Empress said:

Being married does not make one "chained down". I've been married for 27 years this Sept and I'm happy in my marriage and very glad I found my partner. He's awesome! Granted, if you want multiple sexual partners, then don't marry. And, I agree that women should pay their way the same as men.

I dunno, I disagree. I think the man should pay...

SeventeenDayze said:

Empress said:

Being married does not make one "chained down". I've been married for 27 years this Sept and I'm happy in my marriage and very glad I found my partner. He's awesome! Granted, if you want multiple sexual partners, then don't marry. And, I agree that women should pay their way the same as men.

I dunno, I disagree. I think the man should pay...

Why?

SeventeenDayze said:

Empress said:

Being married does not make one "chained down". I've been married for 27 years this Sept and I'm happy in my marriage and very glad I found my partner. He's awesome! Granted, if you want multiple sexual partners, then don't marry. And, I agree that women should pay their way the same as men.

I dunno, I disagree. I think the man should pay...

We do.
We always do.
Maybe not always in the financial sense,
but believe me,
we do.
Hell,
I'm paying right now.

JustErin said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I dunno, I disagree. I think the man should pay...

Why?

Whyt not??

Visionnaire said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I dunno, I disagree. I think the man should pay...

We do.
We always do.
Maybe not always in the financial sense,
but believe me,
we do.
Hell,
I'm paying right now.

Funny!

SeventeenDayze said:

JustErin said:

Cinny said:

But don't you wanna be on the date too? Don't you make your own money? Isn't this an outdated tradition from when women were traded like heifers?

Hahaha....yeah, exactly.

This won't be taken any other way but insulting (which I honestly don't really mean it to be) but based on the many threads the OP has made, I understand (some of the reasons)why she is still single.

Women, rightfully, want equality, but for too many it seems they want it only on their terms with the exceptions they wish to enforce.

As an adult, I would never, ever expect anyone to pay for anything for me...ever. Why do (some) women insist on being treated like a child?

Daddy issues

i'm happy to pay... but i expect a blowjob... that's the way it's always been right?... men pay... women give them a blowjob... traditions are not to be disrespected

and for the second date... she has to cook me a bacon and tomato omelette ... the bacon needs to not be overcooked... then i might go down... after a blowjob

traditions are not to be disrespected

i mean, what man could possibly want a strong independent woman who's happy to stand on her own two feet?.... yuck!... we want to play games and for relationships to be a shallow bullshit-fest competetion... and blowjobs... we really like blowjobs

ConsciousContact said:

MoBettaBliss said:

i'm happy to pay... but i expect a blowjob... that's the way it's always been right?... men pay... women give them a blowjob... traditions are not to be disrespected

and for the second date... she has to cook me a bacon and tomato omelette ... the bacon needs to not be overcooked... then i might go down... after a blowjob

traditions are not to be disrespected

i mean, what man could possibly want a strong independent woman who's happy to stand on her own two feet?.... yuck!... we want to play games and for relationships to be a shallow bullshit-fest competetion... and blowjobs... we really like blowjobs

Word.
I'm all for the whole male female interaction when it comes to dating,
but, if at the end of the night, I end up with just getting a blowjob,
well then, for me, that's just mo betta bliss.

Less geat real, men compete for damn near everthing, including vaing for the attention of woman.

I can only speak from a cultral point of view.

Equality? Black women have always pulled our own weight and then some.... voluntary and involuntary. That being said... Most of the food on this Earth is grown and harvested by women. Women still do more than their fairshare inside the home. Women disproportionately are caregivers of elderly parents and extended family. Let's be clear, the economic / social structure to prevent some women from owning anything, working outside the home, or paying her own way wasn't devised or planned by women... it was devised and planned by men to control women. That's an entirely different discussion...(imho) SeveentenDayze didn't say anything about some guy taking care of her , its a date. my goodness.

==================================

[Edited 8/14/15 2:33am]

TD3 said:

TD3 said:

Less geat real, men compete for damn near everthing, including vaing for the attention of woman.

I can only speak from a cultral of view.

Equality? Black women have always pulled our own weight and then some.... voluntary and involuntary. That being said... Most of the food on this Earth is grown and harvested by women. Women still do more than their fairshare inside the home. Women disproportionately are caregivers of elderly parents and extended family. Let's be clear, the economic / social structure to prevent some women from owning anything, working outside the home, or paying her own way wasn't devised or planned by women... it was devised and planned by men to control women. That's an entirely different discussion...(imho) SeveentenDayze didn't say anything about some guy taking care of her , its a date. my goodness.

