I feel like a huge asshole right now. I have a friend who is a DJ here in Los Angeles. And i have constantly missed out on his parties and DJ events. But i am very busy all the time... and can't make it. He obviously has some harsh feelings about this and I've felt bad about it. And tonight i pretty much promised him that i would go to his event.

But then i had to work a double shift today unexpectedly. Cause we were short some people and i worked 6 extra hours. On top of that i went ahead and paid my bills early (rent, gym, student loans) and have almost no money till next Friday. Plus I'm tired as hell and just wanna relax. I feel like an asshole for having to cancel on him again....

But what do you orgers think about this? i work 50-70 hours a week. And my whole life is pretty much work and the gym are you that type of person? do you get mad at people like this?

Gunsnhalen said:

I feel like a huge asshole right now. I have a friend who is a DJ here in Los Angeles. And i have constantly missed out on his parties and DJ events. But i am very busy all the time... and can't make it. He obviously has some harsh feelings about this and I've felt bad about it. And tonight i pretty much promised him that i would go to his event.

But then i had to work a double shift today unexpectedly. Cause we were short some people and i worked 6 extra hours. On top of that i went ahead and paid my bills early (rent, gym, student loans) and have almost no money till next Friday. Plus I'm tired as hell and just wanna relax. I feel like an asshole for having to cancel on him again....

But what do you orgers think about this? i work 50-70 hours a week. And my whole life is pretty much work and the gym are you that type of person? do you get mad at people like this?

I'm kinda the king of making promises that i don't keep. Nothing like life of death promises, but nevertheless, i make promises that i don't keep.

The thing about that is it makes a person not believe the person who breaks the promise, and can eventually put a strain on the friendship.

The best way to remedy situations like the one you mentioned is to not make promises. Also you could just show up at one of his parties. That way, at least he will know that you're not just bullshiting him and you really do value his friendship.

[Edited 3/28/15 23:09pm]

If you would cancel because of something, i never get mad.

If you constantly cancel, i wouldn´t want you there any more.

Your priority is at your work and your gym apperently.

That´s your choice.

So stop telling him your going to one of his dj events.

nextedition said:

If you would cancel because of something, i never get mad.

If you constantly cancel, i wouldn´t want you there any more.

Your priority is at your work and your gym apperently.

That´s your choice.

So stop telling him your going to one of his dj events.

You make it sound like a bad thing. This guy also doesn't very much... and i work 2 near full time jobs. I gotta make a living and hussle and that includes extra hours sometimes. I'm not going to be sorry for working.

looks like you need to find some time for your friends

I Do get what y'all mean though... i really want to have time for my friend's. But i simply can't see someone every week... or two weeks. And i know it's frustrating to have a friend like that. But i have to work a lot to grow in my careers. I also have to pay rent, studnet loans, phone bill, credit card, bus fares, lyft from time to time. And if my manager ever asks me to stay late... i always say yes.

Gunsnhalen said:

I Do get what y'all mean though... i really want to have time for my friend's. But i simply can't see someone every week... or two weeks. And i know it's frustrating to have a friend like that. But i have to work a lot to grow in my careers. I also have to pay rent, studnet loans, phone bill, credit card, bus fares, lyft from time to time. And if my manager ever asks me to stay late... i always say yes.

did u suck his cack?

did u suck his ballzzz?

did u suck his azz??

If you already know that you make your career and the gym priorities over your friends then you shouldn't make promises that you can't keep in regards to attending their events. Don't get me wrong, I understand your need and want to work a lot of hours....however, I truly believe that people make time for those that they want to make time for. Point blank, end of discussion. I'll give it to you straight, folks that keep telling me that they would like to attend my events and then once I invite them (more than once) and they don't show up to any, then after the 3rd time, I'm done asking you to attend. Done. It doesn't mean that the friendship is over, but it does mean that I've put you in a "touch and go" friend category because it's been made obvious that I can't depend on you. I get that things unexpectedly come up, but unexpectations only occur some of the time, not all of the time.

I'm not being mean here or trying to sound harsh, but in all honesty, you've just displayed that your friend isn't a priority on your list and I believe that your guilty feelings are stemming from the fact that deep down, you know this is true. The way to rectify this is to 1) stop promising that you'll go his events, 2) talk to him about your schedule, 3) decide what type of friendship you want to have with this person....for instance does your friend make an honest effort to be there for you? If so, then you should try to make an effort to be there for him also, otherwise, your friendship should just be on a touch and go status.

Hope it works out and good luck to you.

Gunsnhalen said:

nextedition said:

If you would cancel because of something, i never get mad.

If you constantly cancel, i wouldn´t want you there any more.

Your priority is at your work and your gym apperently.

That´s your choice.

So stop telling him your going to one of his dj events.

You make it sound like a bad thing. This guy also doesn't very much... and i work 2 near full time jobs. I gotta make a living and hussle and that includes extra hours sometimes. I'm not going to be sorry for working.

where did i see it´s a bad thing?

I'm just saying your priorty is at your work and gym, that's your choice.

You want to grow in your career and have hard, fucking horny hot muscles instead of going to your friend

I constantly invite people to come see my bands play and they almost never show up.

I don't care. I know they have lives. I sometimes hear people making apologies or excuses, and have to say "Hey, it's not an obligation - just an opportunity in case you wanted to hear some music this weekend."

If they do show up I don't think they are better friends than the ones who didn't come.

And for sure if someone told me "man, I am having to work 70 hours a week right now just to keep up" I would not make it a big deal.

So do be honest. Don't tell him yes and claim a spot on the guest list and then not go. It is depressing to let people in free and not have them show up, especially if I had to tell someone else I was out of space on the list.