Recently a (female) friend of mine started a new job for extra (needed) monies. problem has arisen. one female worker at the new job started touching her by rubbing and patting her back at intervals during the day.

my friend told this particular employee/co worker that she did not feel comfortable with the touching and to please respect the request.

seems the toucher got miffed and shared the incident with other female employees.

since then two other employees have begun to engage in the unwanted touching by:

coming up behind my friend unexpectantly and attempted to massage her shoulders

hip bumping

and the intitial employee now passes by my friend and continues this harassment by brushing her arm with a finger

these three coworker women are on the job associates in the area my friend works.

finally

my friend brought the concern to her manager after 3weeks of this nonsense.

the manager agreed with my friend in that unwanted physical touching is not allowed and would send out a memo to all employees about unwanted touching in the workplase.

however that same day while my friend was training a new male employee, the manager came by to observe the training. the manager then added some positive words on the training, then before leaving the area he patted the new make employee on the back with words of encouragement then walked away.

as of three days after my friend bringing the issue up to the manager, no memo has been sent out on the subject.

my friend wants to report this to corporate hr headquarters but is reluctant.

>

she asked me for advice. i think she should be careful and try to find a way on her own without going further.

what should she do?

[Edited 4/20/16 9:38am]

I'm not sure if it depends on the State. In California such things are serious and are damaging to companies so most provide some sort of education to their management to prevent certain types of behaviors, not all I'm sure but most. Going to Human Resources in the company is a start. Do they have some sort of Employee Assistance Program? That would be a way to go to ensure your friend privacy and head off retaliation.

Nobody has the right to invade another individual's personal space. Rude seems to be in fashion these days, though.

She should talk to a lawyer, who will tell her if she has a cause of action or not.

I know some people are very touchy, feely in the workplace. Much of it, I think, is very inappropriate. I think it's okay to do it with someone you are really cool with. But, generally, it's hands off in the workplace. If she can't get any satisfaction from her Manager, the next step would be to go to HR. Once you have told someone you feel uncomfortable being touched and if they continue to do it, you definately have the right to file harrassment complaints. Many companies will even terminate you if you, after an official written warning, participate in that kind of behavior and they continue receive complaints about it. Your friend should not be afraid to take her complaint to HR. It's her place of employment, not a bar.

At least now, for the most part, there are legal actions you can take. When I started working, it was an expected fact that people, young women in particular, had to put up with unwanted touching and remarks in the work place. One had to develop a tolerant sense of humor or look for another job. If someone said anything about it, especially if the complaint was about one's supervisor, that person could lose their job.

purplethunder3121 said:

At least now, for the most part, there are legal actions you can take. When I started working, it was an expected fact that people, young women in particular, had to put up with unwanted touching and remarks in the work place. One had to develop a tolerant sense of humor or look for another job. If someone said anything about it, especially if the complaint was about one's supervisor, that person could lose their job.

well i wonder if since it's female on female touching, the unwanted touching is not taken as seriously as if it were male on female touching.

seems there's no standard put in place for such.

however i feel any unwanted touching once the toucher has been addressed should cease. once a person has been been told by the person being touched, if the touching continues it could be deemed "bullying."

free2bfreeda said:

purplethunder3121 said:

At least now, for the most part, there are legal actions you can take. When I started working, it was an expected fact that people, young women in particular, had to put up with unwanted touching and remarks in the work place. One had to develop a tolerant sense of humor or look for another job. If someone said anything about it, especially if the complaint was about one's supervisor, that person could lose their job.

well i wonder if since it's female on female touching, the unwanted touching is not taken as seriously as if it were male on female touching.

seems there's no standard put in place for such.

however i feel any unwanted touching once the toucher has been addressed should cease. once a person has been been told by the person being touched, if the touching continues it could be deemed "bullying."

This is true about "female on female" touching, which is just as valid as male on female. It was not really a factor in my younger days. It may be a bigger issue than it was years ago. I agree that once a person of any gender is told to stop the unwanted touching, it should stop. However, efforts to stop bullying can actually make it escalate in reality--whether it is in the adult workplace or high school.

that's a tricky situation. i would definitely follow up and ask the manager to send out that memo. make sure the manager knows that the unwanted contact has continued unabated.

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after the memo has been sent out and is official policy, in order to make sure that everyone in the office is aware of the touching when it occurs, i would loudly! (not shouting, just a big, big voice) remark anytime someone made contact, to ensure that there are witnesses to the harassment.

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for example: WOW, YOU REALLY STARTLED ME WITH THAT PAT ON THE BACK. PLEASE DON'T DO THAT AGAIN. THANKS.

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also, i'd document each and every unwanted contact in writing. if the manager does not follow up, it's time to go to the corporate office and speak with someone there, providing documentation to that individual. having a cellphone camera nearby wouldn't hurt.

