TD3 said:

SeventeenDayze said:

TD3 said: That's good advice. Yeah that's why I asked this guy up front before we met who should pay for dates and gold him that I don't do Dutch dates. I said that maybe over time I might pay half on occasion but for the most part don't plan on going Dutch at all. So if he wants to keep seeing me but thinks he's gonna use me gor money he's gonna end up spending a lot of money in the meantime just to find out I'm not gullible lol

I'm not unsympathetic to what it cost to date and I never took issue with what was spent. I respected men who were creative on what we did or where we went. My home town is Chicago but I 've lived in other large urban areas and there's a lot of stuff you can attend for free... put together a picnic lunch, learn how to cook. I attended many art fairs, book readings, music concerts, movies in the park, and later treated to a hot dog at a stand. Talking to by daughter a lot of men are too clueless, lazy, or I guess unmotivated to see these options. Unmotivated men are usually unmotivated in other parts of their lives. Yes, the economy is so different from decades past, but it appears a lot of unmotivated men who've been able to shift the thinking, no demands should be put on them. That's why woman shouldn't date or fuck around with broke men... that's coming from an old broad who's been around the block a couple of times. It's been my experience men who really like you don't ask you to go dutch anyways.

That all sounds fair.

As a man, I must say, I like Dutch women. Altho, I am kinda sirprised on hairy they usually are. I mean, not that they're gonna give the Samoans gals any kind of competition,
but still,
I didn't expect to find myself having to forage that much thru their forests.

SeventeenDayze said:

uPtoWnNY said:

The reverse is also true. No broke-ass women for me.

Is that right? So why is that? Do you want them to help you out financially from time to time?

Nope. I'd never do that. But I don't want them asking me to help them out financially (which has happened in the past). Handle your own business, and I'll handle mine.

uPtoWnNY said:

SeventeenDayze said:

uPtoWnNY said:

Nope. I'd never do that. But I don't want them asking me to help them out financially (which has happened in the past). Handle your own business, and I'll handle mine.

I can understand that but from my perspective the guy should pay for dates. If I paid everything for myself that's almost like spending money to have someone else take me out. Hard to explain but I think women need to allow men to pay...

But don't you wanna be on the date too? Don't you make your own money? Isn't this an outdated tradition from when women were traded like heifers?

SeventeenDayze said:

Cinny said:

SeventeenDayze said:

uPtoWnNY said: I can understand that but from my perspective the guy should pay for dates. If I paid everything for myself that's almost like spending money to have someone else take me out. Hard to explain but I think women need to allow men to pay...

But don't you wanna be on the date too? Don't you make your own money? Isn't this an outdated tradition from when women were traded like heifers?

Outdated? Hmmm..not everything that's "old" is bad, take for example electricity, it's "old" but we can't live without it, right?!?!

morningsong said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah I hear you. I guess a part of me is perpetually skeptical. It's hard for me to not be cynical.

And you should be just as long as you're not "trumpeted" to him every time you talk to him. So, when's the next date?

Trumpeted? What's that mean? Something about Donald Trump? Next date? Not sure, he did send me a couple text messages yesterday asking about when I was going to cook for him. I pushed back and was like, "I just met you and you're already asking me to cook for you?" He later said he was just joking....I hope this guy doesn't have mother issues...

Take a deep breath and not over think things. It was a date, if he's upstanding guy and both of you like each other enough, you'll go out again.. You stated what you expect so , carry on.

SeventeenDayze said:

free2bfreeda said:

in a case of rarity if the younger man is financially established, i mean like on his own (over 21) and is not on a quest for older women, i think it's okay.

a good friend of mine is 10yrs older than her bo. they seem to have a great relationship. most of all (she says) he still likes to have fun.

That's interesting... How long has your friend been with her boyfriend?

the friend (was/is), my best friend. she was my mom. her and my dad loved each other dearly and stayed together for over 30yrs. my dad was a man with a pioneer spirit at a very early age. the type of a guy who enjoyed taking his family fishing within the state of idaho. he held and retired from a large company that produced alloyed metals after 30+yrs.

as i remember as a younger dad, he was fun, brave, intelligent, responsible, loved my mother, his children and he had and all the positive etceteras that a good man, husband, father should have.

yup, they met when he was 22yrs and she 31yrs.

(no futher details w/be posted)

[Edited 8/12/15 15:52pm]

TD3 said:

free2bfreeda said:

SeventeenDayze said:

free2bfreeda said:

the friend (was/is), my best friend. she was my mom. her and my dad loved each other dearly and stayed together for over 30yrs. my dad was a man with a pioneer spirit at a very early age. the type of a guy who enjoyed taking his family fishing within the state of idaho. he held and retired from a large company that produced alloyed metals after 30+yrs.

as i remember as a younger dad, he was fun, brave, intelligent, responsible, loved my mother, his children and he had and all the positive etceteras that a good man, husband, father should have.

yup, they met when he was 22yrs and she 31yrs.

