We see these "Nice Guys" threads every once in a while. When I was single, I was often characterized as one of those guys. There are a few types of NGs:
- The Nice Guy described in the YouTube, who really isn't that different from other guys and wants to date the most attractive women.
- The Nice Guy who tries to slide from a woman's Friendzone to a woman's dating zone, which is a passive-aggressive approach.
- The Nice Guy who is the "In Case of Emergency" guy for a given female. that is, she never closes the dating door on him completely and perhaps sends him mixed messages.
The common denominator for these guys is that they don't always directly approach the woman with romantic intentions because they want to avoid direct rejection. They may be afraid of the rejection that is unavoidable in dating.
Nice Guys often suffer from narcissism, but in a different way. They think that they are so good that the women should just have the scales fall from their eyes and run to them without being properly approached.
Nice Guys, genuine or otherwise, have a lot to learn. Some of them need to learn how to actually approach women, and learn to accept rejection in the process. Through trial and error, they'll learn how to "punch their weight," and perhaps, what they really want or need.
Sure, Nice Guys can be overlooked or manipulated, but that's because they deal with human beings no less flawed or complicated than they are.
[Edited 4/7/15 11:18am]
[Edited 4/7/15 14:50pm]
Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016
Props will be withheld until the showing and proving has commenced. -- Aaron McGruder
That clip pretty much summed up what is said on here whenever someone makes those "nice guys finish last" type threads.
Women always want a nice guy but some will settle for the "troubled" cute guy over the boring, not into the same things, not attractive to them kind of guy, with the misguided hope that the bad guy will eventually come around.
I've never met a self-proclaimed "nice guy" that was attractive, personality wise. Real nice guys are very successful in relationships.
mkay. Original reply edited accordingly. Wasn't meant as a personal affront and I hope it's not taken that way.
[Edited 4/7/15 14:51pm]
>
No biggie.
The Youtube was harsh yet on point at times.
Well, I think he does get some things right, "NG"s often suffer from unrealistic expectations and fear of putting themselves out there to truly find happiness.
Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016
Props will be withheld until the showing and proving has commenced. -- Aaron McGruder
That clip pretty much summed up what is said on here whenever someone makes those "nice guys finish last" type threads.
Women always want a nice guy but some will settle for the "troubled" cute guy over the boring, not into the same things, not attractive to them kind of guy, with the misguided hope that the bad guy will eventually come around.
I've never met a self-proclaimed "nice guy" that was attractive, personality wise. Real nice guys are very successful in relationships.
what is your definition of a "real nice guy"?
[Edited 4/8/15 9:21am]
Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016
Props will be withheld until the showing and proving has commenced. -- Aaron McGruder
That clip pretty much summed up what is said on here whenever someone makes those "nice guys finish last" type threads.
Women always want a nice guy but some will settle for the "troubled" cute guy over the boring, not into the same things, not attractive to them kind of guy, with the misguided hope that the bad guy will eventually come around.
I've never met a self-proclaimed "nice guy" that was attractive, personality wise. Real nice guys are very successful in relationships.
what is your definition of a "real nice guy"?
[Edited 4/8/15 9:21am]
>
I suspect what she means is a real nice guy is just that. He doesn't have to proclaim his nice-ness. He genuinely is and you can take it or leave it.
A self-proclaimed one is like the one in the video.
Psssshhhh....tale as old as time. Females only like jerks and assholes, and then by the time they're 40 +, with 4 kids to 8 different men they claimed were "full of shit", "nothing - ass", etc, but STILL chose to reproduce with, then they want to look for the nice guy who was trying to holler at them back in the day, but wasn't trying to give any play to. Come on now.
I'm sure glad I don't have to deal with females. I don't see how straight men do it. The game playing is way too much for me.
I'm trying to work out the math of 4 kids by 8 different men. Talk about gymnastics, my goodness. Given that the video is by a guy and not a 40yr old woman with a house full of kids kind of gives some insight from another view.
Never said the video was by a 40 year old woman. My reply was a gross generalization, but still not too far from the truth nonetheless.
I'm trying to work out the math of 4 kids by 8 different men. Talk about gymnastics, my goodness. Given that the video is by a guy and not a 40yr old woman with a house full of kids kind of gives some insight from another view.
Never said the video was by a 40 year old woman. My reply was a gross generalization, but still not too far from the truth nonetheless.
- The Nice Guy who tries to slide from a woman's Friendzone to a woman's dating zone, which is a passive-aggressive approach.
What I found is the "friend zone" is defined by the woman anyway, and it really doesn't hurt being FRIENDLY (which is difficult when a woman is put on a pedestal by the nerd), but yes eventually the First Move has to be from the NG.
