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Valid Questions! - Unanswered questions.. Here's a good start to the week!
Just thought I would post this crap! 1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? 2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? 3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? 4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'? 6. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit? 7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? 9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? 10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? 11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing? 12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? 13. What do people in China call their good plates? 14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? 16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! 17. What do you call male ballerinas? 18. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?? 19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, Why couldn't he just buy dinner? 20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? 21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,is he still wrong? 24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you here is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? 25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? 26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? 27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window. 28. When I said this was crap at the beginning, why do you Orgers still read it? | |
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Damn... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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ChocolateInvasion said: Damn...
You wrote this!!! | |
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REDFEATHERS said: 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'? I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. There's a difference, alcoholics go to meetings. "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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minneapolisgenius said: REDFEATHERS said: 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'? I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. There's a difference, alcoholics go to meetings. Are you called Bob? | |
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REDFEATHERS said: minneapolisgenius said: REDFEATHERS said: 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'? I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. There's a difference, alcoholics go to meetings. Are you called Bob? No. That's why I would never go to a meeting. You can only go if your name is Bob anyway. [This message was edited Mon Mar 24 5:56:26 PST 2003 by minneapolisgenius] "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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REDFEATHERS said: ChocolateInvasion said: Damn...
You wrote this!!! Euh...true I never stop to amaze myself ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Damn, I actually going to answer them I'm afraid...
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? To get some coffee and a drink... 2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? No, only about 4 metres 3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? They can, depends on their age 4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Only assless people can 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'? It's not her real name 6. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit? Nope, shitdog 7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? Because you step in the house from outside, so you can't step in the house again because you already stepped inside. 8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? They were out of lights 9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? It can be used for centuries, but since it has been in that mountain so long, you have to drink it fast 10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? for poo-toast 11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing? It's called a BigMac 12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? Yo momma 13. What do people in China call their good plates? Good plates 14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? The radio didn't fit the hole 15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? They don't? 16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Hi, hi: erect 17. What do you call male ballerinas? Gay 18. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?? They dream in W's 19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, Why couldn't he just buy dinner? Huh? 20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? He is broke and needs your money 21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? testical 22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? afterbirth 23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,is he still wrong? It's chronic, so 'YES' 24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you here is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? Or lick it 25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? That's tasteless 26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? A whole asteroid in your ass? 27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window. So that's where all the roadside dogheads come from! 28. When I said this was crap at the beginning, why do you Orgers still read it? [/quote] I'M BORED! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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REDFEATHERS said: Here's a good start to the week!
Just thought I would post this crap! 1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? He doesn't mind seeing your front bottom, but can't stand the sight of your tits. 2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? Yes, and they also own whatever's on the other side of Earth's surface. 3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Fuck knows. 4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Yes, if you put them to soak in a glass of water by the side of your bed overnight. 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'? Usually at my AA meetings, they offer me a whiskey while I'm waiting to go in. 6. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit? No, you'd be a dog called Su. 7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? What are you referring to? 8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Fuck knows. 9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? The dead goat's blood that it contains doesn't last forever. 10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? That setting isn't for toast, it's for punishing naughty children. You simply put their hands in the slot and hold them there until the toaster's done. 11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing? No, it's called Le Kiss de nous. 12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? A bovophile. 13. What do people in China call their good plates? Shitty plates from UK. 14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Cause the series would have ended too quick. 15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? I do. 16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Goofy is easily aroused. Pluto is a stupid cunt. 17. What do you call male ballerinas? Ballacks. 18. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?? Yes, and it adds to the torture of being blind. 19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, Why couldn't he just buy dinner? You can't buy Roadrunner in a restaurant. 20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? Dunno. 21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Testing. 22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Dead babies. You have to suffocate them in plastic bags and then get the juice out as quick as possible to get the best results. 23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,is he still wrong? Never. 24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you here is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? I don't believe anybody when it comes to the stars. 25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? They call it alfabett sop. 26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? 27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window. You were running out of ideas at this stage, I presume. 28. When I said this was crap at the beginning, why do you Orgers still read it? Cos I'm at work and I'm bored. | |
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REDFEATHERS said: 1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? Because he doesnt want to see my 2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? Once you've dug and done you business it is yours, down, down, deeper and down 3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? I dunno why cant women put on mascara with their mouths closed? :confuse... oh I thought it was a joke 4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? I dont brush my teeth i have these cat chew sticks taste like arse 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'? It is anonomous cos that isnt your name is it 6. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit? Thats what I've been led to believe 7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? Because it sounds pouncy so its good for the upper class like myself 8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Late night food is located in the fridge for humans because its all ready to be ate there and then 9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? It likes to be used and abused liek all of us 10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? For artists who can't afford charcoal 11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing? Its called nothing... do u realise what they get up to in France! 12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? A pervert 13. What do people in China call their good plates? Ming surely 14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? He needed a little bit of cellotape 15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? What is time, when u are a cat? I sleep all day, do what i please... 16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Goofy is a man in a suit 17. What do you call male ballerinas? tighted wonders 18. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?? I do not know this one 19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, Why couldn't he just buy dinner? Can you really see him getting served? 20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? They are borke... hence stealing your money 21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? testicles 22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? babys... isnt that obvious. 23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,is he still wrong? Men are never wrong 24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you here is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? because people are dumb 25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Stutters do 26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? I've got this rash 27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window. I never never never ever blow dogs 28. When I said this was crap at the beginning, why do you Orgers still read it? [b]Because I wanted to see for myself Pussycat pussycat I you, yes I do... you and your pussycat nose
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1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? it'd be creepy if he stood there while u got undressed...
2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? dunno... 3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?i don't wear mascara, so i dunno 4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? yes. 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'? 2 admit your guilt, i suppose 6. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit? 7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? good point... 9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? 10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? maybe there's a few choice folks out there who actually dig burnt toast... 11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing? 12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? 13. What do people in China call their good plates? "bring out the good american!!" 14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? if they're doin the pee-pee dance, there's no need 2 do that... 16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! true... 17. What do you call male ballerinas? uhhh... 18. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?? i imagine so... 19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, Why couldn't he just buy dinner? 20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? 21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? testy. 22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? feelin tempted 2 say "babies"... 23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,is he still wrong? probably. 24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you here is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? 25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? that and dyslexic folks... 26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? 27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window. yeah, why is that??? 28. When I said this was crap at the beginning, why do you Orgers still read it? i ain't got nothin better 2 do question the edit [This message was edited Mon Mar 24 9:13:35 PST 2003 by Handclapsfingasnapz] | |
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ChocolateInvasion said: 17. What do you call male ballerinas? Gay LMFAO. :LOL: Some people are like Slinkies...
They're good for nothing but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. | |
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1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
Because then you'd be able to charge him for the strip show 11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing? No, it's called "Local Kissing". 13. What do people in China call their good plates? Japan 17. What do you call male ballerinas? Balls Arena 23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,is he still wrong? We're never wrong, we just let you think you're right to get more sex. Loved the questions. Red, you are officially my idol | |
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We are getting somewhere!
Keep posting your answers, we could conquer the universe and find out God really lives next door to you and keeps peeping through his curtains! | |
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REDFEATHERS said: 9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through
mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? You'll probably find it's a best before date rather than a use by date. The former is a guide when the product is at it's best, but it may still be perfectly safe to eat or use after this date. This can be on camera film, condoms, etc as well as food. The latter informs of the last date the product is considered to be safe to eat. Usually this is on foods that are high risk, ie meat, dairy, etc. In the case of the water, it'll be a guide to freshness only. I think I'll go to bed now. | |
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