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I feel guilty even though i dont think i should.... My roommate boyfriend is an alcoholic. No judgements, cuz II am an addict. Buuuuut... He's a violent alcoholic and has assaulted, badly, my roommate while drunk. Several weeks ago after I herniated a disc, I was given some hydrocodone and oxycodone rx's by a doc. The alcoholic offered to buy some but I declined knowing his issues. I needed the money and had sold a couple to others, but not to him cuz of the AA thing, knowing he was attempting, or at least pretending, to maintain sobriety. This moment passed, no big deal. A week later I was short a pack of ciggs and asked alcoholic roommate to borrow $ for a pack of smokes and I said I'd pay him back the next day or something.. He helped me out. Next day came and I didn't have change for a twenty or something so I paused paying him back and he said it was no big deal. 3 days later I gave it to him when I had the change. I should have gone made the change and gave it back the day I promised, but I didn't. A week or so later I see dude skipping in and out of the laundry room which is outside of the house several times a day for 10-15 second periods. The only thing to do in our laundry room is laundry...or abandon some junk. He never had any apparent junk. I eventually check and there's 6-7 empty pint vodka bottles. I ask him about it on the sly and he tried to totally play it off like gf knows he's drinking. I just keep my mouth shut cuz it ain't my shit and I'm trying to not get involved at this point. On Sat, I'm leaving house to go get summin to eat, and he asked me on the sly to pick him up a pint bottle of skol vodka. My dumb ass....out of sheer stupidity...but what I'd like to blame on guilt over the 5 dollar thing...does it. Even in loan status. He didn't have the dough for it...asked me to front it for him. My stupid ass did it. Today...I hear her arguing with him on the phone over taking a drug test. He was adamant about not taking a test, she was standing her ground that he should. Phone convo ends. I was feeling bad about what I had done and not done. Bought him booze as well as not telling her I knew he had been drinking. So I went and told her all that happened and threw him under the bus. I feel bad about it but also feel it was the right thing for everyone. Her, him, and me. She thanked me for my honesty and is making preparations to kick him out.....again.... I was scared she be mad at me and I am hoping, foolishly and shamefully, that dude don't find out I ratted him out.... Just to be sure...despite it being the fact that I ratted on someone, I did the right thing, right? | |
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Get another roommate. "Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0 | |
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purplethunder3121 said: Get another roommate. Eventually I will. When I encounter a g/f I can live with, will do so. I'm not paying the extra to live alone. I get depressed to easily when I live alone. When the alcoholic b/f ain't around, things is cool. They're mostly cool even when alcoholic b/f is around....at least from my perspective. My actual roommate, the girl also homeowner, is heavy in AA(big book thumper) and never breaks her sobriety. She also doesn't require sobriety from me. Boyfriendless is how I moved in. I prefer it that way, but not my house to make rules in. I have a HUGE room, a private bath, cable and internet...its nice. I'd just rather she didn't believe him when he says he's gonna stay sober....cuz he won't. [Edited 11/9/15 18:15pm] | |
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1. For $50.00 I won't tell him what you did. Cash only, please! 2. Sounds like he needs something to get him out of self-destrucct mode. If you did what you did for the right reasons then you'll sleep well. | |
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You done good being honest but dont buy him any more booze.....I'm concerned about the fact that he's a mean drunk. Y'all be careful. Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise. | |
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Look after you first, at least where safety is a concern. Bad environment. 
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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Maybe you could go with him to AA and become his accountability partner. Because right now it sounds like you're his enabler. | |
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RodeoSchro said: Maybe you could go with him to AA and become his accountability partner. Because right now it sounds like you're his enabler. Touché. But no. Not my job. Also...I did a stint with AA and their not god but god talk is too much for me. Also, I'm not his only enabler. And I point(yes I'm biased) to he necessity to come to terms with his condition and try to control it more than me enabling him. I treated him like a person...not an alcoholic. Is there fault there? sure...but more than that, he is a grown man in/out of AA. At the end of the day, there was 9 bottles of vodka....I bought 1. Call me an enabler...not his enabler...like its all on me or something. | |
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Personally, I hate a bunch of non-sensical drama, and I've been the kind of person who gets sucked into the vortex of other people's mess because I'm mushy hearted and think I know how to help. I've learned some interesting lessons based on my personality type. Stay out of other people's business when I don't know enough of the details.
You were not wrong in telling your roommate, take care of where you live. | |
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RodeoSchro said:
It's all good. I know u mean well, but I can't personally support or endorse church stuff. That would be something he'd have to do on his own if he wanted. Especially Joel osteen. Dude needs some therapy and help with resolving the pains he attempting to numb. Imo...a good therapist, and some dedicatikn on his part will do the trick. Otherwise... It's not my responsibility to help this guy. My business is keeping my life straight...that takes enough of my time. If I had time to help...I'd help someone who wanted it. I've had and have addiction issues and I see he's not in a where he wants help. But from here on out I'm not involved, only to the extent where it affects me personally or the safety of the place I live in. She's locked him out and took of to her parents for the day and night. I'm away visiting my mamma and pa. He ain't got a key and will have to break in if he really wants to. He's persona non grata for now. I definitely feel my roommate will get Mack with him in 6 months or so when she's lonely enough. And this will all repeat. | |
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morningsong said: Personally, I hate a bunch of non-sensical drama, and I've been the kind of person who gets sucked into the vortex of other people's mess because I'm mushy hearted and think I know how to help. I've learned some interesting lessons based on my personality type. Stay out of other people's business when I don't know enough of the details.
You were not wrong in telling your roommate, take care of where you live. Yeah....I know I should have avoided personal entanglements. I did largely do that....but addiction.....nicotine to b exact here....is a motherfucker...u'll do shit u know u ain't supposed to. | |
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Well, then you know where he's coming from with his problems. | |
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this is quite the personal problem. have you figured out how to address the issue yet? | |
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