Sheesh. Why is straight dating so complicated? I feel like I've been spared a cruel fate lol It's like you gotta sing, dance, jitterbug, and side step, then throw a piece of meat in front of a female just to get her attention lop
One of the videos I found searching "nice guy rant" on YouTube was of a guy in a jason mask sitting behind a fake-wood-paneled wall, on which hung a framed grim reaper poster and framed Venom comic book. He was complaining about getting friend-zoned.
Mercy.
Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016
Props will be withheld until the showing and proving has commenced. -- Aaron McGruder
Sheesh. Why is straight dating so complicated? I feel like I've been spared a cruel fate lol It's like you gotta sing, dance, jitterbug, and side step, then throw a piece of meat in front of a female just to get her attention lop
I think that's because there is a very real urge to procreate and a very real chance of it happening with someone who is not the right one, and all the responsibilites that follow (even if the responsibility ends with abortion or adoption - all pretty heavy consequences for who you even associate with).
One of the videos I found searching "nice guy rant" on YouTube was of a guy in a jason mask sitting behind a fake-wood-paneled wall, on which hung a framed grim reaper poster and framed Venom comic book. He was complaining about getting friend-zoned.
Sheesh. Why is straight dating so complicated? I feel like I've been spared a cruel fate lol It's like you gotta sing, dance, jitterbug, and side step, then throw a piece of meat in front of a female just to get her attention lop
it is, and that's why prostitution will NEVER disappear
Sheesh. Why is straight dating so complicated? I feel like I've been spared a cruel fate lol It's like you gotta sing, dance, jitterbug, and side step, then throw a piece of meat in front of a female just to get her attention lop
it is, and that's why prostitution will NEVER disappear
[Edited 4/8/15 15:19pm]
World's oldest profession for a reason lol 😉 Even Jesus kicked it with one, so they cam. Be that bad!
We see these "Nice Guys" threads every once in a while. When I was single, I was often characterized as one of those guys. There are a few types of NGs:
- The Nice Guy described in the YouTube, who really isn't that different from other guys and wants to date the most attractive women.
- The Nice Guy who tries to slide from a woman's Friendzone to a woman's dating zone, which is a passive-aggressive approach.
- The Nice Guy who is the "In Case of Emergency" guy for a given female. that is, she never closes the dating door on him completely and perhaps sends him mixed messages.
The common denominator for these guys is that they don't always directly approach the woman with romantic intentions because they want to avoid direct rejection. They may be afraid of the rejection that is unavoidable in dating.
Nice Guys often suffer from narcissism, but in a different way. They think that they are so good that the women should just have the scales fall from their eyes and run to them without being properly approached.
Nice Guys, genuine or otherwise, have a lot to learn. Some of them need to learn how to actually approach women, and learn to accept rejection in the process. Through trial and error, they'll learn how to "punch their weight," and perhaps, what they really want or need.
Sure, Nice Guys can be overlooked or manipulated, but that's because they deal with human beings no less flawed or complicated than they are.
[Edited 4/7/15 11:18am]
[Edited 4/7/15 14:50pm]
The guy has some points, but he sounds a lot like the douchebags that the "nice guys" hate so much.
The biggest mistake most nice guys make, and I know this from experience, is trying to be that great male buddy of the woman they really want to date, thinking that this will make them more romantically desirable to that woman down the line. The problem with that approach is that there's no indication of sexual escalation by the guy towards the woman, and she immediately puts him into her friend zone, which means she will use him as her emotional teddy bear but most likely will never put herself out there sexually for him.
As for the "in case of emergency" nice guy, a woman may keep a friend like that around, but she literally will only go out with him if she's totally desperate. That is, if she gets dumped by the guy she is attracted to, and her girlfriends aren't around to give her emotional support that week or weekend, and/or she is feeling incredibly lonely and/or horny. But that happens only rarely, and she will suddenly break it off once her self-esteem improves.
The other problem with "nice guys" is that they are always available for the women they want to go out with or make themselves available to these women at the drop of a dime, which shows weak masculinity. A desirable man may attract really hot women, and while he certainly will take advantage of his opportunities to date such women, they aren't the be all and end all of his existence, and he has lot going on in his life besides dating.
That clip pretty much summed up what is said on here whenever someone makes those "nice guys finish last" type threads.
Women always want a nice guy but some will settle for the "troubled" cute guy over the boring, not into the same things, not attractive to them kind of guy, with the misguided hope that the bad guy will eventually come around.
I've never met a self-proclaimed "nice guy" that was attractive, personality wise. Real nice guys are very successful in relationships.
Neither have I.
In my experience...
These proclaimed nice guys --were some of the biggest insecure assholes you'd ever want to meet. Any guy that tells you he's a nice guy, RUN.
Some men and women.... are attracted to fucking DRAMA. If these folks don't get their fix of DRAMA they'll go search for someone who will run them through the mill.
I have friends who are now in their mid 50's: Men and women who've been crying the last two decades, "they wanted a husband, a wife and a family. I can count on my hand how many of these fools had folks who came into their lives... who would have walked on coals for them, accepted them for who they are....
