Regret. Self-doubt. Fear of messaging a friend too much.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about this one person. I think I like her. Actually I know I like her. But the problem I’m having is that she never really talks to me as much as she and I use to. I do keep in mind that she has a ton of friends, and let’s just say I’m not up there with the “besties” or whatever, I think. But I’ve always had a crush on her. It’s just now, I think about it more. Too much. But anyways as I was sayin’, she has a ton of friends, the amount the every day teenage girl does. But as a dude, in my teenage years, I don’t have a lot of friends. I mean it’s better than what it used to be so I’m happier where I’m at now.

But to get to the point, I sometimes (very often) get an urge to send her a text or message her on facebook. You know, just to keep up. But sometimes she don't respond and that’s okay. Like I could want to message her this one thing, but I always have this feeling of doubt because I don't want to text her too much..

I'll be honest, ever since November of last year, I've been getting my hopes up... I thought that "now since her and I are talking, maybe it will progress and eventually we'll become better friends"..

But no... didn't really turn out like that as of now.

I've always sort of thought things out like that, not sure why.. I never go with the flow. I'm constantly inside my head, worrying about the future... And not really open to talk to many people in my personal life about it...

Call her.

For one thing, you'll stand out. For another thing, you'll get to hear her voice. For a third thing, you'll never have to worry about the context of a text message again.

RodeoSchro said:

PurpleSkipper58 said:

RodeoSchro said:

Call her.

For one thing, you'll stand out. For another thing, you'll get to hear her voice. For a third thing, you'll never have to worry about the context of a text message again.

I asked her if she wanted to hang out, and she mentioned "tag along". I'm not sure how I feel about that, 1) because I'm shy and idk how to respond.

If you are with her, then you have a chance to grow the relationship. Tell her you'd be honored to hang out, tag along, or be around her in any way.

RodeoSchro said:

it sounds like she doesn't really dig you... i could be wrong though

be careful not to tie your self esteem to another person

if you come across as needy it'll be a major turn off

what would i do?... i'd say "hey... i like you and think you're hot... let's go see a movie"

if she shoots you down, shrug it off and get on with your life

learn to play guitar... chicks love it

good luck

PurpleSkipper58 said:

RodeoSchro said:

If you are with her, then you have a chance to grow the relationship. Tell her you'd be honored to hang out, tag along, or be around her in any way.

Crap. She mentioned tomorrow. And I'm busy then. I mentioned Friday, she said she had to wait an see

Change your plans for tomorrow.

MoBettaBliss said:

it sounds like she doesn't really dig you... i could be wrong though

be careful not to tie your self esteem to another person

if you come across as needy it'll be a major turn off

what would i do?... i'd say "hey... i like you and think you're hot... let's go see a movie"

if she shoots you down, shrug it off and get on with your life

learn to play guitar... chicks love it

good luck

There is no better advice than that!

RodeoSchro said:

RodeoSchro said:

Don't force her to be with you. Seems she is not that interested. Seems you are chasing her.

And her response of "wait and see" regarding Friday tells me that she is not in a hurry to be with you or she has other plans and is waiting the outcome whether it pans out or not, and then what are you?, her back up plan or not at all?

You could just phone her and ask her directly whether she likes you as just a friend or if she likes you more than.

Good luck.

MoBettaBliss said:

it sounds like she doesn't really dig you... i could be wrong though

be careful not to tie your self esteem to another person

if you come across as needy it'll be a major turn off

what would i do?... i'd say "hey... i like you and think you're hot... let's go see a movie"

if she shoots you down, shrug it off and get on with your life

learn to play guitar... chicks love it

good luck

Good advice

PurpleSkipper58 said:

I must've been born to be lonely... I guess not every guy has what it takes to get a girl or anyone to like him.. I mean at one point, I thought I did. Ahh oh well, back to depressing songs. Thanks for everyone, again. I appreciate it

You are what you say you are. If you say you are happy, joyful and charming, then you will be.

Try it for a month and tell me I'm wrong. Betcha won't.

PurpleSkipper58 said:

Ok. So, she told me that at first she couldn't get a ride. I found one. She said that she'd have to ask tomorrow. I was like, "ok, cool". Next morning (today), she said she couldn't because her parent said she had things to do. At first I was positive about it. I was like "ok, maybe another time." But then for some reason, I started thinking about how older friends have treated me in the past. So I thought instead of being passive about it, I tried to be aggressive about it. And it was WRONG, I shouldn't have done it! I hate myself for that. I think I was thinking about myself too much, I forgot that she has a busy life. "I'm NOT going to let people cut me down, take advantage, and be cruel to me like (blank) did! I have to be smarter than that.." About like 3 messages from her later explaining her situation i responded "I'm truly sorry. I just was thinking of how people treated me in the pass, I got a little paranoid about it... But I shouldn't of said all that.." Then she said, "You arent the only one. Dont talk to me anymore. Bye" I feel guilt more than anything.

You're young. Learn from it & move on.

maplenpg said:

dude, here's nothing more unattractive than a needy person.... it's just a drag

you have to find happiness within yourself... find things you're passionate about... you've only got one life... live it

then you'll attract other (cool) people into your life

MoBettaBliss said:

dude, here's nothing more unattractive than a needy person.... it's just a drag

you have to find happiness within yourself... find things you're passionate about... you've only got one life... live it

then you'll attract other (cool) people into your life

This is the absolute truth. True happiness comes from within. You will never find happiness in someone else. Once you find happiness within yourself other people will be naturally drawn to you ... and when you do meet that special someone they will only enhance your happiness that much more. Spend some time cultivating your interests and finding things that bring joy...

Forget about her and move on. She not into you.

Ok, her and I talked later on. And this morning I told her I liked her. I explained how I felt about her and etc. I asked her to block me from facebook and her phone because It'll help me move on.

Before she did that she said she don't feel the same way about me and agreed I should move on. She said "You'll find someone wonderful eventually. just give it time. But my advice to you is, don't love someone that doesn't love themselves. Sorry, I don't feel the same way"

Then she blocked me, like I asked her to and I'm in the process of moving on.

So it's all good.

Positive vibes.

[Edited 8/15/15 16:59pm]