERE!!!


.
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Reply #2 posted 03/30/03 6:31am

DORA

it better not be mothers day


:OMFG:


there are NO presents or good intentions in sight..!!!
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Reply #3 posted 03/30/03 7:34am

lovemachine

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Mother's Day is May 11.
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Reply #4 posted 03/30/03 7:36am

JimmyNothing

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Mother's Day is May 11th in te US???

Wow, mother's day is today here in the UK! I had no idea that we celebrated mother's day on different dates! When do you guys have New Year over there?? Ours is August 12th party
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Reply #5 posted 03/30/03 9:52am

REDFEATHERS

heart Happy heart Mother's heart Day!!! heart



hug and kisses go out to my Mum and my Grandma, and all others out there!


rose rose rose rose
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Forums > General Discussion > It's Mother's Day!! (In the UK, anyway!)