Back in late 2011, I was at my night job talking to an older guy about my school job. He was telling me that he has a niece who's a teacher assistant there. He told me her name and I instanly remembered her face.

While at this school job, I saw her and asked her did she have an uncle named "Jimmy". She said "Yea, I sure do". We started talking about him and I was discussing some of the things that me and her uncle was talking about. Just small talk everyday.

A lady saw us talking and told me "I see you over there trying to talk to 'Kenya'". I said "naw, it aint like that..we just talking". For days, this lady kept nagging me to give my number to Kenya and ask her out to the movies. I was scared, thinking she wouldn't like me like that. It took me 3 days to finally give it to her and ask. Surprisingly she was nice about it like she was glad. "Oh yeah, sure!" Kenya said.

I gave her my number thursday and she called me that Saturday. When she called, I got nervous and told her I was busy and hung up. But I ended up calling her back like 5 mins later. We was talking about work related stuff and there wasnt any flirting going on at first. It was pretty much a dry conversation because I really didnt know what to say to this girl.

She called me about 4 or 5 different times out of that 2 week period. One time I told her "i;ve been thinkin about you today" She said really? Like she was impressed.

One day I told her I was on my way downtown to drop something off and she called me right back to ask did I wanted to stop by her place and watch a movie with her at her house. I told her yes. I did what I had to do and went over to her house.

We just sat and watched a recently released horror movie. After the movie, we just sat and talk as I was playing with her pet dog. While I was smiling, holding her dog, she was staring at me. When I looked at her, she quickly shifted her eyes to the ground blushing. I was like "what?" She said "Naw, im just watchin yall playing". I didnt get anything out of this date but I wish I could have at least wrapped my arm around her during the movie.

The day after, when we saw each other at work, I saw her sitting down. I told her "Hey Kenya, how you doing" She seemed kind of tired like she didnt want to talk. I havent spoken to her in like 4 months because I thought she was getting tired of me. She never called me back after that movie at home date.

Around March 2012, I had enough courage to tell her she can come by my house to watch a movie with me to return the favor. She said "Alright" in an unemotional tone. Some people have said that she was bipolar and wishy washy.

September 2012, Jimmy, her uncle called her and was speaking to her about me. He suggested that me and her should go to church together. She bursted out laughing. Before and after that suggestion, I tried calling her but she never picked up the phone. It made me wonder what did I do wrong.

She wasnt bad looking and it kills me to hear guys talking about how pretty she look. She was nice looking...but she was older than me. I was 27 and she was 34.

I still think about her. She no longer works at the school. I kind of miss her.

Did I do something wrong? Did she like me and felt I rejected her? Was she just being friendly and letting me down easily? Whats up?

Dating at work is a weird situation whether the dates go well or not, if it was me, I would have to be REALLY into someone to risk that.

She may have felt you were a nice guy but there just wan't that spark.

But I also wonder why you just flat out didn't talk to her for four months. I understand you got the cold shoulder in front of coworkers the next day; she was probably afraid you were going to show her affection in front of those people before she was ready to go through that.

It would have been cool to talk to her priivately about whether you should take it from there, but after a week or so she might well have felt you rejected her. She might also have seen it for what it was and decided, if he's not going to risk being embarrassed for me, he's not going to fight for me when the going gets tough.

So you might have missed an opportunity with that one, or maybe not. But three years later there's probably nothing to do about it. Just, think about it and try to be more forward the next time you find one worth going forward for.

It's easy to get fixated on one missed opportunity, like if I only I had acted different that one time three or four years ago, my life would be better now. But getting obsessed with the past keeps you out of the present. There are things I wish I had done differently with women I dated a long time ago but there are also things I did yesterday that I might do over if I could.

bobzilla77 said:

You know, I saw a very profound thing in documentary about a guy who was anxious about having a small dick. (I'm not saying this is your issue but, bear with me for a minute. )

This guy had been rejected by his girlfriend when he proposed to her, and that was mentioned to him as a reason why. And he had a complex about it.

After literally flying around the world, trying to find an enlargement process that would "actually work" he gave up and talked to my fave advice columnist, Dan Savage. And Dan told him, "I once had a bf with a small one. That didn't bother me, the sex was fine. But what did bother me, is that he wouldn't shut up about it, kept bringing it up and how awful he felt about it, and every little problem we had in the relationship ended up in a conversation about his small dick."

Dan said he got so exasperated he had to let the guy go. It wasn't the small size. It was the guy's inability to be comfortable in his own skin.

So what I'm saying, if you have insecurities about your looks, well hey, that's only human. But maybe you can find a way to stop calling attention to those feelings.

As a guy who has dated many women that I once would have thought "out of my league" I have to say - we are not always our own best judge. The other thing I would say, if you find yourself doing this with success, that's when you REALLY need to let it go. Don't beg the women for constant reeassurance. Nothing is more un-sexy to most women than a lack of confidence.

I do not know... but I do know I was at a park with some kids and some much younger woman comes up to me and starts talking me up! And she is playing with the kids! I was all "Oh hell yeah I still gots it!" then she invited me to go to church! LOL maybe not so much!

If you ask me, you fumbled on the goal line. She called you numerous times, invited you to her house and was staring/blushing as you played with her dog. She wouldnt have invited you over to "watch a movie" if she didnt want to "get busy", which is why she never called you after. She was probably thinking you werent interested in her. Now...I am out of practice, been married for 20 years, but I think your situation is definitely fixable. Explain you were nervous, "I couldnt believe you would even be interested in me". Basically, play dumb and work your way back in there (if thats what you want). It's not too late!

UncleJam hit the nail on the head.

UncleJam said:

If you ask me, you fumbled on the goal line. She called you numerous times, invited you to her house and was staring/blushing as you played with her dog. She wouldnt have invited you over to "watch a movie" if she didnt want to "get busy", which is why she never called you after. She was probably thinking you werent interested in her. Now...I am out of practice, been married for 20 years, but I think your situation is definitely fixable. Explain you were nervous, "I couldnt believe you would even be interested in me". Basically, play dumb and work your way back in there (if thats what you want). It's not too late!

Very astute!