===================================

[Edited 8/13/15 17:41pm]

right on (except i've never competed for a woman's attention)

and let's not forget the fact that a blowjob is expected just because a guy paid for a damn meal...geesh... but hey... traditions are not to be disrespected

MoBettaBliss said:

TD3 said:

Less geat real, men compete for damn near everthing, including vaing for the attention of woman.

I can only speak from a cultral of view.

Equality? Black women have always pulled our own weight and then some.... voluntary and involuntary. That being said... Most of the food on this Earth is grown and harvested by women. Women still do more than their fairshare inside the home. Women disproportionately are caregivers of elderly parents and extended family. Let's be clear, the economic / social structure to prevent some women from owning anything, working outside the home, or paying her own way wasn't devised or planned by women... it was devised and planned by men to control women. That's an entirely different discussion...(imho) SeveentenDayze didn't say anything about some guy taking care of her , its a date. my goodness.

===================================

[Edited 8/13/15 17:41pm]

right on (except i've never competed for a woman's attention)

and let's not forget the fact that a blowjob is expected just because a guy paid for a damn meal...geesh... but hey... traditions are not to be disrespected

MoBettaBliss said:

i'm happy to pay... but i expect a blowjob... that's the way it's always been right?... men pay... women give them a blowjob... traditions are not to be disrespected

and for the second date... she has to cook me a bacon and tomato omelette ... the bacon needs to not be overcooked... then i might go down... after a blowjob

traditions are not to be disrespected

i mean, what man could possibly want a strong independent woman who's happy to stand on her own two feet?.... yuck!... we want to play games and for relationships to be a shallow bullshit-fest competetion... and blowjobs... we really like blowjobs

seventeendayze... if i may, i'd like to offer my advice for the second date

make two omelettes in two separate pans ... use 3 eggs for yours... 4 for his

don't cut the bacon too fine... if you do, you'll come off as lacking character... you want good sized chunks in there... it says "hey... i'm not too precious to take life by the throat"

the bacon should have some crisp to it but not too much

use a good size tomato each... dice it up... but again, not too fine

if you're going to add cheese, do it after the eggs have been cooking for a bit

don't forget a little salt and pepper

serve it with a nice salad

maybe something simple like hot bread rolls for entree

for desesrt... pecan pie and vanilla icecream

that's it... don't try and be too fancy... you might think fancy gives off a caring vibe, but what it really says is "this chick is high maintenance"

just some good, rustic food ... maybe a nice glass of wine... or a beer....he'll be in heaven

and don't talk too much... i mean, talk... just not too much... and just about cool shit

good luck!


.

[Edited 8/14/15 0:40am]

TD3 said:

Less geat real, men compete for damn near everthing, including vaing for the attention of woman.

I can only speak from a cultral point of view.

Equality? Black women have always pulled our own weight and then some.... voluntary and involuntary. That being said... Most of the food on this Earth is grown and harvested by women. Women still do more than their fairshare inside the home. Women disproportionately are caregivers of elderly parents and extended family. Let's be clear, the economic / social structure to prevent some women from owning anything, working outside the home, or paying her own way wasn't devised or planned by women... it was devised and planned by men to control women. That's an entirely different discussion...(imho) SeveentenDayze didn't say anything about some guy taking care of her , its a date. my goodness.

==================================

[Edited 8/14/15 2:33am]

What does any of that have to do with an adult, working woman expecting a man to pay for her dinner on a date?

Like you said, we're just talking about a date here and I'm still very curious as to what it actually means to have a man pay.

What is that supposed to say about that man?

SeventeenDayze said:

Empress said:

Being married does not make one "chained down". I've been married for 27 years this Sept and I'm happy in my marriage and very glad I found my partner. He's awesome! Granted, if you want multiple sexual partners, then don't marry. And, I agree that women should pay their way the same as men.

I dunno, I disagree. I think the man should pay...

My rule is, whoever initiates the date should pay.

uPtoWnNY said:

The reason I brought this up was BECAUSE of the topic of age gap, which I also see as an earning gap.