(no futher details w/be posted)

[Edited 8/12/15 15:52pm]

Oh thanks for sharing but it seems like you cut off some of what you wrote. Why?

what do u mean?

i expressed all that i meant to via no futher info on what i've shared about me. the younger man is a woman's personal choice.

[Edited 8/12/15 18:35pm]

free2bfreeda said:

SeventeenDayze said:

free2bfreeda said:

what do u mean?

i expressed all that i meant to via no futher info on what i've shared about me. the younger man is a woman's personal choice.

[Edited 8/12/15 18:35pm]

what I meant was that it seemed like you cut off your story since you said no further details would be given... That's all...so your friend (mother) ended up with a nice man. That's good to hear

nice "younger" man.

free2bfreeda said:

Have never been in that situation though if I were to date a guy in his 20's, I would want him to be able to support himself and pay for me too, at least in the beginning. I don't want to be his mother or his sister as madonna put it, or as you say, sugar mama. He would have to be a man not a boy, so I would need a lot of luck with that one LOL As for you, I guess the honeymoon period is too early to tell but if you're getting a good vibe, and it sounds like you are, I say get to know each other some more.

alphastreet said:

Have never been in that situation though if I were to date a guy in his 20's, I would want him to be able to support himself and pay for me too, at least in the beginning. I don't want to be his mother or his sister as madonna put it, or as you say, sugar mama. He would have to be a man not a boy, so I would need a lot of luck with that one LOL As for you, I guess the honeymoon period is too early to tell but if you're getting a good vibe, and it sounds like you are, I say get to know each other some more.

Good advice Yeah he texts me just about every day but I'm still a bit skeptical. Only time will tell what his true intentions are...

Cinny said:

SeventeenDayze said:

uPtoWnNY said: I can understand that but from my perspective the guy should pay for dates. If I paid everything for myself that's almost like spending money to have someone else take me out. Hard to explain but I think women need to allow men to pay...

But don't you wanna be on the date too? Don't you make your own money? Isn't this an outdated tradition from when women were traded like heifers?

Hahaha....yeah, exactly.

This won't be taken any other way but insulting (which I honestly don't really mean it to be) but based on the many threads the OP has made, I understand (some of the reasons)why she is still single.

Women, rightfully, want equality, but for too many it seems they want it only on their terms with the exceptions they wish to enforce.

As an adult, I would never, ever expect anyone to pay for anything for me...ever. Why do (some) women insist on being treated like a child?

JustErin said:

Cinny said:

But don't you wanna be on the date too? Don't you make your own money? Isn't this an outdated tradition from when women were traded like heifers?

Hahaha....yeah, exactly.

This won't be taken any other way but insulting (which I honestly don't really mean it to be) but based on the many threads the OP has made, I understand (some of the reasons)why she is still single.

Women, rightfully, want equality, but for too many it seems they want it only on their terms with the exceptions they wish to enforce.

As an adult, I would never, ever expect anyone to pay for anything for me...ever. Why do (some) women insist on being treated like a child?

What's wrong with being single? Is it better to be married and miserable or divorced and bitter? There are MANY people on the Org who are single and happy. What gives Erin?

SeventeenDayze said:

JustErin said:

SeventeenDayze said:

What's wrong with being single? Is it better to be married and miserable or divorced and bitter? There are MANY people on the Org who are single and happy. What gives Erin?

Oh come on, I never said there was anything wrong with being single, but going by your threads it appears that you do not wish to be single. If I am wrong, I do apologize.

I dunno, I think I'm undecided Growing up I always imagined that by the time I hit my 30s I'd be ready to "settle down" but I just don't feel that way. I don't know if I could make the change and suddenly find myself chained down. It's hard to say. Some days are better than others!

SeventeenDayze said:

JustErin said:

SeventeenDayze said: Oh come on, I never said there was anything wrong with being single, but going by your threads it appears that you do not wish to be single. If I am wrong, I do apologize.

I dunno, I think I'm undecided Growing up I always imagined that by the time I hit my 30s I'd be ready to "settle down" but I just don't feel that way. I don't know if I could make the change and suddenly find myself chained down. It's hard to say. Some days are better than others!

I certainly don't know you other than the tiny portion of your life that you decide to share here, but your continued pursuit in trying to find a man sorta indicates that you're really not all that undecided after all...?