But nooooooooo, it was always some bullshit shallow reason why he or she wasn't good enough.
We see these "Nice Guys" threads every once in a while. When I was single, I was often characterized as one of those guys. There are a few types of NGs:
- The Nice Guy described in the YouTube, who really isn't that different from other guys and wants to date the most attractive women.
- The Nice Guy who tries to slide from a woman's Friendzone to a woman's dating zone, which is a passive-aggressive approach.
- The Nice Guy who is the "In Case of Emergency" guy for a given female. that is, she never closes the dating door on him completely and perhaps sends him mixed messages.
The common denominator for these guys is that they don't always directly approach the woman with romantic intentions because they want to avoid direct rejection. They may be afraid of the rejection that is unavoidable in dating.
Nice Guys often suffer from narcissism, but in a different way. They think that they are so good that the women should just have the scales fall from their eyes and run to them without being properly approached.
Nice Guys, genuine or otherwise, have a lot to learn. Some of them need to learn how to actually approach women, and learn to accept rejection in the process. Through trial and error, they'll learn how to "punch their weight," and perhaps, what they really want or need.
Sure, Nice Guys can be overlooked or manipulated, but that's because they deal with human beings no less flawed or complicated than they are.
[Edited 4/7/15 11:18am]
[Edited 4/7/15 14:50pm]
The guy has some points, but he sounds a lot like the douchebags that the "nice guys" hate so much.
The biggest mistake most nice guys make, and I know this from experience, is trying to be that great male buddy of the woman they really want to date, thinking that this will make them more romantically desirable to that woman down the line. The problem with that approach is that there's no indication of sexual escalation by the guy towards the woman, and she immediately puts him into her friend zone, which means she will use him as her emotional teddy bear but most likely will never put herself out there sexually for him.
As for the "in case of emergency" nice guy, a woman may keep a friend like that around, but she literally will only go out with him if she's totally desperate. That is, if she gets dumped by the guy she is attracted to, and her girlfriends aren't around to give her emotional support that week or weekend, and/or she is feeling incredibly lonely and/or horny. But that happens only rarely, and she will suddenly break it off once her self-esteem improves.
The other problem with "nice guys" is that they are always available for the women they want to go out with or make themselves available to these women at the drop of a dime, which shows weak masculinity. A desirable man may attract really hot women, and while he certainly will take advantage of his opportunities to date such women, they aren't the be all and end all of his existence, and he has lot going on in his life besides dating.
You can go on about friend-zone theories all you want but the reality is that a guy that is in the friend zone is someone that the woman is not attracted to....period.
I think the big difference between men and women is that women genuinely can like a guy as a friend with no intention of anything more but men either are attracted to a woman and try to be her friend with the real intention of making it sexual at some point or they aren't attracted and do not even want a friendship with her.
Genuine friendships between men and women that are strictly platonic with no other motive but friendship is not common...and that's because many men think women are simply not friend worthy people.
The guy has some points, but he sounds a lot like the douchebags that the "nice guys" hate so much.
The biggest mistake most nice guys make, and I know this from experience, is trying to be that great male buddy of the woman they really want to date, thinking that this will make them more romantically desirable to that woman down the line. The problem with that approach is that there's no indication of sexual escalation by the guy towards the woman, and she immediately puts him into her friend zone, which means she will use him as her emotional teddy bear but most likely will never put herself out there sexually for him.
As for the "in case of emergency" nice guy, a woman may keep a friend like that around, but she literally will only go out with him if she's totally desperate. That is, if she gets dumped by the guy she is attracted to, and her girlfriends aren't around to give her emotional support that week or weekend, and/or she is feeling incredibly lonely and/or horny. But that happens only rarely, and she will suddenly break it off once her self-esteem improves.
The other problem with "nice guys" is that they are always available for the women they want to go out with or make themselves available to these women at the drop of a dime, which shows weak masculinity. A desirable man may attract really hot women, and while he certainly will take advantage of his opportunities to date such women, they aren't the be all and end all of his existence, and he has lot going on in his life besides dating.
You can go on about friend-zone theories all you want but the reality is that a guy that is in the friend zone is someone that the woman is not attracted to....period.
I think the big difference between men and women is that women genuinely can like a guy as a friend with no intention of anything more but men either are attracted to a woman and try to be her friend with the real intention of making it sexual at some point or they aren't attracted and do not even want a friendship with her.
Genuine friendships between men and women that are strictly platonic with no other motive but friendship is not common...and that's because many men think women are simply not friend worthy people.
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Yasss!
You did that!
Took all the mumbo-jumbo out of obvious psychoanalysis.
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mkay. Original reply edited accordingly. Wasn't meant as a personal affront and I hope it's not taken that way.
what is your definition of a "real nice guy"?