Regardless of gender, it is more likely that a 30 something PERSON earns more than a 20 something PERSON. It seems more than fair to pay for one's share on a date. And even if the 20 something person is not looking for a "SUGAR (PARENT PRONOUN)", I can't believe we would expect the younger one to pay for ALL of it. This goes for gay relationships as well.

Since my question about what it says about a man if he pays vs not paying has been ignored, I'm just going to share my take on it. Women who think that men should pay still consider themselves as property to be bought.

"If he pays for you he likes you if he doesn't, he doesn't think you're worth it". I have read this as a reason why it is important for men to pay.

Similarly I read, "If you like the man, you should expect and allow him to pay. If you do not, you should pay for your share and walk away forever".

So basically you're for sale. If you like him, he can buy you. Don't like him, he is not allowed to buy you.

Yeah, I know...I'm simplifying but I can't see any other reason why this is still expected, key word expected. And I do know that some men feel the same way. He has expectations as well, "If I like her, I shell out the $$$. I shell out the $$$, I get to be rewarded with her continued company or sex or whatever".

It's not that I think men should never pay for an outing, if he wants to, he should. Just like if I want to, I should.

We go out with friends and it's nice when that friend offers to pay, but we would never, ever expect them to, would we? Of course not, because our friendships are not based on transactions like dating seems to be; where money is used to convey someone's intentions and feelings of connection. Would you expect your best friend to pay for your dinner to prove that she likes you? Ugh, no way...that would be insulting to your bestie.

I'm confused as to why any adult would want to be in a relationship/partnership where power was not distributed equally, because that in turn makes the balance of control and ultimately respect off as well.

Anyway, getting back to the OP dating a younger man...I don't think it's a good idea. Based on her posts, she seems to need a well established, old school type of man...which typically means older.

[Edited 8/14/15 10:36am]

uPtoWnNY said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I dunno, I disagree. I think the man should pay...

My rule is, whoever initiates the date should pay.

That's fine as long as you communicate that to the person before the date as that might not be their rule.

Cinny said:

ConsciousContact said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Cinny said:

The reason I brought this up was BECAUSE of the topic of age gap, which I also see as an earning gap.

Regardless of gender, it is more likely that a 30 something PERSON earns more than a 20 something PERSON. It seems more than fair to pay for one's share on a date. And even if the 20 something person is not looking for a "SUGAR (PARENT PRONOUN)", I can't believe we would expect the younger one to pay for ALL of it. This goes for gay relationships as well.

Understood but he reached out to me first. Does that change your mind??

Yeah, a little, but only in that case.

JustErin said:

Since my question about what it says about a man if he pays vs not paying has been ignored, I'm just going to share my take on it. Women who think that men should pay still consider themselves as property to be bought.

"If he pays for you he likes you if he doesn't, he doesn't think you're worth it". I have read this as a reason why it is important for men to pay.

Similarly I read, "If you like the man, you should expect and allow him to pay. If you do not, you should pay for your share and walk away forever".

So basically you're for sale. If you like him, he can buy you. Don't like him, he is not allowed to buy you.

Yeah, I know...I'm simplifying but I can't see any other reason why this is still expected, key word expected. And I do know that some men feel the same way. He has expectations as well, "If I like her, I shell out the $$$. I shell out the $$$, I get to be rewarded with her continued company or sex or whatever".

It's not that I think men should never pay for an outing, if he wants to, he should. Just like if I want to, I should.

We go out with friends and it's nice when that friend offers to pay, but we would never, ever expect them to, would we? Of course not, because our friendships are not based on transactions like dating seems to be; where money is used to convey someone's intentions and feelings of connection. Would you expect your best friend to pay for your dinner to prove that she likes you? Ugh, no way...that would be insulting to your bestie.

I'm confused as to why any adult would want to be in a relationship/partnership where power was not distributed equally, because that in turn makes the balance of control and ultimately respect off as well.

Anyway, getting back to the OP dating a younger man...I don't think it's a good idea. Based on her posts, she seems to need a well established, old school type of man...which typically means older.

I hear what you're saying, Erin. I think people see friendship and dating way differently, but I kinda go by the same rules there.

JustErin said:

ThisOne said:

I never expect a man to pay for everything - I believe it should be as equal as possible / especially if u both work I also believe dating younger men is ok

If you expect some kind of permanent situation from a younger guy that is a risky scenario. Most of these relationships don't last over time. If you are just looking for a brief relationship, go for it.