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sadly, it sounds like your poor friend is working with cunts in a crappy work environment. and what purple said above is true, when we confront bullies they will often escalate. your friend might not be happy there, when she defends herelf. BUT no matter what, your friend is legally and morally in the right. she should not be ashamed of making an effort to address the situation.

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from: http://zhlaw.com/practice...-touching/

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UNWANTED PHYSICAL TOUCHING IN THE WORKPLACE

When it comes to physical contact between people, what to one person is friendliness or a casual expression of affection may to another feel like an encroachment upon personal space. Many times, this is cultural. In some cultures, people are raised on exuberant expressions of affection with a lot of kissing, hugging, back-slapping, and even rough-housing. In others, even close family members maintain a degree of physical reserve.

CULTURAL AND PERSONAL ATTITUDES TOWARD PHYSICAL TOUCHING

Not only are there cultural differences in the amount of physical contact that is acceptable, individuals have varying degrees of tolerance for touch that are idiosyncratic. In other words, some people are simply more sensitive to touch than others as a matter of individual taste. Whereas one person may welcome a casual shoulder massage from a co-worker, another may feel violated.

In the workplace, touching others can leave someone open to misinterpretation or accusations of harassment. People need to be aware that certain actions are simply not appropriate in the work environment, as they may be considered demeaning, humiliating, harassing, or otherwise offensive by the recipient, even if the intention is platonic. Of course there are those whose ostensibly platonic signs of affection are a cover for sexual intent.

EXAMPLES OF UNWELCOME PHYSICAL CONTACT

Other than overt grabbing or pinching of breasts, groin, or buttocks which most would agree constitute sexual harassment, these are some forms of physical contact that some people find unwelcome and should be avoided at work:

• Hugging
• Kissing (even on the cheek)
• Stroking
• Massaging
• Back-patting
• Hair-ruffling
• Handshakes held too long
• Linking arms
• Light (or otherwise) slapping of the buttocks
• Hip bumping
• Putting an arm around someone’s shoulders or a hand on their arm
• Holding someone’s hand
• Poking or pointing with a finger

HOW TO HANDLE UNWANTED PHYSICAL CONTACT AT WORK

If you are dealing with a co-worker who consistently violates your personal space and makes physical contact that you are uncomfortable with, you should calmly ask him or her to stop the behavior. It might be entirely innocent, and once your fellow employee realizes that the touch is unwanted, it may never happen again. Problem solved. But if the unwanted touching continues after you’ve made your wishes clearly known, you may need to take the problem to the next level and speak to a manager about it.

COMPANY RESPONSIBILITY

It is the responsibility of a company’s management to maintain an environment where everyone is respected, and this includes being aware of and honoring each employee’s sensitivities about physical touch. If the touching is of a sexual nature and you have made your preference not to be touched clear and approached your supervisor about the problem and it has not stopped, it may have reached the level of creating a hostile working environment.

LEGAL ASSISTANCE

At this point, you may need to file a formal complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) or the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing (DFEH). You should consult an employment attorney to help you file your complaint and advise you on initiating a lawsuit against your employer.

If the touching that offends you is not associated with your sex or inclusion in a class that is protected by law, you may be able to makes a claim for civil assault or battery.

In San Diego and the surrounding area, the attorneys at the law firm of Zeldes, Haeqquist, & Eck, LLP, will provide you with the advice and assistance you need in filing your sexual harassment or civil battery claim. We are sensitive to your needs and firmly committed to a California workplace in which every employee’s dignity is respected at all times. We will determine if you have valid cause to make a complaint and help you file it with the appropriate agency. Once we receive a “right to sue” letter, we can initiate a lawsuit on your behalf against your employer.

FREE CASE CONSULTATION AT ZELDES, HAEQQUIST & ECK, LLP

At Zeldes, Haeqquist & Eck, LLP, we offer a free initial consultation. It is important that you act promptly, because state and federal statutes restrict the amount of time you have to file your claim. By waiting too long, you could lose your right to legal remedies for the harassing behavior. Protect that right by calling today.

XxAxX said:

When it comes to physical contact between people, what to one person is friendliness or a casual expression of affection may to another feel like an encroachment upon personal space.

I don't mind it as long as she's hot.

uPtoWnNY said:

XxAxX said:

When it comes to physical contact between people, what to one person is friendliness or a casual expression of affection may to another feel like an encroachment upon personal space.

I don't mind it as long as she's hot.

RodeoSchro said:

She should talk to a lawyer, who will tell her if she has a cause of action or not.

INDEED. Tell her to do so, immediately, and to ask around for a referral to an experienced employment law attorney.

uPtoWnNY said:

XxAxX said:

When it comes to physical contact between people, what to one person is friendliness or a casual expression of affection may to another feel like an encroachment upon personal space.

I don't mind it as long as she's hot.

i had an employer once cop a feel when he handed me a file. he's a lawyer.