For whatever reason, I find that older woman who are single almost seem to be ashamed to say that they actually wish that they were in a relationship. They say all the right "single girl" things like how awesome it is to be independent and free and wouldn't change a thing but then at the same time they are actively searching for a man (trying to meet men at Church or dating sites or whatever).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be single, but there is also nothing wrong with not wanting to be single.

Whatever makes a person happy...

SeventeenDayze said:

Cinny said:

But don't you wanna be on the date too? Don't you make your own money? Isn't this an outdated tradition from when women were traded like heifers?

Outdated? Hmmm..not everything that's "old" is bad, take for example electricity, it's "old" but we can't live without it, right?!?!

Right! Electricity is an old resource and other women who don't want to be single are able to produce their own, so it seems silly to expect a man to generate it for them. I might have your metaphor a little off.

JustErin said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I dunno, I think I'm undecided Growing up I always imagined that by the time I hit my 30s I'd be ready to "settle down" but I just don't feel that way. I don't know if I could make the change and suddenly find myself chained down. It's hard to say. Some days are better than others!

I certainly don't know you other than the tiny portion of your life that you decide to share here, but your continued pursuit in trying to find a man sorta indicates that you're really not all that undecided after all...?

For whatever reason, I find that older woman who are single almost seem to be ashamed to say that they actually wish that they were in a relationship. They say all the right "single girl" things like how awesome it is to be independent and free and wouldn't change a thing but then at the same time they are actively searching for a man (trying to meet men at Church or dating sites or whatever).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be single, but there is also nothing wrong with not wanting to be single.

Whatever makes a person happy...

Well, I've posted here and there over the 4 years or so I've been on the Org. (But I lurked on the Org for about 10 years before joining, LOL). Anyway, I don't think "older" women are ashamed to say they want a relationshpi. What makes you say that? It actually IS awesome to be independent but there are moments when you wish you had companionship but you're not always willing to entertain the idea that it means a loss of freedom at the same time. Are you married Erin?

Cinny said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Outdated? Hmmm..not everything that's "old" is bad, take for example electricity, it's "old" but we can't live without it, right?!?!

Right! Electricity is an old resource and other women who don't want to be single are able to produce their own, so it seems silly to expect a man to generate it for them. I might have your metaphor a little off.

You're more than a "little" off LOL

SeventeenDayze said:

morningsong said:

SeventeenDayze said: And you should be just as long as you're not "trumpeted" to him every time you talk to him. So, when's the next date?

Trumpeted? What's that mean? Something about Donald Trump? Next date? Not sure, he did send me a couple text messages yesterday asking about when I was going to cook for him. I pushed back and was like, "I just met you and you're already asking me to cook for you?" He later said he was just joking....I hope this guy doesn't have mother issues...

A dumb way of saying, don't announce your deep rooted insecurities to him every chance you get, just shut the heck up, enjoy his company while it last. Be creative, and don't be a burden on him just to feel valued.

SeventeenDayze said:

JustErin said:

I certainly don't know you other than the tiny portion of your life that you decide to share here, but your continued pursuit in trying to find a man sorta indicates that you're really not all that undecided after all...?

For whatever reason, I find that older woman who are single almost seem to be ashamed to say that they actually wish that they were in a relationship. They say all the right "single girl" things like how awesome it is to be independent and free and wouldn't change a thing but then at the same time they are actively searching for a man (trying to meet men at Church or dating sites or whatever).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be single, but there is also nothing wrong with not wanting to be single.

Whatever makes a person happy...

Well, I've posted here and there over the 4 years or so I've been on the Org. (But I lurked on the Org for about 10 years before joining, LOL). Anyway, I don't think "older" women are ashamed to say they want a relationshpi. What makes you say that? It actually IS awesome to be independent but there are moments when you wish you had companionship but you're not always willing to entertain the idea that it means a loss of freedom at the same time. Are you married Erin?

No, I am not married...never been married.

What makes me say that is these women are saying one thing and doing another.

JustErin said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Well, I've posted here and there over the 4 years or so I've been on the Org. (But I lurked on the Org for about 10 years before joining, LOL). Anyway, I don't think "older" women are ashamed to say they want a relationshpi. What makes you say that? It actually IS awesome to be independent but there are moments when you wish you had companionship but you're not always willing to entertain the idea that it means a loss of freedom at the same time. Are you married Erin?

No, I am not married...never been married.

What makes me say that is these women are saying one thing and doing another.

Yes, there are some women who do that. I've been single for years now and just recently decided to get back into the dating thing again. I didn't expect that I'd be contacted by a guy in his early 20s. I'll give him a chance I suppose but I am skeptical. I hope he's not after anything and that's part of the reason why I'm even more inclined to let him pay for things because I don't want him to think that I'm ever going to pay for him like some kind of sugar mama! Call me old fashioned but I think it's cool if the guy pays!