A Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-35 about 2 miles south of Waco Texas. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a magician and a juggler and was on his way to Austin to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said that if the driver would do a little juggling for him, then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The trooper said he had some flares and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Trooper's car. A drunken good old boy from central Texas got out, watched the performance, then went over to the trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to his car and opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test."

Two men are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window and "WHACK," the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver says, "What the heck was that for?"

The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."

The driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and "WHACK," the trooper smacks him with the nightstick, too.

The passenger says, "What did you do that for?"

The trooper says, "Just making your wish come true."

The passenger says, "Huh?"

The trooper says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that jerk would've tried that bull with me.'"

1st man: I woke up this morning and felt so bad that I tried to kill myself by taking a thousand aspirin.

2nd man: Oh really, what happened?

1st man: After the first two, I felt better.

A man who was an avid golfer finally got a once in a lifetime chance for an audience with the Pope. After standing in line for hours, he got to the Pope and said, "Holiness, I have a question that only you can answer. You see, I love golf, and I feel a real need to know if there is a golf course in heaven. If not -- I would'n care if I went o hell! Can you tell me if there is?"

The Pope considered for a moment, and replied, "I do not know the answer to your question, my son, but I will talk to God and get back with you."

The next day, the man is called for another audience with the Pope to receive the answer to his question. He stood before the Pope, who said, "My son, I have some great news, some good news and some bad news in relation to your question.

The great news is that there IS an 18-hole magnificent golf course."

The man fell on his knees in delight, then asked, "what is the good news?"

The Pope, looking a little nettled continued, "The good news is that you've been booked to tee off this afternoon -- right after this audience."

This startled the man, but in a moment he said, "With such a golf course, I suppose that could be considered good news. But, you said there was bad news, too. What is that?"

The Pope, who also loved golf, knitted his brows and said, "Every shot is always a hole-in one."

With that, the man keeled over and died.

Well...living in Texas....yeah Im mad

nursev said:

Well...living in Texas....yeah Im mad

purplethunder3121 said:

Smokey & the bandit or BJ & the bear?

nursev said:

purplethunder3121 said:

Smokey & the bandit or BJ & the bear?

Smokey